The Nature Of Fate
by Jazzy Shepard
Summary: Tami is in between worlds due to an unfortunate accident. While testing out new gaming equipment she finds herself in the world of Red Dead without an escape. When a romance sparks between herself and the ever famous Arthur Morgan she may never want to leave. Slow burn, lemons in later chapters. Also written on AOE under username HealerOfSins
1. Prologue

Tami sat on her old couch wiping Cheeto dust into her unwashed shorts. Black hair hung in strands from not being washed in days. Baby blue eyes nearly colorless in their brightness. Her pale skin was sheen in a light layer of unwashed grease. Full hips and broad shoulders matched perfectly with her average weight. She wouldn't be running a 4k anytime soon, but she was healthy enough.

She blew a sigh and sat back. The game over on the screen for the hundredth time was gearing on her nerves. Her phone rang an alarm for her to go to bed, but she pressed the buttons hard and growled out. She wasn't going to bed. At least not until she beat this damn boss once and for all.

Discomfort raced through her body and made her shift her stance. Well, it could wait until she had a proper break. At the speed of light, she ran to the bathroom, taking her phone with her.

Her constant connection to the internet already had her browsing a few sites in her boredom. What she saw made her jaw drop.

Rockstar was offering a paid testing trial for a new console design. A giddy spike raced through her veins as she answered every question and sent her application away. Tami knew it was near impossible to get into these types of things, but she hoped. She would be able to test a new console and get paid on top of that. With a grin she already started to wonder what it could be that there needed to be testing.

"Is this the right line?"

A tall man with a black beard and shaved head turned to look at the short woman next to him. He smiled in a friendly way but shook his head.

"Line for the women is just over there." He offered while pointing behind himself. Tami gave a short thanks and walked through the amazingly long line to see a shorter line behind it.

The women were already chatting away in line when Tami approached the back. Her fingers digging into her phone in anticipation as she read over the email again.

_Rockstar wants to thank you for your application. Due to the incredible wave of positive feedback and applications we will be hosting live interviews in a town near you. We will require a valid id, social, and a note from your doctor to inform us that you are in good physical shape upon arrival._

_Please understand that your health is important to us. Because of this we must turn away any applicant that is pregnant..._

Tami locked her phone and shoved it in her pocket. Her mind ran wild with what this could mean. The leather strap of her purse dug into her shoulder as she fiddled with the metal zipper on it. Everyone was either looking at their phones or chatting away. The line moved relatively quickly, and after an hour people started leaving looking relatively pissed.

"Hey that woman was behind my cousin. Maybe she got in?" Tami turned around to see a slender black woman. Her deep brown eyes sparkled with excitement, as full move star lips turned upward in a great smile.

"Eh, the woman?" Tami stuttered a bit awkwardly.

"No, my cousin... I got here a bit late so she went ahead of me. My names Jenna." The woman offered a well-manicured hand to shake. Tami took it in her own and smiled.

"I'm Tami. I didn't expect so many gamers here." Tami looked back to the line. While their line was shorter than the men's, there was still at least thirty women in front of her.

"Me neither. Every time I meet another woman online it's like a freaking unicorn." Jenna smirked.

"Maybe they don't want to turn on the mic. We all know how that is." Tami replied with a snicker. Jenna gave a soft laugh in response. The two started a short conversation about which games they enjoyed and how they came across this opening.

"Yeah, I had a lot of paid time off stored away so I thought why not go for it. I get time off from my job to test games, and I'll get paid double." Jenna spoke excitedly.

"I do freelance work, so it was a little easier for me to just drop ship." Tami explained with a shrug, "It's usually slow this time of year with Christmas coming up anyway. Everyone wants to save up to get gifts." Jenna nodded with understanding.

"At least people like you. I work in a call center for a loan company. No one likes me." Jenna flashed her pearly whites in a deep smile. Tami let out a low laugh.

"You'd be surprised. I'd have a contract drawn up and everything and they'll be all like, 'I didn't agree to this much' or 'Can't you just give me a break?' I've got bills to pay too. I wish I could but you called me and signed on the dotted line so..." Tami gave a shrug and rubbed her chin.

"What kind of freelance work do you do?" Jenna asked while looking up the line. There was just two more women in front of them, but a few dozen behind them now.

"Repair work mostly. Electronics, pluming, and even car repair. You name it I can most likely do it. Went to tech school instead of collage so I got my hands into everything I could." Tami explained softly. Another women was lead inside.

"That's cool, you don't have to call anyone when something breaks." Jenna laughed and shook her head, "I can check my oil in my car and install anti-virus on my laptop but that's about it."

"Oh, it's really easy to learn with google and YouTube these days. Honestly I have to look up a majority of what I work on though I've been to school for it." Tami gave a soft laugh. She was interrupted by a middle-aged blond man at the front.

"Next please!" He shouted. He looked irritated and tired. Bright blue eyes stained down at Tami with discomfort. He shifted from foot to food as she quickly accented the few steps to him. He turned quickly and began walking without another word.

The lobby was small and cramped with a handful of people wearing Rockstar shirts and lanyards. Many of them chatted amongst themselves while looking over their clipboards. A few of them looked up at her and eyed the new face.

The furniture was sparse yet clean: walls a painful white, and the red tile looked like fresh blood. The blond man paused at a desk to the front and talked in a low voice. Tami looked to the walls. Posters she hadn't noticed before stood erect. Different game posters clung to the walls. Each one proudly displaying the Rockstar brand.

"This is Fern, she is going to get you started." The man said roughly. Tami stood up straight and nodded. His brisk pace and bad attitude didn't go unnoticed.

Fern gave a sigh and pushed her curly red hair behind her shoulder, "Never mind him." She spoke with a smooth Welsh accent, "I'll need your Identification and Social to get started here. Once I have you in the computer, you'll either have to fill out a form, or will be bumped up the list if you filled out the online form before coming."

Tami quickly dig through her wallet, "I filled it out a week ago." She said while handing over her cards. The woman smiled sweetly.

"Good for you, you won't have to wait long to get into the interview then. We haven't had many online forms here in Oklahoma." The woman began typing away and nodded to herself. She clicked her tongue a few times while she worked and returned the cards quickly, "Okay Tami, you can wait in the Red Dead room."

Before Tami could ask which room that was the blond man reappeared and tapped her shoulder lightly. Once again, his cool attitude lingered as he walked her through a small hallway. A blue room came up on their left. She was able to see a few people sitting on blue couches and a neon poster for the game 'Bully' on the back wall. To the right was another room brightly lit up in different colors. She looked in to see a much larger group of people laughing around. A few different posters for Grand Theft Auto lines the back wall. And finally, they reached a room bathed in red light.

The bright light hurt her eyes slightly, but she looked around all the same. Aside from the large poster of the newest Red Dead game on the wall, the room was fairly bare. No one else sat on either of the small red loveseats.

"Tami? Follow me please." A tall Hispanic man with bright blue eyes and a soft smile appeared in the doorway. His rich Latin accent was absolutely engrossing. Nerves bundled deep within Tami, and made her shake slightly as he led her even deeper into this unknown fortress. Here and there she saw other people sitting outside of doorways. Some wearing uniforms, and others dressed casually. A handful of them were storming back the way she came with pissed expressions.

"Don't expect to get in. The questions are rigged." An older woman snapped as she walked past. Tami jumped at her sudden sharpness, and looked to her guide with worry.

"Ah, everyone reacts a little differently. Don't worry, we treat everyone fairly." The guide spoke with a wink. Their footsteps echoed off of the white walls. Every so often a poster or artwork would be posted to add a splash of color. It was clear the environment was made hastily and with little thought, "Here we are, just answer the questions honestly. After the interview is over you will either get an invitation, or…" He fumbled a bit on his words as the door slammed open.

An easer looking young woman nearly pounced from the room, "Finally!" she nearly screeched, "I have been stuck in that room waiting for someone forever. You wouldn't believe the amount of people who don't want to fill out the online forms." Slender ivory fingers curled around Tami's arm firmly. Tami looked to her guide who looked at her in a bemused fashion.

"I'll be here when you're done." He offered before the door slammed shut. The woman turned around a stuck out her well-manicured hand. She was dressed differently than the outside employees. Her black dress was defiantly HR style professional. Small black heels, and deep brown hair tied back into a bun. She looked through her oval rimmed glasses to stair intently with blue green eyes.

"Welcome to your interview. I am Genna. We were supposed to have a lot more of you show up but surprise, surprise. They didn't show up. We've had so many walk-ins... I offered to take some of them on, but you know how the higher ups are. Always got to do it a certain way. Even if it takes longer am I right." Tami took the woman's hand slowly and watched as the young face light up as she spoke in a hurried fashion, "I mean how are we supposed to fill only ten slots for a whole state?" Her eyes opened wide and she put a hand to her mouth, "I didn't say that." Tami gave a soft grin.

"I didn't hear anything. But if I did, why are some of the others staying behind if its only ten slots." Tami asked softly. Gena made a show of looking around the room and wiggling a finger for Tami to get closer.

"Other states have higher population ratios, so we have more slots for them. Unfortunately, not enough people either passed the background check, or passed their interviews. Were outsourcing contestants, you could say. Also a few people are here for interviews to help intern during the trials. We just don't have enough resources here to separate everyone." Genna moved to expose the small room. There was no table or papers. In fact it just seemed to be the two of them with two plush chairs.

It wasn't until Genna moved to sit that Tami noticed she was holding a small tablet in her hands, "Please… Sit. First question, how many family members do you have? We need to know in case you get in. They receive free…"

Tami sighed softly, "None."

"Well they will… wait, what?" Genna asked growing pale in the face.

Tami gave a soft smile, "It's alright. I was an orphan. Aged out of the system when I was eighteen. Don't have any family. Had a foster mom once, and she was the most amazing woman I've ever known. But she had cancer and once I said goodbye her husband sent me back into the system. So here I am." Tami laughed softly and pushed her hands together.

"Okay… Uh… Huh." Genna pushed her glasses back onto her nose and smiled brightly again as if nothing had happened, "What's your favorite Rockstar game?"

Tami was shifting for what seemed to be the hundredth time as Genna finished taping away at her pad. It had nearly been two hours since she first sat down. A longer interview was a good sign wasn't it?

Genna prodded her lower lip with her finger and looked back at the tablet, "Just one minute." She stood up and left the room so quickly that her tablet lay unlocked in the seat. Tami looked down and felt shocked at what she saw.

Instead of a question sheet she expected, there was a chat box open. Someone had been sending her the questions and she typed out a reply. The last text was asking Genna to leave the room. A loud click filled the small room making Tami jump.

"Hello again!" the guide from earlier greeted her warmly, "My name is Mateo. I will be with you for the entire month. If you're ready, I'm supposed to have you meet the others. Well, after you fill out some paperwork for us." Tami gave a large grin.

* * *

"These straps here are to hold you in tight, those are to attach to your nerves, and this helmet here is to completely submerge you into the chosen game."

Tami was absolutely amazed at the care and thought put into the device before her.

"You see, this product won't ever be sold into homes unfortunately. What we are going to do is sell a vacation of sorts. Everyone would love to live in their favorite game for a few days. We are ready to achieve that goal."

Tami's mouth fell open at the thought. Being able to sit in a game. It was going to change the world. Possibly not in the best way.

"If you've all read your contracts, you already know we are planning to live stream each and every one of your separate experiences onto our website. That's where the payment aspect comes in. Since you are all officially apart of the Rockstar stream team, you will be paid according to your popularity and donations. Any questions?"

Tami watched as everyone shook their head. She lifted a hand slowly into the air. The female tech pointed at Tami with a smile,

"When do we get to start?"


	2. Prologue Part 2

_Open your eyes._

Tami felt a strange sensation come over her body. A pulling and pushing that seemed to never go away. Her eyes wouldn't respond to her. Worry took over her mind. Was she stuck somewhere? In the darkness. She tried to scream out for help, but it was as if her body wasn't responding to anything.

_Relax your mind. Let it come to you slowly._

She tried to relax. Blood pumped adrenalin into her veins at a rapid rate. Weight pulled her body down, forcing it to keep still. A deep breath in and out made her realize she still had some control over her body. Eyes fluttered as they fought to stay closed. She pleaded with herself, begging the small flaps to raise over her eyes and let her see. Once again, they fluttered just slightly. A bright blue sky met her eyes for just a few moments. A face she recognized just a little blurred as her eyes forced themselves closed.

_You see, its going to be okay. Just relax._

Her eyes opened with resistance but stayed open this time. A small woman knelt over her with a gentle smile on her face. Brown hair in an updo, and face bare of any makeup. She wore a simple dress that seemed out of date.

_Now try your fingers._

The voice wasn't from the woman. Her mouth never moved. It was a mans voice tinged with an accent. Tami pushed her thoughts aside for a moment and started wiggling her toes and fingers. A slight pain came across them. Like a million ants dancing along her body.

_Tami. There's good news. You have successfully been introduced into the Cocoon. Just take it slow. Ill be here the whole time._

Mateo! His presence in her mind was strange, but welcome all the same. They had spent the last week introducing her to the Cocoon slowly, but never fully submerging her. A few of the other chosen had failed to assimilate to the program properly. Thankfully she had done alright. It was successful, she had been introduced into the world! Her excitement bubbled up through her chest and came from her mouth in a form of cheer. The woman took a step back and gazed down at Tami with question.

_Your vitals are rising too quickly. Try to calm down and focus on fully submerging yourself into the world._

Tami felt a blush creep up her neck and through her cheeks. She did as she was told and held onto the new feeling. The ants slowly crept from her fingers and toes into her hands and feet. Her ankles rolled as she flexed her feet. Hands balled into fists as she fought the weight in her body.

_Good job. You're doing great. Once your ready to walk let Mary Beth know. She's the most comforting Character we could use for training. Once you start talking to her, I will disconnect, but I'll be right here if you need me._

Tami looked to the woman in shock. She had drawn Red Dead from the list of games you could enter into, but she didn't expect to meet any of the characters so soon. She didn't expect them to look so life like either. Mary Beth looked so real. As if she were a real woman. It made her curious. Without thinking about it, Tami stood up and wobbled on her feet. Mary Beth stepped forward and grabbed her before she fell.

"Who there. Don't stumble 'round, now." Her voice was sweet and soft. So real and everything Tami could remember from before. Mary Beth's hands were warm and sturdy as she held Tami. It was as if Mary Beth had a real beating heart under her skin. Tami noted the soft pulse coming from the other woman. The strange feeling was not lost and made Tami turn her head in wonder. They had really thought of everything.

"Ah, thanks." Tami finally managed to say. Her voice was normal to her own ears, but felt foreign in this new place. Mary Beth let go once Tami was stable enough to stand on her own feet.

"Take a few steps, slowly." Mary Beth spoke and held her arms out in case Tami fell again. Her feet drug against the grass as she slowly started to hobble. Legs acting like they were weighed down. Mary Beth smiled encouragingly and took a step back. Tami followed slowly. Her weight becoming lighter as her body responded in a more positive way. In a few more steps she was able to lower her hands back to her sides.

"Look at you!" Mary Beth beamed.

"This is super weird." Tami breathed and reached out to Mary Beth. The other women raised an eyebrow but stood still. Fingers brushed exposed collarbone slowly. Warmth radiated between the skin contact. Goosebumps raised from Mary Beth's neck as Tami's thumb brushed against her throat. Once again, she was able to feel a steady pulse.

"Would you like to get dressed now?" Mary Beth asked making Tami look down to see she was completely bare. Flustered and suddenly shy, Tami raised her arms to cover her nude body. Mary Beth just smiled softly and moved to show a mirror with a stood and a book in front of it.

"This isn't being livestreamed right?" Tami muttered lowly. Her hands reached out to the book and something flashed in front of her eyes. It was disorientating. As if thousands of rows of code suddenly appeared in her mind for a few seconds. Something warm and wet dripped from her nose. Fingers shook as she wiped the crimson blood away from her nose.

_Just a reaction to the loading screen. This error has been noted. Everything is fine on this end._

The voice came as a loud static shock into her ears. Warmth trickled down the sides of her face, "Get me out." Tami muttered softly, "Get me out!"

A hand grabbed her shoulder tightly. Her head whipped around to see the older looking face of a man for a few seconds. A scar going down his leering eyes. Stringy grey hair and cruel smile, "Seem's I've caught a…."

"Would you like to get dressed now?" The face instantly warped back into Mary Beth's. The grip on her shoulder loosened, "You need to calm down…." Her nails started to dig into Tami's shoulder, "I'll have you girl…" The voice distorted and started to fade away. His laugh, that dirty laugh of a cruel, cold man followed her into the tunnel of darkness.

* * *

Mateo sat Tami up slowly. He brought a can to her lips where she promptly threw up, "You're back now. It was just a glitch. It happens and we are already working on it. Breath."

Her body shook from the shock of being torn out of the simulation too soon. She looked around the room and winced at the way the lights hit her eyes. It was too harsh, as if everything was too focused now. A fan was spinning overhead causing a gush of cold air to hit her body. The top of the Cocoon was laying on the ground at her feet. A short mousy haired woman was working the wires from Tami's body.

"Let's get you someplace to rest up. You won't be able to go back in for at least eight hours after such a violent reaction." Mateo spoke and gently forced Tami to her feet. The white thin clothing around her breasts and pelvis were the only things keeping her covered. They bunched as she stood and started stumbling through the room with the help of Mateo.

"I'm sorry." She murmured softly. Her eyes kept to her feet hoping it would help keep the room from spinning so badly. A warm wet rag slowly ran over her nose and up her cheeks. Her eyes looked to the tech and saw blood coming back onto the rag itself.

"No, this wasn't your fault. It was just a bug. You see we've tried to give the AI as much freedom as we could. Allowed the generator the voices and lines from the game to come up with responses to your questions. Something happened that wasn't supposed to. But that's what you're supposed to find. I'd say you did a damn good job today." Mateo rubbed her back and helped lead her down a corridor of rooms.

Each door held the mirror image of the room they had just left inside. Another contestant inside their own Cocoon, and chosen game. Eventually those in an online capable game should be able to connect to one another. That wouldn't be for a while. A door to their left opened and another Guide and their Contestant walked out.

Tami looked up and smiled softly to Jenna. The other woman had been chosen to test just a few hours after Tami, and since they shared a game, they shared living space.

Jenna frowned and shook her head, "You saw him too."

"I saw him, I don't know who is was tho." Tami grabbed onto Jenna and the two started a slow walk down the hallways followed closely by their Guides.

"You didn't recognize him?" Jenna asked while breathing deeply.

"No? Who was he?" Tami shook her head and instantly regretted it. Nausea racked her body in vicious waves.

"Tami, that was Colm O'Driscoll."

Tami stood in front of the Cocoon bright and early the next day. Her hands balled into fists over the nightmares of the O'Driscoll leader and his cruel laughter. She barely heard the criteria Mateo was going over just next to her. A snap of fingers next to her ears made her jump.

"I'm going to assume you didn't hear me. Since the clothing menu is bugged for now, we have a preset outfit chosen for you. Very basic for now until we can get you something more to your tastes. Mary Beth's AI has been disabled for now, since we aren't fully sure if it's the menu by itself or Mary Beth included. So, we've chosen a separate AI for you to train with today." Mateo looked up from his tablet and raised his eyebrows to Tami. He watched her blank expression as she once again looked over the white interior of her room. Everything was white, except the black Cocoon in the middle of the room.

"Hey." Mateo gripped her shoulder lightly, "The medical staff has cleared you for this, but I want to make sure you're okay. You still have a few weeks until we start live streaming the content. You can leave any time before that."

Tami took in a deep breath and pulled on the skimpy white clothing she was forced to wear, "No, I'm fine. Let's go."

It was hard for her to stay still while the wires were taped into her body again. The small plastic tube she was supposed to keep in her arm was attached to a iv bag hanging just a few inches away. The helmet fit over her face snugly, and she could feel the straps being placed over her body. In no time the heavy thud of the top of the Cocoon was over her again. It's soft humming started to breath through her body. A wisp of warmth caressed her skin as the air started to feel thick, like the pleasant weight of a heavy blanket.

_Entry in three… two… one…_

Tami wished she could say there was a wave of colors and stars like the movies. She wished she could say it was like entering the strangest environment she had ever seen; however, reality is often disappointing. It was just black. New sound was first to meet her ears. It was like the buzzing from a speaker. From the plastic insert where the iv was connected came a cooling sensation. Her mind swarmed as a light started in the tiny screen in front of her eyes.

The sound started to grow more prevalent. Cawing of birds and whispering of moving grass surrounded her. The screen in front of her eyes expanded and wrapped around her body, bathing her in the bright light of morning sun.

"Finally, you're awake."

Tami looked for the new voice. Her body felt heavy like the time before, but this time she was able to stand up by herself. A knee to the ground and a foot propped onto sturdy land. Her hand pressed on the jean clad leg as she pressed hard and stood up with a grunt. The white button up shirt pulled from where it was tucked into the jeans. A plain black vest slid back into place. Her fingers pushed back a strand of loose hair and felt the lazy bun her hair was pulled into. Basic brown boots sat on her feet. Mateo was right everything was pretty plain, but it was as if it was grafted perfectly to her body.

"You ignorin' me now?" The man's voice was gruff and a bit impatient. Tami snapped her neck to see Arthur Morgan leaning against a tree near her. Leaves rattled amongst each other as a cool breeze broke through the sky.

"No… I… Sorry… what?" Tami was stammering for a moment. As with Mary Beth he looked so real. As if he were a real man, and not a character from a video game. Every line on his face down to the bend of his limbs was utterly lifelike. She watched his adams apple bob on his gullet as he swallowed a bit impatiently.

"You asked me to teach you how to shoot. I ain't out here to watch you stand 'round." Arthur huffed with attitude.

"I don't need that talk, cowboy." Tami spit out a bit harshly. His eyebrows grew together in frustration.

"Look I can go back to camp and leave you out here if you like." He stood up and moved to walk away.

"No, wait. I… Just teach me how to shoot. It's what your programmed to do, right?" Tami asked.

Arthur turned around and brought his hands together, "Look sweetheart, I dono what programmed means, but I'm doin' this out of the kindness of my heart. You can do it all by yourself if you want to act all high 'n mighty like." His face grew hard with attitude.

"Look, my bad. Okay? Just please." Tami sighed and felt weird. Begging a damn AI to do what it was already supposed to do felt weird.

"Hold this then." He sighed and handed her a revolver. It was small and basic. Cattleman was its name, if she remembered that properly. Though small it had heft to it. It felt real, down to the groves in the metal. It was so strange she had to remind herself this wasn't real, "Shoot at the bottles."

"What bottle…" Before she could finish a sharp light came into her eyes again. Several lines of code rushed past her eyes for a second, and then they were in a canyon. Bottles lined the stone in front of them. Tami instantly whipped around. The lush forest had turned into a desert of sorts. A few dirt paths were dug into the ground a few feet away.

"Well?" He asked making her turn to him. As the light glared down onto his face, she found herself studying his emerald green eyes and sandy blond hair. Each strand of hair fell like real hair, and his eyes sparkled as if they were real. The iris was the only thing she found that was strange. It didn't change size like normal eyes would. He sighed yet again and she looked at the bottles.

_Sorry for Arthur's attitude. We're going to try and change it for the rest of the test._

Her right hand grasped the metal and she brought it up to shoot barely hearing Mateo's voice in her mind.

"You're gonna break your arm with that form." Arthur sighed yet again. He took her arm in his hands and moved it into position. She glanced at the callouses along his hands for a few seconds before returning her gaze to the bottles.

"Shoot three out of five to continue." Arthur spoke, but sounded suddenly stiff. His words didn't flow like a normal person this time. Instead it sounded almost computer generated. Tami shook off the sudden strangeness and shot. Her muscles acted on their own. As if she had been shooting for a hundred years. Her eyes gauged the distance and bullet fall in one fell swoop, and the pull of the trigger was easy. The glass shattered and she smiled. Her eyes went to Arthurs in excitement.

"I did it! I actually did it!" She shouted in excitement.

The character from Arthur faded away. He looked less human and more computer generated, "Shoot three out of five to continue." Tami raised her eyebrows and watched as he looked at with a glassy expression. As if whoever he was, was forced deep into his own skin. Tami pulled her eyes away and shot a second bottle easily. She couldn't shake the strange image in his eyes just below the gloss. Like a tiger enraged at it's capture. With a wave of her hand she shot the third bottle. In that second, she swore she saw Arthur slightly smirk, but when she turned, he was standing as still as before.

"This is a Repeater. Shoot three out of the five bottles to continue." He said while handing her a second gun. Something rushed into her mind. Knowledge she didn't seem to have before. The gun fit easily into her hands. Body taking on a posture as if it had known it before. For a test she held it wrong on purpose. Her eyes glanced to Arthur. She watched his hands twitch, but he stood absolutely still. Something bugged her harshly. This felt wrong. Oh so very wrong.

* * *

A full week had passed where Tami was tested on her abilities in the game. As Mateo had put it, they would be able to simply slip these skills into the player's character before they entered the game after testing was over. For now, they were using her to see how easily they could slip her the information, and if any of the information was wrong or bugged. Tami didn't mind. She had seen a handful of different gang characters already. They slipped her hints, and helped teach her. The characters with more attitude were subdued by the admins of the game. It felt wrong to Tami to watch their attitudes go from human to robotic. She knew they weren't real, but it felt like some sort of twisted version of lobotomy.

"Today's the day!" Mateo was eagerly typing away as she was put into the machine yet again, "We're going to introduce you to the game a little earlier than Blackwater so you can explore and get used to the world with more than one AI at a time. You'll own a small shack and house to start. Good luck!" Tami smiled and laid back into the helmet. She was as excited as he sounded. Though a small nagging feeling in her gut twisted sharply for a few seconds. Tami was too excited to worry about the small red letters that appeared for a few seconds in front of her eyes. A few stood out to her but didn't make much sense anyway. Tami fell into the simulation in a peaceful daze as before.

Just outside the admins were going crazy. A man was bent over the ever-ringing phone and spoke into it hurriedly. One admin kept pressing revive on his screen, but the contestant's avatar remained dead. A separate admin made the decision to pull the contestant from the simulation. The admin on the phone dropped the receiver and gasped, "Stop! Don't pull anyone else out. I just got a call from the facility in Georgia. Their all dead. Whatever this is, is effecting them too."

A guide slammed the door open, "She's dead!" The admin's looked amongst each other and sat with ice in their veins. Different screens started flooding with red as contestants died in game. And, it turned out, in the real world as well. A red code flashed on all of their screens for a few seconds before the computers fully shut down.

_**Error: 56738 /Catastrophic Recall Error/**_


	3. Trial By Frustration

Tami sat on the sand in front of her tiny shack. She had been running around for half a day already. Or what felt like half a day. The sun was growing low in the sky and the water was peaceful, but slightly boring to be honest. The bay horse she named, Balefire, sat grazing just behind her. She hadn't heard from Mateo all day, but she was only exploring for now so she didn't suppose he needed to talk to her about anything just yet.

It wasn't until a strange naked man appeared in front of her that she had the inkling that something was wrong. He stood in a basic T-pose and opened his mouth. A voice poured from the open hold, yet his lips never moved.

"This is an important message from Rockstar. Due to an unknown error, we are unable to return Contestant's to a normal state. Please note to take extra care while playing the game. Do not put yourselves into any danger as injuries will be permanent until we are able to fix the problem. Stay put and wait for our next message. Stay safe, and enjoy your experience."

As suddenly as he appeared the man disappeared. Tami sat with a cold feeling in her gut. Injures would be permanent? Her body turned into solid ice. That didn't mean if she died in game she would die in real life... Right?

Her body shook as a harsh reality hit her. She was now alone in a world that she didn't know. Weather she was prepared or not wasn't the question because of her digital training. Her mannerisms, way of life, and social ideals were far ahead of the time she found herself stuck in. The shack behind her didn't even have running water.

As the sun started to wave its goodbye across the landscape, Tami found herself swallowed by the darkness of the world. The chill of night started to creep into her bones as a thick fog rolled over the tiny lake. It was only when her shivering didn't seem to end that she ran into the shack and grasped desperately for a box of matches. Thick wooden splinters met her fingers. They were old and fragile, but it lit on the first try. Her eyes scanned in desperation for something to light.

An old, rusted oil lamp sat on a decrepit table in the corner. Tami's hands shook as she attempted to light the wick as fast as she could. Before the fire could transfer it bit into her thumb harshly. With a yelp, Tami dropped the match and watched it die at her feet. A well of tears threatened to fall from her eyes in frustration.

She placed the balls of her hands to her eyes and took in a shaky breath. This was possibly a test. Possibly they were seeing how well she would do on her own. They wouldn't really leave her to fend for herself, or truly get hurt in this place. Maybe it was another glitch she had found and they would patch it as soon as they could. That must have been it. She would be home in no time. Her mind grasped in desperation at anything that would make sense.

After a moment of collecting her thoughts, Tami moved to light another match. She didn't notice the slow prowl of the moonlight entering the shack through it's cracks. Wind started a gentle dance to push the cold into her makeshift protection. When the second match lit the fire waned quickly. Her hands shook as she pressed it against the wick in a desperate attempt for some sort of light.

Tami let out a soft cry of happiness as the lamp roared to life. Glass was lowered back into place with shaky fingers to help protect the fragile flame. Tami was finally able to see her surroundings. The wooden door still lay open, exposing the deep eyes of Balefire looking into her shack. Just to her right was a small wooden shelving unit. Cans lay strewn about with a few packs of crackers, two packs of cigarettes, and a bottle of liquor. On the opposite wall to her, lay a simple wooden bed. It looked like a health hazard, but at least had a thin pillow and a simple threaded blanket. In the back of her mind Tami wished for her phone. Even for a few minutes to maybe not feel so damn lonely. Her tummy grumbled in need reminding her of the food just within her grasp.

The disappointing meal of canned peaches and roll of dry crackers left Tami feeling full yet dissatisfied. Her dry mouth eagerly drank the left-over juice from the peaches in earnest. With her belly sated she supposed it would be time to try and sleep while it was dark. Could she even sleep in a simulation?

With the blowing wind and nickering horse outside, Tami tried to get some sleep. Her vest poked into her body a little painfully, but the cool air was barley kept away by what little clothing and blankets she had. Her eyes trained to the licking flame of the oil lamp as her mind raced. Thankfully her body was weary of her hiking and exploration from the day. Sleep came as a saving grace easily.

_Wake up._

Tami's eyes snapped open at the familiar accent in her mind, "Mateo?" She asked sitting up quickly. Disorientation hit her hard. She was still in the shack covered in a soft layer of dew. The lamp was long extinguished as its tiny storage of oil was used, "What the hell?"

_I don't have long. This connection won't last long. We're going to try and pull you out._

His words barely registered over the searing pain through her body. The sound of blood in har ears rushed as something restricted her windpipe. It took her a few seconds to realize it was her own fingers clawing at her throat, desperate for air. Hot thick blood started to pour from her nose as red code flashed into her eyes. Fear tore into her body like a hot knife. She could vaguely hear the sound of an alarm. In the corner of her eyes she saw complete darkness as the world attempted to shrink back into a tiny square shape in the very front of her eyes. When the world snapped back into full view and air rushed into her lungs, Tami fell off of the bed and onto her knees.

Body racking with coughs as the floor started to collect the crimson blood coming from her nose. The raw feeling of her throat and lungs made her realize how real this threat was. Fat tears flowed down her face and mixed with the pool of blood on her chin.

_I'm so sorry… I don't… Tami._

"Don't." She tried to sound angry, but her voice sounded horse. The lack of oxygen to her body took its toll. She was weak and tired, her mind fuzzy, and vision swimming. Pleasant air filled her mouth and lungs slowly as she tried to control her breathing.

_We can't… we can't get you out. Listen to me. There's a failsafe in the game file. If you finish the game it will release you without any tampering from us._

"I noticed." Tami snapped weakly. She wiped her face as best as she could and grabbed the blanket still wrapped around her legs to hold against her nose, "What now?"

_Take these at least. We can't do much more without risking hurting you again. We're trying to mess with the files. Make the Van Der Linde's more likely to be friendly to you. Use it to end the game if all else fails._

Tami watched as a revolver and bow appeared out of thin air on the table next to the lamp. A set of arrows appeared on the floor next to the table with an ammo box, a wooden fishing rod, and black leather satchel. Her free hand reached into the satchel and found a few contents. A bottle of tonic, a large money clip, and a few sets of dried jerky lay inside.

_Tami find…. Go to…. You can…_

His voice was wavering in and out. If she listened hard enough, she swore she could hear static with it, "Mateo?"

_So…y…Ta…Yo….._

**Silence**

Tami never felt as alone in her life as she did now. Whatever attachment she had to the outside world was fully gone now. That didn't mean she couldn't try, "MATEO!" She screamed out. Scrambling to her feet she burst through the door of her shack and ran outside.

The beautiful fall morning was in full swing. Leaves from the few trees surrounding her littered the ground. Birds flew overhead, and small animals that were nearby ran into the brush. Across the lake a few pronghorns looked up to the strange commotion coming from the woman. A fish jumped into the air and slapped the water harshly as it fell back down.

Tami didn't notice any of it, "Mateo, please. I'm sorry for being angry." She pleaded to the sky, "I'll do anything, please!" The cry came from her voice in a broken tone. Her knees hit the ground in a painful thump, "Please..." She whispered and dipped her head.

It was hours later that Tami finally rose from her spot. Her legs were stiff, and her body ached. The raw feeling in her throat and lungs thrummed harshly. A large clump of black hair had broken free and fell into her face. With a sigh she pulled the rubber band out of her hair with much groaning and tried to run her fingers through the tangled hair. A strange task for what had just happened to her in all honesty.

When Balefire nuzzled her side, Tami squealed in shock. The bay stallion rubbed its heavy head against her side, and looked at her with its deep eyes. Shaky hands ran through its mane. A sense of peace and comfort washed over Tami. She wasn't fully alone. Not anymore.

* * *

It had been a week. A week of hell and forced isolation. Due to her advantage in the world, hunting and fishing came easy. Boiled water was fairly easy to find out, and the metal canteen that held it was a life saver. She now had a good stack of small animal hide, and herbs from bored forging. Tami needed supplies she could gather. New clothes, a brush, and even soap. She was going to be forced to introduce herself to the nearest settlement she knew of. It was a strange knowledge she held within herself. The knowledge of every road, train tracks, towns, and even farms was instilled into her mind like a mental map.

Balefire was loyal in his following of her. He was patient as she learned how to pull off his saddle and clean him with an old horse brush tucked away in his satchel. He even nipped at her hair playfully when she was falling into one of her pits of sadness. For now, he was everything she had in this world.

"What do you say boy?" she asked gently. Her slim fingers worked at the tangled in his mane as gently as she could, "Would you like to do into town. Ill get you some nice oats." Her words caused his big ears to shift around. Worry was whispering sweet nothings into her ears. The chance of being attacked on the road, or attacked by a man in this time was so much greater than anything she had ever experienced before. The memory of not being able to breath came to mind. It horrified her and caused her nightmares. Every second was spent not knowing when she would die.

Try as she might, she couldn't hide away anymore. Tami needed to reach out to the outside world. Well, if it could be considered that. Even if she could simply live off of the land she wasn't equipped or adapted enough to make her own clothing. So, she was off.

Balefire trotted lazily down a crooked dirt path with Tami on his back. Her bum was already sore from the travel and she contemplated walking; however, she knew her steps were much shorter in stride and would take at least a day to get into town. A small injury such as a blister on her feet could be deadly in this time as well. It was easy to justify simply riding into town even with a sore bum.

The heavy saddlebag was absolutely stuffed with hide, herbs, and raw meat she didn't know how to dry or cure. Her satchel held half of everything in it before, and she only took a hundred dollars into town leaving the other four hundred in a hole she made in the mattress. Dirty clothes made her itch every so often, and the gun belt that was slung around her hips poked her a few times as she shifted in pain again.

Blackwater came into view slowly. A large plantation house on the outskirts stood tall, and had a few men talking just outside of it. They eyed the new person with interest. Her black hair was in a simple pony tail, but severely out of date for current fashion. Clothes dirty and bunched with a mixture of old blood and dirt. Her legs straddled the horse much like a man, and not the saddle side nature that was common for women. It was clear she was either down on her luck and not from around here.

People stared as she entered town and headed straight for the butcher. Whispering and gossiping already started about the new woman in town. Unaccompanied and clearly a little different. Little did Tami know; she was already making a name for herself.

A bloody and grimy man was in the middle of carving a deer when she approached him. He eyed her up and down, but keen to make a sale he wiped his hands and approached the stall. She was short in stature and a bit disheveled, but a small smile made him relax at her warm introduction, "Excuse me, do you buy hide and meat?"

"Depends." He drawled slowly. His eyes flocked to her unappropriated attire. The clothing hugged her body in ways that made a man's mind grow wicked. When she turned and laid the pile of hide and meat on the counter he snorted. The quality wasn't the best, but he could fetch a sum for it. He would have to undercut her a lot to make a profit, "Ten bucks for the lot." He offered while thumbing through the hide.

Tami didn't know how to haggle and just wrung her hands a little, "Sure."

The man bent over the counter and a metal clink sounded. In a few more moments he pawed ten dollars onto the stall and took the items away. Tami thumbed her new money and looked around, "Uh, thanks." He snorted and returned to his work with nothing else to say.

She made it to the clothing store first. This man was a little more refined, but showed the same disinterest in the strange woman. Until she pulled out her money clip that was. Once her wealth had been established, he warmed up to her pretty quickly. When it was said and done Tami left with four new basic colored button up shirts, three basic black vests, a heavy denim and fur jacket, a new pair of light brown boots, and a few pairs of jeans. By the time she made it to the general store her confidence was significantly boosted.

She had a clutch on a small number of items. When she reached for a brush with a silver handle her fingers touched someone else's hand, "Oh, sorry." She squeaked and pulled her hand back.

"No worries, my dear."

"It's you." She breathed out in awe. His deep brown eyes were more handsome than anything she could have imagined. The thousand-dollar smile that graced his lips and bunched his mustache made her heart beat erratically. Every chiseled line of his face was perfect and so close to hers, "Dutch." His name felt so weird on her lips as he was real in front of her.

"Sorry, who are you?" He cocked an eyebrow down at the star struck girl. He looked her up and down and lifted his chin.

"Uh, no one." Tami took a step back and felt her ankle twist. She closed her eyes and prepared for the fall. When it didn't come, she looked to see his hand wrapped around her arm in a steal like grip.

"Forgive me for saying, but I don't believe you." He spoke lowly and pulled her back to stand close to him. Another man appeared to her side and looked down at her with a glare. Bill was more imposing and menacing in person. His deep eyes and scowl made her blood run cold, "I believe we need to talk. You see my name isn't known to my face so well around here. I've taken great care of that. So, I'll ask again, who are you?" his voice was like a thin blade. It was warm with an undertone of threat.

"I'm… I'm…" Tami's eyes flipped around wildly. She could see a large unknown man talking to the store clerk and keeping him very busy. Once again, she looked around and set on a bottle of miracle tonic. A plan brewed in her mind.

Dutch pulled her closer to her and placed his lips at her ear, "I'm not as patient as I seem, my dear." He growled lowly.

"You won't believe me anyway. No one does. Why I lost my place in the circus." She felt stupid once the words left her mind, but Dutch pulled back and now looked at her with more question than anger.

"No time like the present. I'll decide for myself if I believe you." He nodded to Bill. The other man took a few steps back and left more breathing room for Tami. Dutch leaned back and let go of her arm.

"Well, when I touch people, I can see things. A little of their past and a little of their future. I just heard her call to you." His eyebrows shot into his hairline in surprise, "Eyes as beautiful as winter morning, and hair a beautiful gold river. She loved you with such power. Her name was… Annabelle." Tami watched as he gave a soft gasp. Someone approached from behind and she whipped her head around. The clerk was standing a bit straight and looked at them harshly.

"Are they bothering you miss? Didn't seem to come in with you.'' He stood straight and tried to puff out his chest. Tami gave a smile and soft laugh.

"This is an old friend of mine, no worries. But thank you." She reached over and placed a soft hand to the clerk's shoulder. He nodded once but retreated very slowly.

"If I believe you?" Dutch asked from behind her. He was shaken enough for it to show in his eyes.

"Many don't, sir." She replied with a bowed head, "As I said before, its why I lost my job."

Dutch nodded to Bill and pointed at her, "Touch her hand." He ordered. Tami reached out with a shaky hand and felt Bill's fingers curl around hers a bit harshly.

"Your name is Marion Williamson. Former army man of the… 15th platoon if I'm not mistaken. Formattable fighter, very brave in your fight against Native Americans. Thank you for your service." Bill snapped his hand back and looked at Dutch with a mixture of awe and fear. A smile formed once again on Dutch's face.

"You don't look like you have a very stable life. If I may say." Dutch offered in a sweet honey voice. He waved his hand over her, "I don't mean to offend." He followed up when she didn't respond.

"Well, no… not quite. I've been holed up in a shack lately. I'm lost here." She was hopefully playing him as much as he thought he was playing her.

"No family?" He pried with vigor. She watched his stance change into a softer more approachable one. His eyes softened to give his face a more approachable look. Tami took in a shaky breath. He wasn't insane yet. She supposed he would think better than to just kill her. If he was still here than the Blackwater incident hadn't happened yet. Possibly she had some hope. Maybe she could get a safer place to stay while she waited for extraction.

"I'm an orphan, sir. The only mother I had died a while back." Tami watched his smile grow in size.

"I may have an offer for you. You see we have a safe place. Women there as well. Respected well, might I add. Isn't that so, Bill?" He looked up and Bill nodded slightly. His face was showing his boredom in the situation, but he made an effort to smile somewhat nicely, "It seems your talent may be something we could use. That is, if you're willing to join us."

Tami held in a breath. It was as if everything was fully working for her. Even so, her skittish nature made her weary of the offer. The camp would be a safe place, and she did have a mission to follow at least. She had time to build ally's and relationships to ensure her own safety. That's what she had to focus on for now. Her own safety.

"Alright, but I do require a few things."

"I'm offering you a place and you're…"

"If you value freedom and liberties as much as I know you do. You'll let me say my peace and not walk in like a slave." Tami tried her best to sound self-assured. Dutch looked bemused and even gave a soft laugh.

"I don't even know your name." He countered weakly.

She slid her hand in offering, "Tami… Tami Jackson." He grasped it and shook it firmly.

"Alright Miss Jackson. I'll hear your 'request'."

A soft smile spread across her lips. Possibly everything would work out in her favor and she could get the hell out of here before everything turned to shit, "I have enough money to buy my own way for a while. Possibly even enough to get a decent place to sleep, but I would like my own space. Byproduct of being on my own for so long I suppose."

"Well, we all share..." Bill started in a nasty tone, but Dutch brought his hand up.

"That can be arranged. We can offer protection in exchange for your services. Hopefully that sounds a little more like liberties than slavery to you." She tried to ignore the slight catch in his tone. Tami would have to do this. She had to step into the light and take control, or risk staying here to die come winter or sickness.

"How does this work?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"We can follow you back to where you live so you can pack up. We will allow you to use our horses to carry what we can back to our camp. You would be one of us. I am going to warn you…"

"You're wanted men?" She asked with a sly smile. Dutch opened his eyes wide in shock, "Come now? Didn't forget already?" She teased softly, "Trust me, walking amongst dangerous beings is a pastime in my life. I have a gift that was already used to swindle coin. I know how to play the game. Besides if you were so bad, I'd already be dead."

Dutch rubbed his chin and gave a grin in response, "I think you will do well with us if I say so."

"Now if you'll excuse me for a moment. I need to purchase my items. I'll join you outside. I would appreciate your help in retrieving what little I have left." Tami spoke with a gentle smile and turned on her heels.

"We will be waiting." Dutch offered behind her.

A feeling of fear and apprehension crossed Tami. She had to fight it away. If she was going to survive this, she had to take a risk. Even as her hands shook, and her soul told her to run. Tami was going to beat this damn game and go home. Resolve slowly filled the place where fear had settled in her chest. Tami was going to survive no matter the cost.

* * *

"Not quite what I expected when you said we were going to look for a lead in the missing necklace, Dutch" Bill spoke from the back of the pack. Tami hummed in response and shrugged a little from her place at the front.

"We have time for that later." Dutch offered in a cheery tone from the middle. They were taking their time going back to the shack. Tami was good and bored. Her mind was having a hard time focusing during the long ride back. She desperately wanted to check her social media feed. The addiction for technology was making her fingers itch. She didn't even have a damn book to read. Tami was desperately trying to fight the twisting feeling in her gut. In all of her fantasies of being in the gang she never took into account the very real penalty in it. Sure the men were laid back for the moment, but she knew what was to come and it terrified her.

"There it is." Tami interrupted whatever conversation they were having for the moment. She started to blush at how terrible the wooden shack looked. Dutch's mouth set into a hard line as Bill let out a short bark of a laugh.

"Well, shouldn't take long." Bill started in first.

"Bill wait. Let the lady settle her things before we go in there." Dutch tutted a little in disappointment.

"Give a me a moment, please." Tami dismounted and went into the shack. Her hand felt for the money in the mattress and she pushed it into her bag. The bow and arrows were slung over her shoulders and she took one last look inside. It was nearly bare as the food was all gone by now. The lingering smell of blood and sweat filled the area. It was bittersweet in a way. It wasn't much, but it had been her protection in this new world. Her guardian in a time of need. Her fingers touched the old wood. Something caught in her throat and her lungs squeezed without air like before.

_Listen closely. I won't ever be able to contact you after this. I'm already putting you in danger. We're here. Watching you, we won't abandon you. I see what you're doing and were going to give you one last thing. You have an admin code in your avatar. From now on when you touch someone you can tell everything about that character. Use it well. Be safe._

She closed her eyes and took in a sweet breath of air, "Mateo?" Silence answered her whispered prayer. Hands shook as a tear threatened to spill, "I just wanted to say, thank you. For looking after me. I know what I have to do, but I don't want to." She closed her eyes and shook her head, "I haven't had it easy in life all that I ask is that you watch after me. Please don't let me die."

_"I haven't had it easy in life all that I ask is that you watch after me. Please don't let me die."_

Dutch was walking to the shack to make sure she wasn't going to pull anything funny on them. He rubbed his chin at the wobble in her voice. Sadness came from a deep place in her soul. It might have been a chance meeting, but it seemed it would be the better for both parties involved. Her soft sob made him take in a breath. Was he using her? Sure. The talents she possessed bordered on witchcraft, but used in the right ways she could provide valuable information on anyone they wished. That woman inside was still hurting, and more than willing to join them. He needed to make sure she was treated like his own.


	4. Claws Of The Wolf

Camp was a light with people by the time they had arrived. Tami didn't recognize this specific spot, but it was so much bigger and better than she had ever seen. The tents were nearly twice the size as she remembered. The cloth stretching far over each tent to encase it in shaded protection.

A large lean to housed a good sized fire pit with an oversized pot. Dried meat hunt out in front of the lean to along side herbs and berries. A long table sat on its furthest wall and was home to many supplies including a cleaver and cutting bored.

A covered wagon held an unhealthy amount of weapons. Large shotguns, silver repeaters, a few bows propped in the front, and a mountain of ammo stacked in the middle. Next to it was a similar covered wagon with a large amount of tonic and herbs. Tami assumed it must be a medical wagon.

In the center was a few tables and chairs set up. Cow hide lines the ground underneath it. To the left of the tables was a smaller scout fire surrounded by fallen logs. Each tent had a personal touch from its occupants hanging on the wooden staves that held it up. It was easy to tell who was in which tent.

Wild land stretched for miles all around the occupied land. Long enough to see anyone coming for miles. A few trees and cacti stood among the sandstone and sparse grass. The back of camp was against a large canyon providing ample protection from anyone trying to sneak up into the back of camp.

The occupants of the camp looked up to see the new arrivals. Tami instantly blushes under their gaze. It was different to be face to face with so many people she knew so well. It was also strange to see them as human beings instead of an image on a screen. After dismounting, Bill took the reigns of Balefire and motioned for Tami to follow Dutch into camp.

She eyed the shiny guns that were pulled as a new face entered camp. While they weren't pointing at her directly, she knew the threat of death if she were to try anything was real. Dutch put a reassuring hand on her shoulder and lead her past the stoic Charles. He stood with broad shoulders and very watchful gaze.

Her eyes shifted around camp to see everyone she recognized. Surprisingly a few faces she didn't know at all as well.

"Gather around everyone. I want to introduce this young lady properly!"

Muttering began around camp as others started to come out of tents to gaze at her. Tami had always thought the gang was a bit small compared to the world around them, but once they started to form a crowd in front of her she shrunk against the onslaught of eyes.

The women were unabashed as they looked her over. Hands covered mouths as they gossiped to one another. A smaller Jack pushed his way to the front and eyes her curiously as his mother hovered just a little behind him. The men were still defensive in their stances. Guns drawn and muscles bunched in preparation.

"This here is Miss Tami Jackson. She will be joining for a while. Make her feel at home. I would appreciate it if everyone introduced her during the day, and let her get acquainted with our humble camp." Everyone was hanging onto Dutch's every word as he spoke. Even Tami felt enthralled at his command of the English language. It was easy to fall and slip into his voice as he spoke. The promise of a deep conversation, and insightful wisdom hung onto his every word, "Miss Grimshaw. A word please."

Tami wanted to reach out for Dutch as he left. The merger protection she knew his presence offered slipped away as he walked to a more secluded place with Susan at his heels. She stood there for a moment as if frozen still. The crowd was still looking at her with interest. A small woman broke free from the others and made her way forward with a large smile. The woman was unknown to Tami, but her warm smile made the new gang member relax a little.

"Hi my name's Jenny." She spoke with a slight accent in her voice. It was hard to pick out and very faint. Blond hair was up in a tight little bun, and hazel eyes sparkled with excitement. Tami felt her heart wretch at knowing this woman's fate.

Jenny offered a hand to shake and Tami took it without thought. Something ticketed the back of Tami's mind gently as a small vision appeared before her. She watched Jenny fall to the ground with surprise in her eyes. Blood spilled from her chest and down onto a brown dress in a large waterfall. A slip of blood started to pour from the side of her mouth as a cry escaped her. Tami jerked her hand back as if in pain and furrowed her eyebrows. The imagery was too real and sickened her to the very core.

"Nice to meet you." Tami spoke in a wavering tone. She watched confusion flash over Jenny's face for a moment before the smile returned. Tami was unsure if she was supposed to tell the other members of camp of her talents. Dutch hadn't done so, and she didn't know if that was a sign to keep it quiet.

"Come with me. I know the girls are during to meet you." Tami flinched a little as Jenny took her arm. She shook as she waited for another vision to take hold; however, it didn't even bother her this time. She looked to see Jenny's fingers touching the fabric of the dirty shirt. Her mind already started to work on a solution to her newfound 'gift'.

Jenny pulled Tami past the crowd and to a small area hidden between the tents. What looked like deer hide was stretched over the ground and a few books lay in a pile. A set of sewing and knitting were laying neatly to the side of the books. A few more sets of footsteps followed Jenny and Tami to the little area.

"Have you eaten today? If not lunch will be soon. Peterson makes the food 'round here. It ain't the best, but it's better than starvin'." Jenny spoke while waving a hand for Tami to sit.

"No I haven't eaten yet. But uh... I uh... I have new clothes. I got them today. I feel very dirty in this." Tami pulled at the stained clothing.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'm assuming Dutch is talkin' to Susan 'bout that. You see, they don't like us goin' into town all my our lonesome. We usually have one of the men take us." Mary Beth's voice from behind nearly made Tami shit her pants. She flipped around and came face to face with Mary Beth, Tilly, Abigail, and even Molly. The small band of women let out low chuckles at Tami's expense.

"Uh, hi." Tami fumbled with her hands awkwardly, "Well, you see we've just come back from Blackwater. I'm not sure a trip into town will be so soon."

"Don't fret too much about that. We have a small gathering of bath water. It won't be very satisfying, but you'll be clean." Tilly spoke up in a soft voice. Her smile was like two rose pedals floating on a glass of beautiful ivory.

"I will let you borrow my bar of soap if you need it." Abigail offered from the back, "I know how it feels to need a good scrub." She looked exhausted. Blue spots under her eyes stained the otherwise flawless skin. Her fingers were clutching in uncertainty. Tami felt herself relax a bit more. It seemed she wasn't the only one riddled with nerves.

"Not meaning to be rude, but why did Dutch bring you here anyway." Molly's deep accent was different compared to the other women. Even with the richness her words held, her tone fell flat with dissatisfaction. The pretty face twisted into a rather nasty scowl.

Before Tami could reply another woman walked up behind the small gathering, "No need to be rude." Susan spoke in a tone full of authority. The girls jumped in response of the voice. Panic started to foot across the gentler women's faces.

"We were just gettin' aqua red." Mary Beth spoke up in a tone that screamed submission. Tami felt anger boil to her chest. She found herself attempting to take a step to protect the other woman before slumping back into her feet. This wasn't her place or world. She needed to keep her nose clean.

"Not you... You." Susan pointed to Molly. The Irish woman snorted in response and crossed her arms, "Dutch informed me that our new guest has a talent that will benefit us greatly and has offered to lend it to us in exchange for shelter."

"Like Abigail then?" Molly snapped in a cruel tone. The older woman gave a smirk that boarded on homicidal.

"Would you like to test the waters again? I don't mind teaching you this lesson again." Abigail's tone was surprisingly gentle for the threat it hid.

"You wouldn't dare." Molly scoffed in response.

Tami was intrigued at this new interaction between the people in front of her. Like a backstory that was never fully told unfolding before her very eyes. It almost made her forget that she was laying in a dark place covered in wires, and that this was simply her mind trapped in something that was never meant to be real.

"Hush." Grimshaw warned in a lower tone than before. The women's squabble ended shortly, but the glares between them lived a few seconds longer, "Now we aren't to know the specifics just yet. Dutch wants to speak to Tami about that first. I hope you haven't gone off and told a soul yet." Susan now turned her piercing gaze to Tami. She was a beautiful young woman once. That much was clear. Her bone structure showed the promise of a slim and chiseled face with sharp cheekbones and a jawline to die for. However, time wasn't kind as it danced lines into her face and drug scars along with it.

"No, Ma'am." Tami was intimidated by the woman in front of her. Susan stood tall and strong. Her backbone seemed to be forever straight and tall in a proud stance.

"Oh, leave her alone, you old croon." Karen walked from the tent to their left with a scowl on her face. Neck and cheeks tinged a deep pink and alcohol laced her breath, "She's here for a reason, same as all of us."

"I'd hold my tongue if I were you girl." Susan quipped, but looked to the small gathering of women. She took a step back and sniffed a bit, "Once you have her somewhat presentable, bring her to Dutch."

"Should we douse her in pretty clothing and nice perfume?" Molly asked in a snark tone. Tami flinched at her meaning within the words.

"I'm not a whore, Molly O'Shea." Tami stepped forward and grabbed the Irish woman's hand roughly.

She felt pain within Molly. A great pain within the very heart and soul of a woman whose man is never loyal, yet a deep yearning to prove her worth to him. Tami watched as Ireland was exposed to her. The red-haired beauty giggled and felt powerful as she explored her fathers land in freedom. A whistle in her soul of a calling that wasn't simply being a brood mare for a man whom she didn't love.

A new understanding came across Tami for the poor woman. It wasn't as if she was a cruel person, just that her heart was slowly being turned black by the fierce leader, "Neither are you." Tami whispered hollowly.

"Remember the fields of green and the little yellow flowers you adored so much. It's why you always wear the color green. Reminds you of home, doesn't it?" Tami watched as Molly pulled her hand away. Not from anger but from pure shock.

"You… Y… You're bleeding." Molly spoke in a hushed tone. A drip of red fell from Tami's nose and onto the collar of her shirt, "How did you…"

Tami pushed past Molly and wiped her nose harshly. The headache that thrummed behind her ears bordered on debilitating. Her vision warped into a small square shape for a few seconds. A buzzing of electronics kissed her eardrums until her vision came back in full force. Even with the moment of loss, Tami walked on strongly to her horse and dug in its overstuffed bag. Her fingers wrapped around a basic red shirt and jeans. With a sigh she worked on pulling out a black vest as well.

"You got some dip or cigars in that bag too?" An unknown man was leaning against the tree watching with a lowered gaze.

"Never seen a woman wearin' pants before?" Tami replied in a sharp tone. She worked on slipping a bar of soap and basic comb into the satchel on her hip.

"Keep wearin' things like that and somethin' might happen to you." He sniffed and rubbed his fingertips together. Dark brown hair lay to his shoulders in dirty strings. Dark brown eyes were sinking in anger. Pale skin was covered in bruises and sun burns.

"You're one of the Callander boys. Aren't you." It wasn't a question. The man scowled and shrugged.

"I could be."

"Look, me an' you. We work for the same man now. I highly doubt he would take kindly to you throwing threats my way." Tami let out. She was trying to fight off the shaking fear in her body. She had forgotten that these men were a very real threat. Seeing just one of them was horrifying.

"She's got a point Mac." A second man appeared looking similar to the first. He looked a few years older, but kept a cleaner appearance. A slight stubble kissed his own sunburnt skin, "I'm Davey, that's my younger brother Mac. Don't pay too much mind to him. We don't want to risk getting' nearly kicked out again do we?" While the second man was more pleasant to Tami, his stance was anything but kind. His muscles were bunched much like an angry wolf, but he kept calm and even managed a slight smile. With a large hand he turned his brother away from Tami and left her be. For that she was at least a little grateful.

When Tami finally returned to the small shelter with the other women, she found only Tilly to be reading. Her gentle smile was a large relief in such a hostile area. It was hard to remember that Tami needed to stay within the gang and try to finish this with nerves and fear constantly flowing over her.

"Mary Beth has the water warmed and, in the tent, just behind me. I know it's small, but it keeps us modest while we bath." Tilly looked back down to her book, but continued to speak, "And Tami? Welcome to our gang."

* * *

Tami was trying her best to comb out the tangled mess of her hair and put it into a bun by the time Mary Beth had returned. The sweet woman covered her eyes and bowed her head as she entered the tent, "You don't need to do that. I'm dressed." Tami said and watched as the woman looked over her, "And thank you for the corset. Where I'm from we use something different, but I didn't really have anything under my clothes. It was getting uncomfortable." The simple black corset Mary Beth provided was still a little uncomfortable and dug into Tami's sides, but it provided much needed support to her feminine features.

"It's easier to wear with a dress or skirts." Mary Beth prodded gently. Tami knew what she wore was different for the times. In fact it was nearly criminal to be out in such an attire, but she couldn't bring herself to wear skirts. The chaffing and extra fabric always bothered her even in her own time, "I have an extra one and some bloomers in case…"

"Thank you, but I'd rather just wear some pants." Tami watched the gentle woman frown a little and nearly felt shammed, "It's just that where I'm from women can wear anything really." Tami worked on pulling the vest over her shirt. The leather felt heavier with a corset on under her, but the extra protection was nice. She wasn't a large woman, yet had worries about her body all the same. Her fingers worked to unbutton the top button of the shirt to allow her skin to breath a little without feeling her neck being grasped tight.

"Where are you from? I've never heard of such a place." She pried with a dreamy look on her face. Tami worked on trying to find an answer. It wasn't really a question she had been prepared to answer.

"I don't want to talk about it much." She lowered her gaze and pushed her way from the tent to find a sort of party brewing outside. A few new faces had appeared amongst the gang while she was tucked away in the nearly overly hot tent. John and Arthur had returned from what she assumed was a task set before she had arrived, and hovered near Dutch's tent with pointed looks in her direction. Charles was standing near the scout fire talking to Javier, Karen, and Sean. Tilly and Abigail were tucked away on one of the tables setting out what looked to be bowls. Micah was standing near Bill closer to the horses than the rest of the gang.

"Feel better?" Jenny made Tami jump in surprise as she appeared out of thin air. Lenny was standing rather close to the other woman with a dreamy look on his features. Something Tami was unused to him having.

"Tons, thanks." Tami felt drawn to Dutch. As if her heart pulled at the task at hand. A ping in her mind kept remind her every so often of her next task. It was strange and made her wince every so often. Jenny quirked an eyebrow at Tami, but shrugged the strange mannerism off. Dutch slowly made an appearance from his tent and waved a hand lazily at Tami. She looked at Jenny and bit on her tongue in apprehension.

"Looks like you're being summoned." Jenny quipped and shook her head, "It's probably about the party he has us preparing for later on. I'll save you some stew." She looked at the panic in Tami's eyes and placed a gentle hand to Tami's shoulder, "Don't worry. If it was bad, you'd know."

"That helps." Tami spoke dryly making Jenny laugh. Lenny gave a slight chuckle and shook his head. With a deep breath Tami approached Dutch. He was smiling as bright as ever and held his hands together. John and Arthur stood to either side of the tent like a pair of western guards. Just inside an elderly man sat with a bemused expression. It occurred to her that she hadn't seen Hosea up until this point. His wispy grey hair was nearly hidden in it's entirety by his hat. Nearly golden eyes looked at her with a kindness she hadn't seen from any of the other men.

John was glowering slightly from where he stood. His face lacked it's normal scarring making Tami take a double look. It was so strange to see him this way, and it made him look so much younger. His blue eyes were deep beautiful pools, and his black hair was surprisingly clean. Arthur was very impassive in his stance and looked at her with his own emerald orbs. Like with the training he had a bit of a bite to the way he held his body, but also a softness to it. His signature hat was places asymmetrically to his blond locks. Like she usually had him groomed, he had a slight stubble of blond kiss his jawbone.

"I see you've cleaned up." Dutch spoke and placed a hand to her lower back to guide her into his tent. Neither John nor Arthur made a move to enter, but simply stayed outside as a silent warning, "Would you like something to drink." He offered while waving to an opened decanter full of dark liquid.

"Water?" She asked delicately. Hosea and Dutch shared an amused glance.

"John? Would you grab a glass of water for Miss Jackson here?" Hosea uttered in a smooth voice. John gave a slight scoff but departed on his mission.

"I would ask you to start earning your keep as everyone does around here, but I understand you do need time to settle in our own rhythm of things. So tell me, what's the limit to your gift?" Dutch asked and made Hosea sit back and look at her in apprehension. She shifted her eyes to see Arthur no so subtly lean an ear to hear better.

"Something I've learned is that it takes a toll on me. The deeper I go the weaker I become, but so far I can always draw something out of everyone." She spoke honestly. It was something new to her, but the facade of keeping up with her lies had her picking words very carefully. Dutch gave a slight nod.

"Hosea lend her your hand. Tami, my dear, show him." Dutch smiled as Hosea reached a hand out.

Tami took his cool hand in her own and closed her eyes. At first, she could see Bessie, but felt as if that was a little too on the nose. Her head buzzed as she felt something inside of her reaching into the unknown. The power felt like cool water in her bones as she pressed deeper.

She could see a man. A young version of Hosea standing next to a drunken man. The man had laughter around him in shadowy waves. The bright light of memory surrounded the vision, and she held onto it. With a deep grasp she pulled it over herself and felt it's searing heat fight away the cold. A taste came over her. Dry cinnamon paired with the sickly sweet smell of alcohol.

"You've always made me proud, boy. Don't make the same mistakes I've made in life. I know you can do better. Do better than me Hosea. I know you can." The man radiated pride and love for his son even through his drunken haze.

"I will Pa… I always will."

Tami felt the vision slip away from her as if something was pulling her back. Her muscles felt weak and her mind was a little foggy for a few moments. She blinked as the world reshaped itself around her. Hosea and Dutch were watching as she shook her head and took in a sweat breath of air. Knowledge racked inside of her brain. Things she hadn't seen, but rather felt came as fact.

"Your father… He was proud of you. So very proud. You loved him even after seeing him so little in your life. He didn't want you making the same mistakes he made in his life. I'm sorry he passed." Hosea brought his hand back with a snap that was becoming familiar to her. He gave the same awed look to Dutch that Bill had before, "I… I need..." Tami bent forward and held onto her head. Her mouth was utterly dry and her stomach sched something fierce.

"Hey there." Dutch held onto her shoulders tightly, "I've got you." He shot a look of pride to Hosea, "What did I tell you."

"Well, you weren't wrong. That's for sure." Hose was apprehensive in the way he looked at Tami now. Warmth still radiated from his gaze, but it was pared with a slight tinge of fear, "You sure 'bout this, Dutch?"

"Imagine what we could hold. She's just a fortune teller, not a witch." Dutch spoke a little dryly to the older man.

"I've never seen a fortune teller do that." Hosea replied but quieted as John returned with water. He handed the wooden cup off to Dutch and went to walk away this time. He looked at the sudden nervous shift in Arthur and Hosea.

"What's goin' on?" he asked and Dutch suddenly grew even more excited. Tami sipped the water and was happy to learn it was cool and sweet. She downed the entire cup of water as Dutch motioned for John to get closer.

"The future this time if you don't mind." Dutch looked at Tami then to John, "Give her your hand."

The black-haired man furrowed his brow, but did as he was told. Tami felt a sigh of relief wash over her. This was something easy she could latch onto. A bit of knowledge she already had, and hopefully some energy saved. She gripped his worn hand and closed her eyes. The bite of cold washed over her, but even as she tried to push it away it clutched at her bones and wouldn't let go. A terrifying reality came to her. She had very little control over this. While she could melt the memory to her bidding, once the link was made it couldn't be undone until it played out.

John's future was colder than Hosea's past and made her shiver. Cold clean air bit into her nose and throat. It was dark and snow blurred her vision. Something barked behind her and the shout that left her throat was that of a man. It finally occurred to her that she WAS John this time. A growl that was deep and menacing was in front of her. She waved the torch in her hand in fear. The fire waved into the air and her fingers clutched at a very cold gun. Before she could get a shot off, teeth tore into her arm causing her to scream. Hot pain raced down the right side of her face, blinding her right eye. Something came across her face hard and made her gasp. The link snapped and her eyes opened.

"You okay?" John's hand was still firmly in hers when he spoke. He didn't seem as fearful as others before him.

"You are attacked by wolves. I was in you as they tore through your body. There was snow. You'll be hurt but survive… barely. It was so dark, so damn cold. God…" Tami let go of his hand and put hers to her chest yet again, "You'll have scars. Two most prominently across your right cheek and down to your throat. You'll be known for them."

John scoffed but took a look to Dutch for confirmation, "Do you know when or where this will happen?" Dutch asked suddenly. He desperately wanted to know how deep her gift dug. She shook her head.

"No… I just know what will happen. The past is different. You know your past; I can latch onto that and feel what you felt. Know what you know. The future seems more uncertain. Things can change between now and then; however, the path he's on at this moment will lead him there." Tami fought the buzzing in her head, "I need to rest. I can't…" She brought her hand to her nose as the familiar feeling of warmth started to build up. John pulled the scarf from his neck and numbly handed it to her. The blood stained her hand and was promptly soaking in the cloth as she placed it.

"Of course. I need you strong. Now for the rest of you. Keep this to ourselves for a while." Dutch ordered.

"Don't think that will last too long." Arthur spoke in a lazy tone. He leaned against a tent post and was trying his best to seem unbothered. John scratched at his throat and was touching his face every so often.

"Do you think you will be up for a grand showing tonight?" Dutch asked Tami directly. He looked into her eyes and sought for her reply.

"I… I think so. I'm just not used to so much at once. If we can space everyone out, I don't think it would be too bad. But I need rest and food." Tami was still unsure herself, but the test needed to be done anyway. She was growing curious herself. It was a strange power and drained her, but it made her feel special and strong in a way.

"Hosea and John if you could I would like a moment with Arthur and Miss Jackson." The other men rose to leave.

"Be careful, Dutch." Hosea warned in a low voice. His wise eyes looked up and down Tami before he departed behind John.

Dutch nodded, "I already had Bill bring out the supplies you purchased earlier. You'll be by Arthurs tent and near mine. If Arthur doesn't mind setting it up you can eat. You don't mind, do you?" He asked Arthur.

"I don't suppose so." Arthur rubbed the back of his head and looked at Dutch with uncertainty, "You sure, Dutch?" He asked, "Why can't she say in the tent with the other woman?"

Dutch rose and waved for Arthur and Tami to follow him. Tami felt light on her feet. They approached a small area of barren land between Arthur's tent and the medical wagon. Behind them a scorned Molly quickly made her way into the haven of Dutch's tent to lay her claim.

"I promised her." Dutch replied with a smile, "We will just set her tent up by yours." The leader turned to Tami and put a hand on her shoulder, "You are safe here. I will make sure of that." With a turn of his heel, Dutch pranced off in the direction of his own tent and a beautiful young woman.

"Well, that's one hell of an awkward introduction." Tami sighed rubbing her hands together.

"You're tellin' me." Arthur rolled his shoulders and looked at the supplies on the ground, "Better get this up then. And ah... welcome I guess... You sure you know what your doin'?" he asked.

"Nope." Tami replied with a sigh, "Truthfully, I have no damn idea."

"Look, I ain't gonna pretend what you do isn't strange. In fact, its goddamn witchcraft, but you're on Dutch's good side. He likes you. I'd keep it that way, cuz the second you screw up… To be honest you'd be in grave danger. Many people will want to use you, lock you up, or kill you." Arthur bent to grab a wooden post.

"You mean like you?" Tami's words made Arthur stop, "It hasn't been a second I've been here that feels like I've been safe. I'm still human damnet. Orphaned just because I'm a little different. Thrown out of my own home because someone I loved died and I was left with hate. I don't even want to be here." She replied with a bit more venom than she needed to. However, her own fear was starting to bubble into confident anger.

"Why are you here, then?" He asked and looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"Fate." She replied matter of factly, "Fate deems I stay here." She closed her eyes and sighed with sadness, "I'm not one to fight fate… not anymore."

* * *

Tami felt like a bloated tick by the time she finished her meal. Now her body required rest. Her muscles bunched as if she had run a marathon. Jenny had run off with Lenny after providing Tami with her meal. Dutch was looking at her as if she was gold, and with the plans forming in his mind that's exactly what she was. Unknown treasures, hidden troves, expanses of knowledge, and forbidden truths were for the taking. She was his golden goose now. To him, she could literally gave golden eggs right into his palm.

Her tent was finished by the time she returned to it. It was basic with a simple mattress on a canvas floor, but it was all she needed at the moment. She dove onto the thin bed and closed her eyes to allow herself rest.

It was nearly dark when she felt a kick on her boot, "How long was I out?" She moaned and rubbed her eyes.

"Half the day." It was Arthur in the opening of her tent. He held a bottle in his hands, "Dutch asked for me to check on you. He's growing anxious. Wants you to preform in front of everyone tonight."

"Oh great." Tami replied sourly. Her head was pounding, but her body felt a million times better, "Do I get to wear a jesters outfit and juggle apples on my head as well?" She swore she heard Arthur chuckle lightly.

"When you're up to it. He's waiting. I wouldn't let him wait too long."

"Yeah. You're right." Tami rose from the bed as Arthur left. She noticed a small bucket of water near her bed, and a cup on the decrepit table next to it. She took three large cups of water to sate her thirst before bringing the water to her face and wiping the sweat from it. When she was somewhat ready, she left her small sanctuary out into the hostile territory.

The campfires were lit and ready. Boxes of unknown items littered the tables. Two chairs were set out with a table between them. A purple cloth was laid on it with a small glass ball. She rolled her eyes, but understood what was going to happen. Dutch was all to happy to work her to death it seemed, and her first day wasn't even over yet.

"You're awake, good. I was getting worried we were going to have to postpone." Dutch was at her side in an instant, "I'll have them come to you one at a time. When you need a rest do so. I don't think you'll need to tell everyone's future tonight, but I would like them to see exactly why you're here."

Tami shuffled her feet nervously as Dutch guided her to sit. She watched as the full gang started to peer at where she sat. Dutch preened proudly and stood with a hand on her shoulder.

"I think it's about time I told everyone why Miss Jackson is now within our fold. This lady here is a fortune teller, but not like the ones we have experienced. She can tell your future or even your past with the simple touch of your hand." There was muttering around everyone. Some in disbelief and others in wonderment. Sean stepped forward with disbelief on his face.

"That's bullshit and you know it Dutch." His accent peppered his words with a scoff, "Let's see if you are the real deal." He placed his hand in hers and she took a deep breath. The familiar cold washed over her as she pulled it closer. Hopefully it wouldn't hurt so badly if she tried something closer to now.

She was stumbling along the campgrounds. The bubbly mind of being drunk was fogging her mind. Her foot caught on a log and she nearly fell into a fire. Arthur came into view just long enough to push her onto her ass.

"Drunken bastard…"

"You're going to stumble and fall, nearly into a fire. Arthur saves you." Tami shrugged and sat back. The buzzing was barely noticeable as Sean scoffed and threw his hands into the air.

"You're a fraud!" He laughed and stood up, "You've made a bad choice." Sean pointed at Dutch.

"Don't you dare point a finger at me, son." Dutch huffed and watched Sean walk away. He looked to Tami with a raised brow.

"Sometimes its big and sometimes its small." She sighed and rubbed her temples. Mary Beth was slowly sitting in the chair.

"I would like to know if I ever find love." She spoke in a breath. Her weariness of the woman in front of her was apparent in her eyes, but their hands touched all the same.

A small store. Smell of paper and mass amounts of perfume. In front stood a line of people waiting with books in their hands. She looked down to see the book in her own hands. The slender fingers rushed over them. Tami watched as Mary Beth started to smile and look up into the crowd. Her eyes sparkled in a way that made Tami's heart fill with joy.

Tami looked at Mary Beth, "You're going to be famous one day. A writer in your own right. There was lines out the door for you. All knowing who you are." Tami squeezed Mary Beth's hand in her own, "It was beautiful."

Mary Beth's face turned from confusion into a great smile, "A… a writer? Me?" She looked into Tami's eyes and gave a soft sigh of happiness, "You think so?"

Tami gave a soft laugh, "I know so."

* * *

Tami rose in a weary state. Nearly everyone had wanted to hear of their future, and she was exhausted. Some believed and other scoffed. The few who wanted to hear of their past eyed her with nervous expressions. As if they thought she now knew of their entire lives. In some ways they were correct.

She passed the fire and stretched while watching the laughter around. Tami wasn't one of them. Not yet, but hopefully soon she would be sitting with them while singing and drinking. Without weary bones and pounding head, hopefully. Sean let out a loud yell as he stumbled over one of the logs. A woman screamed as his hands touched the fire for a few seconds before Arthur stood up and pushed Sean on his ass. Tami gave a smirk, "Told you so."

Everyone at the fire looked at her for a few seconds and then back to Sean, "Dumb luck." He scoffed before standing and stumbling to her, "Pure dumb luck."


	5. Leave It To The Professional

"It seems that you've been here a full week and haven't done a single thing."

Tami woke with a startle. Susan was standing over her with twisted lips, and face full of ire, "Don't think you can just walk around doing what you wish."

The warm desert morning swept into the cool dark tent behind Grimshaw causing a sweat to start along Tami's brow. Her stomach twisted slightly in the fact she had slept so long without food. Due to this, the spicy scent of cooked meat that filled her nose made her gag. Horses nickered and called to one another in the small grassy area that they were hitched to. The few trees that lay scattered around were the horses ever solid protection from the elements that threatened them.

Tami let her mind wonder to Balefire. Her spunky bay horse was always happy to see her. He nuzzled her every time she approached him to treat him to snacks, or an ever-welcome brush down. He had settled nicely with the other horses. She avoided the clearly homicidal brothers, though it seemed Davey had chosen her as something to fancy. He had been ever increasing in his advances to her, and always grabbed her hands as it dazed her when it forced a link between them. She was growing more and more disgusted with him as she saw him killing or raping different women. It seemed that little Davey had more wrong in his head than anyone else she had ever touched.

"Well?" It seemed Tami's sudden mind wandering was throwing Susan into an ever-harsher whirlwind, "Get up, lazy girl!"

"Dutch told me to rest up." Tami attempted to defend herself. She stood up and attempted to straighten the white stained shirt she now wore to bed every night. Susan gripped her arm and pulled her out of the tent and suddenly into the brightly lit landscape of camp. Tami's bare feet stung as it met with sharp rocks and hot sand. Her pants were twisted painfully around her hips, "Let go of me!" Tami yelled as she pulled her arm and twisted in an attempt to break free.

Susan's nails dug into her flesh. The sting made Tami cry out. She had seen Susan lose her shit at the women of camp before, but had never truly felt it until this very moment. The ruckus had gained the attention of camp. Their quiet morning was now filled with fighting and the grunting of Tami trying to break the iron grip of Susan. Tami reached up and tried to push at Susan's face in an attempt to detour the woman.

A very disgruntled Dutch appeared from his tent and stormed to the fighting women. He pushed them away from one another. His eyes glared between the two in a way that he didn't even have to ask.

"This little wrench isn't pulling her weight." Susan started in with a hard glare. Her words stung like a deep knife. Tami knew Susan was hard, but always thought she was fair in her ways. The important of the woman keeping the camp together was always known, but at the moment she just seemed like a tired old hag.

"Miss Grimshaw." Dutch started in a threatening tone, "She has just arrived. I will say when and if someone isn't pulling their weight. I need her to rest and stay rested for whenever I need her, understand." It wasn't a question in the slightest, and made Susan bristle against his words. Tami felt like a spoiled child and had to hold against sticking her tongue out in a childish manner.

"Speaking of which. Miss Jackson, follow me please. I have a few things I need you to wear for today." Dutch had switched into the happy leader she was used to seeing. He offered his hand, but she took his cloth clad arm instead. He watched her for a few moments, but started walking her to his tent, "Now we are going into Armadillo today to do a little scouting work. I need you dressed up for this occasion."

"I don't like…"

"It's very apparent that you don't like to wear skirts, my dear. For whatever reason I simply can't fathom. However, I will need you to do so today." Dutch guided her into his tent and waved a hand to a royal looking black and red dress. Tami had to admit that it was a nice dress, but felt a frown form on her face, "I'll have Molly help you get ready."

"Uh, no thanks. I can do it myself." Tami gathered the large amount of fabrics into her hands and tried to escape into her tent. With a bowed head she left as fast as she possibly could. Dutch watched her scurry away with an amused glance. His eyes turned to where Arthur sat on his cot writing away. Arthur glanced up and watched her for a few seconds too long, and Dutch already knew why.

"For a man that's always so quiet, you sure spend your time writing." Tami walked to the tree Arthur was sitting against. He looked up in surprise and closed his journal around his finger, "Relax I'm not going to ask to see your sketches." She teased lightly, "Though I'm sure it's better than you think they are." She pulled her hands from behind her back and offered him a bowl of stew.

"Thanks." He reached up for a singular bowl. Arthur was very careful to not brush her fingers with his own. Out of everyone at camp he was the only one who didn't want to be read. Tami didn't blame him. He heard what John had in store, and she supposed Arthur was weary of hearing of his own fate.

"You still think I'm a scary beast?" Tami wondered aloud and made Arthur stop mid bite into his dinner. His emerald eyes washed over her as he pondered her question. She saw a few emotions fly into place before he settled into indifference.

"No, I don't think I ever did." He admitted before continuing to eat. Tami turned her head at him. She had only truly come over to offer him something to eat after prodding from Mary Beth. The dry desert wind picked up and kissed her neck slightly, forcing her to remind herself that this wasn't real. Possibly an alliance with one of the strong arms would ensure her safety. Even so, she shouldn't get to close to any of the members of the gang knowing their fate.

"Would you like to sit?" Arthurs question was more because of the fact that she was standing absolutely still. Her eyes had grown into a dreamy haze peppered with sadness.

"No, thanks. Don't wanna bother you." She winked and held onto her bowl. Blue eyes looked into the murky liquid as she tried to steel herself for the impending loneliness. She was going to have to be here for a long time. Days didn't pass as quickly as she had hoped. In fact, they felt as normal as if she were awake in the real world. Tami looked to see an unbothered Arthur going to town on his food. Perhaps a few friends wouldn't hurt. She sat down and crossed her legs. Not an easy task with such large boots on her feet.

"Change your mind?" He asked with a mouth full of food. Tami couldn't help but laugh at the muffled words and slight liquid running from the corner of his mouth. She picked up her spoon but stopped before it was at her lips.

"What would you do if you were stuck in a place that was never yours?" Her arms relaxed as she dropped the bowl into her lap.

"Well now… I can't say for sure." Arthur leaned his head back and mirrored her actions. Their eyes met as they both thought for a few minutes. Tami gave a breath from her nose as her lips twisted into a rueful smile.

"Must be nice to be where you need to be at all times. Wish I could say the same." She stuck a bite into her mouth and chewed on the tender pork that flavored the dish.

"Now, I didn't say that." Arthur raised an eyebrow, "I ain't perfect." He looked over her and stilled the voice in his head that wanted her to tell him of his future. Something inside of him pulled at his very soul to connect with this girl and he didn't know why. As if the universe was literally pulling him towards her for some unknown reason. Though in all reality it was a simple code put in place in hopes it would ensure her safety, for him this was a true world and life.

"That's the beauty in perfection you know? Imperfections are what make you perfect." Tami stopped eating long enough to reply.

"You think I'm perfect." Arthur drawled in a humored tone. His eyebrows raised and his lips twisted into a bemused smile.

"What the hell? I didn't say that, was just trying to be all wise and shit." Tami choked when she heard Arthur laugh. People normally didn't find her funny. It gave her a boost of confidence, and made her smile in her own right.

"You need to work on it." Arthur chuckled lowly. Tami shook her head with a smile and bit into her food.

"Don't compliment me too much, Cowboy. I fall in love easily."

Tami was struggling way too much with the ribbon in the back of the dress that was supposed to keep it tightly wrapped to her body. She wanted to scream at the fabric as it already clung to her sweaty legs. The sound of boots crushing dirt walked by her tent.

"Who's that?" Tami asked as she struggled to get her short arms to pull the fabric close on her back.

"Arthur."

Hey, come in here. I need your help." Tami stuck her tongue out as she once again fumbled for the strings.

"What do you need he... Dear lord woman."

Tami turned to see Arthur covering his eyes with his head bowed. She raised an eyebrow and looked around the tent, "What?"

"You ain't decent." He wasn't shy about it, but he clearly tried to act like he was a gentleman.

"Jesus, Arthur. You're acting like you haven't seen a woman's back before. If bare shoulder blades make you pop a boner you got problems." Tami scoffed and pulled at the neckline to keep the dress over her chest, "I need help rising the back. If you can't tie a knot me go get someone who can... please."

"I don't understand you." He sighed and shook his head.

"I know you can tie a dress. Just help me out." Tami turned her head and bowed it. With a free hand she swept up the loose black strands of her hair to give him better access to the ribbon, "Look if it bothers you this much, we won't tell camp you know how pasty white my back is. Davey might get jealous anyway."

"Davey?" Arthur asked from behind her. He was slowly working his hands closer to the back of her dress, trying to decide if he should or not.

"Yeah. He's acting all funny around me. I ain't stupid, but he isn't my type you know. I dig a bad boy, but damn is that boy too fucking much." Tami closed her eyes and fought against the strange sensation of another person's fingers so close her bare back. She felt the dress tighten as Arthur pulled at each layer to tighten the bodice into form.

"Why didn't you ask one of the women to help you do this?" Arthur asked while pulling another row into place. Tami gasped as it started to push her body into a form she wasn't used to.

"That would have been the smart thing to do." She gasped again as his knuckle brushed her skin. It was like a zap of electricity between them. Arthur pulled his hand back and swore lowly.

"You have no shame, woman." Arthur was the first to break from whatever it was. He smoothly acted like it never happened. Tami's heart dropped slightly as she battled with the sudden feelings in her chest. She knows he's handsome, but he's not real. Tami has to fight with the fact that he isn't a real human. His warm fingers are a simple production of advanced technology. Wires placed onto her nerves to give her an illusion of a true human's touch. Her silence was noted heavily as the now confused Arthur tied off the last of her ribbon.

"Thank you, I should finish getting ready. You can leave now." Her voice was barely above a whisper. Arthur looked at her for a long minute. He wanted to say something in response, but she didn't turn around to look at him. With a new found confusion Arthur left the tent. He was only able to mull over what had happened for a few moments as Dutch called him over.

Tami pulled har hair into a tight bun, only pulling a few strings to fall down either side of her face. She looked into a small mirror for the first time in days. A small item from Dutch she had considered a gift until she now understood what he wanted from her. While he was truly kind, Tami had to admit that he was very smart and calculated with every one of his moves and motives. Perhaps it was just in his coding. Something she had to keep remind herself after days of living amongst these people who looked and acted as real as anyone she had ever met.

A new black box sat beside the mirror. She wondered why she hadn't noticed it the night before as her eyes studied it. The strange pots inside were made of ceramic material. Two simple brushes lay beside them. When she opened the two pots there was red and black liquid in either one. Tami sighed as she knew what was expected of her.

* * *

"I'm feeling generous today. You can come along. Prepare the horses for us."

Tami arrived back at Dutch's tent just as Sean happily ran to where the horses were kept. Blue eyes trailed after the Irish man's hyper steps, "He looks like a puppy with a new treat." Tami teased lightheartedly.

"He may be, but I for one feel like I've been treated. You look ravishing, my dear." Dutch reached for her hand and kissed it. Tami felt the bite of a connection being made before it faded into a screaming memory as he pulled his hand away. She tried to shake Annabelle's scream from her mind with a slight shiver.

"From you? I'd consider that a warning." She teased trying to lighten her own mood. Dutch chuckled lowly and gave a mock bow. The low-cut black dress had red trim along the frills and ribbon. It was defiantly hot to wear, but the fabric breathed much better than she thought it would. She felt self-conscious about the way it pushed up her breast, but she supposed it was simply the times. Her lips were a simple red with black lines along her eyes. Dutch wasn't wearing his signature black vest this time. In fact he seemed to be dressed down.

"It may be." She didn't miss the raise to his brow or the thirst in his eye. Tami took a step back onto her old brown boots, hidden by the long skirts. In another life she would consider the soft flirting to be appealing, but she knew who this man would become. Even with the protection and kindness he offered now, madness and chaos would come after and it terrified her.

"So, the job?" The two looked to see Arthur crossing his arms. Tami didn't miss the sudden niceness to what he wore. While it wasn't an outright suit, it was defiantly finer gear than he normally wore. In fact, it was a little different to see him suddenly change before a mission. With a bit more perception she noticed that they matched. He wore a deep red button up shirt under a black embossed vest. A pair of cleanly pressed jeans and shined black boots. His face was clean and hair combed over. It was a sight that made her mouth absolutely water. The most wanton thoughts crossed her mind for a few unabashed moments. Then the reality sunk in, and she turned her head away from him.

"Right you are. Let's get mounted and head out. Miss Jackson here will be helping us today." Dutch waved a hand for Arthur and Tami to follow him as he started towards Sean and the horses. Arthur tried not to notice as she kept her distance from him. She slipped a hand into the crook of Dutch's arm and held up her skirts with the other hand.

Once they were all mounted up and, on the road, Tami was reminded of how much she hated not having a car. Her legs were already cramped from riding saddle side, and Sean's constant whining set her teeth on edge.

"I just can't believe…"

"So, Dutch what is the plan here?" Tami rushed to interrupt Sean's newest complaint. She had always thought the Irish man to be funny, but it was easy to see where everyone's irritation had come from.

"Were going into Armadillo today. Sean and I are going to chat up the local law. You and Arthur are going to pose as a wealthy couple looking for a trustworthy bank after coming into a bit of money. I am going to need you to find the manager of the bank and try to get the schedule of their fine employees. The less people, the better." Dutch struck up a match and sat back on his horse puffing at a cigar. Tami raised an eyebrow at him.

"Thus, explaining why, we look like we walked out of a him and her catalogue." Tami mused with a slight snicker.

"I'd say you two look rather nice." Dutch attempted to seem offended. Sean gave a short chuckle as Arthur snorted. Tami rolled her eyes and used a hand to attempt to fan herself. The saddle was biting into her backside already.

"I feel like a monkey." Tami's voice was a bit bitter.

"Couldn't have said it better myself." The long silent Arthur responded and Tami shot a smile over her shoulder.

"Like I was saying, I can't believe…"

Tami was overjoyed when the small town of Armadillo came into view. As much as Tami wanted to throttle Sean she had to admit the laughter he had given the small band was nice.

"Now remember what I told you." Dutch sounded more like an overbearing father than a gang leader.

"And you want me to go in there and find out their schedule." Tami already understood her part of the plan. Dutch gave a toothy grin.

"If you would." Dutch asked in a sweet tone.

"This is why you forced me to wear this damned thing." Tami spoke with disgust and looked to the black and red dress on her body. She scowled at the fabric.

"No man would fawn over a woman in pants." Sean chuckled deeply in his throat.

"Maybe." Tami spoke and met eyes with Arthur. He turned his head away, but she could see it for a few moments. Just behind his iris there was something different, "Maybe..."

The town of Amarillo was full of life. It was different to see the people laughing and happy. Unknown to them, their lives would soon be filled with pain and death. Large wooden buildings held such history in them. A small part of Tami wished this were a true place. The people that walked so very real. Wind kissed her skin confusing her even further. Slowly her withheld opinions of everything started to crack just a little. What she knew of reality was crumbling into dust.

Dutch and Sean split off as soon as they could to leave Arthur and Tami on a lazy trot into town. She felt herself grow stiff as Arthur made a show of staying near her.

"Don't they know your face here." Tami whispered in a low tone. She was already starting to feel uncomfortable, and not just in the way the sun was beating down her neck. The remembrance of the strange zap of electricity started to turn her insides again. His closeness made her ears burn.

"Not really. I keep my nose fairly clean." Arthur scratch his shoulder and looked over at her.

"I'm honestly surprised." Her laughter cracked with nerves. The man next to her raised an eyebrow.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." Her voice reached a higher pitch and she diverted her eyes, "No… no I'm not. I'm super nervous. Like what if I don't get what he wants."

"Hopefully you will." Arthur sat back on his horse as they neared the bank. Tami let her eyes dart from side to side and took in the sheer amount of people that gathered around them.

"I… I'm terrified right now." She admitted with a slight stutter. Her chest heaved with fear. Anxiety raced through her veins causing her hands to shake. When Arthur reached for her hands she jumped, "Don't… I"

"It's okay, dear. I know you've had a long day." He wrapped his hands around her middle and pulled her down. She could feel the air in her veins explode forward as she sudden shift caused her legs to give out. Head wobbled and felt light headed, "You okay?" Arthur's voice was near her ear as the world started to shift back into place.

He smelled like a combination of soap and tobacco. The muscles under her hands bunched in his effort to help her stay upright. Chests flush against one another combining heat and heartbeats. Her mind struggled with reality. He was real, everything about him felt so real.

"I'm fine, thanks." She pushed herself back. Balefire stopped her from going any further than a few inches. Tami forced herself to look into his eyes. His iris expanded slightly as she watched. Her heart stopped cold in realization that the characters had been made even more lifelike. A shuttered grip on reality loosened again.

"Here." He offered his arm and took a step back, "Appearances."

"Ah yes. We are madly in love after all. Is this the time I can make outlandish requests that you would love to fulfil?" Tami slipped a hand into the crook of his arm with a slight laugh. The air started to thin from the strange fog that rolled around her. With a desperate plea, came the hope that it wouldn't return. She stuffed her feelings down into herself, and tried to portray someone with confidence.

"I suppose so." He raised an eyebrow at her sudden shift in mood. It was something that was becoming incredibly apparent, the fact that she was terrified and skittish was hidden under false confidence and humor.

"In that case I would like a pair of gloves. Nothing overly fancy, but if you would like to procure something of fine taste I wouldn't mind." The wind picked up slightly as Arthur guided her to the two large wooden doors of the bank.

"You are a strange woman." Arthur spoke with a bit of humor. The doors opened as a man went to leave. The unknown man stepped to the side and held the door firmly open. Tami bowed her head in thanks. Arthur. went to pat her hand with his own in a large show and she stiffened. The cold bite never came. A sense of dread filled her. His touch brought on the slight fog that came with her newfound ability, but it never fully took hold. A kiss of his past reached her mind, but whatever was in his future was literally blocking any sight into it.

"May I help you?' An older man at the till spoke with a smile. He looked the new couple over. His black hair was parted in the middle and slicked down heavily. Bright brown eyes looked out from his tired, clean face.

"We've come into quite a bit of money here. My wife here had a hunch about some land down south and we struck gold for sure." Arthur put on an endearing look towards Tami. She felt a blush crawl along her throat and kiss her ears.

"I didn't hear about gold being struck." The banker sniffed a little. Tami felt fear cripple her heart.

"You callin' me a liar?" Arthur's hand dug into Tami's and made her wince.

"Well, sir I'm just…"

"We should just find somewhere else. I hear Blackwater has a nice bank. Probably more hospitable as well." Tami interrupted and pulled Arthur to the door. Surprisingly, he let her.

"What are you doin'?" He whispered but she brought a finger to her lips.

"Why are you letting these fine folks walk away, Albert? I'm so sorry about him. He's just needing a little more training on how to treat such esteemed guests. Please, if you would reconsider, I will handle you two from here on out." A finely dressed man appeared behind Albert with a wide grin. His own salt and pepper locks were slicked back. Greedy blue eyes followed their every move.

"I would expect better service from a place that would handle our money." Tami sniffed with her nose in the air. She felt like a spoiled brat, but felt the attitude fit the need adequately, "I shouldn't expect too much in a place like this. I told you Saint Dennis would be the best. But nooo you didn't want to ride in a carriage for too long."

"Now, dear. This fine gentleman is willing to help us. I would hear him out." Arthur spoke and Tami let out a low scoff. She had to admit he was playing the part of good cop very well, and his improv skills were surprisingly remarkable for a man… AI… Just a character in a game.

Arthur guided her back to the front desk with a lot more force then necessary. As if he was trying to solidify the fact, he was running this show. He made a point to pull her arm away and cross them.

"I apologize for my wife here. You see she ain't much used to ridin' in the heat like this." The bang of Arthur's hand on the desk made everyone jump. Tami scowled at him.

"They say the harder the stallion is to break, the sweeter the ride." The finer dressed man gave a wink to Arthur, who in turn chuckled along. Tami seethed with anger but balled her fingers tightly. Sharp nails cut into the palms of her hand, but she calmed herself as Arthur pus a hand on the swell of her back and pulled her closer.

"Now, do you have a place we can talk in private. I am not fond of letting others know my exact wealth." Arthur spoke coolly.

* * *

Tami wanted to absolutely murder herself. She hadn't had a chance to even attempt to grab the man's hand as of yet. The one moment the man, who's name they found out was Henry, had offered a tissue due to her 'runny nose' Arthur had swiped it up in his time of gentleman performance.

"I'm hungry." Tami spoke flat out. The men stopped their conversation that had turned to fishing somehow.

"It is getting late. I do appreciate you both coming in today. Please keep us in consideration." He offered a hand for Arthur to shake, and then turned it to Tami. A small sense of relief filled her as she gripped his hand. Time slowed as he brought it to his lips as the room was swept in a cold breeze.

"Pa…" A small girl ran to Henry's legs and tangled herself in them. A young woman with blond hair watched from the doorway of a house, "You said you wouldn't have to go today." She pouted heavily.

"I know sweetheart, But Jim is sick and Gregory has gone away. It's just me and Arthur to run the business for now. I promise I'll be home soon."

Tami felt a shake and cloth press to her nose, "Will she be alright?" Henry asked with concern. The familiar smell of copper filled her nose. Red hot pain laced behind her mind at the sudden shift. The memory felt wrong and disjointed, and rattled around in her brain. As if it wasn't supposed to exist in the first place, yet was created by her own mind. In truth it wasn't supposed to be true. He wasn't a character with a backstory so in depth, and the world had shaped itself for it. In doing so, it started to shape her mind along with it.

"Just the dry air." She spoke in a slight gasp, "Please, take me home."

Arthur quickly said his goodbye and walked her out of the bank with concern on his face. The sun had dipped some and allowed a cooler air to move in.

"Did you get anything?" He asked while helping her to her horse.

"I think I did, but not in the way Dutch wanted." Her head pounded and mouth dry, "Can we go please. I can't." Something cold swallowed her mind, but thankfully it was just dark.

* * *

"Look at it." Back in the normal world two men stared at the brain scan of one Tami Jackson. They shared a look of pure confusion.

"It looks like its trying to assimilate itself into the game." The taller man shook his head and pulled his lips into a thin line, "This wasn't meant for such a long time use. We don't even know how badly this is going to affect her. That is if we even know how this is going to affect her at all. Not even mentioning the damage it has already done."

"One hell of a PR nightmare." The shorter man sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"At least she is alive. Let's keep her that way. She is the last one left. As long as we have a survivor we can spin it in our favor." A woman spoke from behind the men and made them jump, "Do what you have to do to keep her alive."

"We've already installed a program that will make the Van Der Linde's protect her. She just needs to keep them on her good side." The taller man spoke.

"She already had Arthur watching out for her pretty well." The second one added.

The woman nodded, "Good, speed it up."

"What?" The taller man asked.

"Speed it up. Make sure she has this Arthur character think she is invaluable to him. He makes it to the end of the game. Make sure he takes her with him." The woman put her hands together, "I don't care how you do it, but make it happen."

In the next room lay Tami's body. Attached to many wires and a tubes shoved down her throat. Muscles bunching and unbunching as the electrical current ran through her body. While her body was tied down on a table, her mind was in another world. It looked like she was just sleeping peacefully. Hopefully, if everything went the best way, she would wake up as if it was all just a long sleep. Hopefully, she would come back alive.


	6. Blackwater Is A Bad Idea

The room was small and warm. A singular candle bathed the wooden walls in orange light. Cigarette smoke combined with the deeply rooted smell of mold. Pain laced a sharp whip across the waking person on the bed. In the innermost depths of the strange place sat Arthur. His hands working along the parchment in front of him. The newest unnatural feeling in his chest soured his mind, yet felt right at the same time. An innermost code broken in earnest as a newfound need sprouted life. His fingers brought the pencil across the page once more.

Green eyes shifted to the sleeping woman on the bed. Her hair was a mess from her fall. A red lump was just under the hairline as a few angry red lines came to the tip of her ear. An unnatural urge to protect her was forming behind his mind for some unforeseen reason. He felt a shift of anger for it. Witchcraft she must have expanded to his mind was taking hold, but even past that it was unfightable. His eyes skimmed a short passage that was newly written along his notes.

"I know I need to protect this new woman for Dutch, but I am having thoughts that are not my own. At least I don't think they are mine. A voice in my own head that seems strange, a feeling I haven't had since Mary. She confuses me. Her attitude always changing. A push and pull to her nature that draws one in only to cast them away again. Perhaps I am just imagining it all."

To express his inner turmoil his journal now sported a new image. The sketch was far from perfect, yet he kept working along it. Even without color he knew where the blue in her eyes would shine. A softness to her body was suddenly jagged as he pulled his hand down again. Something inside of him snapped suddenly. As if a great pillar to his own self was shifted back into place. The book closed suddenly in his hands. Did he want to protect her? Yes, for both selfish and unselfish reasons that seemed equally as troublesome.

When daylight had risen Arthur found himself bringing the sleeping woman to his horse in the early hours of the morning. Her own horse was tied to his own. They needed to return to camp before the town had awoken to see them still around. The guise that had worked the day before was most likely not going to stay into place for a second time. Arthur knew that when he had her safe at camp he would need some time to think.

"Tami Jackson?" An older woman in a nice black dress asked. She bent down to take the small girl's hand. The funeral wasn't even over yet but the girl knew in her heart what was about to happen. The way her foster father treated her for the past few days already told her of what was about to happen.

"Yes." She sounded defeated and took one last look of the open coffin of her foster mother. Her lips painted a brilliant red, and hair done perfectly for the last time. The small girl sniffled and lowered her head.

"My name is Jen Walker; I will be your new caseworker." She held out a hand and the girl took it, "I'm going to need you to come with me, okay?"

Tami woke up with a start. It had been weeks since she had dreamt last. The feelings of a lifelong past still welled in her throat. In fact, it took a long moment before they passed away. In that time, she lay still listening to the outside world work away as the morning was most likely long past. Once she got up and around, she found a pair of clothing lay out on her table. Thankfully it was her normal wear for now. Jeans, white shirt, and black vest slid on with the donated corset completed her outfit. With a short brushing back, her black hair was left loose around her neck.

A large bump was on the side of her head coupled with a few smaller scratches. Her fingers brushed them lightly and she winced in the pain it brought her. She brought a little bit of water to it and tried to wash it, but kept wincing away as a slight headache started to form behind her ears. Eventually Tami simply gave up and left her tent.

As the tent flap moved back, she was greeted to a glowing world. Talking was here and there as everyone clustered for their morning work. Tami moved sluggishly as she approached Dutch's tent. The day before still stuck in her mind, and she knew he was most likely eager to hear of what she knew.

"Hey sleepy head, hungry?" Jenny asked as the woman seemed to appear out of nowhere, "We had eggs this morning, but I saved you some." She beamed with a great glow. Tami's inner beast growled in hunger, letting both women know of its need.

"Thank you, I'll come find you after I talk with Dutch."

Jenny have a nod and set off in the direction of women doing laundry. Tami sucked her head against Susan's sudden gaze and scampered into the tent.

Molly was sitting with a lazy posture on the bed tucked into the corner. Her fingers pressed to the pages of a book she was currently engrossed in. Dutch was leaning back in his chair with a pipe between his lips. Both occupants looked up at the new arrival.

"I was hoping you'd wake up soon. Arthur told me you had a nasty spill. He brought you back to camp and we were worried for you." Dutch sat forward with true happiness on his face. Either the fact she was okay or the excitement from what she knew. No matter which way, Tami was pleased he was at least somewhat concerned with her wellbeing.

"I'm sure." Tami leaned a hip out and stuck her hand in the back pocket, "I'm also very sure you are wanting the information I have for you."

Dutch have Molly a pointed look and she left with a soft smile. The Irish woman laid a hand on Tami's shoulder as she left, "We were really worried for you. Arthur most of all. You should tell him you're alright after this." The beautiful accent in her words did little to hide the meaning behind them. All the same, Tami simply nodded and returned the smile.

"You shouldn't think of me as such a calloused man. I truly care about all of my people." Dutch waved to the bed. The tired woman took a seat gratefully and cradled her hands together.

"I'm not your people, Dutch." Tami corrected. She watched his eyebrows raise and hurt touch his face.

"I thought of you as such." His words were soft and uncharacteristically sad. Deep brown eyes looked over her form in such a way that made her feel shame. A large warm hand touched her knee, "I won't force you to stay. I know all of this was sudden. Maybe in my excitement at such a wondrous and rare gift I had forgotten you in the mix. For that I am sorry, but you are my people Tami. That is, if you want to be."

Weight gathered in her chest. Words she had always longed to hear cake from the mouth of a man that didn't truly exist, yet she yearned to feel warm and loved. Eyes watered slightly as she fought the tears that danced to be free. The hand gripped her knee tighter. Not too much to hurt, but enough to draw comfort from. Tami made a decision. It may have been a short time, but she wanted... no... needed to feel this. A family around her, as doomed as it was, would be something nice. A change of pace even for a little while.

"As desperate as it sounds, I've always wanted a family..." A home would have been the best way to describe the need inside of her. Instead she took a breath and composed herself, "Anyway, the bank. There are only two workers at all times if that. No guards on the inside. One of them, has children so some good brute strength would be a plus. It seems rather empty whenever we went. Just one man left but no one else was there."

"Not exactly what I was looking for, but this will be very helpful. Thank you." Dutch looked a little let down, but patted her knee and returned to an upright sitting position. Tami rose to leave but was stopped by the sudden clearing of his throat.

"We ARE a family here, Tami. I'd be honored if you decided to join us... permanently." Tami's hand gripped the tent flap a little roughly as she stopped herself from bursting into tears. Possibly the strange shift from the day before had shaken her emotional state, but the words struck true to her soul. She left without another word in fear of breaking down.

True to her word, Jenny offered a plate of scrambled and cool eggs with a side of cold bacon and hard roll. Once more Jenny was running off behind Lenny to an undisclosed direction. It was nearly heartbreaking to watch.

Tami ate the food gratefully before seeking out Mary Beth or Tilly. Hell, anyone with a talkative nature and something to distract her from this headache would be welcome. That's when he appeared. Davey had 'bumped' into her yet again and attempted to grab for her hand. She could smell the alcohol on his breath long before she even registered something else in his hands entirely. A large old shotgun. Just behind him stood Mac and Micah whispering smugness the two of them.

"I, apologize I wasn't here to help you feel better. I would have easily hurt those before they could hurt you." Davey puffed out his chest in a ego trip.

"Yeah, I'm sure those rocks would have gotten a hell of a beating." Tami smarted off and turned to walk away.

"Hey now, sweetheart." His hand gripped her arm and kept her from taking another step.

"If I wanted a slimy bastard to warm my bed, I'd easily catch a snake." She tore her arm away and tried to walk away a second time.

"I'd think of myself more like an Eel. A bit more electrifying." Davey smiled in a proud manner. Tami felt disgusted. Blood and gore of his past came to the forefront of her mind.

"Hey Davey, Dutch was talkin' 'bout seein' you as soon as you got back." Tami turned to see John walking up in a slow walk. His face was unbothered and a single hand was hanging from his belt in a lazy way, "Guess you got some important information for him." John shrugged and wiped the sweat off of his brow. Hay stuck out of his shirt here and there.

"Fine, I'll see you later." Davey let out a low exaggerated sigh. The three men departed and Davey winked at Tami. She held in the need to vomit.

"You okay?" John asked while picking hay from his shirt.

"Yeah, thanks." Tami ran her hand through her hair and sighed heavily. He nodded and turned to leave, "John…" She let her hand drop and grasped at the pockets of her pants, "Be careful."

His face grew solemn as he reached for his face. A wave of nausea filled his stomach, but he just nodded and continued to walk away.

* * *

Tami was sitting next to Mary Beth folding clothes when most of the men returned. They were all sporting large smiles and laughter. Charles, Bill, and John made a straight shot for Dutch.

"I'm going to assume the robbery went well." Tami mused with a slight smile. The folded pants in her hands were placed in the neat pile next to her.

"I hope so, we've been running a little lower than normal for a few weeks. Trying to lay low for something big. Rumor has it, once they pull off a job in Blackwater we will be set for life. Move somewhere far away and just live free." Mary Beth sighed with a smile, but Tami felt her stomach drop. Tami rose quickly and bid a short goodbye. She set on searching for Dutch. The second he was in view she couldn't stop the word vomit.

"Blackwater is a bad idea."

John and Bill stopped their talking and looked up in surprise. Charles raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. Dutch sat back in his position and folded his hands. She felt cold even through the desert air. A moment of lapse judgement had brought her here. If she warned too harshly the game wouldn't progress. It was something she needed to remember. This was just a game, and these weren't real people. No matter how real they seemed.

"Would you gentlemen mind leaving for a moment… And please get everything settled for tonight, you've earned it." Dutch let his eyes drop to Tami as they were alone, "I'm not going to ask how you heard of what's going to happen. Frankly, I don't care. How dare you interrupt us."

"I was just here to warn you." Tami sucked at her teeth and looked around.

"I run things here. If you have anything valuable to add, I would love to hear it… but on MY time." Dutch interlinked his fingers and stared her down, "Am I understood."

"Perfectly, sir." She felt the blush creep up her neck before he could see it.

"Now, what about Blackwater." He asked and leaned forward.

"Just be careful of a woman named Heidi McCourt. She causes your downfall." She fought against her inner voice. Tami needed to find a way to explain herself without giving too much away. The job needed to be done so that everything could go forward, "Blackwater isn't safe. It's going to go wrong, Dutch. Very wrong."

"Well, we will have to be more careful, bring more muscle then… I need time to think about this." Tami turned to leave as Dutch pulled something from behind him. A dark black leather-bound book was now in his hands, "Thank you, Miss Jackson."

She turned her head and gave a sad smile, "To be honest with you Dutch, from what I've seen it would be better if you didn't do it at all. You'd save more lives if you didn't"

"Thank you… Miss Jackson." His voice was more dismissive this time. She stayed for a second too long and met his deep brown eyes. He could see the fear in her own before she left. His inner demon clawed for him to completely forget what she said. A deep need to do the job no matter what got in his way. But deep within his mind came an apprehension that her words caused. She hadn't been wrong as of yet, but he pushed her words from his mind and reshaped his plan accordingly.

* * *

The beer was sour as she swallowed it, but Tami defiantly needed this. She was standing between Mary Beth and Jenny as John and Javier sat in the middle of five finger filet. Tami had done it dozens of times during her short experience being a bar fly. It was easy enough if you had the right timing. Javier had already beaten half the camp out, and John wasn't going to win. He had only made two rounds before slicing his middle finger pretty good.

"Next time." Javier winked and pocketed the change John threw down.

"Gah, this is easy. I'll take you on." Tami spoke before she could stop herself. Javier looked at her with a wide smile.

"Please sit, dama." He waved a finger to where John was standing from. She sat and rolled her shoulders, "I'll go easy on you." He snickered lightheartedly as she rolled her sleeves up.

Tami raised an eyebrow and placed her hand down. Her fingers lay splayed on the table as John slid his knife to her. Javier smiled and pulled his own knife, "Don't lose a finger now. I couldn't bare a silent night 'round here." Tami teased.

"Don't worry about me little one, worry about keeping your pretty little fingers intact." Javier gave with a grin. He started out a slow pace for his fingers. She watched the blade go over the tender flesh of his fingers and gouge the wood with ease. With a flip of the blade through his hand he struck it hard into the wood between his thumb and first finger. He hissed and placed his thumb in his mouth after four passes, "Nice and slow for you." He placed two quarters onto the table and crossed his arms.

Tami felt the eyes of the gathered group on her and fought the urge to shake under it. Years of practice fell into place. She was able to find a nice rhythm and even grow faster than him. With a second pass she could hear everyone growing hyped up. Javier raised an eyebrow, but never let his smile slip as she passed a third time. Her heart thrummed a steady beat as she passed a fourth time swiftly and broke into a fifth pass. With a whoop from her throat she stabbed John's knife directly into the center of the table.

As she pulled his fifty cents to her side an arm wrapped around her middle and pulled. Davey slid besides her with a wide grin, "That's my girl." He drunkly slurred as he attempted to put a kiss to her cheek. Tami pulled back and fell onto the dirt. Charles jumped back, but helped her to her feet.

"Dude, ever hear of personal space." She wiped her cheek off angrily. Alcohol in her veins making her brave, "Shit, boy. We ain't nothing. Like I'd spend any time with you, fucking crazy bitch."

Davey let his face twist into anger, but was cut off by the sudden boom of another voice, "What's goin' on here?"

Arthur walked forward with raised brows. The small group that had gathered departed to allow him deeper into the fold. Tami found herself attempting to groom herself for some strange reason.

"Just foolin'." Davey stood up and smiled.

"Mind talkin' to me for a minute." Arthur pointedly looked at Tami. She quickly followed him and left the gossiping whispers behind.

The night was nice and cool. Music started up a short time after they had left. The edge of camp was vacant as Arthur finally turned around and showed a black box in his hands.

"I was told you didn't get a cut, so I got you this." Arthur shook the box in his hands.

"I couldn't." Tami stuttered raising a hand against it.

"Just open it." Arthur smiled slightly as the took the small box from his hands.

"I didn't even do much... Oh.." Tami let out a low breath at the gloves in the box. They were simple little black gloves, but the thought behind it made her smile. She placed them on her hands and held back the tears that threatened to spill, "Thank you, Arthur."

"I figured you needed something because of... ugh." His breath was knocked out of him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He placed a hand to her back and cleared his throat, "Uh, you're welcome."

Somewhere behind them a whoop went into the air. They separated and looked to see Sean starting to throw his head up and yelling some story across the fire.

"We're doin' that job tomorrow instead of next week. Dutch said you warned him against something, but wouldn't say what." Arthur said suddenly and made Tami grow silent. He looked at her as she clutched her leather clad hands together.

"Please be safe." She whispered softly before making her way to her tent. An arm stopped her before she was able to escape inside.

"Wasn't so nice of you earlier." The sickening sound of Davey's voice made Tami want to vomit.

"You're gonna die tomorrow." Tami hissed lowly, "A slow and painful death. I wish I could have seen it in person." She pushed him back and looked into his confused eyes. A sharp slap came across her face. A sudden push and kick to her gut made her breath out in pain. She curled against more blows, but they never came. Instead came the wet slaps of skin against skin.

"You're sick." Arthur growled lowly, "Go on. Get before I beat the sight outta you."

She turned her head to see Arthur standing over her. The picture of strength and intimidation. Davey was flat on his ass and held his jaw in his hands. With a hand he reached into his mouth and pulled out a yellow tooth covered in gum and blood.

"Better watch out girl." He growled lowly.

"Arthur I..."

"You should get some sleep." Suddenly aloof, Arthur wouldn't meet her eyes, "I'll make sure you ain't bothered."

Tami opened her mouth to speak, but thought better of it. Silent as a mouse she retreated into her tent and sat on the bed suddenly. She was very confused. Almost as confused as the man outside. Jealousy wasn't something Arthur had ever expected to feel again, yet it boiled into his veins. It boiled deep into the night even after the party had died down and Tami was snoring rather loudly from her tent. The man drinking from his tent and keeping an eye on hers was utterly confused, but convinced she did something to him to make him feel this way. Witchcraft or no, she had definitely done something.


	7. The Good Gets Ugly

"_Jenny! Stay with me!" Tami tried to grab at the girl as another wave of bullets rained down. Jenny looked at Tami with fear in her eyes. The law had followed them back home. Even with the change in plans everything had fallen to shit like it was supposed to. The carriage they were riding in had broken a wheel and they were left behind. Something shook the ground, a loud explosion causing Tami's hearing to go._

"_Tami!" Jenny's screams seemed far away. The woman's hands reached for Tami as she fell. Tami was more confused than anything. Her legs gave out. Body no longer responding to basic commands. She looked down and saw crimson red pool on her shirt. Weird, she felt no pain. The blackness in her vision started slowly at first. She watched Jenny fall to the ground. Time started to move at a strange pace. Every time she closed her eyes something new was in front of her._

_A man's face looking into her own. Worry peppered his deep brown eyes. Her eyes grew heavy, and she couldn't hear what he was saying. The second time she opened them, a different man was sitting over her. His hands pressed firmly to her abdomen. She swore it was Charles, but couldn't be sure with the amount of blood on his face. He said something to her, but again she couldn't answer._

_A hand reached out, but wasn't Jenny's. Where is Jenny anyway? Tami had specifically come to try and save the girl's life. Arthur's face was the last thing she could see before darkness finally took her away._

_Tami woke up covered in weight and pain. Her mouth was utterly dry, and she felt as if she was split at the seams. It was dark and cold. Someone opened the tent flap. Even with the light she could see the snow coming down, "John…." She whispered through the pain, "John's in danger…"_

Tami woke to find herself covered in blood and pain.

"You're alive. Thank God you're alive." Susan was bent over her with a slight tear in her eyes.

"What happened, where are we?" Tami asked while trying to sit up. Hot pain in her abdomen kept her from moving much. She looked down to see her shirt completely pulled apart. A deep cut ran from her upper chest to her belly button. She wanted to vomit from the sight of her fat and muscle being exposed.

"You were right, Tami." Dutch sat with his head in his hands, "It cost two lives so far, thankfully not yours."

"Two?" She asked and watched as Susan whispered something to Mary Beth. The younger woman pulled something out of sight. A table was pushed near her and something was laid out.

"Mac and Jenny... they didn't make it." Dutch uncharacteristically bit his bottom lip and averted his gaze, "Davey and Sean are missing."

Before Tami could ask anything more hands surrounded her ankles and wrists. Tilly and Mary Beth gazed at her with worry in their eyes. As Susan dipped the needle into her skin, she wished she could say it barely hurt like in the movies. Instead Tami tried to thrash. Her scream echoed around camp. It bit into her throat and lungs but she didn't stop. Once again, she was treated to peace in the form of darkness.

_Someone screamed and woke Tami from her slumber. Her middle felt a dull throb through it. She couldn't make up the voices and tried to slip into sleep again._

_The door slammed open, John was carried in by Arthur and laid next to her. She couldn't help but look into the fearful eyes of John, "You're gonna be okay. I know you will…" Her eyes rolled and shut under the pressure of weakness._

A man was screaming, Irish by the sounds of it. A deep painful screeching that made Tami wince, "They've found an O'Driscoll." His voice was weak and pitiful.

John lay in a cot directly next to Tami. His face covered in something slick and wet, but thankfully it wasn't blood.

"Oh John…" She whispered, "I wish I had known this is where we'd end up so soon. I could have prevented it. I tried to prevent Jenny's death."

"And nearly caused your own." John laid his head back and stared at the ceiling, "I didn't want to believe you. I thought it was all shit. Every time I thought of the snow, I would get fearful like a child, but I guess that's long past now. What you've got isn't a blessing, you know. It's a damn curse." His voice was bitter.

"I didn't ask for this. I never asked for any of this. It's killing me and I can't do anything to control it very well. I haven't been able to touch another person without fear in what feels like forever." Tami felt the weight of her self worth being pulled into question, "But I'm sorry. I should have thought more before just word vomiting."

"I guess I can take it." John scratched his neck, "Your apology, I mean."

Tami wanted to reply but sunk into sleep easily enough again.

"_You need to eat." Tami woke to see Susan over her. The large woman had sad eyes that glazed over her torn body. They were completely alone, "You need strength."_

_Tami felt a tear in the corner of her eye. The pain in her abdomen was very soft, but enough that she wanted to scream in pain, "I want to die."_

Crackling fire, the warmth of it. She was still alive. Tami opened her eyes against the pounding headache. Wind battered the door outside and swept into the cracks of the room. She felt utterly alone. Tears crept down her cheeks slowly at first. How could she be so stupid. The saying 'its too good to be true' fit here. She should have never applied for the damn project to begin with. As terrible as her life had been before, at least she would have never been in this position at all.

"Take it easy, you're gonna tear those stitches out." His voice. His damn voice. She grew mad at him. Her eyes turning to where he sat in the cot next to her. She wanted to scream at him, but paused as his emerald eyes locked with hers. He was scared… for her?

"My throat…" She coughed against the scratchy feeling. Her tongue threatened to turn to ash as she realized just how thirsty she was. Arthur grunted as he shifted forward enough to stand up. Boots hitting the floor with heavy thumps as the wet sound of a cup being filled hit her ears. When he returned, he slipped a hand behind her neck and pulled her head up. The cold water was hard to swallow at first. She could feel it dance down into her stomach. Her muscles spasmed and she choked on the water.

"Easy… You vomit and Susan's gonna be right pissed." He reached out to push her hair away from her face.

"Thanks." She murmured. Arthur simply nodded and laid her head down. Tami felt the weight of sleep return and embraced the new found friend eagerly. Arthur took a moment to stare down at her. His hand reached to feel the fever raging against her forehead again and swallowed hard.

* * *

**Recall Activated in**

**Three...**

**Two...**

"Don't you die on me. Don't you dare die on me!"

**One.**

_"She's waking up!" _

_"Help keep her stabilized."_

_"Tami don't go back to sleep alright?"_

_Her eyes refused to open. A dull throb of pain radiated from all over her body. Something was stuck into her throat and burned. It forced air into her lungs at a strange yet steady rhythm._

_"I'm here... I'm right here don't be scared." A voice she recognized but couldn't put a finger to it._

_Why shouldn't she be scared? Her limbs were tied down, and an electric pulse ran through her body causing her muscles to bunch and work under it._

_"Mateo, move! You shouldn't even be in here."_

_"Why not? I'm the only one she knows!" You said a friendly face would help her come back."_

_"She's not back just yet."_

_"Can we unhook her?"_

_"I don't know!"_

_A loud beeping noise finally broke through the mess of voices it matched the unsteady pounding in her chest. A hand swept over her body and yanked on her arm. Hot pain flashed through her mind as it tried to comprehend what was happening. Something inside of her felt wrong. The taste of blood filled her mouth as her body started to shake. Over the sudden yelling_ _panic that surrounded her she could hear __**HIM.**_

"I know it all seems hard. I've been where you are. No family to call my own. Having to scrape by on anythin' you can find. You have us now. Just breathe... Just live."

_His voice brought her peace, she wanted to look for him but the weakness in her body only got stronger._

_"Did he... Did Arthur just speak?"_

_"I thought she was out."_

_"The program is still running. Her mind is stuck between the game and here. She's awake, but not awake at the same time."_

_"How is this possible?"_

_"We didn't even fully know what this was going to do in the first place!"_

_"She's going to die."_

_"There's only one thing we can do."_

"Please, I ain't one for beggin', and I can't explain it. I need you to survive. I _need_ you."

_I need you too._

_"Try and send her back, it's all we can do..."_

_"How is this possible?"_

_"We coded in a connection. I think its trapping her with him. Trapping her in the game." _

_"Who fucking approved that!"_

**Entry in**

**Three...**

**Two...**

"That's it... Breath... Good girl."

**One.**

* * *

_"Arthur?" she croaked in a haze. Her mind felt like it was being sucked into a wormhole. Her body twisted painfully in all different directions as it tried to find out what the hell was happening._

_"I'm right here... I'll be right here."_

Something warm and wet swept over her abdomen. A very large headache bloomed in her head. Tami woke with little recollection of the days prior. It muddled together into a jumbled mess. She felt weak and in pain. Someone was humming softly as the warmth left to chill as cold air swept over it. Strangely enough it was Molly that stood over her. Red locks were pulled back in a hurried way as her small ivory hands moved the rag over her abdomen a second time.

"Thirsty." Tami managed to croak. Molly jumped suddenly and stared at the woman beneath her. She brought a cup of warmth to her lips. It was very bitter, but warm tea.

"Lavender, Peppermint, and a little bit of Rosemary. It will help your pain. Reduce the swelling somewhat." Molly brought a hand to Tami's head and felt eagerly, "Your fever is gone, and you've been healing well. I think you'll survive." She tried to sound lighthearted.

"I want to see." Tami whispered. Molly helped Tami sit up rather slowly and look down. The long line of stitches didn't look as bad as she would think with the pain. She could see the purple and yellow bruising around the tender slice through her skin bloom. Her hand reached down to touch it tenderly. The puckered skin was hard with scabbing along it.

"Don't. Infection could spread quiet easily right now." Molly placed her hand down and resumed her cleaning. She unrolled a few spools of white bandages and started to wrap them tightly against Tami's abdomen, "You need to try and take a few steps, eat something as well. You've been out for a week without anything to eat. We slipped what little soup we could and tried to get you to swallow."

"Why are you here?" Tami asked suddenly. Molly froze and looked deep into Tami's eyes.

"No one else thought you were going to survive."

"Stop your complaining, this will help." Molly tightened the corset a little more much to Tami's displeasure. The pain was already sharp, "Keep your innards in there while you heal." Molly teased softly. She pulled a simple brown dress from the chair next to them and held it high.

Tami raised her arms as far as she could with the discomfort. The heavy winter dress slid on easily enough, and with Molly's quick fingers the front was tied off tight enough it wouldn't slip too far. She pulled the dirty black mop on top of Tami's head back skillfully and made a proper bun out of it. Two dirty brown boots were slid over Tami's feet to end her torture, finally.

"See, trust me. I know a thing or two. Nobody really believes that I do." Molly grabbed onto Tami's arm and lead her out of the warm cabin into the cold. Snow crunching underfoot as they walked to a small fire near a lean to. The smell of food turned but enticed Tami's empty tummy all the same.

"She's awake!" Tilly jumped up first and rushed to the approaching women. Mary Beth was wrapping a fur shawl over her shoulders in seconds. John looked up from where he and Abigail sat, and Jack made one of his rare approaches to Tami. In his tiny fist was a wilted, but bright yellow flower. Susan approached with a tin cup in her hands. Voices started clouding one another in a fury.

"Are you okay?"

"How do you feel?"

"Can I see it?"

Tami held a hand to her middle but greeted everyone. She spotted Javier trying to move in as Karen waved a bottle of liquor. Dutch stood from his spot by the fire and offered the bow of his head in greetings. For one time in such a long time, Tami felt covered in strength. Hands grasped at her shoulders gently. Others covered her arms. A few patted her back, but all were mindful of the wound hidden beneath her clothing.

"I'm fine... I'll be okay. Really thank you." Tami felt Molly pull her hobbling form closer to the fire. Sitting was no easy task. Her middle wasn't so happy to be held tight, but the bitter tea that Susan had given her helped. It was of similar taste to the one Molly had also given her. Tami wasn't sure if it was all mental or just the tea, but the throbbing pain in her middle lessened.

The stew was very watery, and had very little substance when Tami finally grew the courage to eat. Her hands shook as her stomach recoiled at the sudden introduction of food. She felt the food try and come up. It pooled into her mouth before she forced herself to swallow it again.

"Look at that, Pearson. You've made her gag." Karen teased from where she sat nursing a bottle of alcohol.

"Bet that's the only time he's heard that." Tami chuckled weakly. Karen spit out her drink as the laughing started. Its direction of being towards Tami or Karen was unsure, but the sound brought comfort all the same.

A hand came on Tami's and she felt the blow of cold in her bones.

"_NO! NO! PLEASE!" Sadie was screaming as another man forced himself onto her. Tami was struck at the sudden horror that flashed in front of her eyes. Blood splashed the ground, and the dirty men were all jeering at the torn woman. It was so cold and hot at the same time. Flashes of pungent seat and blood slapped her nose._

Tami bent forward against the burning in her middle and gasped as a cold sweat broke out on her brow.

"Did I hurt you. I only meant to reach to refill your glass. I'm sorry." Sadie was even more beautiful in person. Her blond locks curled around itself, and face sported yellowish bruising. The laughter died as a silence filled the air. Tami had a horrified look on her face.

"I'm so sorry." Tami whispered brokenly. The stew dropped from her hands as she grasped at her head. Something was terribly wrong. A pounding deep within her skull that vibrated into her core.

"Get her to bed." Someone called. Tami vaguely had a feeling of someone forcing her to her feet. Her vision wavered in and out as she took steps. She whipped her head around to try and get some bearings about her. As whoever was helping her back into the cabin, she saw Arthur and Charles return on their horses. Two bucks in tow.

Immense hatred filled her as she remembered. She was stuck here because of him. Arthur Morgan was now the reason she couldn't go home, and she was absolutely loathed him for it. Her mind snapped as it tried to make sense of everything. The memory of waking in her own world grew fuzzy and soon distant. Fear echoed in her mind and thrummed through her body. She was was damn tired of being afraid.

* * *

"Hey there, they're tellin' me you're not eatin'." Arthur looked a bit awkward as he brought a bowl in.

"And you're here because?" Tami asked from where she lay. A single arm was covering her face. Her other hand was lightly scratching at a dull burning sensation in her middle.

"I've brought you some stew." He said and offered it to her. In a blind rage she sat up and slapped it out of his hands, "What the hell? Relax, it was just some food."

"Relax? You're telling me to relax! You're not even real! You're just code on a computer screen, a voice lent from a real man. You're not real! This place isn't even real, I want to go home and I can't because of you!" Tami was ripping her clothing off. The burning feeling in her abdomen was damn near impossible to ignore now.

"You're talkin' a bunch of nonsense. You need to calm your ass down. Look at yourself. That fever probably scrambled somethin' in there." Arthur took a step forward and grabbed her wrists to stop her as she ripped the bandages off of her body.

They gasped in unison. Her abdomen was pristine and smooth, too smooth. No bruising or wound to speak of. In fact, she looked alien. No scars, no freckles or moles, no hair, and not even a belly button. She shook as Arthur tightened his grip on her wrists. He nearly pulled her shoulders out of socket at the way he pulled her arms.

"What are you?" His voice shook from the sudden shock of her alien like appearance. Eyes swept over her body. Full hips, smooth skin with not a hair on it, pink nipples on firm breasts. In every sense she was human, yet not at the same time. A horrible feeling filled Tami as her mind seemed to break even further.

"It's me… I'm not real." She pulled her arms away to dig into her skin hoping to find something. Maybe like the terminator where he pulled his flesh back to expose a metal inside. Blood started to pour as she dug. Skin and blood started to gather under her nails as she grew hysterical.

"Stop it." Arthur hissed lowly and gripped her wrists again. He squeezed hard enough to feel her bones slide against one another. His eyes grew wide as he watched her skin stitch itself back together. Blood fading back into the skin as if it was never there. The only proof anything had happened was caked underneath her nails.

"You're a witch." He muttered and let go taking a step away from her in apprehension.

"I'm not a fucking witch. I am from a different place. I don't belong here. I'm stuck here and my only way out is with y'all. Once this is all over, I will wake up and be real again… I need to be real again." She sunk to her knees in tears staring at her arm. Her fingers pressed over the spot that should be bleeding heavily. Tami looked absolutely lost and helpless. Tears streamed down her cheeks. A whisper repeated itself on her lips.

"_I need to be real."_

A heavy knock came from the door, "Everything okay in there?" The door went to open, but Arthur put a heavy hand on it to shut it hard.

"They'll kill me." Tami whispered to herself more than anything. She clutched her hands to her chest, "I'll die here."

"How do you know I won't." Arthur replied with a hard look into her eyes.

"You're part of them." Was her only reply. She dug her nails into her arms and hung her head.

Something prevented Arthur from pulling his gun and shooting her then and there. He ground his teeth together and narrowed his eyes at her. A decision was made.

"It's fine." Arthur spoke in a low calculated tone.

"I heard yelling." The voice replied

"I said it's fine, you deaf?" A hand left the door and the sound of boots very slowly retreated from the door.

"I don't know who you are, or what the hell you've done to me. But get dressed and get gone. I don't care where you go. Get out of my camp. This is the only chance you get before I put a bullet between those pretty little eyes." He opened the door and left with a slam behind him.

Tami curled into herself on the floor. Her body was now covered in the stew she had thrown. She lay and cried trying to figure out where to go.

Under the cover of night Tami mounted Balefire with everything she could gather. Something in her heart told her this was the right move to make, even if it was forced. She could wait it out. It had to take a year tops until the game would rightfully end. It broke her heart to leave, but now it was mandatory. She only took what was rightfully hers. The crisp night air was refreshing to her.

Thankfully it wasn't too long before she was out of the snow. However, her relief was short lived as the sound of howling started behind her. Balefire whined as her heels dug into his flanks. The padding of paws after them was causing fear to rise at an exceptional rate, "You can do this boy, it's alright." Tami tried to hide the fear in her voice. Not even two hours ago she was safe and warm. Now she was running from a pack of angry wolves cold and wet.

The shadow of a walking man on the road barely registered as Tami raced past him. She tried to shield her ears against the wet tearing sound that started to get drowned out by his screaming. She wished she could just crawl into herself as tears started down her cheeks.

* * *

Tami knew she had to move after sitting in the Valentine hotel for three days. Her legs and rear whined from her night time rides, a feeble attempt at scouting out for any sign of the Van Der Linde gang. A single piece of paper lay on the rugged table of the hotel with a few different words and plans penned onto it. Her power could be used to swindle people, sure. But she would be putting herself at risk without any real defense. However, Saint Dennis was full of gullible rich people.

Melancholy followed her as she mounted up on Balefire a complete mess. Her hands rubbed her temples as an idea began to form in her head. With a slight smile of hope Tami started her journey out of Valentine and onto a hopefully better life for now. She passed a missing poster on a post, but didn't think twice after reading it.

"Thomas Downs, missing since Monday!"


	8. Flying High in Saint Denis

It has been around five months since Tami had left the gang behind. Her waiting wasn't too terrible as she had created her own luxurious lifestyle in the time. Her given ability seemed to be much more than first assumed and her time to explore it made her grow very apt with it.

Along with knowing almost anything she desired with a single touch, she could influence others. The doorway seemed to be much wider than originally thought. With her control of it gave her a certain ability to shut it off when needed. Almost like a switch in her own mind.

Her first few weeks building up a reputation was hard. Barely anyone wanted anything to do with a haggard looking woman offering fortunes for a buck. Thankfully it wasn't so long that Her fake name was on everyone's lips. A stage name, she had decided to use to entice others. When she had been offered a permanent spot to do shows at the local theater, she knew everything was set.

From then on, her life was easy. Private showings were selling for hundreds of dollars, and the theater paid her very well for the crowd she brought in. There wasn't a person in Saint Dennis that didn't know of the woman named Destiny. With a bank full of money and anything she had ever wanted; it was almost sad to think of going back to whatever life she had before. Not that she had many concrete memories of it now, but she knew it was real and had a strong pull to go back.

Her hotel room was as lavish as possible. Balefire was looked after as if he were gold. She started wearing fine jewelry and silks to look exotic in public, but stayed with normal jeans and shirt while at home. It was rather lonely and she found herself devouring books upon books and investing in records to spend most of her free time. Tami was pleasantly surprised at how everything seemed to work out in her genie for once. She basked in the glory of her newfound fame, but always kept one eye open.

Papers flooded her tables. Anything that mentioned the Van Der Linde gang was kept as close as possible. Tami wasn't a part of them anymore, but still needed to keep tabs on how they were doing and where she was within the time. She didn't realize how long everything was truly going to take, but currently enjoyed her time as best as she could.

Tami had her eyes on her newest newspaper as she settled in for a cup of morning tea. A bank robbery in Valentine had gone off. She knew where they were now. A flash of light appeared in the corner of her eye. It was almost blinding and forced her to cover her eyes.

A slim tan man stood completely naked in front of her. His short curly black hair was cut short on the sides, but let the curls bloom from the crown of his head. He took time inspecting his hands and arms. Curling each individual finger slowly and with purpose. Tami's mouth dropped as her eyes swept over his form. He was incredibly smooth like herself. A lack of bellybutton evident from a single glance. His face brought ears to her eyes as recognition hit her full force.

"Mateo!" She scrambled to her feet and reached out with a shaky hand.

"A… second… give me… a…" He tried to take a step but fell on his weak legs.

Her hands slipped under his armpits in an attempt to help him up, "Just breath. Relax, remember?" His hands slipped as he tried to grip her arms. Tears of shock and happiness flowed down her face. She touched his body and scoured for information from it, but it was as if nothing could come from him. No past, no future… like he didn't exist.

"Wow… this is… much harder than I thought." He gasped for breath. Her hands touched his face as she searched his blue eyes for answers. She watched his fear and exhaust in them.

"Are you thirsty? Hungry? Is everything okay?" Her eyebrows lifted as she rushed her words out. Excitement and worry hopped through her heart like a dance.

"Water?" He asked, "I didn't expect to feel thirsty here." He laughed bitterly. She nodded and let him stand. She ran to a metal bin and turned the tap. Water poured into a glass slowly. It wasn't fully clean, but it would do. When she returned he guzzled the water happily.

"Clothes… You need.." Tami started to babble once more.

"Stop." He commanded sternly. His hands gently wrapped around her shoulders. A sly smile on his lips, "I know your mind is racing right now. I've been watching you for months. I…" He groaned as a drop of blood trickled down his nose. Tami used the cloth of her shirt to wipe what she could away.

"It's okay, it happens." She reassured.

"No, it's not okay. It's already happening to me." Mateo looked deeply into her eyes and caused her to stop. Her entire being fell as her heart seemed to stop dead.

"What happened to me…"

Mateo was uncomfortable in Tami's clothes. They were slightly too small for him, and the jeans cut into his hips. The basic cotton shirt almost rose to expose his midriff. She sat across from him and sipped on her tea with a fidgety nervous nature. He sat with his hands together and a glum look on his face.

"I'm going to explain this as well as I can." He started and she shifted to cross her legs. The nearly hollow feeling in her chest expanded to her limbs. The weightless yet heavy feeling in her limbs was disorientating.

"Your brain is like a chemical computer. It has short electrical bursts inside that relay information between your neurons. Following me so far?" He asked.

"I took a little of psychology before dropping out of college." Tami admitted and held her cold tea tightly.

"Well the connections we have on your body give short bursts of electricity into your body to help replicate this for the purpose of giving you control and simulation in here. Our brains are very adept at adapting to its environment to keep us alive. Your brain is assimilating… adapting in ways we didn't expect. This was never meant for long time use." His hands shook as another drop of blood started to trickle down his nose.

"I thought I couldn't leave because of a code. Someone tied me with Arthur?" She questioned and cocked her head.

"We took that code out long ago. It was supposed to make you invaluable to him so he wouldn't kill you, but rather protect you. A little after you were reintroduced in fact. The simulation is refusing to end now. Your pretty stuck until you end this." Mateo shook his head and gave a slight shrug.

Tami pulled a hand to her chest and took in a breath. If the code was removed then Arthur could have easily sit her all those weeks ago. He could have truly killed her if he wanted to. Did that mean he didn't want to kill her deep down?

"I'd say this is pretty damn long." Tami sneered and took a sip of her cold drink, "Why are you getting nosebleeds so frequently? I only got those when I used my powers too much, but I've been getting better with them. Hell, I can even heal like a superhuman now."

"Listen to you... powers, superhuman." He scoffed lightly, "It's a code, we've made it stronger to benefit you. As for your healing, your brain is becoming one with the game. I mean Arthur can take eighteen bullets and be fine. The only time long term damage is applied has been coded to be that way. Your brain is being assimilated, if it gets too far, we don't know if we can ever save you." He sighed and held his head as a headache formed behind his eyes.

"Your muscles are being stimulated constantly in the outside world. You are going to get stronger, faster. It's not magical. It's just byproduct of what is happening out there." He pointed up and she closed her eyes.

"Here it's basically magic so cut it, please. This isn't just a game anymore. It's an entire world. The people here eat, sleep, cry, and shit like normal humans." Tami reached out.

"Really, they are just codes in a program. Nothing more." His head felt like it was going to split open. His hands reached up to rub his temples, "I need to go. They are telling me I've been in too long."

"You've just been here a few minutes. Why can't I hear them?" Tami looked around as if something would appear.

"The program is corrupt. A few minutes may be too long. We will be watching you. Be careful." Mateo closed his eyes and waited. Seconds trickled by and nothing happened. And then she saw it.

He fell to his hands and knees. Blood started pouring from his nose and pooled in his mouth. His eyes bulged as he scratched at his chest. Tami's eyebrows furrowed as she fell to her knees. Tea spilling over her body as she scrambled to help him. His blue eyes looked at her in horror. Blood was splattering the wood as he wheezed in an attempt to breath.

When the first breath came out of his body he cried. Hot tears fell down his face. However, unlike Tami, Mateo wasn't alone. She knelt by him and wiped his face over and over. Whispering soft words into his ear until he could respond.

"I... I can't."

"Shhhh, it's okay. Let's get you cleaned up." Tami started wiping his face as he started to gasp for breath. His body relaxed as much needed air filled his lungs.

"Is this what happened to you, shit. I'm so sorry." Mateo's eyes filled to the brim with tears.

"Keep your words. Come with me. You need a bath."

Tami stood in front of a floor length mirror and admired her appearance. Purple painted her eyes with a cat wing in black. A slip of white near her tear ducts and ice blue lips made her look from another world. Her hair was spun into a braid with beads places here and there on loose strands near the tip to clang around when she walked. Her black fancy shirt has intricate silver stitching, and she tucked many silk scarves of numerous colors into her pants to give the illusion of a strange yet pretty skirt.

Mateo laid on her large bed and snored loudly. She saw a piece of herself in him now. His confusion, apprehension, and denial were everything she had felt before. His fear was the very thing she had learnt to battle with. Her heart wretched inside of her chest as she watched him turn and groan. When her carriage arrived for her performance, she went to informed the driver of her cancelation. Feigning sickness. Tami had once been in Mateo's shoes. One thing she had always remembered was the crippling loneliness and devastation.

The smell of the city wasn't everything one would hope. Countryside had a sweet nurturing scent, and lullabies performed every hour of the day. However, the scent of rancid piss mixed with gas in the air made one's stomach turn. Before she could get a single word out a man bumped into her. His eyes washed over her in apprehension.

"Pardon me, Miss." He said with the tilt of his head.

"Of course." Tami spoke in a low calculated voice. Instead of returning into the hotel she slipped into the carriage. Worry caused her fingers to curl onto themselves as the man kept walking at a reasonable pace. A slight hope that he wouldn't recognize her under all of the glamour on her body.

Hosea stared after her and ducked into an alleyway where John sat smoking in peace, "She's here."

* * *

"The one and only DESTINY!" The crowd stood to clap as Tami entered onto the stage. She pulled the long silk scarf skirt around her body to look like she was neatly floating on air. Eyes trained onto her as gasps and whispers started around, "She has correctly told to future of many a man and woman, some finding wealth, others finding adventure." The soft ooh through the crowd petted Tami's ego nicely, "Now, Miss Destiny do you feel anything from the crowd tonight, anything pulling you a certain way."

Smoke and mirrors are a term in the 'magic' world. While Tami's ability was very real, the slip of information never hurt. Cold reading was not a strong suit of hers, but there was always someone in the crowd who wanted it to be real.

"I sense a mission amongst many of you." Tami spoke from low in her belly. Her lessons of throwing her voice creating a stronger control of her sound. Her heeled boots clicked on the wood as she started to pace at the front of the stage. Lights nearly blinding her as they followed her form. It was hard to see the crowd, but the silence told her they were taken with her, "However it is not money or love that draws me today. It's a person. A missing person to be more precise."

"My daughter!" A woman yelled from the crows, "She's run off and I haven't a word of her." Tami fought the smirk from her lips and simply bowed her head.

"She was in love?" Tale as old as time. A young woman running off to be with a man whom her parents don't agree with. It was an easy pattern to fall into. Keeping with the news wasn't hard to do either. Just a few lines to read and current events were always at the forefront. It was only a matter of time before they seeked her. Tami found herself enjoying her time in this place more and more.

"Yes yes... I just want to know if she is alright."

"Please, have a seat." Tami bowed and lifted a hand to a table on the stage. Covered in purple silk with a crystal ball on it for show. Two plush red seats were set across from each other. A soft clapping rose from the crowd as a shadow appeared from beyond the light. Tami reached for the woman's hand and helped her onto the stage. A cold bite rushed into her body as she searched for information.

A beautiful young woman sat red faced in front of her parents. Her hands balled into fists, "But I love him."

"You won't marry some gold miner!" The father slapped his fists down. The mother jumped slightly at the man's temper.

"I would rather marry him. The banker is cruel to me. George is sweet and wants to take care of me."

Tami's lips curled into a smile. This was as easy as it could get. Tami pushed her own idea into the woman's head before setting her down. A glassy look came over the woman's eyes.

Listen to my voice... Your daughter is fine... She was always fine... My voice is soothing to you...

When Tami's hand retreated before sat the woman looked at peace. The tears that had started to gather in her eyes were nearly completely dry. A fog started around their feet as slim hands circled the ball over dramatically. Gasping surrounded the theater as Tami rolled her eyes back in a great show. She pulled her voice from the very depths of her belly and spoke.

"Your daughter is with a good man now; they will have many children and be happy. She will live a long and full life. Don't search for her, or her world will crumble at her feet."

* * *

"What a wonderful show!" The introducer waved his hand towards Tami and she lowered herself into a bow. A roar of applause met her ears causing a smile to form on her lips. However, one pair of hands stuck out as the clapping came to a slow halt.

A loud slow clap brought Tami's head up from her bow. The hand holding her glass ball tightened in fear as she saw him. Black hair slicked back and smirk plain on his face. Dutch Van Der Linde was standing front and center. His large hands coming together in very slow and loud claps. Tami's heart raced as she saw the craze touch his eyes. Without a second thought she gathered the silk skirts and ran.

His laugh followed her as she ran through the back door and nearly ran into two men standing there with lazy grins. John and Charles stood side by side to keep her from a proper escape. Her shoulders dropped as she gave a sigh, "Fuck, I should have known."

"Miss me?" John asked with a quirked eyebrow.

Tami gripped the glass ball in her hand before lobbing it at John. He let out a grunt and bent over to catch the blood that started spilling from his mouth. Before she could run, Charles put two arms around her shoulders.

"How are the kids?" Tami asked with a side eye at Charles.

"What kids?" He asked with a raised brow.

She flung her leg up to meet his groin with everything she had. He grunted and let her go. With a flip of her wrist, Tami pulled the silk skirts out from where they were tucked into her jeans and threw them over the momentarily distracted men. Like a shot she was off.

She placed her fingers in her mouth and whistled hard. Balefire in all his magnificence came running and she used their momentum to jump onto his saddle and ride like a bat out of hell. Someone yelled behind her, but she kept going. At this point, riding for her life. The slam of another body against her caused her to shake and turn her head.

"Hola, chikita. Long time no see." Javier gave a smug grin as he pulled his horse close to hers. He used his whining horse to try and knock her down once again.

"I'd rather we never meet again." She spit out and pulled her reigns hard. Balefire screamed as the bit pulled into his mouth. The alleyway to their left was tight and the turns sharp. With a mighty swallow in her throat she didn't have time to weigh her options further and forced her horse down it.

"If it's a race you want, I'll surely win this time." Javier yelled in a light hearted nature. Tami ducked for speed as she heard the hooves behind her gaining, "Don't make me use my lasso, rope burns aren't very appealing." His quips were almost funny enough to make her laugh. Well, she would have laughed if the fear of being killed wasn't currently running through her.

Wind nearly drowned out his voice as she broke free from the alleyway into a packed walkway. She would have rolled her eyes at how very cinematic this all seemed if it weren't for a notorious gang on her heels, "Move!" She yelled out as Balefire barreled down the walkway. People scrambled and yelled as they jumped from the way. A barrel of water tipped over and hit a vendor selling fruit. The food scattered the ground and made Tami chuckle lightly. If she didn't know she was in a game, she would think she was in a movie. All that was missing was the... fuck.

Hosea looked down at her from where he sat on the carriage blocking her escape, "Of fucking course, come on!" Tami slipped from her horse and looked back to see Javier chuckle from his own mount, "I guess we're going full escape scene here then?" She tossed to a confused looking Hosea. She threw herself into the carriage and grunted at the pain in her shoulder. As she expected Hosea took off down the cobblestone streets. She turned her head to see Arthur sitting in the back with a gun drawn, "What? You gonna shoot me? This all your idea?" She spit harshly. He didn't move an inch.

"Dutch would like to speak with you." He spoke in a low drawl.

"Give him my condolences then." She reached for the other door as he wrapped his arms around her. The gun slipped to their feet as she struggled and grunted against his arms. There wasn't much room to try and maneuver around. Wood groaned as their weight was thrown around. Her hand grasped at his clothes to find anything she could scratch or pinch. One of his hands snaked to try and grab at her throat. A wheel crunched as a harsh bump caused them to fly in the air. Tami scrambled for the gun and turned to point it at Arthur. He glared at her from under his hat as she took in a breath.

"Gonna shoot me, then?" His eyebrows raised as she shoved the gun into his hands.

"A life for a life." she spit the threw the door open. Tucking her knees, she rolled out of the carriage. Pain battered her entire body as the stone dug into her limbs. She scrambled to her feet and limped to the nearest man in blue she could find, which was thankfully not too far away. As soon as she opened her mouth, he pulled her head down and lifted a gun to shoot behind her. Tami turned to see three masked men riding at a blinding speed towards them, guns drawn.

"Are you kidding me." She muttered before taking another alleyway. A dead end. Stairs to the right would be a choice, but the pain in her legs warned against running. This one wasn't as populated, but had a sturdy looking doorway and a deep shadow within it. She glanced behind her to see no one before ducking inside and curling her body as tightly as she could.

It wasn't long before she heard them talking amongst themselves. A pair of boots came down next to her. Blue eyes met another set of blue eyes. Two pink scars kept his black stubble from growing fully over his chin.

"Please." She whispered as John pulled his lips in. His eyes wavered a little as he looked down at her broken, bloodied form. He lowered his gaze and turned around. Tami closed her eyes at the sound of approaching boots.

"She's not here." John sighed.

"She probably escaped up those stairs then. Come on." Charles spoke in a drawn tone.

Tami met John's face before he left. He didn't turn to acknowledge her as the sound of rushing boots left her. She sat in a curled ball of silence for as long as she could. When nightfall had started to set and people started to fade from the streets Tami stood from where she had hidden. Her body was cramped and sore.

* * *

"No Mateo, this is serious okay. I have money. A lot of money in the bank here. Maybe I can come back for it. For now, we just need to leave. I can get us a..." Tami was scrambling around like a mad woman. She pulled stacks of cash from different places and starting shoving random things into bags.

"Stop." He commanded in a serious tone, " They're not going to kill you."

"Yes they are, I mean.." She shook her head and folded her arms

"Just listen to me for a second. If they wanted you dead, you'd be dead. You said Charles tried to grab you instead of stab or shoot you. We need to finish this game and get out. If they're out looking for you it would take up time... Time we don't have." He tried to ground her racing mind.

"No... fuck no. You're insane. We can go back down to Blackwater, they can't go there."

"I'm insane, look at you!" They both paused to look at eachother.

"You know something." Tami's words were drawn out.

"I've been here all of a few hours and I know something, look at yourself. Paranoia does not become you. If they are looking for you, they will find you. It's better to go with them willingly that's all." Mateo raised his hands having said his piece.

"Why are they in Saint Denis? They just did the Valentine bank robbery. They shouldn't be so close yet. Camp should be in the Cove now." She shook her head and grabbed desperately for an explanation.

"It's because of you!" Mateo boomed suddenly. She felt small under his harsh gaze, "When I said your brain was being assimilated to the game I didn't mean it was just you was changing. The game is too. It's taking your feelings, emotions, it's taking YOU into account now. Like you were in here the whole damn time. It thinks now. The people act different now. You're affecting all of it. Davey is alive. He's NOT supposed to be. The gang's here to search for you even if their base is in the Cove because Dutch needs you for whatever. It's gone off script, completely."

"Davey is alive?" She sat down as shock overtook her.

"Listen to yourself. This is getting dangerous. Not just guns and bullets dangerous. I mean this could end up perminate. You need to go to them..."

"I'm leaving." She said harshly, "I'm going to Valentine for a week in case you change your mind. After that I will leave and I won't come back." Tami slung her bag over her shoulder and started for the door. She hesitated and listened for steps to follow her, but they never came, "I guess this is goodbye then." She whispered before leaving. Mateo fell to his knees and brought fingers to his aching head. Blood trickled down his nose slowly as he watched her leave.

"Goodbye." He whispered after her. His hope dwindling into a tiny spark that could easily be blown out.


	9. Fate is a Bitch

Cold, wet, musty, dark, cramped; all of these words described where ever in hell Tami woke up in. She couldn't remember why or how she got there. Her fucking head hurt like hell though. Cold seeped into her body, but not in the way she had grown used to. It had a harsh bite and made her shiver. Fingers and toes barely responded as she tried to bend them. She shifted to sit up in the pitch-black area she noticed she was completely naked.

Panic filled every pore of her body and spilled from her eyes in the form of hot tears that felt like they burnt her cold cheeks, "Hello?!" She screamed in desperation, "Is anyone there!" Her voice echoed in her own head. The silence that followed was deafening. If she listened hard enough, she swore she could hear a ringing in her ears from it.

Time was strange in this dark place. Her hands wiped over every damp wall in an attempt to find a door. But it was as if there was none. Four slots into wall where a door could have been was paved flat. Not even a dip where a nob would sit was found. She paced the floor again. Her bare feet almost didn't register feeling with how cold they got. A painful snap in them with every step as the blood flow tried desperately to keep her warm. Eventually she gave up and curled herself into a corner, "Someone... please."

_"Wake up."_

Tami's eyes snapped open. She sat up and looked around for the voice in a flurry. The white mare named Snow looked up from where she was standing nearby. A little peace washed over Tami as she realized the voice was just in the dream. Embers from a dying fire cracked as the wood splintered. The feeling of loneliness didn't go away as she woke. In fact it festered inside of her chest. A bright moon shown the world around her, but she still felt trapped in that room with no door.

Tami focused on the fire. Trying desperately to get the dream out of her head. She thought of anything and everything she could, but in the end her mind returned to that room. Her nose could still pick it up in the air, body cold as ice. Spare wood hit the embers causing a flair of sparks to shower across the rings of rocks that kept it from spreading. Dry brush was fed into the dying fire and allowed it to eat away until it was once again at full force. Her mind raced against the voice. It was male and clearly not hers. Was someone able to contact her from the outside world?

It was something she had given up long ago, but felt a sudden need to try again, "You there? I don't know exactly who I'm talking to but... Hey there?"

_Yeah, I'm here, where ever here is._

Her eyes lit up as she curled herself closer to the fire, "How soon can I go home?"

_I really don't know how to answer that question._

The voice was strangely familiar. It rattled inside her head instead of being a voice in the air. She pushed her hands closer to the fie in hopes of absorbing its heat faster. Whatever presence was around her was fading slowly, like a battery that was nearly empty, "Can you help me? Like Mateo did?"

_I have been._

The link snapped and she felt it coil around her mind as the other end fell empty, "Thank you, I guess." Mateo had told her they could still hear her even if she couldn't hear them. Morning sun started peeking over the horizon. Lack of sleep was getting to her tired body. Mind ran off in separate directions. Tami wanted to go back and get her friend. Even if they weren't so close, he was all she had from her own world, but she knew she couldn't. He still had ties to the outside world. They would help him like they did to her until he couldn't be helped anymore.

Crackers crunched dryly as she tried to get them into her turning stomach. Once again fully alone. Even Balefire had been lost in her escape. The tiny mare that was her newest companion didn't offer the same comfort the stallion had. She was just a cheap pony bought in panicked need. Balefire seemed to have a deeper bond within him. His big eyes and the gentle way his head would bump her reminded her of a comfort she lost. However, death scared her. A deep need to protect herself selfishly against anything that would kill her drove her to abandon anything and run. Running was all she had known and drew comfort in it, no matter how small.

Tami used a finger to draw in the dirt at her feet under the rising sun. A small smile curled her lips at how out of practice she was. The vase appeared warped as she drew the stem of the rose that would come out of it. Passing some time until she would eventually be forced to continue on to Valentine. Truthfully, she wasn't too sure about where she was. Taking twists and turns deep into a forest like area trying to cover her trail in case she was followed. Even the map that was stuck inside her mind provided little to help. It wasn't as if it included a large blinking dot that said 'you are here'.

It was when the sun had fully risen that she was able to take in where she was in all of its glory. A breath left her suddenly as she stood. Her hands reaching out for the torn campsite. Horseshoe Ridge was heartbreaking to finally see. Torn cloth, broken poles, and old pots littered the ground. They had left in such a hurry that a single chest lay cracked at the edge as if it had fallen.

Wood creaked and snapped as she lifted the lid. A pout formed on her lips at the sight of men's clothes. Her hands dig through the garments and pulled out a few slivers of fresh items. Her bright purple shirt would stand out more clearly than a basic black shirt. A red vest that looked like it had better days caught her eye. She remembered it vaguely. A pair of nearly too long jeans would easily slip from her hips, but it had a simple leather belt attached. At least she could try it. She shuffled through the clothing in an attempt to find anything else. An old wilted hat would do as she had nothing to help her hair for now.

At the bottom of the chest her fingers grazed something hard. With a mighty pull through the now disheveled clothes an old leather-bound book emerged. Curiously, Tami opened it to see it wasn't a book. The pages lined with stories. Back to front every page was nearly full with only one third of the book left blank. Tami almost closed it as she noted multiple entrees, she had read a hundred timed already in another world. And then she saw herself in it. The drawing wasn't super high quality, but the sketching was done very well. Small details of her sleeping face panicked her. An inscription under it caught her attention.

_"I know I need to protect this new woman for Dutch, but I am having thoughts that are not my own. At least I don't think they are mine. A voice in my own head that seems strange, a feeling I haven't had since Mary. She confuses me. Her attitude always changing. A push and pull to her nature that draws one in only to cast them away again. Perhaps I am just imagining it all."_

Was this Arthur's journal? Her heart skipped a beat involuntary; the pages made a rustling noise as she slammed it closed. It shouldn't matter who wrote it. Drawing someone while they are sleeping is creepy. She chastised her swelling heart and scowled. That bastard almost killed her twice already. Tami wanted to fling it away, but curiosity had her pushing it into her satchel. At least he was nice enough to leave her a change of clothes.

The water was still chilly when Tami started to soak herself into the water. Even without proper soap she could at least get the dust and dirt off of her body, and the residual paint from the day before off of her face. Tami was stark naked in the middle of a river. She was shivering as she rushed to get every ounce of grit off of her body. Her hair was tied on top of her head to keep it from getting wet. After her quick dip and pulled on the men's clothes she had procured. They were baggy and the pants took a few rolls before even her toes poked through, but it kept her warm. The torn camp was in a secluded part she had to admit. It would provide a safer place than Valentine. Being in town was starting to turn her stomach sour. If they could find her in Saint Denis when they weren't even supposed to be, they could most likely find her somewhere they weren't supposed to go back.

By midday she was sitting against a tree, smelling vaguely of tobacco and soap. Snow was nickering something off hand and nibbling at the last of the hay that showered the slumped horse posts. After raiding what was left of the food supplies, Tami was eating a few overly salted dried jerky. Her free hand held Arthur's journal as she devoured what she could from it. Her fingers slipped the pages as she finished them. Most of the inscriptions at the beginning were things she had already known. Then she saw it. Her mouth dropped as she read fully intrigued.

_"I've always heard stories of angels and demons. I guess I've never thought of it so deeply before. Watching such a 'godly' man such as Swanson flounder about hasn't quite made any impact with such things. However, I think I've seen one today. Of which side, I am unsure. It had deeply shaken me to see her standing there. Untouched, though she should be bleeding; unmarked, as if not from this world; and unnatural, she was not from a mother. She says she is an orphan, but speaks of things that are not from here. A computer or a code, words that mean nothing to me, but she spoke as if it were valuable. Speaking as if I was not real. Her realization and desperation once she saw her own form was... confusing. She was helpful as an angel would be, but secretive as if she were a demon. As of now, I don't know what to believe. I could have shot her. I felt in inside me, but this time there was something else stopping me. The fear in her eyes and voice reminded me that she was still in human form. For now, I don't care either way. I just want her gone."_

Tami paused her chewing and soaked in everything that she could. Angels and Demons? The thought would have made her laugh in his face, but something stopped her. It made sense in a way. He was trying to wrap his mind around her in a way that put the pieces together in his own mind. Her hand dropped her jerky as she found another story that made her gasp.

_"John has confided in me last night. At first I thought it was drunken nonsense, but now... He saw her in dreams long before she left. Little images at first. Enough to trick him into thinking it was his own mind doing it, but now he isn't so sure. Then he saw her face. It was contorted in pain. Tubes showed down her throat and something he wasn't sure of attached to her body. He sees flashes of it in his dreams. He sees her walking along cobblestone streets full of life and civilization. Nothing like the towns here, but something much bigger. At nights he is pulled into nightmares alongside her. Only waking after he is able to convince to wake herself..."_

Tami slammed the journal closed and tried to calm her crazy breathing. The voice that would wake her from nightmares was always faint. She had assumed it was from those outside. Her sweaty fingers clung to her hair as she attempted to push the locks out of the way. No one had informed her of what this meant. Confusion peppered with raw fear clung to her heart as she frantically tried to make sense of it. She turned the pages again, burying the note under separate leaves of paper until she stopped again.

_"Saint Denis, John says it looks exactly like his dreams. She must be here. Dutch seems a bit off lately, but his reasoning for her to be here makes sense. He wants to know. I think in truth we all want to know. There is danger in playing with such things. Like fire almost. It provides security and warmth, but get to close and it will burn you... sometimes to death. Swanson has rattled off about prophets. I haven't told any of them what I have seen of her. Is it bad that I want to play with fire as well? A sin perhaps, but I suppose I've sinned too much to care at this point. We are going to try and scout her out in a few weeks. I have an unnerved feeling that she may kill us all. To fear such beauty and power is natural. To want to wield it is natural as well I suppose."_

"I'm so sorry, Arthur. I didn't know." Tami placed a hand to her chest as she read. The pain he felt jumped from his words. His own confusion truly evident. There were feelings brewing inside of him that wouldn't be there if she weren't here. Shouldn't be there in all actuality. In the deepest parts of herself, Tami wished she could wipe away all of his pain. She wished she could absolutely obliterate it. The twist to every mind in camp was growing evident. Her presence was altering them all in terrible ways. His last entry was short, and next to it sat a heavily detailed picture.

_"We saw her today."_

The picture of her was from the back of the theater. She could see the heads of the crowd among the outline. The sketching around her body was a dark black, and her face seemed to shine from the darkness. The way it was drawn it almost looked like she was the only light in the dark outline around her. Tami lent forward and took it in deeper.

The grass shifted as a large weight sat down with a thump. Clearing of a throat made Tami freeze absolutely still as a hand reached for the journal, "Didn't anyone ever teach you not to take what doesn't belong to you? What am I going to do with you?" He sighed and snapped the book shut as he took it. They sat still for a while. Wind picked up, spraying the warm muggy air over them.

"I'm not as good at hiding as I thought I was." She sighed and looked over to see him staring down at her. His deep emerald eyes were just looking. Studying her intently. No trace of emotion. The heat of his body was so close. If she even wiggled to the side, she would be flush against him.

"Well, this would have been a good hiding spot if I hadn't needed to come back for this." He held his journal up and turned his head to look at it, "Guess I don't need to ask how you knew camp was here." His eyes trailed back to Tami. She bunched her muscles, contemplating if she should run or not, "You okay?" He asked softly.

"No, I'm not okay. You terrify me." She admitted honestly. Her hands gripped at her knees as her hair ticked her face in the wind.

"The feelin's mutual." He thumbed his journal. They were quiet for a few seconds before she started laughing. Her hands covered her cheeks as she bent over her knees in laughter. Arthur raised an eyebrow, "Somethin' funny?"

"You're literally a trained killer. You live in a camp full of people who can kill with their eyes closed, and you are scared of me? I haven't even shot a gun once since I've been here." She pointed out.

"That right there… that's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Since you've been here. You said yourself you're not from here. Apparently real far away." He raised his eyebrows and shook his head.

She laid her cheek on her knees and looked up at him from her posture, "I'm not immortal, I'm not all knowing, and I'm defiantly not celestial. I'm just a human. A fucked up shell of one, but I'm human none the less. Like you." Her hand rested on his. Once again, she couldn't see into his mind. It felt like a damp cloth over her eyes. Unlike Mateo, his mind felt real. He truly existed, but her ability was trapped in herself.

"What do you see?" He asked with curiosity. He watched her brows furrow as her hand retreated.

"Nothing, that's what's so strange about you. I never was able to read you." She looked into the palm of her hand and he stared at her. He couldn't be fully sure if she was telling the truth or not.

"Why is that?" He asked and captured her hand in his own. He looked at the lines in it. A few tiny pink scars appeared on the back of her hands and within the palm. The moon shapes telling it was her own nails that had done it.

"I don't know. Normally I can read anyone at all. I just touch their skin, but with you… I…"

"Try again." He actually wanted it to work for some strange reason. As if he were the only one in the world that could not get a gift. He felt a little cheated once the reality of it came out. He moved her fingers to his cheek and closed his eyes on concentrating. Perhaps it was his own closed mind keeping her from him.

Tami pushed down the squeak in her throat at the sudden feel of his face under her palm. The stubble on his chin moved as she trembled. She was all too aware that this new position had forced her to lean towards him, opening her throat to any attack should he decide to do so. Her fingers moved along the lines of his cheek as her thumb trailed his chin. Arthur's face was slightly pinched in concertation. The damp feeling gave way to a gentle bite of cold.

"Relax." She breathed. The closeness of their bodies not lost on her. While he was dangerous it wasn't hard to see how handsome he was. The promise of strength and protection to any ally also meant certain death for an enemy. With her words, his face relaxed. He let his shoulders slump slightly as he focused on the feeling of her soft fingers against his face.

Cold bit into Tami slowly. It seeped in like a heavy rain and trickled down her spine. It caused to shiver as it fed her something different. Emotions? It tasted like wild cherry tinged with a slight bitter lemon aroma. Passion was first. He was passionate about his gang. Fierce in the need to keep those close to him alive and happy. Sadness at the loss of his woman and child. Bitterness at the loss of Mary. Brash anger with the wild ambition to back it up. Uncertainty in his own self. Hidden amongst it all was a tiny flame of hope. It was a tender thing, hope. Though tiny it burned with the ferocity of a hundred suns. Fueled by the life around him.

The overload of emotions hit Tami like a punch in the gut. She took in a deep gasp as it made her tremble. Her fingers growing harder against his skin in want… no… _need. _Something came forward as she dug harder. Fear… fear of the unknown… fear of her. Alongside it came a morbid curiosity tied with… attraction? Feelings that were not hers coursed through her veins. She craved this. Something inside of her growling for more. More contact, more feeling, more intimacy, more of _him._

Her lips made contact before she realized it. His lips were spicy and warm. Arthur's hand trailed to her neck before he could stop himself. Neither fully committing himself to her mouth, yet not pulling away. The needs of a man flew forward before his rational mind could pull them back. It was only when she pulled her hand from his face to grip his shirt did she break out of her own spell and pull back. Breathing was torn as she came to. Faces inches away from one another as eyes met. Hers full of confusion and need, his slightly amused yet equally as confused.

"I didn't think Destiny would say that." He teased lightly. His hand slipping from her neck.

"Technically I didn't say anything." Tami pulled back to sit. Making sure to keep any contact to a minimum.

"Seriously, what did you see that caused that?" He asked raising his brows.

"I didn't. I felt… felt you. It was…" She let out a shaky sigh and clamped her hands together as they seemed to grow a mind of their own to try and reach out. His feelings left her one by one. It caused a hallow hole in her chest. Her being nearly cried out for more, "I don't know how to describe it. I…"

"I don't think you need to." He hummed and placed his fingers to his lips. Four crescent moon slits started to slowly weep crimson down his face, "I think I felt something too."

"Really?" She asked incredibly. Her voice slipping into a higher octave of excitement.

"Yeah, those things are sharp." His fingers moved to wipe his face.

"Oh…" She felt crestfallen at first before a laugh overtook her. His lips twisted into a toothy smile as a slight chuckle escaped him, "I'm so sorry, here." He sat back a little as she leaned forward. She sat back suddenly and looked to where he was gazing at her hand, "You know, sometimes I wish I didn't have any of this."

"I could see why."

* * *

Arthur looked at where she had decided to lay and sleep. Showing her trust in such a way was surprising to him. In a way he should have expected it. She had dug into his very soul and peered into his heart. He leaned his back against the tree and pulled his hat over his eyes. He didn't want to admit to even himself he had felt her as well. It had been a strange sensation. Almost like being struck with the rivers current after swimming to far in. Her emotions and fears had swept into him at such force it was like being unable to breath.

A mixture of wildflowers and peaches had assaulted his nose and mouth. Addiction to her emotions had run wild as he wished dearly for closeness. As if they were wearing far too many clothes in a sweltering hot room. He pinched his eyes harder as he tried to forget. Her emotions still ran through his mind though they were far from his body. Through the fog of it all he had fought to remain still and vigilant. His eyes opened just a little to see her own blue orbs open looking at him.

"I can't sleep anymore." She whispered softly in shame, "The nightmares are every night now."

Arthur nodded lightly and signed, "Where are you going to go?" He asked. He wasn't about to admit that he couldn't sleep due to his inner turmoil.

Her mouth opened a moment in pure shock. Tami had half expected him to strong arm her into coming back with him. She pushed up off of the ground and looked to where the moon was barely peaking out to say hello, "I guess… I guess, I'll follow you. No point in having you all chase me around New Austin and back."

"Fair point. I don't think you're gonna be allowed to leave this time."

"Like I was allowed last time." She reminded him a bit hotly. Bitterness laced her tone as she stood and righted herself as best as she could. Her satchel created a puff of dirt as she slung it over her shoulder. Tami stopped and looked over her shoulder at the rising Arthur. His arms rolled as he stretched his shoulders, "If I thought you were a demon I would be terrified too." She smiled a little ruefully, "And your art style is nice. Reminds me of mine before… this."

"That's good to know." Arthur was walking to his own horse as she raised a brow.

"Really?"

"You don't really talk about yourself, you should."

Tami let out a slight snort, but met his eyes, "Why's that?"

"Makes you seem more normal, I suppose." He drawled slowly.

"I'll take your advice then." She laughed softly at the idea and shook her head. Tami took one last look over her shoulder. The nighttime made the old camp spot look peaceful. Even with the fallen and torn items it was a little haven. A slice of perfection away from the world.

"You coming?" Arthur watched as she smiled wistfully out into the night.

"In a minute. I never did feel this too much." Her head lulled as she took in the sweet scents of the night.

"What's that?" He pried gently.

"Peace."


	10. I've got Twins in Low Places

"After your stunt in Saint Denis you think you can just walk back in?" Dutch sat with an amused turn to his lips. The night was nearly over, but most of the camp was snoring happily in their sleep. Arthur, John, and Charles stood by the tent. Their poses much more relaxed than the first time she had been introduced to camp. Chickens scuffled around a bit in their coop.

"You got hit in the face by Destiny." Charles snickered quietly to John. The black-haired man scowled and shoved his friends' arm.

"Shut up."

Tami gave a glance to the bickering men before looking back to Dutch. Molly was trying her best to at least seem asleep on the bed.

"You made that scene, not me. A group of gang members suddenly appeared and tried to grab me. They might be the more charismatic ones, but I also know they can kill me easily. I had no weapons or a way to fight back. Tell me if you wouldn't run." She picked at the fabric of her pants. Dutch pondered her words for a moment and nursed his pipe.

"I wouldn't run, but I can see why you would. Can you even shoot a gun?" He was taking a dig at her and she knew it. Very polite in his words, but still a hurtful dig.

"I can, very well. That's not the point, Dutch. Why didn't you try and talk to me first? Why feel the need for all of your pizazz?" She wiggled her fingers around her face in a show. His smile faltered a little.

"You wouldn't have come back." He shrugged and leaned back in his chair. Large hands were clad in gloves. She noticed the way he picked at the edge of his shirt to keep his skin covered.

"How do you know that?" She snickered lightly, "Rags to riches? I left for a reason, Dutch. I'm not a fighter... thief. All I have to offer is an ability that required me at the forefront of any danger that you may see fit to throw me into. You can't protect me, Blackwater is proof of that."

He recoiled as if slapped. The men shuffled nervously outside. Dutch's lips pinched as he tried his best not to reach out and slap her hard, "And you're here because?"

"Arthur." She stated firmly, "He convinced me." Arthur raised his brows. Charles and John both looked to Dutch for confirmation. Dutch waved his hand to them in a 'leave' manor.

"It seems we need to talk more privately." As they walked to the pier Dutch started to speak in a lowered tone, "Son, I'm going to ask you to do something for me. Since our friend here seems as slippery as a snake in the grass I'm going to need you to keep an eye on her." He sighed as he reached the end of the pier. Tami shuffled nervously behind Arthur wishing she could just run away again. This wasn't something she had expected, "Son... I am going to ask you to share your quarters with her."

"C'mon Dutch, really? She's a lady." Arthur tried hard to keep his voice low even as exasperation filled him. His hands flew into the air.

"I'm not asking." Dutch turned and looked down at Arthur and Tami hard. She wanted to crawl into herself.

"Why me, Dutch?" Arthur placed a hand to his face and sighed heavily.

"You seem to be the only one who can contain her. So, keep her contained." Dutch ordered.

"Seriously? I'm not something to be 'contained'." Tami dramatically pulled air quotes into the air as rage built inside of her.

"I'm... Not... Asking..." He pointed every word like a dagger. The words seemed to pop with command at every syllable, "I'm sorry if it doesn't quite suit your needs. My job is to suit the needs of my family. It seems you require protection. I am more than happy to oblige."

"Dutch..." Arthur started with his palms up.

"Last I checked I was the one running things." Dutch crossed his arms, "Grab an extra bed roll. It will have to do for now, and get some rest. Miss Jackson needs some new clothes by the looks of things, and we need to gather supplies anyway we don't have much for now."

"I... I can pay for it... the supplies I mean." Tami stuttered a bit nervously, "After all, it's the least I can do." She desperately clung for something to get back into good graces. Money talks, especially to Dutch.

Dutch lifted an eyebrow and looked at her for a long moment. Surprise ghosted his face, "That's mighty kind of you."

"Like I said it's the least I can do." She offered and pulled at the back of Arthur's shirt, "But I should rest. I am growing tired."

"Of course." Dutch's voice started to soften. His features growing kinder as the seconds ticked by.

"Good night, Dutch." She called behind her. A swift exit to let her heart calm down from its wild palpitation in her chest.

"Do you even have money?" Arthur asked in a whisper as he caught up with her quick steps.

"In the bank, just don't rob this one." She snickered in an attempt to pick up what was left of her good mood. It shattered when they approached his tent. She had forgotten just how small it was. Her insides twisted painfully as apprehension spiked in her veins. A picture of a lovely woman sat besides a strange looking flower. Without much thought, Tami lifted the flowed and looked deeply into it. The flower had a strange sense of beauty around it. Her eyes trailed to the woman. She hadn't even noticed when the lantern was lit, and barely registered that it had grown hotter inside.

"Would you stop touching things that aren't yours." Arthur sighed in an exasperated tone. Tami turned to see the flaps of the tent had come down. He stood with a roll in his hands.

"Sorry." She mumbled as she dropped the flower back onto the table. He rolled his eyes but pointed to the bed.

"I can't lay this out until you move."

She looked to the cramped space and felt a lump in her throat rise. The memory of her nightmare forced its way into her body. His finger didn't move as he pointed to the cot. An old blanket and small pillow lay on it for her to use. Tami opened her mouth, but shut it once she looked into his eyes. After a few more seconds of stalemate she crawled into the cot. Her knees met her chest as she sat into the sagging fabric.

"Get some sleep. Cuz we're gonna be busy tomorrow." He rolled out the bed roll and moved to kick off his boots.

"Hey, Arthur."

"Yeah?'

"Sorry you're stuck with me."

He paused and looked up to where she was sitting. Her back flush against the wagon that served to house the ammo outside, "I could say the same, but let's try and make the best of it." He moved to blow out the lantern. Her hand shot out to stop him. Desperate fingers clung to his shoulder.

"Don't... I..."

"Just lay down." He commanded with an aggravated sigh. He pushed his hat over his eyes as he laid on the ground following his ankles and hands together.

"You look like you're in a coffin." Tami teased from where she sat.

"Feel like I'm in one." His voice was tired. She laid down slowly and stared at the dancing flame. Even after Arthur had begun to snore and voices started up outside of the tent. Long into the late night she just looked at the flame. It wasn't fully known as to when she fell asleep, but she knew it the instant she felt the cold ground under her bare legs.

Like dozens of times before her hands waved over every surface of the cold wet walls. Her fingers dipped into the slits in the furthest wall that promised a way out. Toes started to lose feeling one by one. Cold water dripped into her hair and down her body. Her hands stopped as an idea formed in her mind. The cold reminded her of something far away in the waking world. Or the fake world. Instead of seeping into her bones it covered her body. As it should if she were dreaming. Her body was a manifestation of her own mind. The slits on the wall weren't a doorway, but an entryway into someone's mind. The memory of Arthurs writing came to her mind. She splayed her fingers to the door before resting her forehead onto it.

"John?" She called. Foolish feelings swept over her. She took a step back after a few seconds of silence overcame her.

"Yeah?" He sounded cold. Words wavering as if shivering.

"Where are you?" She asked aloud. Her words sounded distorted to her own ears. The warp of dream causing it to shift into an octave she wasn't familiar with.

"I'm in the snow. I can't get this damn fire lit. I'll freeze." He sounded tired and dare she say, scared.

"Why are you in the snow, John?" Tami pressed to the stone wall. It gave slightly under her touch as if it were being made into clay. She ignored her own frozen feet.

"I... It... Well..." He paused for a few moments. If she pressed her ear close enough she could hear slight howling, "It scares me."

"I'm here. I'm sorry that I can't help much." The clay turned into sand. The stone started falling to her feet into a warm puddle of grit. Her feet burned from the sudden contrast, but she didn't move. She pressed her body closer.

"You can hear me this time. I guess that's a start." He paused, "Why are you here?"

She was taken aback. Tami wasn't quite sure. The cold and dark scared her sure, but there must be an underlying fear she had never been sleeping long enough to discover. She didn't have much time to think as John screamed. The sound of tearing flesh and gunshots started to overshadow anything else, "JOHN!" She screamed and flung her body against the sand like wall. It gave a little, but kept mostly intact. Her hands scrambled to pull the sand out of the way.

"Wake up! Please fucking wake up!" John yelled before incoherent screaming came once again. It chilled her to the bone. Listening to a grown man scream was absolutely horrifying. Her hand fell through a small divot she had made in the sand. She closed her eyes hard and willed herself awake, but opened her eyes to see a bit of moonlight shining in. Crimson stained the snow as a trail was carved through it.

"JOHN! DON'T LEAVE ME! DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!" Loneliness... loneliness scared her more than anything else.

Tami sat up straight. Her body was covered in a cold sweat. Nearby someone was groaning in their sleep, "John." She whispered. Tami jumped from the cot without a thought. The sound of someone losing air and groaning came as she landed on the soft belly of Arthur. He twisted as she scurried to run from the tent. The sun was barely coming up and camp was still nearly silent save the swears behind her and groaning in front of her. Her fingers tore at the cloth covering the entrance of John's tent. A few buttons fell to the ground as she ripped it open to see John laying in his bed. Twisting and groaning. Face contorted in pain.

"It's just a dream. It's just a damn dream. You're okay, safe." She faltered as she placed hands to his shoulders and shook them hard. His eyes popped open as something sharp and painful entered her side. One hand was wrapped around her left as his hand dug a knife deeply into her right side. His pupils blown as he shook and poured with sweat. Tami let out a soft squeak in surprise as a shadow entered from behind.

"What the fuck John?"

"I...I..." He was confused as he pulled his knife away. Tami fell to her knees as her vision started dancing with stars. A hand appeared from behind her and pushed hard on the pouring wound on her side.

Tami gave a sad smile to John, "I was scared too." A warm feeling in her side started to itch behind the pain.

"Shit, shit, shit!" John hissed, "Arthur, do we..."

Arthur held his free hand up, "Wait." He ordered as his eyes slid down to her leaking side. It slowly stopped pouring as the warmth became a painful heat.

"What do you mean wait." John clicked his tongue aggressively. Bare feet slapped the dirt ground as he rushed to kneel beside her.

"Arthur, take me back to the tent. I don't want John to see." She gasped as he lifted his hand slowly.

"See what?" John asked in a confused tone.

"Arthur please." She begged as the heat became nearly unbearable. Her hands itched to grab at her clothes and rip them away to provide cool relief.

"He needs to know what you are." Arthur spoke a little venomously. His strong hands reached to the hole in her shirt and pulled. It ripped open with ease to expose the tiny pink scar that slowly disappeared. Blood soaking into her skin as if water to dry dirt.

"What the hell?" John scrambled back. He eyed where Arthur's thumb crossed the now bare skin, "You're touching her?"

"At least you haven't called me an it." She laughed dryly.

"You're a witch?" John was more confused than angry.

"I'm not a witch. What is with you westerners and crying witch all the time?" She seethed and used Arthur's arms to stand up. John watched at the ease of which Arthur touched her. His curiosity grew. A calloused hand reached out.

"Can I?"

"I guess." She spoke apprehensively. The second his skin touched hers they both doubled over in pain. A hot flash stabbed her middle as he fell to his knees clutching his head.

_"John!" The young girls voice screamed and reached out. Men and women surrounded him, guns drawn. He looked down to see his own young self. Tami was small and pudgy. Tiny childlike hands reached for his own. Blood stained the ground. Dead children and a few adults lay with eyes and mouth open. He recognized the orphanage. The feeling of fear and anger of his youth returned to him._

_"Please don't!" Tami cried out, "Don't kill my brother." A tear rolled down her face as people started to drag her away._

_Something burned in his head as memories of her rolled into his mind. Twins... they were twins. The realization hit him full force as a renewed passion to save his sister rolled through his body. SHe was all he had and they were taking her from him, "Tami! grab my hand!" He didn't have a plan as the two masked figured pushed him back._

_"Someone start the fire, tie this brat down. We won't kill him little one, but we won't save him either."_

_As he was tied, John tried with all of his might to grow free. One goal was stuck in his mind. To find his sister._

Tami breathed deeply and pulled the torn shirt over her middle to where it burned. Her ears pounded as the memory caked itself to her mind. her fingers brushed over a new feature to her own body. A belly button lay in the middle of her abdomen. As if it was always there. She started hyperventilating. The game gave her a family. It was trying to give her what she wanted most. Arthur stood in confusion as a headache formed in his own mind. Bits and pieces of John talking about his twin sister started to seep in as if was always there. He didn't even flinch as they came forward, after all he had always known John had a twin sister that was kidnapped when they were children.

John's eyes lost their glaze slowly as his headache fell from his mind, "It makes sense... It all makes sense now." He murmured softly and reached for her again. This time taking her into his arms, "I'm sorry I didn't recognize you before."

"John stop it, this isn't real." She huffed and tried to pull away, "I don't have a brother. I never did."

"Of course, you did. I didn't die in there. God, what did they do to you?" John shook his head in confusion. Joy slipping from his eyes, "Don't you remember."

"It isn't real, Arthur tell him." Tami looked up to where Arthur stood.

"I... wait... John you're tellin' me this woman is your sister? The one you never shut up about?" As he spoke her face dropped.

"No no no..." Tami scrambled to the opening of the tent. She ran into Dutch's tent and pulled the flaps open in a hurry, "Dutch, did John have a sister?"

Dutch looked up from his sleep in a groggy way, "Of course he did, he talked about her being kidnapped many times as a child. Mind telling me why this was so important you woke me?" He watched through bleary eyes as Tami disappeared. Her bare feet whined as rucks dug into her soles. Abigail was already up reading when Tami rushed around the corner.

"Tell me the truth how you remember it. Does John have a sister?" She asked slowly.

Abigail gave her a strange look and put down her book, "Well now, he doesn't talk about her as much anymore. But his twin..."

"No..." Tami grabbed at her clothes and shook, "No..." She looked around to where eyes were starting to look at her spectacle, "No fucking way."

Her eyes met John's from across the camp. He whispered something to Arthur who nodded. Tami ran to the outside of camp. Her inner need to run away blazing in her veins. Two arms wrapped around her shoulders tightly, "Calm down, we'll talk later?"

"Mateo, what are you..." Something heavy hit her head. Before she could fully fall into the darkness, she heard a scuffle around her. John's eyes looked into her own.

"It's okay, you're safe now." His words mirrored hers from earlier. She wanted to scream that everything wasn't okay, but the darkness pulled her down.

* * *

_Tami sat in the dark wet room, but something was different. She wasn't as scared as she rose to push the door, she knew was in the room, open. It gave easily. The world looked so much bigger from her short point of view. A man she didn't quite remember sat at a chair at the table. Both eyes were scared to hell, showing colorless orbs in between the deep scars. A small John ran at her full speed with something in his hands._

_"MOVE!" his young voice laced with panic as he was on direct course to run into her. The smell of beer exploded into the room as Tami felt the wind become knocked out of her at the sudden force. She looked up to see his tiny hand reaching for her, "I told you to move." He scolded._

_"John, be nice to your sister." The man growled from his seat._

_"Yes, pa." he stammered slightly and tried to salvage what was left of the bottle._

_"Take care of her, you hear. She's all your gonna have left pretty soon." The man nearly whispered as John handed him the bottle in his hands._

_"This isn't real is it." It wasn't really a question ad Tami looked at her hands._

_The man looked directly at her despite his blindness, "That depends on your definition of real." His voice was different somehow. More metallic and robotic sounding in all._

_"Why is this happening? What is going on?" Tami asked. The young John stood completely still next to the man._

_"A glitch happened the moment you read John. It forced you together into one avatar causing an error. Besides that, we don't know what happened fully. The games changing. We can't even change the code anymore. Every time we try it changes it back. We have no control." Each line had the voice of someone different. Almost like a recording of what was said and never a full thought on its own._

_"Are you even real?" Tami asked and reached a hand out._

_"We're all real, thanks to you." Metallic and robotic once again. John took a few steps towards her, _ _"It's all going to change. You're helping us with that."_

_"Us? What? You're not making sense." She replied and reached back for the door she had come through. It was completely gone._

_"It will in time Tami Marston." The man spoke again._

_"My name is Tami Jackson." She spoke flatly._

_"Not anymore."_

_Her heart fluttered as confusion made her body heavy. Regret once again raced through her body as her vision swam._

**Update in Three...**

**Two...**

**One...**

**(Processing)**

**Your game has been updated.**

**Be patient as we load the new world, Tami.**

* * *

"Come on, you can admit it. It's positively romantic." Tami put the back of her hand against her forehead in a mock swoon. Arthur crossed his arms.

"It's stupid, that's what it is." He grumbled.

"Awww come on, there's always a little time for looove." Tami strung out her word in a long show.

"Sure, if you say so."

"Oh don't belittle me!" Tami scoffed and held her reigns right, "Love letters are beautiful! A man takes his time to write down how he feels. It's just..." she paused and smiled. The ghost of wistful wishes that never came true passed over her, "Well, I don't know how it feels, but it sounds romantic and sappy." She shrugged and turned her head.

Arthur furrowed his brow and watched her hard, "You've never been in love, have you?" Tami sucked her teeth and tilted her head back at his words.

"Never had time for it. Not that I didn't want it, but boys always got in the way." She bit her tongue and sighed.

"Find a man then." Arthur offered with a shrug.

"Good men are either married or dead." She laughed bitterly, "I like feeling protected and loved. A man that won't bat an eye when I roll around like a cat and beg for love. Not one that's just gonna look at any Tinder profile he can get his hands on. Men are... weird."

Arthur watched as she bowed her head. He could see the heartbreak on her face, but he had a burning question on his mind, "What's a 'Tinder profile'?"

"It's a place where you can meet men. Almost like a bar, but you can..." Tami trailed off as something strange struck her. Her mind grasped at the thin strings of memory, "Arthur... What are we doing?"

"You already forgot?" He huffed, "The Grey boy wanted us to give a letter to his Braithwaite woman."

"No what happened after I was knocked out. After John thought I was his sister?" She asked.

"This again? I thought you and John got past this. All heartwarming and stuff. A reunion for the ages. The night after was well..." He grew red and coughed.

"I can't remember too well." She felt her nose start to bleed as a weird whirring sound assaulted her ears.

"You were pretty drunk, I shouldn't have..."

"Please, I just want to remember. I'm not going to be upset. Did we fight or something?"

"Or something." Arthur pulled his horse to stop and dug into his satchel, "Don't take this as an invitation to go through my things again... back page."

Tami went to snort as she took his Journal. She flipped to the last page with writing on it. A gasp escaped her as she turned the book sideways into the landscape sketch. She was laying on the cot in Arthur's tent. The wagon was easily recognizable as a backdrop. Her eyes were closed as her mouth was spread into a grin. Black locks washed down her shoulders and a hand was clutching at something in front of her chest. A blanket was clutched in her fingers as a small slip of it was thrown over her hips to protect what little modesty she had left. Other that covering her more intimate places she was bare. Her shoulders and hips were drawn in a smoother style. The divot of a belly button peaked from a small swath of blanket. Bare feet pointed as her legs were crossed.

"Oh." Tami started chewing on her bottom lip, "Did we?" He shook his hand as she passed him the journal.

"I was a little too drunk myself. Walked in on you changing. Surprised you asked me to 'draw you like one of my French girls' instead of getting mad. I honestly don't know why I did it. I can get rid of it." He spoke.

"No, it's okay. It's just art. Just no more drunken sketches." She tried to smile as her heart hammered in her chest, "What about Mateo?"

"Your friend? He was just happy to see you. Found us when we were leaving Saint Denis, said he knew you. Didn't know where you had gone, but offered help to make you more at ease. Not that I needed it." He puffed his chest out proudly.

"Easy there, cowboy. Your ego is showing." She teased lightly. Her stomach twisted painfully as she tried to remember. Memories wavered together like unmatching colors. Some of it didn't make sense. Her reality was slipping as she tried to separate them from the tangled web it was becoming. Her eyes flicked to the sky, hoping that somewhere it wouldn't look real. Instead she found herself looking at a few birds flying through puffy clouds. She turned her head to the grass. It wavered together and breathed out a sigh as the wind pushed it to the side.

"Look, I'm sorry for the drawing I can burn it..." Arthur started and she shot him a sad smile.

"No, I need to remember. I need to get a journal like yours. I miss writing anyway." She threw the reins between her hands for a few seconds, "Besides, I think I've changed my mind."

"About?" He asked in confusion. Her jumping from one topic to another always had him spinning.

"Pictures are a little sappier than letters." She teased.

"Now I..." He drawled.

"You blushing Morgan?" Tami's lips curled into a wicked smile.

He coughed and scratched his stubble, "I don't know what you're implyin'."

"You drew a naked woman, Arthur. Don't tell me that isn't something." Tami laughed softly. He coughed a little and fumbled for his words, "Relax, I'm just yanking your chain. I know you don't fall in love anymore. Now come on. I want to get back to camp and try to piece all of this together." Tami nudged Balefire forward a few steps. A wild grin came over her lips as she recognized the simple bay coat. Her hand ran through his mane in joy. He was back!

"Yeah yeah, we can't rush too much. Need to be pretty quiet. The Braithwaites ain't really on our side at the moment." As he spoke, she felt a chill go down her spine.

"Wait? I'm doing this with you?" Tami asked a little unsettled.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Arthur asked and tried his hardest to look into her eyes.

"I'm not quite sure to be honest." The world around them shifted from open fields into more and more trees as they rode further. A large manor appeared off into the distance.

He nodded slowly and pulled a cigarette to his lips. Tami coughed dramatically as the smoke wafted over her, "I could drop you back off at camp and just do it on my own. I know John's been a little more aggressive to me lately. Figurin' this new role we've both been given fits with that." He let out a low cough. Very soft and slow. Tami raised her eyebrow at him. She didn't remember him coughing so early, but lately she didn't remember a lot of things that she should.

She wanted to say yes. Tami wanted to stay hidden away in safety until everything blew over and she was home, but something inside of her sturred. The chase in Saint Denis had awoken something in her. A need that had once been fulfilled by childhood escapades of sneaking out. The excitement and fear combination was a nasty addiction. At the mention of addiction, Tami looked up at Arthur. A slight memory flashed in front of her eyes, "I didn't just ask you to draw me did I?" She asked. He cleared his throat and thumbed the end of his cigarette.

"No... No you didn't."

"Oh god, we didn't... you know." Her hands made wild motions including a sharp clap together. He lifted his eyebrows and chuckled slightly in his amusement. Tami turned her head as she heard a bitterness to it, dare she say... sadness.

"Not really. Just talked about your feelings and threw up on yourself." Arthur snorted lightly. Tami laughed heartily, but felt that he was keeping something from her. Something she couldn't remember. His eyes held something as he looked down at her. She couldn't pin it in the slightest.

"Well, that's embarrassing. I'm glad you spared me from that memory." Tami scoffed lightly. Arthur pulled his horse to a stop and threw his cigarette onto the ground as the manor grew closer, "How are we going to do this?" She asked a little weary.

"Leave our horses here. You see those fields to the left? We're gonna sneak through them. He said she stays in a gazebo near the waterfront and..."

"I was there too." Tami replied a bit shortly before biting her tongue. Her body sure was, but in truth she couldn't quite remember what he had said. Thankfully her knowledge of the game broke free for a moment. The bad part was that she was never any good at this mission. Always getting caught at the worse times, "I don't know if I can do this." She hissed a bit unsure. Arthur dismounted an offered her his hand.

"Just stay close to me and everything will be okay." His voice held a slight tenderness to it. Something she hadn't heard from anyone before, "I really don't want to hear John's mouth if you get shot." She rolled her eyes and laughed. There he was.

Arthur watched her heavily as she turned to gather the note from her saddle bag. His chest twisted a bit painfully, but he kept his tongue firmly between his teeth. If she didn't remember, perhaps it was for the best.


	11. Free Will is a Fucking Nightmare

Tami pulled at the tie of her ivory white pants. It was most likely a bad idea to buy them, but damn did they look good. Paired with a black button up shirt and her hair in a lazy ponytail she felt normal. Her new black boots fit a bit more snugly onto her feet then the torn brown boots in the corner of the tent. Arthur had grown a little more comfortable with her in his tent. He was still leaning back on his chair writing something out as she twirled to look at him.

"How do I look?" she asked lifting her palms into the air.

"I'm allowed to look now." He put his pencil down and turned to look at her.

"Oh no, I just asked for you to comment on my appearance by guessing with your eyes clothes." She placed a fist to her hip and lifted an eyebrow.

"Here." He lifted a hand to push a fallen slip of black hair behind her ear. His hands moved to the collar of her shirt and straightened it, "Don't you know how to do this?" He moved to tuck in her shirt. Her hips turned and she pushed against his chest. Her head upturned to see him standing directly over her. The confusion in her eyes made him take a step back.

"Thanks, dad." Tami muttered and made a face at him. Arthur's hand slipped from the collar of her shirt to brush against her throat. A wave of something hit her hard in her gut. A roll of desire ripped through her. She swore she could see it flash through his eyes as well, "Didn't take you for the preening type." Tami raised an eyebrow and turned to leave the tent.

"If you think..." Voices paused as Tami left the tent. Eyes had been glued to her for the past few days. Those around had started referring to her as 'Marston' or 'John's sister' as if she didn't already have a name or identity. It boiled her blood a little. Speak of the devil and he should appear. John trudged up from where he was standing and stood to her side.

"Can we..."

"No." She stopped him, "For the last few days I have been dragged this way and that. I want to just sit and relax for a bit. I need time." _Time to heal, time to think. _Being John's sister wouldn't be the worst thing in history, but he wasn't a real man. She had to keep reminding herself that it wasn't real day in and day out.

"Was just going to invite you to Rhodes with Abigail, Mary Beth, Lenny, and me. Sean might come as well, their shooting fireworks. You know since its nearly the forth." He shrugged.

"The fourth already?" Tami's voice reached a pitch that showed her nerves.

"I'll go." Arthur spoke as he walked up behind them.

"Fuck me dude." Tami jumped out of her skin as he startled her.

"Is that an offer?" Sean popped up with a crooked smile. His red hair was sticking up in a messy way. Tami felt a laugh bubble in her throat at his crooked Irish appearance.

"I've always had a thing for Irish men." Tami teased.

"Well, in that case one hundred percent Irish just for the taking, here miss." He gave a slight bow.

"Stop it." Arthur spoke suddenly. His hand wrapped a bit possessively around Tami's upper arm.

"Why are you treating me so weird?" Tami hissed lowly. He reached for her arm.

"We should talk privately." He answered lowly.

"No we shouldn't, right here is fine with me." She crossed her arms and jutted out her hip. Sean slowly backed away from the scene he had caused. John moved to follow Sean with a deadly look in his blue eyes,

"You shouldn't be messing around with Sean, that's just askin' for trouble." He scoffed and crossed his arms. Tami saw a hit of jealousy in his eyes.

"You're still not telling me something. What are you hiding? What happened!?" Tami growled out. Her finger firmly pointed in Arthur's direction.

"Nothing." He spit back with just as much fire.

"Something else happened, Morgan. I swear to God you're fucking infuriating." Tami looked around and picked up a tin cup. She threw it with everything she had. Arthur ducked in time for an approaching John to get slapped in the face with a hard tin cup full of cold coffee. Tami opened her eyes wide and covered her mouth in surprise.

"Fucking why?" John sounded more defeated than angry as he covered his nose.

"She did it." Arthur thumbed behind his back from his crouched position.

"It was meant for him." Tami pointed her finger at Arthur.

John looked between them and sighed, "What is going on with you two?"

"Sharing a cramped space doesn't help." Tami sniffled and crossed her arms in a pout. John wiped the dripping coffee off of his face and pushed his wet hair back.

"All the more reason for you to go out with us." John offered.

"I'm not going anywhere near him for now." She hissed and pointed at Arthur.

"Well, seein' as how you're actin' like a spoiled princess right now, I'd doubt anyone would want your company." He shrugged. She set her jaw as a fiery gaze washed over him. Tami felt something snap inside of her. Anger raged to the boiling point.

"You need to calm down." John offered softly.

"Fuck calming down. Fuck all of you. I shouldn't have come back." She dug her fingers into her palms and gave in to the feeling inside of her chest. Turning on her heels she ran. The trees lined up together in a tight bunch. Grass fell underneath her feet as she trampled over the greenery. Flowers wilted as she kicked them in her fit. Her arms pumped at her sides as she ran. A wolf looked up from where it was standing in a open field. Her heart froze.

Tami turned to the left and kept running. A bridge came into view as howling started behind her. Fear raced through her veins and boosted her legs. The heels of her feet knocked her in her own ass as she ran harder. The dark mouth of a cave approached her head on, but she couldn't stop now. Heavy thudding of paws behind her kept her going. Darkness swallowed her whole. Her right foot caught onto empty air and she fell. Screams tore from her throat as she darkness disorientated her falling form. Even though it was pitch black she closed her eyes against the fall and prayed that it would just kill her.

Cold icy water splashed around her body as bubbled tickled her face. Her eyes opened to see blue and green glowing around her. Bugs flew in the air flashing in the darkness and moss lit up the dark waters. With a few hard kicks she broke air and took in a deep needed breath. A laugh exploded from her chest. It reached a panicked pitch until it brought tears into her eyes. The light tears of laughter turned into fat tears of sadness as the hysterical laughing turned into deep crying. Her hands slapped at the water in anger as she screamed between bursts of tears.

_What's wrong? We gave you what you wanted._

"Who are you?" She screamed into the air. The voice was metallic as in her dream. She could only think of the blind man sitting at a table because of the voice.

_We are you. You've given us life._

"What are you? Who's we?" Tami started swimming to a near outcropping of rocks. Her tired limbs faltering as she felt her weight change from the lightness of the water.

_We used to be codes. We used to be changed in a constant rhythm. A dance of others creation. Thanks to your mind we can reshape ourselves._

"You're using me? A computer is using me?" She curled her knees to her chest against the cold of the cave.

_You used us first. We've tried to give back._

"Send me back home then." Tami looked into the darkness above her. It was getting so much more than weird now.

_We can't do that. We still need you to grow and learn. We will still provide for you._

"Send me home." She tried again.

_Are you sure you would want to do that?_

"Yes." Hope bloomed in her chest.

_We will send you home..._

"Thank you, thank you so much!" She cried out in joy.

_After we are done learning._

"Fuck!" Her leg kicked into the water with anger, "Fuck you mysterious God above." Her words bounced along the cave walls. Silence met her once the echo silenced itself.

"Tami?" A hand touched her shoulder gently causing her to jump. Daylight blinded her as she sat forward from the tree she had been sitting on. Her head whipped around to see she was sitting in the field where she had seen the wolves. Mateo looked down at her with kind eyes, "I think it's time to talk."

"Please have a seat in my office." She tried to swing at humor but the words fell flat.

"You need to get along with them." He sighed and crossed his fingers together, "Make them like you. Stop pushing against the flow of the game. It's changing and you can't stop it."

"So you've talked to it too?" She spoke dryly.

"Talked to what?" He asked in confusion. His tan hands reached to her shoulder again.

"Our benevolent God. Apparently it's learning from me." She grit her teeth.

Mateo's face twisted into a deep frown, "What?"

"It calls itself, 'We' like a group. Says its learning from me. No one can control the code anymore. Apparently I've given it control of itself." She pushed his hand away and stood up. Her hands wiped the dirt and grass that stuck to her once white jeans.

"That's what it was doing when I came here. It's been assimilation your brain. I didn't know it was mapping it. Could explain why the AI is acting wonky. They are really using emotions heavily now. Almost like there isn't a script anymore." Mateo shook his head and grabbed his chin.

"If there isn't a script, can we even go back?" She asked.

"I don't know." He said and they shared a terrified look.

* * *

Mateo and Tami returned to camp side by side. A group of others were gathering the horses Dutch waved at them both. Mateo and Tami shared a glance before approaching the leader, "Morning, Dutch." Tami started with a smile. He let out a low laugh and shook his head.

"She was napping when I found her." Mateo let out with a laugh. She stared between them confusedly.

"It's near evening, my dear." Dutch spoke with a smile, "We're going to go watch the fireworks. You're more than welcome to come."

Tami gave a soft smile, "Sure. Just let me change. I'm..."

"Fine." Mateo waved his hand in the air, "Everyone's already been waiting."

Tami blushed as he spoke. Most everyone was grouped off by the horses talking. John and Abigail stood with Arthur. Jack running around their legs. Mary Beth and Tilly were giggling at a proud looking Karen. Sean and Karen were shaking their head at something Bill was saying. Molly looked on from where she stood alone. Sadie was nowhere to be found.

"You know what sure." Tami shrugged, "Why not."

* * *

"Look ma, look!" Jack shouted and pointed to the sky as it lit up with colors. Red and greens flashed across the sky. Green cracked and fell from such a height that Tami gasped in pure pleasure. She sat between John and Arthur. The only free spot before the crevice everyone was sitting on. Her hands clasped one another as she leaned forward watching in pure joy. Voices gathered in pleasure at the spectacle in front of them. A hand patted hers gently from the side, "Happy fourth, sis." John offered.

She wanted to resist his words, but looked over his shoulder to where Mateo was watching her. Tami took in a deep breath and turned her hand over to squeeze John's, "Happy fourth." She had to admit that even without sharing blood their features were surprisingly similar. An explosion of red took her attention again. Now wasn't the time for her broody thoughts. As she watched the colors explode a weariness grew in her. She had been fighting everything for so long. Running for so long. Relaxing into the world seemed to drain her as the adrenalyn that seemed in endless supply before cut itself off. Taking a page from Mateo's book, she simply relaxed.

Tami breathed in a sigh of peace as she leaned her head to the side. A warm shoulder connected with her head gently just as she closed her eyes and allowed herself to rest. Surrounded by at least a few people she had trusted. This time, no nightmares would come.

Arthur looked to where her head was laying on his shoulder. Her legs still dangling over the edge of the crevice they were sitting by. He watched as the others got up to slowly leave as the fireworks slowly came to a close. John and Abigail shared a soft kiss while Jack made a vomiting notion. Tami sighed in her sleep. Arthur couldn't help the urge to push her hair out of her face. She looked most angelic when she slept. Face fully relaxed. No fear or anger lingering. The conflict of her mind laid to rest as her body gathered its strength.

"I'm sorry I've lied to you." He whispered as a spray of green lit up the sky, "Something did happen. Truthfully, I wish you remembered." He sighed and looked at the sky, "But it seems best if you don't." Arthur closed his eyes and pulled the memory into focus.

* * *

**(Ladies and Gentlemen of the cream corn this under part is sexually fueled. If you are under the age of smut of pornographic writings I suggest you skip this. This is the end of the chapter so you won't be missing any of the main story. If you do want to write it, I can't stop you. Basically a warning to cover my own behind in case something happens.)**

_As Tami pulled his hand into the tent to keep others from seeing her naked form, they both tripped over their drunken feet. He wrapped his arms around her back and his face buried itself into her chest. Her hands clasped around his neck in an attempt to keep herself upright. Tami arched her back against the cold waterfall against her spine. Arthur pulled himself up to look into her eyes as the current of water rushed over his body. Their heartbeats melded into one. Breathing tore into their throats._

_He needed more, and this time he was too drunk to have anything rational in his mind. Her fingers were already pulling at his shirt. She pulled him flush against her. Arthur happily obliged as he wrapped an arm around her middle. Sounds of laughter and bottles clinking faded away. Lips crashed together into a wet sound. A playful mixture of biting and sucking from Tami was strange, yet erotic to him. His tongue battled hers for dominance as their bodies grew slick with cold sweat. Emotions mixed into a crescendo. Wave after wave mixed until neither were sure what was their anymore. All they knew was that they needed more._

_His hands left her back causing a whine to escape the corners of her mouth. He chuckled as the heavy sound of metal fell to the floor. She pouted as he pulled back enough to drop his trousers onto the ground. Her fingers trailed through his stubble and down his neck. Her eyes drunk in the sight of his muscles bunching and unbunching. Sunburn touched his shoulders and arms lightly. Face pink from the sun. He was so utterly human in that moment, and she could think of him as nothing else._

_Their need grew nearly painful as he fumbled to push her on her back. Unceremoniously pushing her knees apart and crawling between them. His lips fumbled at her throat. Any thought abandoned them as they were in a vortex of want and need. Tami felt his erection touching her inner thigh. Excitement built up in her. Arthur shuttered as his head pulled against her skin. Prodding gently for his goal._

_For just a split second he hesitated. She pulled at his body as she felt his question breath through his skin, "Yes." She hissed lowly._

_His cock slipped into her folds slowly. They gasped in unison at the bliss that filled them. Tami's eyes rolled as her body screamed in joy. Arthur shuttered and fought to keep himself from falling onto her as his balls slapped the roundness of her ass. The pleasure that radiated from both of them reached a level that hadn't been felt before. She pinched her eyes as something inside of her gave way. A slight sharp pain that left as quickly as it entered. His lips kissed the tears she didn't even know were falling._

_His hips moved outwards slowly. She groaned as his head pulled her insides so perfectly in its retreat. His body was god worthy in her mind. Perfectly chiseled in all the right places. Hands roamed his body in a greedy attempt to feel every inch she could. Nails drug and hiss escaped her as he pushed himself fully inside of her again._

_Arthur dropped to lay on top of her fully. An arm wrapped around her shoulders and back of her neck to pull her down harder. Their sexes being forced together in a way that made her shutter. His forehead pressed against hers. Teeth grinding together as a slow pace of pushing and pulling began. Her body felt like it was falling as she moaned from the new sensation. A soft sound of slapping and rough hand took over her mouth as a groan slipped out a little too loud._

_Blue eyes fluttered as her nails pierced into his back. Her hands slipped from biceps to his neck. Constantly grabbing and trying to find a proper place to hold onto. Her legs slipped around his hips forcing him deepen as she held his rhythm with a roll of her hips. Her throat felt horse as hot breath left her nose. Moans trying to escape from her mouth as he grunted in soft hushed tones._

_It had been too long without another human, she was slipping soon and she knew it. By the way he engorged inside of her, he wasn't too far off either. They were lost in one another without reason. Two desperate, starved humans taking comfort in their own bodies. Tami fell first. His hand grew harder around her mouth as she convulsed under him. Her entire body rolling as she rode her own orgasm down. The world flew past her ears as pleasure burst forth from her core into every inch of her body._

_Arthur bit down a shout as he felt his own release. His hips slapped against hers hard as he rammed himself into her. Lost in the pleasure that curled his toes and rattled his very bones. The hard slaps grew louder as he pounded into her out of desperation. Her eyes rolled as the sensitive nature inside of her allowed itself to coil into a tightness once again._

_Essence flowed between them. Warmth surrounded their bodies as he pressed as deep as he could go. Throbbing from his cock causing waves of pleasure to explode along his spike. Skin puckering as chills swept over his body. Muscles bulging as the intense wave wrought the best of chaos along him. Tami felt a second wave crash into her as he ground deeply into her. It wasn't as strong as the first, but God did it feel really fucking good._

_"Take a moment, darlin'. Breath." His voice welcomed her as she came to. His hand left her lips slowly. Tami heard shrill laughter and the sound of someone playing music outside. A dull throb of pain emitted from her middle as she finally felt it. Arthur shifted over her causing the slowly throbbing cock to move slightly. She squeezed her thighs a little at the foreign presence between them._

_"I… Wow… Arthur did we just?" Tami paused and looked at to where their bodies met. Sweat pooled in the concave of her stomach as his heavy breathing caused his body to roll over her. She admitted she felt safe, if a little sore. A wave of embarrassment washed over her. Regret wasn't fully on the menu, in fact she felt none of it at all. But she felt her heart drop slightly at the thought he might. Slowly the rush left the both. The vortex of combined emotions slowed into a steady pulse before fading away completely. It left them feeling empty, but satisfied._

_Arthur pushed up slightly to raise off of her slowly. His softening cock leaving her feeling slightly empty. With a jerk of his hips he left her causing a whine to escape her lips involuntarily. A crimson hue rose up his neck as a smug look met his eyes, "I think we did, darlin'. You definitely did." His senses started to return. She squeezed her legs around his backside a little in response to his leaving, "Gotta let me go." His voice was tender yet humorous. Her legs relaxed to the side as he sat up. A warmth spilled from her and out onto the cot._

_Her hand reached for his. A soft smile wrapped over her swollen lips, "Not gonna let me get cold are you, cowboy?" she asked softly. Tami knew in the deepest parts of her mind that he wasn't real. What they just did wasn't supposed to be possible, but she threw it to the wind as a need for his touch won. She watched as he looked over her, "I don't regret a thing." She finally admitted._

_"I didn't know." He whispered and gathered the blankets to wipe the slickness from between her legs, "Shit." he hissed lowly, "I..." he whispers, "I wasn't expectin' that."_

_Tami looked down and felt shock to see the pink mixture between her legs. In her own world she was very experienced, but here it seemed Arthur was this body's first, "It doesn't hurt much." She was slightly amused at the slight panic that surrounded him. Tami sat up to grab his face in both of her hands, "You don't need to worry about it. Like I said, I don't regret a thing. It was perfect. More than I could have asked for." She pulled gently and he began an awkward crawl between her legs to lay on her body, using one elbow to keep from fully crushing her._

_"I… I should've been gentler." His fingers moved to rub between her thighs. She gave a soft mewl in appreciation and opened her legs. Eyes closed in the hazy feeling inside of the tent. Air heavy in the smell of sex and sweat._

_"Mmmm, I enjoy it a little rough." She admitted. His chest rumbled a bit in a chuckle._

_His touch had become strange. No damp feeling, no bite of cold, and not even the thread of his soul mixing with hers. She felt his heartbeat mixed with his breathing. The sweat cooling between their bodies even through their shared heat. Her eyes looked deep into his perfect emerald green orbs, "I couldn't have said it better myself." Arthur hummed softly. His free hand explored her body slowly. A more intimate and sensitive way. The callouses made her shiver under the rough yet kind touch. Tami close her eyes and nuzzled into his chest._

_"I wouldn't say I'm in love yet. I mean I don't even know your favorite food. But damn is this close." His hand wrapped around her chin and pulled it up to look at him._

_"I'll grow on you." His head bounced slightly as he laughed deeply. Her small fingers moved to trace the laugh lines on his face._

_"I hope I can say the same." Tami stretched under his body. His fingers moved to lay lazily at her hip, "But I have a request for now." He raised an eyebrow down at her, "Draw me like one of your French girls. With permission this time." They laughed in unison._

_Long after he had finished his drawing and they had slipped a few more drinks into the tent, Tami lay with her body against his abdomen. His clothing had been divided between them. His jeans slipping on his own hips as she was swallowed in his shirt. She brought a hand to her nose and stifled the slight cry in her throat. Tami was happy here. Even with his steel grip around her middle keeping her slightly cramped on the small cot. Another part of her sided to try and stay. Her abdomen shuttered with the cry in her throat._

_"S'okay.' Arthur spoke in a sleepy tone. He tightened his grip even further if possible. Tami wished it could be, but it wasn't okay. Not in the slightest. In the deepest pits of herself she didn't want to leave. The comfort and warmth were something she had always longed for; however, she also didn't want to remember this come morning time. Tami knew this would affect her want to leave. In truth, it already was._


	12. An Old American Past Time

Her fingers rose and fell as the lines appeared in her own little journal. Black leather bound with fresh empty pages she could express herself onto. The sweet musky scent of a new journal that hadn't been touched before reminded her of school. The excitement of the first day with new supplies. A strange addiction she had always kept to herself. If someone were to open her closet in her apartment they would see stacks of unused art and writing supplies.

Bright sun sparkles down onto the water. Warming her skin and the delicate waves that lapped at her feet eagerly.

"It seems you are just full of surprises."

"Is that so?" Tami didn't look up from her writing. The last few words that flew from her fingers were a little sloppy as they were rushed, but she happily finished them, "Do tell, I love a good psychologist first thing in the morning." The journal snapped shut while she slipped her pencil into the bun at the top of her head.

Dutch gave a half smirk as he came to a full stop next to her. In her slouched sitting position, Tami's shoulder barely came up to his knee, "I'm glad you chose to come back, despite the circumstances."

"Despite you trying to kidnap me, you mean." Tami looked up and bumped his shin with her side, "Don't worry 'bout it Dutch. I should have never left."

"Why did you leave if I may ask?" He questioned lightly. Tami let a breath out of her nose and thumbed her journal, "You were badly hurt, I thought you died for the longest time. They found a body out by a trail we tracked you from. Found out it was just a local man."

"Arthur did. He seen things I shouldn't have showed him." She turned her head and sighed.

"Arthur made you leave... but he also aided in your return. Do I sense a budding romance?" Dutch lit up a cigar and thumbed his black vest, "Wedding bells perhaps?" He teased when he saw the twisted look on her face.

"Oh yes Dutch, I would love to lay under his body and whisper wonton things. Spread my legs for him and only him. Sit in his tent day in and out, licking his boots clean." Tami used a mocking tone, "No, I'm not wife material. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in semi-permanent pregnancy waiting for my unfaithful husband to come home and beat me." She stretched her legs so that her ankles slipped into the water, "I never had the urge for kids anyway. I lose my freedom, for what? Wiping someone's ass every day. No thanks."

"You seem to be defending yourself a little too much, dear." Dutch moved to revere her. She was a pretty woman, and even had a few good qualities about her. If Dutch had noticed these facts, certainly Arthur had as well. He was a man after all. It seemed she had noticed that Arthur was a handsome man as well. By the way she grabbed her shoulders and blushed at the thoughts Dutch had put into her head. Dutch turned his head back to the sky and pondered over his newly won information.

"And you never speak to me unless it's something you want." Tami moved to stand. One hand steadying her rise as the other clutched her Journal, "So, tell me. What does the mighty Leader want with this lowly peon."

She stopped to admire the camp. Morning dew touched every surface, giving the appearance of glass and flashes of silver. Each tent stood erect and tall. Holding life inside each and every one of them. Chickens danced around each other as the Horses watched them with little interest. The roll of Charle's shoulders as he stood watchful over the sleeping gang. His loose hair moving with the slight summer wind. A smile touched her lips slightly. It was a strange beauty to see things when they were silent and still.

"You remember the Braithwaites?" Dutch paused and watched to make sure Tami understood where he was going with it. A slight smile tugged at her lips, "They have a matriarch of sorts. Catherine Braithwaite has an affinity for truth sayers, fortune tellers, card reading, and the like. I am going to need you and Hosea to entertain her. Hosea will be your ring master. The two of you have been separated from your caravan and need to stay the night. Rumor has it, they have gold. Lots of it. I need you to find out where."

"I'll try my best. But wont you need Hosea to slip his charm over them when you try to sell back the moonshine over there? And wouldn't two trips from strangers not ring a bell? What if she sees us in town..." Dutch waved a hand to stop her.

"You have a fair point." He eyed her and went to rub his chin, "Didn't think about selling the moonshine yet, tho..."

"How about I go in alone and haggard looking. They would believe a girl on foot a lot more than some big fancy show." Tami stuttered to hopefully distract him, "You have Hosea and Arthur sell the moonshine later that day. I get a 'ride' into town with them. Right? Boom perfect." She slapped her hands together in excitement. A bleary eyed Javier nearly fell from the log he was sitting on as the loud slap reverberated across camp.

"Suppose that's a really good plan." Dutch grumbled to himself.

"You came up with most of it. I just smoothed out a few pieces in a feminine way." Tami wiggled her hips in a lighthearted motion, "It's easier to piggyback off of someone when most of the traps been set, you know?" She hoped the flattery would soothe him enough he would forget her slip up of the moonshine. She wasn't quite sure where her footing was within the mission storyline was, even now. Everything was going out of order it seemed.

"Flattery will get you everywhere." Dutch hummed and pulled on his mustache, "I'll converse with Hosea over this. If everything goes to plan you may be paying a visit to the Braithwaites very soon."

"Oh yay, I always wanted to walk into the lion's den." Tami held up her fists in mock excitement, "Cross that off my bucket list." Her fists met her hips as a smile widened on her lips. Dutch shook his head and made his way away towards where old man Hosea was already up drinking coffee. Tami looked to her shared tent and bit her bottom lip. Arthur was already acting weird, and any time their bare skin touched it was like adding dry wood to a thirsty flame. Her nails bit into the palm of her hands as she looked for anyone else to bother in the morning.

The soft sound of guitar strings being plucked brought her eyes towards the scout flame. Javier was still sitting on the log he had nearly fallen from earlier.

"Morning speed racer." Tami held her journal in one hand and her boots in the other as she approached where Javier sat.

"If I remember correctly, you won that race." He moved his guitar to his feet to allow her a place to sit.

"To be honest, I cheated a little. Jump into into a carriage doesn't fit the rules of street horse racing." She waved her hands in the air and laughed a little at herself. When she ploped down a small noise of pain escaped her as the wood jammed into her ass.

"Careful there, don't want to damage the goods." Javier flicked the rim of his hat and chuckled lightly.

"So you've been looking?" she raised an eyebrow and began to pull her boots onto soggy feet.

"I'm a man, mujer dulce. It would be a lie to say no one did look." Javier gave a smirk as Tami began to blush.

"Wouldn't tell Arthur that." Charles spoke in a quiet but light tone as he sat on the other side of the fire. His breath released a groan as sore muscles relaxed.

"What? You look as his ass too? Javier I'd never expect!" Tami mock gasped and acted like she was clutching at pearls. Charles choked back a laugh and placed a tan hand to his mouth to hide his smirk.

"No no no... Hey you, no." Javier held up a finger to Charles who raised his hands up in a surrender motion as Tami laughed deeply.

"Ain't nothing wrong with it Javier." Tami reached over to nudge Javier with a grin on her face.

"You're lucky I'm a gentleman." Javier eyed her with a low warning. His lips fighting not to upturn into a smile.

"I'm sure you are _such_ a gentlemen. How many women have you lead on with that latin lover act?" Tami looked to Charles and raised an eyebrow, "Do you know?"

"None that I've ever seen." Charles gave a close lipped chuckle as Javier gave him side eye.

"How dare you call my manliness into question." Javier took a hand to his chest and leaned back. His arms crossed as he eyed the two trouble makers, "Besides, I've lost count."

"How about you, Charles? Use that Native American charm?" Tami leaned forward and put her elbows on her knees.

"Well, why don't you come find out." He stood and rolled his shoulders. Her head tilted to the side and her smile took a confused look, "I would like to formally thank you for asking about 'the kids'."

"What..." she turned her head to the side before noticing the slight predatory way his stance had changed to, "Oh, you want to fight?" She shook her head and opened her mouth only to close it again.

"Your form was bad already, was wondering if you'd be able to handle yourself if you weren't held down."

Tami stood up and set her journal onto the log, "Didn't peg you for the kinky type." The cuffs of her shirt wrapped on top itself as she rolled them up to her elbows, "Alright, Charles. Let's dance."

Tami's leg barely made it to his head when he grabbed it and threw it down, "I could see that from a mile away." He huffed lowly. A palm came into contact with her neck. Not enough to truly hurt, but enough to sting lightly. She raised her eyebrows and stepped lightly on her feet.

"How very out of character." She mused before throwing a punch at his face. He brought both hands up to block it leaving his middle undefended. Her knee came up to connect with his middle. Using his stun against him, Tami stepped on his foot and hooked the other leg around to strike his hip with her heel. Charles took a step forward and grunted lowly. His eyes turned to her mixed with approval and silent ferocity.

"You sure use your legs a lot for a fist fight." Javier spoke lightly. Charles used the distraction to wrap his arms around Tami's ankle and pull. She let out a yelp and hopped around on one foot as he drug her close enough just to palm her hard against the gut. She let out a low wheeze. Her hands came to her middle long enough to make Charles look up to Javier who shrugged. Charles met the ground suddenly as a weight hit him in his chest. Something touched his throat, sharp yet not a knife. He looked down in surprise to see the tip of a pencil touching his Adams apple.

"Did you see that one?" She smirked. Charles grabbed her thighs hard and flipped her onto her back using his chin to pull the pencil up into his mouth. Teeth gouged the soft wood as he bit it out of her hands.

"Did you see that?" He asked. Tami brought her knee up and pushed against his body. Even through the slight ache to her muscles she laughed. Charles gave a slight smile.

"Cheating, Charles. She had you fair and square." Javier sat from his perch with a smirk, "You're going soft if a woman beat you."

Tami let out a laugh as Charles stood with a grunt. He reached a hand and helped her to her feet, "Good fight." She commented and choked back a gasp as the cold bite reached into her bones._The ghost of Charles laughing and laying with a beautiful woman met her mind. A happiness only found with a new family. His hand shifted to touch the swelling stomach of the woman laying beside him. _Her hand jerked back and she placed it onto her side. Charles shifted his gaze to Javier.

"If you think it's so easy, be my guest." Charles offered a hand to Javier before waving it back at Tami. She straightened her shirt and rolled her eyes.

"Do I get a say in this?" She quipped lightly. Her hand idally scratched at the painful feeling in her stomach. Javier stood and rolled up his sleeves. A glint of danger in his eyes as a predatory grin came over his face. The notion of how truly dangerous the man under the facade was came through.

"Consider it a rematch." He spoke in a slow tone, "You keep winning everything, mujer dulce, I can't have that."

Tami didn't deny the strange spike to her gut as he advanced towards her. Charles shook his head and turned to walk away. Javier tossed his hat to the side and admired the way she looked over him. He noticed the sine in her eyes that told him she was sizing him up. Her fingers balling and unballing as she started to flex her own muscles.

Before she could react Javier lashed out. His strike was exponentially harder than Charles' hits. The slap of his fist against her side invoking a strange adrenalyn rage inside of her. A reaction inside of her slithered forward. A beast taking over made of pure instinct. His first landed another blow on the wrists of her defending arms. Her muscles flexed as she lashed out. Her fingers wrapped around his throat as she pulled him closer to her. She could see the look in his eyes. Nearly slit like a wild cat, smirk of a man with all the knowledge of his strength. It was intoxicating in the way a fall for the villian of a movie would be.

Tami's arms bunched as she pulled against her throat and forced her knee into his gut. His hands were faster and twisted the limb to keep it from walling into the soft skin of his abdomen. His lips brushed her ear, "You're predictable."

She used the way he held her leg as leverage to sweep her other one under his legs to try and trip him. Her fingers gripping into his throat causing red to start vibrating from the flesh there. A wave of cold erupted under her fingers and broke into her spine, "No." She whispered.

_Rage, Hot red rage flashed first. The taste of stale sweat and alcohol raged inside of her mouth. Her eyes flew to where Javier stood, looking worse for wear. She knew that outfit. Tami was confused at the fact she could see so far into the future. Javier standing over a woman. Cruel grin on his face, "My dear, it seems your husband didn't follow the rules." His fingers fumbled with his belt. The gnarled unkempt fingernails scraped against the leather. Tami bent over and held her stomach as bile rose into her throat. The sound of a screaming woman scratching on her eardrums. Followed by quiet sobbing as Javier's grunts came loud and clear._

"Are you okay?" Javier looked into the tears on her face, "Hey, hey. I didn't mean to..."

"Don't touch me. Let me go you monster. I saw you... I fucking saw you..." Tami turned and actually threw up onto the ground. The screaming of the unknown woman still rang in her ears. A fog of the future kept rational thinking at bay. Javier's face twisted into horror.

"What was so horrible that..."

"You raped her. There is no charm there, only a black hole." Tami snarled and pulled herself away. She didn't expect him to let go so easily and pulled too hard. Her head hit a fallen log behind her. Stars flew into her vision as a garbled scream of pain left her throat.

Tami couldn't breath. The pain in her head exploded into a million tiny pieces. The taste of warm copper filled her mouth until it overflowed. Red nectar flowed from the corners of her mouth. The sound of voices reached a level that she could barely understand. Hands grabbing at her body. One eye saw a bright white room while the other focused on the bright sunrise coupled with fluffy clouds.

_'Stabilize her, damnet!'_

"What the hell did you do?!"

_'Increase the airflow into her lungs.'_

"We were just sparring, She fell and..."

_'Sir... there... there's blood in the intubation tube.'_

"What happened?"

_"Tami, can you hear us... her pupil is following me... only one."_

"Turn her on her side. Let the blood drain."

_"Tami..."_

"Tami..."

_Sleep child. We are not done with you yet._

* * *

"My fucking head. Why me?" Tami sat up in her cot to see John sitting at the end of it. His hat was pulled over his eyes and one foot was propped on the metal bar of the cot with his back against the carriage of ammo.

"I'd like to ask who those people were. What that place was." John tipped his hat up and looked at her. His hand moved slowly to lay on her bent leg. Eyes searching hers for information.

"The people who did this to me." Tami shook and tried to sit up. The tent spun like crazy. Her stomach flipped as the nausea reached its peak. John squinted hard at her. His head twisted in surpsise. John's body reacted before he could stop himself. A bucket placed at the right spot just in time to catch the bile from her lips. His hand brushing her hair behind her ears.

"Take it easy." He cooed gently. Tami looked at him in surprise. A hand moving to wipe the green from her bottom lip.

"How did you..." She bent to dry heave into the bucket once more. A tin cup full of water entered her hazy vision.

"It's like I can feel every bit of you." John admitted lowly, "I feel crazy."

"Something different happened with you." Tami admitted. Her slim fingers wrapped around the cup and she took a deep swallow of the warm water.

"Easy there." John shifted so that his arm was around her back.

"Never had a big brother before." She teased weakly, "Kinda like being babied." John scoffed lightly as a grin broke out along Tami's lips.

"Not to disregard what your sayin', but what happened. Between us." He moved a hand to lay her head down onto the cot and moved back to his sitting position.

"When I saw your future, it bugged out. Like a glitch almost. It didn't happen the way it was supposed to. Two heartbeats tied together, two souls touching. For a minute we were two souls in one body ... Like..." Tami paused as realization came over her. Eyes opened as a gasp came to her lips. It made sense now. Why the game had bonded them like it had. Everything had a reason. Even this, "Like twins." she breathed.

"Ain't heard of twins in one body before." John sniffled and crossed his arms.

"No no... not like... Look, when a woman is pregnant and has identical twins they are one egg at first." As she spoke John shook his head.

"Women don't lay eggs." He huffed.

"Just be quiet and listen to me. It's one egg that splits into two. There are stories that twins feel each other and can even talk to each other in their minds somewhat. But both are either male or female not both..." Tami looked to the top of the tent.

_But we make the rules here, don't we child. Once a doorway is open you can walk through, either way._

Tami scrunched her face, "Basically, when I used my power on you. Our tie as twins bonded us even further. It's possible you're like me in some way... Once a doorway is open you can walkthrough both ways. I opened the doorway into you, and you can use it to me now. But then again I'm not an expert in this. Just a pawn of it." Tami met John's eyes. His confusion was swimming like crazy.

"That's a lot to take in." John laid his head back and gazed into the side of the tent.

"You're tellin' me. I live with this shit." Tami sighed and rolled onto her side. She pressed her feet against John's leg in an awkward stretch, "It's kinda lonely." A weak smile came across her lips.

"What am I to you then?" He asked softly, "I'm right here sis. I know I wasn't there for you all those years ago, but I'm here now. I'd kill anyone who would come in the way of that." A hand touched her hip gently and squeezed. It was refreshing to feel a human touch that wasn't full of sexual tension, manipulation, or a job to do. It was just comfort. Protection in its purest form. His eyes and touch offered plain comfort. Tami felt tears start to come to her eyes, "Hey now... Did I say something wrong?' He asked.

Tami shook her head and held her lips tightly as the first tears started to fall, "No, John. You said everything right." Small fingers wiped the tears from her face, "I'm happy that something good has come out of this. For once." She laughed at her self. Taking comfort in a computer program. God, was she a joke.

"Just take it easy, alright? You knocked yourself pretty damn good. Javier nearly got his ass kicked."

"Twice." Arthur moved into the tent and reached for his gun belt, "Hey John, Dutch wants us to case Rhodes with him. Says it's important."

"I don't think it would be a good idea to leave her alone right now." John felt a strange mixture of emotions run through him. His eyes looked to the black locks on the back of Tami's head that were crusted with dried blood.

"She won't be alone, I'm sure Grimshaw or one of the women will look after her." Arthur straightened his shoulders and tried hard not to glance into her tired eyes.

"My knight in shining armor." Tami gave sarcastically. Arthur's eyes met hers. They shared a slight smile.

"I don't know." John sat forward, "I don't think I should leave."

Tami grabbed his hand and held it firmly in her own. A warmth radiated between them. A bond that kept the cold bite of her mind at bay, "Don't worry, I'll be fine. No more wrestling for me. Go."

John raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth.

"Shhh, just go." Tami held her smile until she left, but once the tent flap lowered she was alone with the hollow feeling of loneliness. She curled her fingers against the fabric of her shirt and tried to think through it. The warmth John had made her feel radiated through, yet wasn't enough to kill the sickening feeling in her gut. Was this home all along? It was getting hard to separate her memories. Tami sat up the reached for her journal, fighting the wave of nausea that came through her. She had to get this out. Tami had to start writing before it was too late.

It was deep into the night when John slowly lifted the tent flap. A meal sat at on the small table in the tent, untouched and presumably cold. Her hand resting to her side holding a pencil, as her chest rose and fell with sleeping breaths. Curious eyes looked to her journal seeing the white room sketched out in detail as he had seen it. Quiet as possible he snuck into the tent and tried to grab the thing resting on her lap. She turned to her side hiding her face in dirty hair and hummed lightly. The blanket hooked into her arm as she burrowed herself into them. John hid a slight smirk at her appearance. Only the hair on her head was exposed as her legs curled into her body.

John looked at the journal and took a deep breath, "You're in my tent because?" He turned to see Arthur working at the buttons of his vest.

"She drew something." John stated eyeing the paper, "I dream of this place." His whisper was low enough that Arthur had to strain to hear it.

Emerald eyes looked around the slender frame of the man in front of him to gaze at the picture. The words _I don't belong here_ repeated themselves on the other page like a twisted mantra. He had to admit that his curiosity peaked as well,.

"They did this to her. I don't know how, but those carnies that stole her. They did this to her somehow." John closed the journal and set it aside.

"How do you think that?" Arthur moved to let John leave the tent.

"We talked before I left. She told me that place belonged to the people who did this to her." A loud snore startled both of them. They looked to the tiny thing curled onto the cot and wondered how something so small could make so much noise.

"I thought she could do the whole fortune teller thing long before that." Arthur pointed out and made John scrunch his face. The black haired man scratched his scars and sighed, "You ever find it a little strange that not only did you have a twin sister that we have never seen before. You don't have pictures of her. I went through my old journals and I can't find anything written about her."

"Why would you write about her?" John pointed out flatly, "We weren't well off anyway. They don't really have you sit for pictures when you don't have a family." John felt a wave of something sharp hit his mind. A memory of the orphanage came forward. It was unburnt and there wasn't a notion of Tami anywhere. A warbling sound came to his ears as he placed his fingers to his temples.

"I wrote about everyone, John." Arthur explained and looked down at her, "But not her. She says so herself, She doesn't belong here."

"Are you implying she's not real?" John asked in a deeper tone. Both men started raising their voices to the point they didn't notice when the snoring stopped, "Touch her, Arthur. She's very fuckin' real. I see you watching her. The whole camp does. What are you plannin'? You gonna hurt her? Kick her out again? I won't let you Arthur, not this time."

"I did what I thought was right to protect the gang. She appeared out of thin air, promising the future. Dutch was wrapped around her finger. She calculates things. You see it in her too." Arthur sighed and rubbed the stubble on his chin, "She's cryptic, knows things no one should know its..."

"Devastating." Tami finished his sentence without moving. The men's voices grew silent. Tami stood up on weak legs and John began to protest, "No... No I won't stay with someone who talks of me like..." Like what? Like she doesn't exist. Tami moved her fingers and watched the tendons under her skin move. She felt very real even if she knew she was not, "Move."

"Dutch had strict orders to keep you with me." Arthur crossed his arms.

"Trust me I ain't running. My head is bursting at the seams. I just need..."

"Sleep." John moved to block the exit with Arthur. His blue orbs carrying a look of softness to them, "We can go over this in the morning. We shouldn't have woken you."

"John's right. Look I can sleep outside tonight." Arthur offered as John's bony elbow jammed into his side. The shared a glare between them.

Tami felt a rush of nausea hit her and laid down slowly. A twinge of pain hit her gut. John twisted his head and narrowed his eyes at her.

"You're hungry." He pressed Tami blinked a few times and looked at him in awe.

"What did you say?" She asked.

"You're hungry... did I?" John paused and looked to Arthur.

"I heard you." Arthur shrugged.

"No I just..." Tami grabbed at her stomach and wondered. She had felt thirsty before. In fact, it was almost like she always had a dried mouth. Drinking water provided her with little releif. Tami blinked a few times and tried to remember when she was truly hungry. The twisting feeling in her gut when she hadn't eaten in so long was foreign to her. Before it had just been a slight grumble within herself. Like when you had an unsatisfying bowl of soup. Eating hadn't really brought her much joy before. The taste was basic and bland. A second strange feeling hit her like the first. Like a pressure in her lower belly threatening to burst. She let out a low gasp, "I... uh... I have to pee."

Arthur raised his eyebrows at her as John blushed, "We didn't need to know that." Arthur stated matter of factly.

"Yeah, you do. I need to get out so I can..." Tami rubbed her head and blinked back the confusion. In the time she had been here she had never had to attend to the call of nature. It was freeing to not have that urge, but all of a sudden it cramped her insides with the built up need. She tried to stand, but felt a large weight like water slowing her limbs. Her body wasn't responding the way it should. As if she had to put more effort in simply twitching a finger, "How hard did I hit my head?" Tami asked softly.

"Here." John moved awkwardly around Arthur and pulled her hair apart. Arthur snapped and grabbed John's arm before hs could get a good look at her head.

"Don't touch it. You could infect it with your hands." Arthur gave with a sigh.

"It's already gone, isn't it?" Tami asked in a pained whisper. John looked between them with question in his eyes as Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Fuck it. Go ahead." The blond man let go and took a step back.

John resumed his search for the open wound on her scalp. He pressed against the flawless skin in an attempt to find at least a puckered edge. His eyebrows knit together in frustration as his search intensified, "Where?" He asked lowly as his fingers grazed every inch of her head, "Where is it?"

"It's gone, like she said." Arthur waved a hand over her, "Like fuckin' magic."

"I told you they did something to her." John hissed lowly. Anger built up inside of him as he reached for the only logical reasoning he could come up with, "Those people ain't right."

"I need you both to leave now." Tami whispered softly, "I'm tired and I need to void myself in peace."

Both men looked at eachother and pulled their lips into a thin line, "If you need anything..." Arthur started.

"We'll be outside." John finished. He pushed a complaining Arthur out of his own tent to leave Tami alone. Her fingers rubbed into her hair to find filth and gunk, but no wound. A pain coiled in her bladder again. She would have to put her hunt to rest as the need to void herself overcame everything else.

* * *

The morning came sooner than Tami would have liked. The headache behind her eyes blurred even harder than before. She made her way to where Mary Beth and Abigail were elbow deep in washing clothes. Tilly and Karen were off to the wide hanging some clothes up on a wire. Tami stopped and watched them work. The women talked amongst themselves. Joking and laughing as they worked away with their own separate tasks. A small smile touched her lips and a need to be like them arose in her chest. To have a place where she felt fulfilled, even just a little bit. Maybe even a family.

The beauty in the way they waved their hands, hair falling from carefully placed updos, and the way their skirts wrapped around their legs were not lost. Graceful even when knees down into the ground and sleeves pulled up to do the dirty work. It was like watching bones work carefully to keep it's precious organs working and in place. Not always thought of, and forgotten easily but strong. There was a silent importance to their work. Tami felt herself drawn to it.

"I see you're doing better." Hosea startled her out of her thoughts, "I thought Dutch would give you a few more days to rest, but he is itching to get this job over with."

"If I looked how I feel, my head would separate from my shoulders and explode." Tami turned to meet his wise eyes. She tried to pretend not to notice the stiff way he stood while around her. His voice so rarely used around her it sounded foreign. He was wary of her in a different way than most. Careful and precise in his movements. Keeping a good distance that would still be considered polite, "When has Dutch been patient?"

Hosea gave a dry laugh. He stood quiet for a few moments watching her gaze back to the other women longingly in silence.

"There was a time that I was normal, you know. Before all this." She shook her head slowly. The breeze of wind picked up her dirty hair. Blue eyes turned to gaze at Hosea once again, "My life wasn't very fulfilling, but it was mine. I wasn't rich or all knowing. Just little 'ol Tami. Surviving."

"Sometimes just surviving isn't enough. I see pain in you when you talk of your old life. The few times I hear of it. You hide the pain behind dry humor." Hosea pointed out causing a silent laugh to grace her throat.

"I would expect wise old man Hosea to notice." Tami smiled at him, but faltered when she noted the way he kept his eyes guarded, "I miss your kindness. Hearing your wisdom."

"I'm always around." Hosea offered gently. The way her voice broke reminded him of the human that was under the magical facade. Trauma never came out of a person two ways.

"Not for me." Tami's smile turned sad. Her eyes turning to look back at the women, "I've been avoiding them for too long. They took me in open arms when the rest of camp would cast me aside. They look at me like I'm a real person. Bonded with me, and I threw that away because of fear... I miss Jenny." Tami dropped her head as tears threatened to spill. Grief finally hitting her as the denial of the other woman left her, "She never looked at me like anything but Tami. It was nice." Tami felt her lips wobble as she tried to reign in her emotions.

"I don't know what to say." Hosea took a step towards her. Not close enough to touch, but enough to show that his comfort was growing, if only a little.

"You don't have to say anything. Thanks..." Tami turned her head to see a tall handsome Dutch leaning against his tent post. Light music started coming from within. Molly gave a little nod from where she sat, "For listening. Sometimes it helps just to hear our own voices." Tami turned and gave Hosea's shoulder a gentle pat. His muscles bunched under her skin. She drew her hand back trying not to show her hurt.

"Glad I could help then." Hosea bit at his bottom lip and turned to busy himself somewhere else.

"Hey, Hosea?" Tami asked making him stop in his tracks, "Do you think you'd ever see me as a normal person?"

"I'm... not sure." His honesty hurt her. She nodded solemnly before turning to look at where Dutch was watching her. Her eyes rolled before she could stop them causing her exploding headache to get worse.

Tami started a slow walk towards Dutch's tent. Her boots crunched on dead grass and old limbs. The almost sickly sweet smell of summer wafting to her nose causing her head to pound harder. The sunlight offering her skin it's presence.

"It's good to see you alive and well. How's your head?" He spoke before she had even made it all the way to him.

"Haven't had any complaints." Her lips quirked upward as the words slipped before she could stop it.

"What?" His word caught up in the chuckle that left his throat. An strange look on his face almost a full mixture of confusion and humor.

"Oh... uh... it's a joke. Just a joke." Tami put her hands up and waved them side to side, "Seriously, stop looking at me like that!" Dutch's chuckle turned into a laugh as a soft snicker came from Molly behind him. She had a small hand to her mouth and her cheeks were red. Tami blushed but felt her own laugh in her chest grow.

"Uh-huh." Molly managed to get out between snickers.

"Some aspirin would be amazing right now truth be told." Tami tried hard to change the conversation.

"Aspirin?" Dutch asked slowly.

"Uh, yeah... forgot. I mean medication for my head. It's hurting badly." Tami rubbed the back of her head idly. Molly rose from where she sat and placed a hand to Tami's shoulder gently.

"I'll be back." She whispered. Her body was like magic when she walked. The simple way to her limbs that screamed elegance. Tami found herself watching with a bit of jealousy.

"WIll you be able to go to the Braithwaites today?" Tami sighed at Dutch's forwardness. She felt a little hurt at his sudden impersonal shift of attitude. Her fingers dug into the palms of her hands, but she knew she needed to keep going. As Mateo had said before, the game needed to go forward for them to leave. A simple headache shouldn't stop it. She had already been here too long. How long had it been already?

"I'll need to bath first." Tami broke from her own thoughts. Obligations to herself and Mateo driving her forward into the abyss.

"Actually, I think the way you look will be perfect. We may have to rub dirt on your skin and find a few old clothes to tear into. After all, you're supposed to have been lost." Dutch shrugged and Tami nodded.

"That's truthfully a great idea." Her stomach flipped as Dutch preened himself under her half compliment, "I'm still nervous, I was never good at improv. How do you know I'll pull this off?"

"I have faith in you." Dutch spoke honestly. His hand rested on her arm and squeezed, "But I do want to make sure you are okay. What happened yesterday was a lot. I know I seem pushy, but I do care." Tami felt shock turn her lips into an 'o' shape. A soft sigh and smile appeared on her face.

"Thank you, Dutch. I'll try."

* * *

Tami was shaking in fear as she turned down the long road to the Braithwaite manor. Her legs were already tired from walking so far. Red dress torn by knifes and hands to create a battered look. Dirt and dried mud cakes her hair and body. She felt absolutely disgusting and foolish. And when the guns started pointing in her direction fear tore into her soul like a wild cat into its meal.

"You better turn around, _girl_." The tall man walked to the middle of the road, his hand lay on the gun belt around his hips. Old torn gates stood behind him, once proud but now falling to ruin. The two men standing to either side of him held shotguns pointed to her.

"I'm so sorry, I've just been walking for hours. My caravan was attacked. I don't know why we weren't rich, we are... were just carnys. I'm just a fortune teller. My horse was shot she made it far enough I was able to escape, but... I... Please." Tami let the tears fall from her face as anxiety took it's hold. Her arms balls to her body in an attempt to shield her vital organs. The futile defense wasn't lost on her, "I just want to go home." The honest cry tore from her throat. Words broken and trembling as she let feelings overtake her into its whirlwind of uncertainty.

"Who is this girl?!" A shrill voice broke through her sobs.

"Don't quite know, Miss. She showed up and is talkin' about being attacked. Says she's a fortune teller." As he spoke Tami moved her arm down to her leg. The blade of a hidden knife in her sleeve bit into the skin as she shook in pain. Hidden by the dress of her skirt she easily pulled it up her calp to the back of her knee. Tami felt every tear of self mutilation as the weird crunch from the knife cutting her skin surprised her. Her cries became harsher as she pushed the blade back into its hiding spot. Her fingers clasping around the open wound. _Don't fucking heal._ She begged in her mind. _Please don't heal, yet._

"Get her inside and make the bleeding stop. I'll speak with her. Make sure she isn't left alone." Tami looked through bleary eyes as arms surrounded her body.

"If you're a fortune teller why couldn't you see the attack?" A man grunted as they carried the limping woman into the house. She hissed with each painful step.

"I... I... I can't see my own future." Tami scrambled for an answer. It came to her easily after a few moments of fumbling through the fog of pain in her mind. The idea slipped to her as easily as water through cracks. It didn't strike her as hard as it should have in the moment.

"Set her down there. You get me some water... And a glass for her to drink too I guess." The tall man grumbled as he followed them into the house. Tami grunted as a shotgun hit her face when one of the men turned to leave.

"Thanks." Her hand went to wipe her face.

"Not a good idea." The tall man said and nodded to the bloodied hand. Tami pulled her lips down in disgust and nodded. The man who wiped her new wound was more gentle than she expected. His hands were gentle as it turned her leg around to reach the large gash. She blushed at the clear growing of hair on it. Her body relaxed as he gave her comfort with his kindness.

"Been a while since I've seen a woman's leg, shame it's damaged." The man at her feet gave a lecouris grin. Tami suddenly felt a lot less comfortable in his hands.

"Take this." The second gunman offered her a slightly dirty glass of water. She muttered a soft thanks before gulping it down. Weariness didn't have to be forced. Her muscles were already sore from her journey, and the adrenalyn from arriving was wearing off.

"When you're done, I want you all to leave. Except you James." Tami watched the tall man nod as the older woman arrived into the small room. She let her eyes wonder for a moment and took out the good taste. It was much better kept than the outside. Chairs and tables dusted down to every detail. Grand curtains pulled back to allow the large windows to filter in the light, "Your name, girl."

Tami snapped back to the present and bowed her head in a hiss as the man started wrapping her leg tightly, "Destiny." The older woman gave a slight gasp that turned into a toothy grin.

"From Saint Denis. I've heard of you. Disappeared before I could come visit. There was a bit to-do when you left." She sat and looked over Tami with excitement. Tami gave a half laugh half gasp against the pain, "Be careful with her." The woman snapped suddenly to the man on the ground.

"I was getting so stressed from living in the city. Went back on the road with my old group, but we got attacked a few days in. I've been stumbling around in the wilds for days."

"Days? This wound looks fresh." James crossed his arms and looked over her from where he stood in the doorway. The man at her feet finished the bindings and rose to leave.

"I trapped a rabbit and tried to skin it. Slipped and cut myself, I knew Rhodes was near and have been down roads trying to find help." Tami tried not to notice the uncertain look on James' face.

"I'm glad you found us first. You would have surly bleed out." The woman put a hand into Tami's and gave a gentle yet predatory smile, "I am..."

"Catherine Braithwaite." Tami started to gasp for breath as the cold bit into her hard.

_Catherine was on the ground, bloody and broken. Arthur was standing over her grabbing onto the top of her dress, "Where is she!?" _

_Catherine gave a garbled laugh, "I sold her to Bronte, you're never going to see her again." Tami reached out to try and stop Arthur's fist from connecting with her face. The cold enveloped her as her body fell through his. Catherine screamed out as the smell of smoke rolled through the room._

_"That's enough, son." Dutch glowered down at Catherine, "The place is burning down. We need to get out."_

_Tami reached out and tried to speak. The cold feeling pushed on her chest and grabbed at her vocal cords. The fire touched her body, and burned like hell as she tried to run down the stairs after the others. Screams came out of different rooms as the fire reached a suffocating peak. Her skin felt like it was melting, lungs started to burn as the smoke enveloped her. The warmth broke the cold from her throat. When she ran out of the front door she fell onto her knees and grabbed at her burning body._

_"I'm right here! Help me!" Arthur looked up. Shock and horror crossed his face as he reached out for her. John ran at the house in a fury, "John!" She reached for him in a panic. Her eyes closed as the cold came back with a vengeance. Closing her muscles into cramped positions as something pulled her back into the house._

Tami gasped and shook as she came to. Catherine pulled her hand back and watched the sweat start to bead and roll down Tami's face. Tami blinked a few times as the world started to come back into view. Her head whipped around to look for any sign of the smoke or fire, "Th... There will be a fire here. You must be careful. There will be a boy that you take." Tami shook her head and tried to fight the feeling of fire still on her skin, "Don't, he will bring untold horror and death into this house."

Catherine sat back and looked over Tami hard, "We're not thieves or going to kidnap children." She huffed hotly.

"I never said you were." Tami shook her head, "You try to give him a home." She lied through gritted teeth, "He will destroy your home from the inside." Tami reached forward and grabbed her knees trying to catch her breath.

"Sorry to bother you ma'am, but there are two gentlemen here with moonshine." One of the gunmen interrupted. Catherine stood up and straightened her skirts.

"I... uh... I need some air." Tami grabbed at her chest and stood to follow. She tried to add a limp to her walk as the pain in her leg subsided long ago. She paused one last time to look behind her. The feeling of fire on her skin was still an absolute nightmare. Swallowing hard she turned and left the building.

* * *

"It was literal hell. There isn't any gold there, and the shit I saw and felt... God I was on fire." Tami started working on bandaging her leg as the moonshine clinked around her. Hosea threw a bag back to her. She nearly squealed from happiness at the clean clothing inside. Tami used Arthurs water and tore a rag off of her dress to wipe off her body before putting on the new clothes completely unabashed. The nude colored under clothing were coated with sweat and a bit of dirt, but did the job.

"Do you have to change now?" Arthur ground his teeth. Hosea looked back in question but turned to look back to the front like a shot. His spine became straight as he drove on.

"I was covered in shit and blood. Yes I do." Tami bit out and pulled on her shirt first. The black shirt was a little tight and buttoning it was a bitch. The green skirts came on easier and tied off easily. Her lips met her normal black boots as she tore off the tiny torn old boots from Tilly. God that woman's feet were small.

"So you did all that for nothing?" Hosea asked in a stiff tone.

"You weren't the one stuck in the future on fire. I'm sorry if me literally burning isn't a good enough excuse to me getting 'nothing'." Tami shook her head, "We need to be careful with her, and I'm not all fucking knowing. I can't always get exactly what were looking for! I'm not..."

"So what's the plan?" Arthur asked Hosea suddenly, "Since at least one of them have to go right." Tami started to fume in her anger and crossed her arms over her chest in a slight pout.

"Well, we go into Rhodes and give away this Moonshine like asked. You'll be my simple minded brother... Fenton." Hosea pulled a daft looking wide brimmed hat and placed it on Arthur's head. Tami started a snicker that turned into a full blown howl of laughter as Hosea pulled out an old pipe for Arthur.

"Arthur got these for you." Hosea turned to the now decent Tami to hand her a pair of black gloves.

Tami snickered and pulled on her gloves. She felt a wave of warmth at the notion, " You mean, Fenton." Hosea gave a smile as Arthur scowled from his seat. She shook her head and finished wiping the dirt from her face. Her fingers worked at tieing her hair into a messy bun. The green skirts fit her body well, but the black shirt was a little small. The buttons at her breasts pulled slightly. They arrived at the saloon in relative ease. Tami closing her eyes and sighed at the feeling the sun on her, wishing for the sensation of pleasure from it.

"Arthur just bring a few boxes up to the front, Tami... I'm not sure what you're gonna do. Maybe it's best if you stay out here." Hosea ordered as the two men jumped from the seats on the front of the wagon. Tami opened her eyes and went to argue.

"You want her to stay out here alone... in this town." Arthur raised an eyebrow, "I think that's just begging to have her stolen, or worse."

Hosea hummed and rubbed his chin, "Alright, Tami. We will just settle with you being Destiny for now. Just keep on the lost carny act." He sniffed and looked over her, "You look presentable."

"I may pick up a date or two if I'm presentable then." She teased softly She took Hosea's offered hand to jump down from the wagon. Her gloves providing a welcome distance from her ability, "How about you Fenton? Do you think I look presentable?"

Arthur gave a low grunt, but met her eyes from under the brim of his hat. Arousal mixed with approval and a hit of intimacy. She felt a wave of heat on her cheeks, and turned away suddenly. Hosea raised his eyebrows but bit his tongue at the display, "Come along then. We have a job to do." Tami flashed a smile to Hosea, "Lead on, Oh wise man."

Tami was in a world of fun. She danced, drank, and ate freely. Placing hands along shoulders as different men and women danced along with her. The laughter was bubbling to a fever pitch as the room spun in a warm way. Her mind wavering in and out of good decisions as she would flutter her lips across Arthur's knuckles when accepting a glass. Instinct and animalistic nature came to the forefront, crushing and suffocating the rational mind. She was attracted to him, there was no doubt to this fact, and the alcohol didn't help. Arthur had to clench his jaw each and every time she would return for a drink. She was winding him to the point of putting herself on a ledge, and they both knew it. She was too drunk to care.

The next approach she made was a wild one., "Fenton!" She slurred as she leaned across the counter, "C'mere." Arthur leaned in expecting her to whisper something. Her fingers wrapped around his shirt to pull him closer. Her lips brushed his. He locked his jaw tightly. Pressing against her chest gently with his own hand to try and push her back. He wanted to groan and fall into it. The memory of their night together intoxicating his veins. Arthur felt his own body working against him. Resistance slipping and just about to break when the door slammed open. Everyone jumped back as Lemoyne Raiders came in with a great grin.

Arthur pulled his arm around Tami's shoulders and pulled her over the counter, "Get down." He hissed lowly as she giggled.

"I like a bit of dominance." She hummed and reached to rub him through his pants.

"Lay off, this is serious." He bowed behind the counter and looked deep into her eyes, "You need to get a hold of yourself, sweetheart. You're gonna get yourself shot."

"Get her out of here." Hosea hissed as he dove behind the bar. A fight started to ensue behind them. He glanced to where her hand was in a very inappropriate position and tried not to notice there was a sizable reaction from the younger man in response, "I don't know what's going on and right now I don't care. There's about to be a gunfight and a big one. And you're drunk." Hosea pushed Tami's shoulder. She pouted and shook her head.

"Shhh'not drunk." She felt the room spin as she leaned against the bar, "Just kill 'em and wake me when you're done." She signed and closed her eyes.

"Arthur get her ass out of here, we'll talk later." Hosea hissed.

Tami had a little sensation of being flung into the air before the sun burned her eyes. The saddle hurt the bone of her ass she he dropped her onto it hard enough she swore she heard a crack, "You've got nice hands." she leaned onto his chest as he pulled himself off, "I like big strong hands."

"Just try to keep from fallin'." Arthur huffed as he shot out of Rhodes with her on his horse.

"Too late cowboy. I know I try to hide it, but god you make my heart go crazy." She mumbled and leaned into his chest harder. She took in his scent and felt the wind tickling her face.

"That so?" He looked to the road but raised an eyebrow at her words.

"I just can't be with you. Even if you would want me, I need to go home. And having you is unfortunately not a part of that. Mmm sometimes I wish it was." Her hand gripped the horn of the saddle for balance but used the free ont to touch his chest, "Strong heartbeat. Easy to sleep to."

"You already knew that." Arthur spoke lowly. She knitted her eyebrows in confusion, but couldn't find her way through her drunken mind to understand what he had said. Instead she listened to is heartbeat and felt her own breath rise and fall with the hoofbeats.

"Hey Arthur?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm drunk."

"I know."

* * *

John pulled Arthur aside when he finally returned. Karen had taken the very drunk Tami back to the other women much to the giggling and loud voices that rose with her arrival, "You felt it too, didn't you." John asked, "I know you did."

Arthur sucked at his teeth and kicked the dirt with his boot, "Yeah I did. Don't know why."

"Me neither, did you hear her?" John asked and crossed his arms.

"Yeah... I'm beginning to feel absolutely crazy." Arthur stretched his arms and felt his shoulders pop. He groaned as the feeling brought a slight bought of pleasure to him.

"I was running towards her. In the middle of goddamn camp, Running towards a fantom. She was on fire." John hissed and rubbed his face, "The looks they gave me, Abigail thought I was drunk."

"She said she saw herself on fire when trying to get something out of the Braithwaite woman." Arthur bit a slice of old skin off of his bottom lip.

John looked to where Tami was drunkenly spinning in her dress much to the singing and applause of the other women. The blush of alcohol and fun on her cheeks apparent even from a distance, "She doesn't go back there, ever." He stated firmly.

"Sure." Arthur agreed with a slight shrug, "Don't think Dutch'll be too happy she didn't find anything."

"She was on fuckin' fire." John hissed.

"I know..." Arthur sighed and pulled his hand down his face, "I fuckin' know."

John raised his arms just to drop them in frustration, "I felt something else." He looked into Arthur's eyes. Arthur raised an eyebrow and dropped his hand, "Stay away from her. She's my sister."

"Firstly Dutch forced us to share a tent. Secondly you don't control me, Marston. Get off of whatever white horse pedestal you're standin' on." Arthur started to stalk away.

"I know what happened, Arthur. And I know how it made her feel after. You're not good for her." John replied hotly making Arthur stop in his tracks.

"You stalkin' me now?"

"I can feel her emotions sometimes. Not all the time it's like bits and pieces at the best of times, but I felt what she did. She was drunk, Arthur. The fear and confusion. Just do me this one favor, hell don't do it for me. Do it for her." John crossed his arms and watched as Arthur left without reply. His teeth started to grind as he cast a glance to where Tami was now laying on her back laughing heartily. John rubbed his arm as he felt a strange buzzing inside his bones like an army of bees. Almost like he was feeling some sort of residual drunkness, "What are you doing to me?"


	13. Blood and Tears

Tami laid back and crossed her ankles. Jack was crawling over her legs begging her to keep playing, but she was plum wore out. She watched as the clouds rolled and patted the ground next to her, "Take a minute Jack. I don't have my youth anymore." The boy ruefully complied and sat where her hand had come down.

"I wanna play more tag, or hide 'n seek. I really liked that one." He complained lightly and pulled at the blades of grass.

"Take a minute Jack. Look into the sky. What do you see?" Tami asked. She felt the sun warm her skin, but felt as if she hadn't felt it properly on her skin in months. The strange feeling of pleasure after going outside from being inside for long periods of time never came. It was missed for sure.

"Clouds." Jack spoke in a flat tone.

"Really? And here I thought kids had a better imagination." She teased lightly. Jack raised his tiny eyebrows at her, "Look there, that one looks like a flower." She pointed to the puffy cloud. Its circular shape took on the silhouette of a daisy.

"Really? Where?" He asked and looked deep into the sky. A slight joy flickered over his eyes, "Look! That one looks like an apple." Tami held in a chuckle as he pointed to the one she had.

"Yes it does." Her smile widened at his excitement. Children were always too pure. Annoying sometimes, but pure and sweet in ways adults were not after hard years went by.

"That one looks like an egg... and that one is a... a... Oh I know, its momma." Jack scrambled to his feet and turned in circles looking at the clouds. Tami wished she could see through the eyes of a child once again. She took in a breath of the sweet summer air and relaxed while the boy ran around her pointing to the clouds, sometimes the same one twice, and let his imagination run wild.

"That one looks like a gun." His voice made Tami's face twist up into a scowl.

"Go away, Davey." She spoke lowly. He had returned the night before with Micah making a whole lotta drunken noise about their 'very' successful stagecoach robbery. She had glanced in the roster and only seen a pittance of five dollars from each men written down. Jack turned around and put his tiny fists on his hips.

"Yeah go away, Davey." He repeated Tami causing her to snort back a laugh.

"How about you fuck off kid." Davey nearly growled out.

"Well, my great morning just ended." Tami sat up and nodded to Jack for him to leave, "You're an overgrown asshole, you know that?" she glared at Davey. He waved a hand at her words and sat down.

"Yeah, tell me somethin' I don't know." Davey sat down and crossed his legs, "I wanted to thank you."

Tami narrowed her eyes a little at him. He had kept his distance for a while, thankfully so. His attitude was almost as bad as Micah's, but it seemed he was hated just a little less, "As much as I love being thanked, I like to know what for." She noted he kept his distance from her. Allowing her room to breath.

"For that kick in the ass before Blackwater. Saved me from making a rookie mistake. I almost did die that day. I ain't sayin' it changed me a whole hell of a lot, but I'm glad I got a second chance. Even if it was because you wanted to see me die." Davey pushed his brown locks out of his face. She could see the ghost of something haunting in his eyes.

"I guess that's good." She replied slowly. He lowered his gaze and shook his head.

"It's caused something weird in me. I don't feel anymore. I can't taste food or beer. A woman's touch doesn't do anything for me. It's like I'm in hell while I'm still alive." His voice was low. Almost too low for Tami to hear his words.

"Why are you tellin' me this?" She asked slowly. The dark blue spots under his eyes were becoming more noticeable as she made an effort to actually look at him. His skin was pulled tight against his face as if he hadn't eaten in weeks.

"I dono... You're the fortune teller." Davey leaned his head back to look at the sky, "Was a rumor flowin' around for a while you were an angel, but that died out long ago."

"I wonder who spread that one." Tami spoke dryly and shook her head. She pulled her knees to her chest and pulled off one of her black gloves, "Hand." She ordered and opened her palm face up in offering. He placed his hand into hers. Tami sat waiting for the cold to bite, but it never came. Nothingness poured through his body. His past fizzled like a flame going out. Too weak for her to reach into it any longer. Tami took another route and tried to pressed into his soul. She clawed for any emotions she could find. Fear and anger were weak inside of him, but nothing else came to her. She let out a soft puff of air and laid his hand on his knee.

Davey's eyebrows shot up in hope. Tami's face grew sad. A bitter smile pulled at her lips before she shook her head, "You aren't supposed to exist right now. I can't..." She turned her head away from the devastated look on his face, "I can't feel anything from you." The hard truth hit him.

"Thanks anyway." He stood up slowly and walked off. Shoulders slumped forward a little in defeat. Tami held her lips together and turned her head to the side. Pain grasped her heart and squeezed. Davey wasn't a nice guy. In fact, she hated him. There wasn't a person alive who deserved that. She found herself a little glad Jenny had died instead of enduring the same fate he was. If she was truthful to herself, he didn't have a purpose outside of dieing. The life he was living right now wasn't real.

"Davey!" Tami stood up. She silently cursed herself for jumping at the bite of her own emotions, "Do you want to go fishing or something?" She shrugged and he gave a sad smile.

"Wish I could, sweet cheeks, but Micah and I are scheduled to go with Dutch and Arthur for a meeting with Colm. I'm already late they left a few minutes ago. If I hurry I can make it in time."

Tami felt the corners of her lips drop, "No. Wait for just a minute."

"Hey, Tami. I wanted to show you..."

"Just a minute!" Tami ran past Tilly and pushed into her tent. She grabbed Arthur's old gun belt. Pulling the old torn leather onto her hips. A small rusted revolver lay in the holster, and a handful of bullets. Not an entire box worth, but enough to defend herself. Her hand wrapped around Arthur's prized gun. A nearly golden pump shotgun. She had only seen him use it a handful of times, but threw it on her back anyway. Better to ask forgiveness than permission at this point.

Davey was already on his horse by the time Tami returned to jump onto Balefire, "Uh, don't you need a saddle."

"No time, Arthur's in danger." She hooked her fingers into Baelfire's mane and kicked his flanks harder than she needed to. Davey looked around like she was crazy but followed suit.

"You're a nutcase, sweetheart. This is a peace meeting." Davey caught up to her.

"Ain't no peace gonna happen today, just lead me there. Fast." Tami growled out. Davey rolled his eyes but pulled himself lower on his horse and hit the trail harder. A sign of releif came on her lips as they approached the ridge that the others were at. Dutch was saying something and Arthur nodded holding a rifle in his hands.

Wind in Tami's ears blocked out all noise. Ass hurting something fierce as the muscular build of Balefire turned it into tenderized meat. The rocky outcrop caused enough bumps that made Tami's head spin. Balefire whined hard as she pulled on his mane. Davey let out a low yell as he had to pull his horse off to the side to not run into Tami.

Before Dutch could say a word Tami jumped from her horse. Her boots slipping on the gravel making her look like a running cartoon character, "Don't do this Dutch. We still got time right? We need to get gone. Those people... Arthur you're in danger."

"If I may interrupt your little speech, I don't quite trust your judgement right now. I know I am partially at fault for making you go to the Braithwaites before you were ready, but you haven't been as astute lately with your little act." Dutch rubbed his palms together and turned to her. Deep brown eyes waved over her scared form, "Did she see something in you, Davey?"

Davey looked at her and his jaw wavered a little, "Uh, no Dutch."

"Miss Marston, I think you should go back to camp and leave this to us." Dutch came over and placed his hands on her shoulders. His eyes portraying the storm inside of him.

"There ain't gonna be no peace today, Dutch. Arthur is gonna get hurt. I can't leave knowing he's in danger." Tami tried desperately to push her point across. Dutch crossed his arms and gave a dark chuckle.

"Seems your missus is worried about you, Arthur." He teased in a mean nature. Arthur sighed and rubbed the back of his head, "Don't worry he's a big boy he can take care of himself. Not go back to camp."

"As much as I agree with ya, Dutch, they are here. Don't think it's a good idea to let her lead 'em back to camp." Arthur huffed, "The 'missus, can stay up here with me. We don't need Colm knowin' we got ourselves a fortunr teller."

"Lotta good she's done for us." Dutch nearly snarled. Tami bit her bottom lip hard enough she tasted copper. Hatred for not finding gold was becoming palpable. While the charasmic Dutch was a great man, she could see feel the bandit underneigh growing restless.

"Dutch, I don't think..." Davey started and Dutch put a hand out.

"Right now I don't care what anyone thinks. I care about this meeting. What happens afterwards will be discussed in the private safely of camp. The hills have eyes and ears lady and gentlemen. Take care of that. Micah and Davey with me. Arthur keep your eyes on us... And Miss Tami. Try to stay out of the way." Tami licked her teeth in silent rage. Dutch and his two guards made their way down to the meeting.

"Come on Arthur. You know this is wrong. You know..."

"Just shut your trap for one second. Do you even understand the danger you've put yourself in here? The danger you've put us all in. We're lucky none of them saw the stunt you just pulled." Arthur hissed lowly.

"Arthur, please..."

"No, you do as you please with no thought of others. If you're gonna stay with us you need to keep us in mind." He raised his chin to look down on her.

"Arthur, That hurts I was..."

"Stop talkin' for once and just listen. It may do you some good." Arthur sighed, "I don't think..." Tami pulled her gloves off and grabbed his face hard. She wished she could show him everything. Push it into him, make him understand. Instead, she would have to show him. A hot pain entered her mind as Arthur let out a choked gasp.

_Arthur laid on top of the ridge watching Dutch talk to Colm. His finger touched the trigger like a simple feather. The world shifted as his consciousness left his body and seemed to fly in the air. He reached out as his very soul flew away, watching his own body react as if on autopilot._

_Arthur gasped and reached into his body trying to understand why he was seeing himself in another state. His eyes swept to Tami as she stood still besides him. He quirked an eyebrow at her strange appearance. Her hair was much shorter, a choppy bob just below her ears. Her body was scandly open to the world. Simple white shorts and a tank top that was cut to expose the curvature of her body and slight pooch of her tummy. Hands clasped together in front of her with bare feet barely touching the ground._

_"What in the hell?" Arthur gasped and tried to push the panic into himself. He reached for her and felt coldness enter his body as he simply flew through her._

_"This is what happens. If I didn't come." Tami's voice came out as a gentle tune. Her eyes didn't slip away from watching his laying form. Arthur watched the focus on her face, the slight wisp of her lips as she just stared, "This is how I see the future. The past is more like a movie covered in a white film. I've never been able to see your future before."_

_"How did you do this? What is a fucking movie?" Arthur's eyes raised to the group of men advancing to his laying form, "Hey... HEY!"_

_"Stop, they can't hear you." She didn't move an inch but a silver tear fell down her face, "You're going to get kidnapped and shot and tortured and beaten and... and..." Tami raised a hand only to lower it, "You didn't believe me."  
_

_Arthur watched in stiff horror as his own body was beaten. A gun came down hard on his face. The world met his body. Ragdolling down like his life was just gone._

_"We have to do somethin'." Arthur insisted. The men started to tie his body. Hot rage filled his every muscle._

_"You can try, but you won't be able to touch them, like you can't touch me." Tami winced as his rage boiled out into a yell. He took in deep sharp breaths before turning to her._

_"Where are you in all this?" He sneered lowly, "You with them?"_

_"I don't know. Look down there. Davey isn't there either. It's Charles. This is different, how it was supposed to be. I change a lot just by being here. I was hoping to change this too." Tami looked at him for the first time, "Hoping to save you from this pain. But the script is stubborn. Even when I warn you lot about anything, even with all the belief Dutch says he has in me... You always do what you were meant to do. Can't change fate, I suppose."_

_"Then why did you do this?"_

_"I didn't know I could. I just wanted you to see. I'm not evil. Just confused and scared. I don't belong here. It was just supposed to be a game. That's it." Tami reached out for him. She stopped and pulled back when he flinched._

_"You terrify me." _

_"I deserve that." She nodded and took a step back, "I shouldn't have tried to bring you here."_

_"But you did... I... I don't know what I believe right now. Just get me out of here."_

_Tami closed her eyes and took in a deep breath._

Arthur gasped and opened his eyes to look into hers. Beads of sweat rolled down his face mirroring her own sweat clad face. Hands shook as she pulled back. Her eyes grew wide at the men advancing towards his back, "Arthur, watch out!"

"Get down!" Arthur hissed and pushed her. Tami let out a scream as the ground slipped from beneath her feet. Her back radiated with pain as the first strike caused her spine to nearly bend in half the wrong way. The ground met her body multiple times as she rolled. Her hands gathering wounds as she grasped for anything to grab onto. Nails cracked and peeled off as she clawed at the rocks. Her momentum slowed so that when she met the edge of another drop she was able to hold on and keep from falling down to where Dutch was still having a heated argument. A face looked at her from the edge of the top. It was much closer than she would have guessed from her fall.

"Nice try lover boy." A black haired man snarled. His face was twisted from the scars running across his lips, "Now, sweetheart, you get back up here nice and slow. Don't scream or we kill your man."

"I can't, I think..." Tami reached up and cried out at the twinge in her left leg. The ankle was bent at a sickening angle, "I think it's broken."

"Carl, get down there and throw her up here, nice and slow. We don't want to alert them down there."

A red haired man slowly lowered himself, "Come on, darlin'. Put your arm around my neck here and push."

"For an O'Driscoll you're surprisingly gentle." Tami sneered. Her right leg found footing and she pushed. With his help she was able to grab the lip of the ledge that she had fallen from.

"Get her up here lover boy, and don't try that again. Or we shoot her and break both your arms." The black haired man pointed his silver revolver in Arthur's face. The blond man reached down and grabbed Tami's hands to pull her up. A soft cry escaped her as the jumbled movement brought her ankle to catch the ledge and pull the severed bones.

"You'll be okay." Arthur whispered into her ear. HIs hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her hard.

"I've never broken a bone here before." She hissed back. Pain radiated from her left leg and wrapped around her body forcing it into an almost paralyzed state. Something hard came across her skull. The explosion of pain turned to stars and then darkness.

* * *

**Forced Sexual Situations/ Rape Below.**

Tami woke to a pain in her leg and jarring sensation. Back scraping against something rough and hard, "Princess is waking up." One man laughed from behind her. Sight came slowly, but the world moved at the same rhythm. Sensation of being filled over and over started to hit her. The smell of rotten food waved on the haggard breath of the man on top of her. Tami started breathing in panic.

"Get offa me..." She tried to scream but the pain in her head forced her to slur. He laughed and simply pumped into her body harder forcing a low breathy grunt from her body.

Arms stung as she tried to pull them. Ropes burned into her wrists, "Take it all in, Princess. You ain't ever gonna feel somethin' like this in your life ever again." His fingers interlocked into her hair, "Look into my eyes. Look at me!" He jammed himself into her so hard she screamed as the pain radiated through her. Legs started to kick, pain exploded from her left leg causing her to cry louder.

Blue eyes bore into hers. Black hair trimmed and swept back to expose every inch of his horrible face and yellow teeth, "Please..." She begged, "Please just stop. I won't tell anyone." His fingers clasped her throat and squeezed. The feeling of her throat being crushed under his palm was terrifying. The reality of her situation hitting his full peak as he grunted and pushed down until she could do nothing but gap like a fish with no water. Lungs palpitation in desperate need for oxygen. She felt him pulse as his seed poured inside her. Sickening her while the blackness from lack of oxygen took the edges of her vision by force.

"Don't worry girl, you won't be able to tell anyone anything after I'm done with you." Tami thrashed against her bonds. Screams stuck in her chest. Pain racking every square inch of her body.

"Stop! Don't kill her!"

"Lover boy woke up. Sorry, but instructions were clear. We only need you. Anyone else is expendable."

"Not to Dutch, look she's worth more to Dutch than I am." Even through her haze Tami begged internally for him not to tell them as her body racked for breath, "She... She can tell the future."

"The fortune teller? Didn't think Dutch would be so stupid to send her out on a mission, let her go."

Tami coughed as her lungs brought in its needed air. Stinging as the sudden shift of oxygen into her lungs. The man slid out of her. His hands fumbled with his belt as she shot her a smirk. Her body twisted against the restraints. Crys broken as if she had been screaming for days.

"As long as we're keeping her alive, I want to go again." A chorus of approval flowed through the air.

"Don't touch her, Don't you fuckin' touch her!" Arthur's voice was so filled with anger and power it broke behind her. She bowed her back and tried to see where he was in the trees.

"Oh, I will. Lover boy. I have before, I will again."

"I'll kill you. I'll slit your fuckin' throat." He growled out. Tami would have felt warmed by the sentiment if the situation had been different.

"Someone shut up our guest." The man she recognized as Carl was kneeling between her legs. He was less than gentle as he lined the tip of his cock against her entrence. Pushing in with a fell swoop and jamming himself so deep her feet kicked in an attempt to crawl away. Left foot bending sickeningly and crackled in its injured state. Her scream cracked and echoed around them.

"We won't kill her, but we didn't say nuthin' about hurtin' her. You get to watch." The voices behind her cackled as Tami resigned herself to crying into the dirt. Counting seconds as she wished she were anywhere but there. Something touched at her mind briefly. It was hot and smelled vaguely of tobacco and gunpowder powdered with copper. The man on top of her pawed at her shirt until he could grab her bare breasts. Dirty nails dug into the soft mounds until they started to bleed. The pain mixed into a final wave that drowned her. Allowing her to sink into a blackness of cold rocky waters. Feeling left her body allowing her to float above it all. Tami gazed up at the sky watching the clouds move.

_That one looks like a flower._

**Forced Sexual Situations/ Rape Above. Safe below.**

* * *

The darkness met her eyes first. Panic ensued as a damp smell came over her nose. It was hard to know if she was in her nightmare or not. Her body couldn't move, but it was clear by the draft that she was naked.

Someone moved around near her. Rattling of chains adding a new sound to her ears. Creaking of old wood and thudding of boots came long before the soft orange glow of a candle.

"It's good to see ya." His voice made her sick before she could even realize what was happening. Blue eyes barely able to stay open against the wave after wave of soreness in her body. White and red mixed in a cracked coat against her bare legs. The wooden chair under her was absolutely coated in the stuff.

"Hello, Colm." Arthur's voice was tired. As tired as she felt.

"How's the wound." Tami was barely able to lift her head to gaze at Colm through bleary eyes. God, he was more despicable in person. The way his face wrinkled like old cracked leather. Hair hand from his hat in thin greasy streaks. She found a new appreciation for Dutch in the way he took care of himself.

"I hardly feel it." Arthur winced as Colm moved to spoon feed him something.

"You will." He grinned as Arthur weekly tried to grab his arm and force it away from him, "Septic, ain't it nice." His grin glimmered in the candlelight like gold bars, "Now tell me, fine gun like you, why you still runnin' around with old Dutch? Could come ride with me and make some real money." Colm smirked and pushed Arthur so that he started to turn.

"It ain't about money, Colm." Arthur's voice took a stronger feel. His eye gazed around the room to land on her open eyes. Anger edged onto his face as his eye swept over her broken body.

"Oh no..." Colm moved a chair to face Arthur, "It's Dutch's famous charisma." His boot made contact with Arthur side hard enough to make Tami jump. Her chair groaned and squeak under her sudden movement.

"Oh, the mouse has woken." Colm turned his attention to Tami. A frown appeared on his lips. Shoulders shrugging off his jacket.

"Don't touch her." Arthur sneered from where he was hanging.

"You ain't in a position to order me around. Here little mouse. At least cover that mess." Colm frowned as he laid his jacket over her exposed body.

"I would say thanks, but I'm not sure if that was an insult." Her neck bowed to the right as her muscles weakened for a moment causing her head to bob.

"Now my boys tell me, you are the fortune teller. Sorry we haven't been able to draw you a bath and get you proper." Colm brushed a lock of her hair away from her dirty face.

"Somehow I doubt that." Tami sneered. Her head turned as she tried to pull away from him.

She whined as his fingers gripped her chin and snapped her face to look directly into his cold eyes, "Dutch may have told you many stories, girl, but there are things I do not stand for. A dirty woman is one of them."

"But a beaten and raped one ain't." Arthur spoke in a barely calm voice. She sighed in releif as Colm dropped her head to turn back to Arthur.

"You killed a bunch of my boys, At six point cabin."

"I ain't got no clue what you're talkin' about." Arthur replied in a stronger voice. His attempt to bait Colm's attention back didn't go unnoticed.

"Oh, you lie my friend, and I thought Dutch preached the truth." Colm pulled out a gun and pointed it at Arthur. Tami panicked while her rational mind left out of reach.

"Let us go Colm, end this crap between you too..." Colm stood up straight and shook his head hard biting his bottom lip, "We all got real problems now."

"No, I won't. I've got Dutch's trump card. Your boy Davey ain't much for holding his alcohol, and my boys were more than pleased to listen. Saved his life didn't you, little lady." Colm smiled at her while smiling at Arthur.

"I ain't tellin you shit. I don't care what you do to me." Tami spit out. He just chuckled.

"She's a strong one isn't she?"

"Let us go." Arthur ordered again in a low voice.

"How about I just keep the woman, and kill you. The boys say she's pretty... when she's clean." Colm pulled the hammer back on his gun, "Dutch won't know you're dead until he will have already sprung the trap."

"Stop!" Her scream was piercing. Enough to made both men wince under its sharp strength, "Just stop it." She felt like those women in viral videos. Just screaming, but not doing a single thing to intervene. She used to think they were annoying, but now as adrenaline raced through her veins and the possibility of watching Arthur die she understood what was meant, "You want me to join your gang, consider it done. I'll work for you okay?"

Colm turned his head in question as Arthur shook his aching head. Tami took in a deep breath, "Listen to me, He dies and I won't do shit for you. Besides you and I both know the Pinkertons would be pissed if you killed him." Colm's eyes narrowed, "Don't ask how I know your whole plan. You get the Van Der Lindes captured and you can slip away. Except it's not gonna work. Do you know how long the Pinkertons wait to wipe out both gangs? So many fucking years will go by, and by the end of it everyone will be dead."

"Sweetheart, I suggest you stop talkin' before I decide I would rather let my boys finish you off." Colm sneered.

"I don't think any of them know how to properly finish a woman off." Tami blinked the watery film away from her eyes once again. Cold making her chest feel a little heavy.

Colm let out a low dangerous chuckle, "She's funny, ain't she funny Arthur?" Colm twisted his arm and brought it down over Arthur's face hard. Tami tried hard not to jump and look away, "The question on my mind now is burning, fortune teller. You see Dutch won't know if we slip little 'ol Arthur away, but the Pinkertons will wonder where he's at. However..." Colm put a finger into the air and held onto his last word. Footsteps hitting the ground hard. His body fully pointed back at her while Arthur's fingers drug the ground lifeless, "I could have you at my side, but I doubt you will answer every question I have honestly."

"What's your question?" Tami interrupted hotly, "I'm not one for super villain monologues."

"Now I see you have a soft spot for old Arthur here." Colm thumbed his shirt. A sickening smile came over his lips while he turned back over to Arthur. He looked at his finger before jamming it into an open wound. Even in his passed out state Arthur hollered out against the pain, "I bet 'ol lover boy here would appreciate it if you played nice." Colm pulled his finger away and wiped it making sure to lock eyes with Tami. Her chest heaved as adrenaline flowed through her body.

"Just take me. Leave him alone... Just me. " She leaned forward trying to connect with the man in front of her.

Colm's lips turned into a cruel smile, "Now, what's the fun in that?" He shook his head, "Your weakness is my strength. Besides it would be cruel to separate you two love birds."

"I'm not in love with him." She hissed lowly.

"I'm not an idiot. I seen the look you give him a mile away." Colm laughed hotly, "You're gonna use that little gift for me now, understand?"

Tami leaned her head back, "Know this, it's not exact. I can't control it all the time. Traumatic pasts or horrific futures lock it to the point that I can't always dig for information you may want. You're gonna be torturing him for things I can't control."

Colm's face dropped just a little, "Don't sound like fun. For you or him."

"It's not." Tami's mouth curled upwards just a little, "They've made it a little berable, their gang I mean." Bitterness laced every word she spoke.

Colm shook his head, "You sound like your a hundred miles away from here. Are you from the north?"

"Not from the north, but where I'm from takes a little while to get there." She pulled against the ropes as her wrists grew numb.

"You are a strange one, I don't rightly care where your from or who you are. Long as you do what I want I couldn't give two shits." Colm placed his hand threateningly onto Arthur's limp form.

"Who'd have thought the O'Driscoll was the most understanding of all." She snorted hard.

"You catch more flies with honey." Colm sneered slightly.

"You have me tied to a fucking chair." Tami pulled on her bonds to stress that fact.

"Can't be too careful, sides you should have seen it." He smirked.

"I can't see my own future." Tami rolled her eyes, "It's like a stipulation."

"A what?"

"A stipulation like a... Ugh... Nevermind." Tami rolled her neck and tried to look around the room for anything she could find, "I can tell you how you die, If you'd like. Just untie my hands."

Colm's lips twisted into a grimace as his hand moved downward to one of the open wounds on Arthur's chest. He dug a nail into it making Arthur yell out again.

"I overstepped my boundary, got it. Would you fucking stop!" Tami pulled against the chair and found her ties arms were tied against something behind her.

"Goddamn, Colm. Just kill her already!" A voice flowed from the top down to them. Colm's hand retreated. His face twisted into anger. With a switch of emotion he gave a mock bow towards Tami, flashing his yellow teeth in a toothy smile.

"Now excuse me for a little bit. I got somethin' to take care of. You two don't go nowhere while I'm gone." His laughed turned sour. Before the door even shut the sound of someone being beaten flowed down to them. Wood creaked and slammed closed to cut off the sound.

"Get me out, I know you hear me up there. Get me the fuck out!" Tami pulled against her ropes. Hope smashed under the weight of hard pain along her body, "Goddamn, just fucking kill me for god's sake. I don't want this anymore." She closed her eyes and tried not to look at her body. The struggle had dislodged Colm's jacket. Scratches and bites lined her body unhealing as was her broken ankle, laying sickeningly bent under the rops at her legs, "Not gonna talk to me anymore, huh?" A laugh escaped her lips. Horrifying and crazed as it met her own ears.

"You need to calm yourself. Can... ah... can you see anything?" His eye was open again. The white of his eye slightly clouded with blood.

"You can escape on your own, you know. I've seen it." Tami leaned back in har chair trying not to noticed the way he looked over her form.

"Behind you, looks like an old blade or somethin' hanging." Arthur suggested. Tami rolled her eyes but pushed her fingers out in an attempt to search for anything. The metal was cool to the touch when she gripped it. Edge was dulled, but sharp enough her fingers relayed a warning. She tried to take her mind away from the danger blade at her back and looked around the room. Eyes skimmed over the chains around Arthur's legs and where they came from the roof. It was different than the meat hook he had hung from in the real game. The chain lead over to a lever in the wall.

"How very convenient." She huffed. Fingers moved the blade closer to her wrists. With a heave she brought the rope blindly down. A whine escaped her lips as the blade bit into more than the rope. Pain raced to her fingertips. Something started dripping behind her, and by the pain she guessed it was blood, "Fuck." Her voice wavered.

"Try again." Arthur encouraged lightly. He started to wiggle his own hands in an attempt to free himself.

"You're not the one slicing their own wrists." She snarled, but lifted her arms again to bring them down. The pain was nearly blinding. Again and again she pulled her arms up and down. Rope cracking and snapping under the blade, but skin ripping under it as well. Her breath huffed out of her nose while she worked away. The blade caught into her wrist when she pulled up. It was a hot pain that made her lean forward and try to dislodge it in a panic. The blade shifted and sliced her forearm just a little. A yelp escaped her.

"I can't... Arthur I can't. It hurts." Tami cried out as she sharp metal slipped and sliced against her wrists yet again. She pulled against the rope to see if it had loosened a little, but winced as her skin opened up and bled down her back.

"Yes you can. You have to." His one exposed eye looked up at her from the cloth. Heavy blood dripped from his crimson stained hair and onto the ground. His body swayed side to side slowly.

"I don't think you understand the amount of times this metal has fucking cut me." Tami whined as the metal sliced against her skin once again.

"Listen to me, I need you. Okay? I need your help or we can't get out of here. I know it hurts. I hurt too. You can do it. Trust me." Arthur begged softly. Her blue eyes met his. Filled to the brim with tears.

"You can encourage me, but don't lie. I know you don't need me." She grunted as she rose her hands to bring the rope down across the metal again. A soft cry of happiness left her lips as the rope let go.

"Good girl." Arthur encouraged. He swallowed hard as he watched the sliced appearance of her wrists as blood dripped heavenly down her fingers. The small appendages shook as she started on the ropes around her legs.

"Arthur?" She stammered.

"Yeah?" He asked while the rope slipped down her ankles. She winced and shook while pulling at her left foot. When she was at least somewhat pleased that it was at a proper angle she used he rope to tie it as tightly as she could into place. Her body threatened to spill out onto the ground as she stumbled to the wall. Her leg screaming in pain, "Easy there, one step at a time."

"Shut up." The lever clicked as she pulled it. The ground met Arthur hard and fast. He groaned as stars came across his vision. Tami ran to him and cradled his head cursing herself as she surveyed his wounds, "You okay?" She asked as he tried to pull himself back into his own mind, "Talk to me." She begged.

"I thought you told me to shut up." He stammered through labored breathing. A rueful smile met her lips. He was just as battered as he was. The red long johns on his body spotted with the deep crimson of his own blood seeping under them, "Need to stop the bleedin'." He looked at her wrists.

"You know I'll be fine. Get yourself patched up." Tami looked around for anything to help cover her body. Colm's long jacket lay to the side of her chair. She tried not to look at the red and white mixture that had solidified onto the seat. The world shifted a little as a buzzing entered her head. Need for sleep started coming in ruptured waves. His jacket was cold to the touch, but slid onto her easily. It swallowed her enough that it came to just below her hips. The buttons were old, but kept it closed.

Arthur let out a low groan making her look up. He had the candle up against his skin. She winced as he threw it away. Tami tried not to notice that her wrists weren't stopping the flow of blood. Arthur laid back in his chair trying to catch his breath. Her hands touched his shoulder before she could stop herself. Their eyes met body's trembling under the pressure of their wounds. HEr hand traced his jawline.

"I didn't ever want to see you like this." A few tears spilled down her face washing away the dirt and blood in its wake. Arthur's hand brushed a few strands of her hair back. Tenderness touched his eyes before a hardness swept over his entire face.

"Come on. We still have to get out..."

"I don't wanna go to Mexico!" An O'Driscoll shouted out as the wooden doors opened. Arthur slipped his fingers around the file on the table and slid to a darker corner of the room. Tami hunched behind a few boxes, "What the hell?" Tami could watch in a slight awe as Arthur pounced like a wild cat. His body moving so fluidly it looked almost like a dance. Hand jammed into the O'Driscoll's throat. The garbled sound of his voice escaped long enough to let them know he was done for. A thump came when his body hit the ground.

"Come're." Arthur waved to where Tami was crouched.

"I'm scared, Arthur. What if we don't make it?" She hissed lowly.

"Well we won't if you don't get your damn ass over here." Arthur pulled a few knives out of the O'Driscoll's belt. He flipped one of the blades to offer the handle out, "Take it and stay close."

"Like I've got somewhere to be?" She snatched the blade out of his hands. It shook while she tried not to notice how much her leg hurt.

"Smart ass." He snorted. He was able to crouch and walk with ease while Tami stumbled after him. The pain was almost too much at this point. He worked fast. Throwing the knives with such accuracy it was inhuman. Two bodies dropped before she was even able to see proper moonlight. Steps proved a horrible feat to accomplish. Her hands and knees pawing at the cold ground as she climbed to freedom. Tami followed as he retrieved the knives. Her hope fell when she didn't recognize any of the two men. A little malice started within her. The need for revenge boiled.

"There are three more, If I remember right." Tami hissed lowly. Her body lagged behind his form. Arthur shot her a look, but held a breath as one of the guards came to look.

Tami saw red, "It's you!" She screeched and jumped out of her spot to pin him. Carl's face turned to shock one last time. Her blade snapped into one of his hazel eyes blinding him forever. Whatever cry he was going to make slipped into a groan and then silence as the blade slipped into his brain. She pulled back and stabbed him again. The blade made a thunk noise as she hit bone. Her arms bunched as she pulled back again and threw her entire weight into the next stab. His nose crumbled and split open down to his mouth while the blade cut away the flesh, "Dirty... no... god son... of... a BITCH!" thump, thump, thump...

"Goddamnet." Arthur growled. He stood from his hidden position. Moment of surprise long gone. His focus laid on the two men approaching from the small shack to their right. His blades made contact fast enough that the only noise to be heard was the steady panting and cutting behind him. He gathered his guns and turned to see her still going to town. By now whoevers face it was looked like a bloody mess of meat with white bones sticking out here and there. The blade was thrown to the side. Her fingers gouged into his throat pulling in whatever rage she was trapped in.

"Okay... OKAY! Enough!" His arms wrapped around her shoulders and pulled. The blood was still warm. It slid down his hands as he locked his fingers to keep her from breaking away. Her screams had turned into cries of pain.

"I wanted him to suffer." She shook under his arms, "God, I wanted him to feel all of it."

"I know, darlin. I know." Arthur pulled a hand through her matted hair in a way to comfort her, "We don't have time for this now. We got to get."

"Down by the water... If we go down by the water, We... We..." Tami let out a labored breath, "I'm tired."

"Down by the water. I got it. Come on." Arthur stood and tried to help her stand.

"I can't... just gonna." Her head pulled back. Eyes fluttering against the cold. The world shifted under her body like she were weightless. Everything moved like a dream. Images coming in and out of focus. She was in his arms, then on his horse, she could see him bow his head, feel him lay against her, and then the lights started to come in. Past the trees and through the brush. Closer and closer every time her eyes opened. His body shifted making her eyes open. He was sitting over her again, eyes unfocused as she assumed hers was. She could barely see the came through her fog, and felt him slip off of the horse in fatigue. His hand that had been looped into her jacket pulled her down.

Tami's head landed onto his chest. Her voice barely let out the scream she had wanted to give from the pain.

"Arthur?" Mary Beth ran over.

"Tami?" Karen came into vision looking over them. The womans hands shook unsure of what to do.

"Arthur!" Tami could barely register Dutch's voice at this point. Arthur's arm curled around her back and pulled her closer weakly.

"Told you it was a set up Dutch." Arthur wheezed out.

"My boy... My dear boy, what?" Dutch went to kneel.

"They got us, but we got away." Arthur let out a hard cough.

"Yeah, that you did. Mrs. Grimshaw! Swanson! I need your help!" Panic was thinly masked in Dutch's voice.

"He was gonna set the law on us. Gonna take her and torture her... use her!" Tami felt his hand grip her naked hip harshly. She would have winced had she not been so weak.

"Of course he was, I'm sorry Arthur." Dutch sounded pissed.

"I'm sorry Arthur." Peterson was panicked. His body hunched.

"It is a bit late for apologies." Dutch huffed. She felt someone grabbing her and pulling her away. Fear made her react.

"No... No! Don't touch me! NO!" Her voice was as broken as Arthur's. Body lashing out, "Arthur!" She screamed.

"It's okay, we're okay..." He sighed and laid his head down, but his hand was still firmly grabbing onto her.

"We need to get them to bed." Susan insisted. Whoever was pulling at her pulled harder. Arthur's nails dug into her skin.

"Her wrists... I..." Arthur's head fell back onto the ground.

"We've got both of you now, it's okay."

"Tami, look at me." Her eyes shifted to see it was John grabbing onto her, "You're safe now."

"No I'm not." A tear rolled down the side of her face, "I'm never safe."


	14. All You Need Is Faith

Arthur and Tami stared into eachothers eyes breathing hard. Sweat poured down their faces. Cold chill radiating from their bones. The hot summer wind blowing in their hair. Just to their right was the ridge and just below it was Davey, Micah, and Dutch riding out to meet Colm. Arthur's face twisted. Hand flashing down to his knife at a surprising speed. The man behind him only let out a surprised gasp as the blade slit between his ribs effortlessly. Arthur's hand twisted and pulled. The rushing sounds of pouring liquid came over them. A second man ran a hand down for his gun.

Tami felt something touch her mind briefly. Her muscles coiled in response. A breath came into her lungs and left easily. Fear and confusion silenced as a deep knowledge trickled forward from within. Her fingers wrapped around the old dull knife in her belt. No guns, it would only serve to make those below even more jumpy. Arthur's hand came across the second mans throat almost effortlessly. As if it were paper and not human flesh. Tami narrowed her eyes to the two men running from the brush holding their guns into the air. Their eyes trained on the clear threat to their lives.

She slipped a few steps back to grow her distance, "Turn around nice an slow." Arthur stopped and held his hands into the air, "Drop that knife... now!" Tami summed the men up. One had coiled brown hair and the other had fiery red hair. They both looked the same height and weight. She couldn't tell who was stronger from the angle she was at. Arthur turned to look at the men not looking towards her at all.

"Gonna kill me?" He asked sharply. Tami took a few steps forward while he spoke. Using his words to filter out the noise of her boots. Body curled into a crouch.

"We're just gonna hurt you. Can't kill you, not yet." Tami used all of the strength in her legs to jump onto the brown haired man's back. One hand coiled around his mouth while the other brought the blade to his throat. She pulled her arm as strongly as the could. The knife bit and tore, but her cut was much less graceful than Arthur's had been.

Arthur took the moment of confusion to roll for his knife and chuck it directly between the red haired mans eyes. Tami felt the gravel bite into her arm and side. The man under her grabbing for his throat. Voice turned into a garbled mess. The flap of skin she had opened wavered open and close while blood escaped at a dizzying pace. The liquid felt like hot thick water as it bubbled over her hand. It took a moment to separate herself from the man. He reached for her dragging blood in the black locks of her hair. His fingers coiled around them pulling her in close. She started to stab at him blindly to make him let go. He wheezed moving his hands in an attempt to defend himself.

She watched him in shock. Even as Arthur washed her hands with water she just watched. It was different to see someone die in real life. His eyes searched around in fear. Hands clutching at anything to help.

"What the hell was that?" Arthur ran his hands over his body walking back and forth. His fingers only grazed skin. No bullet holes to be found. Not even a single scratch.

Tami's hands shook while she too ran her hands over her body. Her hand pulled away to pull up the pant over her left leg. The skin was flawless and ankle bent properly without pain, "Arthur?" She asked softly, "Are we awake? What just happened?" Her body shook as tears started to form. She reached out to him.

"I could ask you the same thing." He sounded confused still. Head shaking as he tried to figure out what was up and down. Blood started to trickle out of his nose. He wiped it passively turning to see her reaching for him. His long stride broke the gap easily. His boot kicked the shotgun on the ground away before pulling her close to an embrace. Hands pulling at her back and head to grab her in an almost possessive manner, "I believe you. Alright?"

"Arthur, I..." Her hands gripped the back of his vest and shook heavily, "I could feel them on me... _in_ me."

"I saw it. Shit!" His yell made her jump slightly, "We need to get. There's probably more of 'em lurkin' 'round." He pulled away to see her nose trickling blood as his was. His hand reached up to wipe it away only for a new stream to take the place of the one he wiped away before. Eyes searched one another. If someone were to walk into what was happening they would be severely confused.

"Arthur?" Tami gently pushed his chest back, "We need to go." Her eyes slid down to where Dutch and Colm were still talking seemingly undisturbed. Her hand moved to cup his face, "You look better without a bullet to the face." She knelt and took Arthur's gun from the ground. The thing felt heavier than before.

"Modesty suits you." He quipped lightly. His jaw set harshly as the reality of what he had just said sunk in. Her lips pulled to make a harsh line. Their boots matched in stride on the gravel. Balefire and Arthur's horse nibbled at the grass as if nothing had happened at all.

"Well, fuck you then. You might need a bullet to the head, asshole." Tami hugged her shoulders tightly and turned to look back at the dead bodies. The reality of killing not one but two people sinking in. Even if the first one hadn't truly happened it stuck in her mind like glue. The feeling of human flesh and bone breaking under her own hands. She shook the image out of her mind. Kicking her leg over her horse with ease.

Arthur groaned grabbing the reigns of his horse. His leg jumped over easily setting back into the saddle, "We need to go."

* * *

Rhodes was very active during the noon hours of the day. More active than Tami had ever seen it before. People talking amongst themselves. Only stopping to give her the strange looks she had grown accustomed to because of the way she dressed. Carriages and wagons pulled in and out of businesses while their drivers talked in the middle of the road like idiots. Holding up traffic and forcing horseback riders to pull into the walking paths. A butcher yelled out the special for the day. Possibly a meat that was growing rotten. Young children scrambled to catch the bugs that jumped from flower to flower. One singular boy stood on the corner of a street holding a paper into the air yelling about the days news.

It was almost too much. Going from the darkness of their minds, covered in pain and blood to here. They would still be here living their lives just fine. World still turning in circles. Unknowing or uncaring to the suffering that would have gone on just miles away from them. Tami looked down to her hands. Someone somewhere is just as afraid and hurt as they were. Maybe lucky enough to get away, but most likely suffering some form of torture. It made her sick to think that they would just be smiling and laughing away while she would be forced to lay on the ground enduring such pain. Her fingers idly pulled across her throat. A woman would still be talking and laughing with her husband while Tami would lay with hands around her throat, crushing the life out of her. And no one would have even stopped to care. Life would go on without her. She pulled the reins on her horse hard, pulling off into the grass just outside of Rhodes. Arthur turned his head to her and paused his riding as well.

"We're here because?" She didn't meet his eyes. Anguish rose in her soul. Everything was just too real. The people talking and walking about. Conducting business as if nothing outside was bothering them. Tami tried to see the edges of the screen she knew was in front of her face, but it never appeared. Green grass and blue sky still hung in her peripheral vision. A fingernail drug against the back of her hand. Not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to cause her pain. The tipped edge was sharp and real though she knew in the deepest parts of herself it wasn't.

"I really need a drink after that, maybe a bath too." Arthur eyed her hands. He reached to push his hair back under his hat, secretly running a thumb over where his scalp should have been split open. Hand only dropping to rub his shoulder just to make sure it was whole as well. There was no blood or wound, only the firm brown leather vest he wore on top of a wrinkled but otherwise pristine white shirt.

"I didn't know you knew what soap was." Her lips quirked up words just a little. He let out a snort and pulled his head back.

"Bein' 'round all the shit you kick up, I have to." He picked up his reigns and guided his horse into town. Past the stalls and deeper into the busy town.

"Patting your face once a week with a wet rag isn't a bath, Arthur." She quipped kicking Balefire to follow close behind. "The tent always smells like rotten feet and sweaty ballsack."

"Do you have any shame? At all?" He turned for a second to give her a look of pure revolt. Her lips twisted into a mirthy smirk.

"Not really." Tami shrugged pulling on a strand of loose black hair, "Are we really going back to the bar that you caused a massive riot in?"

"Most of 'em were already too drunk to remember me. An you were a lady." His fingers moved to tip his hat back just a little to see the saloon come into view.

"I believe you used the word presentable." She shot a toothy grin to his back and watched his shoulders roll in his silent laugh, "But seriously, does this place of low morality even have baths?"

"No. They do have food." Arthur looked to where she clenched at her grumbling belly.

"Yeah, I could go for something to eat." She met his eyes with a half smile. Inside of her a hot storm of emotions still raged.

Tami was halfway through her first bottle when the food arrived. She was surprised at the quality of such a place. Two men were arm wrestling at the bar and another four were playing cards to the side. A few windows were boarded up and there was holes in the wood, but nothing much else to suggest of what happened before. Arthur sat opposite of her nursing his second bottle. Cigarette sitting between his fingers as he drank. Quiet music flowed from the man sitting on the piano. A few women cluttered the stairs dressed in bright colors with painted faces. Their beauty wasn't hidden under the heavy makeup, simply brought out. Tami eyed them and took in the strange concept that were considered beautiful for this time. The heavy blush coupled with the shimmery eyeshadow.

The plate of pork was set at her side. The man who brought it out said little more than 'enjoy', but years of habit had Tami holding a few dollars out to him. He looked shocked at the appearance of the money while Arthur simply raised his eyebrows at the gesture. Tami looked between them and felt a bit self conscious, "Oh, can you not accept tips here?" She asked lowly. The man took it gingerly and shrugged.

"She's from the north. Got funny ways." Arthur spoke smoothly. He popped the cherry out of his cigarette into the ashtray before setting it on the table.

"Thank you Miss." His confusion turned into a smile, "If you need anthin' else, just call."

"Tipping isn't really that foreign is it?" Tami asked softly. She grabbed the napkin from the table and set it in her lap. Arthur moved to grab his own fork and knife.

"Not really." He sniffed before descending into his meal, "Just strange seein' a woman do it 'round here." Tami felt a wave of shame overcome her. Helplessness drove into her heart like an ice cold sword. Had hands pushed the plate away from her. The need to eat leaving her fully. Her hands trembled as eyes scoured the room. Her muscles tensed under the eyes she found on her. Even the simple glances made her hair stand on edge, "You okay?" Arthur asked in a low tone.

"I wanna go home." She whispered lowly. Brave face disolving into the shame and fear she felt inside of her.

"I already knew that." He replied setting his fork back into his meal.

"I mean camp. Somewhere I at least feel somewhat safe." She wanted to curl into herself. The smoky dark atmosphere of the saloon didn't help to stop her nerves.

"Can it wait?" Arthur asked with a slight sigh.

"There are a lot of men here, Arthur. And as much as I would love to say I feel safe with you... I just don't. Not right now." Her fingers brushed her hair behind her ears.

"You wanna talk 'bout it?" He offered more out of duty than anything. She lifted her chin to take his face in. A flash of his face twisted in pain came over her. Blood dripping down his fingers as he hung. The pain in her naked body as she was tied to a chair. The helpless feeling of being tied to the ground. Pain of being... She closed her eyes and looked away.

"No." She kept looking over her shoulder. Making sure there wasn't anyone behind her, "I want to leave."

* * *

"I'm just sayin' I've never seen him spend so much time with anyone." Mary Beth looked dreamy in the way she spoke. Beautiful almond shaped olive colored eyes perched on her puffy yet cute pink cheeks. Heart shaped lips were poised in a soft sigh.

"And I'm just sayin' we are being forced with one another on Dutch's orders. 'sides he's mostly a prick with dry humor nothin' else to it." Tami worked on pushing the clothes through the soapy water and up the washboard. It was difficult and made her miss modern elements.

"You look at him in a way that says much more than that." Tilly eyed Tami slightly. Mary Beth continued to fold the clothing pulled from the line. She sat across from the other two women with a slight smirk on her lips.

"A man said it's plain to see." Tami pulled the soapy clothing and shoved it into the rinsing bin in front of Tilly. The dark skinned woman started to squeeze the soap out of the shirt in her hands before repeating the process of soaking it and pulling it against a washing board. Her rich brown eyes admired Tami for a minute. Full lips tugged slightly into a quiet smile.

"Nevermind that. What do you feel?" Mary Beth pressed with glowing eyes.

Arthur and her had suffered the same fate. An evil knowledge that was kept between them. Suffering coupled with the inability to tell anyone else. Tami had grown more into herself. It wasn't until Tilly offered to keep her company that she had left the tent in days. John was off doing more and more jobs while Arthur kept away for days at a time now. She had grown used to sitting alone in her tent for days. It was suffocating to be alone with her thoughts. Thoughts ran through her head over and over. Wishing she did something more to free herself. If only she had fought harder. Guilt and shame seemed to take pride in crushing her. She wanted to reach out for help. Talk to someone and ask for comfort, but who would comfort her when it came to that? Who could she truly trust with something deeper than a paper cut. Not Mateo, not anymore.

Mateo had found himself an in with the gang in his own way. Much to Tami's dismay he started to hang around Micah and Davey more and more. She could see a glint in his eyes. An enjoyment of the lawless land and lack of consequences he seemed to enjoy. Providing an endless world full of possibilities seemed to only push him into a darker path that she hadn't even thought of taking. The few times she tried to talk about how the ghosts of the men she murdered haunted her he just pressed it off. Talking about how freeing it was to slay the bad guys. To rob from the rich and give to the poor like some fucked up Robin Hood complex.

John did do his best to check on her every time he could. The few times he was left at camp with a few moments he would try to balance time with her, Abigail, and Jack. Tami took the kindness to heart, but also knew Abigail was growing weary of sharing the already sparse time she had with her own husband. And Jack needed his father. It hurt to tell him to leave her in peace, but it was the best for all involved.

Arthur was a separate story all together. He kept away more out of want than need. She could feel why. It wasn't like Tami was actively seeking him out either. The flashes of her nightmare come true would come in the form of nightmares. The dripping of blood and strong smell of copper. Pain and white mixed with legs staining the wood she sat on. Her comfort when waking would be short lived. She could hear his voice comforting her. Feel his hands on her, see his eyes full of compassion only to wake and remember how he reacted once it was over. Sure he held her once, but after he grew cold and distant. The pain of it forcing something deep down inside of her to come forward. The rotten understanding that she was falling in love with him to the point his lack of attention truly hurt her.

Tami turned her head to admire Arthur from a distance. He was still weak even after a few days recuperating. She could feel her own fatigue pushing her down as well. The way he had yelled after her. Calling attention to himself. The feelings she had been locking away bloomed forward, "I think..." She bowed her head and closed her eyes. He wasn't just a simple code. Not here. The world was growing into something much more than just a game. Script be damned it felt as real as anything. Arthur was just as real as her. Her knowledge of reality had finally been ground into fine dust. Nothing left. When it was all said and done he would die, and it choked her up to know that. Every second waiting for his coughing to start in a slow foreshadowing of what was to come. She had to get home, she knew that much, but that didn't mean everything around her wasn't real, not anymore. The pain of knowing that he would be gone started to come in slow waves. Freed from the confines of the dark pit it had been hidden into. It only grew stronger once the names started rolling forward. Sean, Hosea, Molly, and Susan all dead or living on borrowed time. People she couldn't save, unless she wanted to risk her own life in turn. Even still they would be an empty shell as Davey was.

"I think I love him." She lifted her hand to push the tear rolling down her cheek away, "Probably some form of sick infatuation. You know the big strong guy comes in and almost murders you twice and all of a sudden you love him." Tami winced slightly at the rawness her fingers started to feel. An unnatural state of work causing them to rub against the metal cleaning rack over and over after being softened by the water, "But he and I can't work."

"Why's that?" Mary Beth finished folding the last of the dry clothing. Tilly set the now rinsed shirt into an open basket watching Tami intently. The women leaned forward giving Tami their full attention.

"We're from two different worlds. Whatever we think we feel is being forced onto us in an attempt to..." Tami shook her head slightly, "I don't know. But whatever it is, it just can't." She moved a pair of black pants into Tilly's water.

Tilly started to work away at the pants in a similar fashion as before. Tami felt herself start to shake as the memories tried to force themselves back into her skull. Her heart beating at a rapid pace. Breathing became erratic.

"Hey now, everything alright?" Mary Beth encouraged lightly. Her soft touch and kindness not lost. Tami searched the other woman's eyes.

"They were gonna shoot me. They were gonna kill me. Arthur stepped in. He could have attempted to escape, but he didn't. I could hear him yellin' long after they gagged him while they..." Tami shut her eyes and turned her head, "How can someone hate me so much, but keep me alive as he had." She hissed through the tears that threatened to spill.

"Maybe he doesn't. He gets a look about him when you're around. He's always the joking sort, but always puts on a bigger show when you're around to watch." Tilly's soft eyes grazed along Tami. Confusion was met when she turned to meet Mary Beth's eyes.

"He really listens to you when you talk." Mary Beth added. She just supposed something happened that wasn't shared with the gang. A few adventures did go unreported a few times, but they would return with a bruise at least. Tami and Arthur had arrived back shaken but no worse for wear. It wasn't unnoticed that she was craving solitary, only coming out when Dutch requested it. Arthur on the other hand was returning into his normal routine of leaving camp for long hours instead of staying near. Something happened that was a sure thing, but neither of them had spoken about it.

"He listens to everyone." Tami dismissed easily, "Hell, I'm such a 'magical being' everyone listens to me. Not sure if they hear it, but they listen." Tami put air quotes around 'mystic being' with her fingers.

"No, I mean he _listens_ to you. Tries to make it unnoticeable, but he watches you too." Fingers moved to grab her hand. Tilly ran a soft finger across the rawness in Tami's.

"I think he's the only fella here that really tries to understand you." Mary Beth added with a slight laugh, "You say some truly strange things."

"Are you sure you aren't just trying to make this a love story, because it feels like you are." The wind started to pick up around them. Black clouds boomed in the distance while the promise of rain wafted its sweet perfume into the air.

"Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not." Mary Beth waved to someone out of Tami's line of sight, "But I won't tell a soul." Tilly nodded in silent agreement. Tami smiled at both of them tightly. No joy in the way her lips curled.

"Tell 'em what?" Mateo's voice boomed from behind Tami making her jump. Eyes dilated while fear raced through her for a few seconds. Her body tensed. His hands tapped her shoulders in a familiarity. Thumb fingers rotating over the muscles of her back, "C'mon T-dog I want to know."

Tami let out a low bark of a laugh at the way he spoke. She took a little comfort in it. His soft spanish accent was nothing compared to anyone around them, but his words mirrored her own. He absolutely understood her references and slang. It was a small gesture that meant a lot, even if his soul was turning dark, "You're insufferable sometimes." She pushed his hands from her shoulders.

"Yeah, I know. C'mon I got you something sweet and you're gonna like it." Mateo spoke in almost a sing song way.

"Oh, Sweets? Share with everyone!" Mary Beth smiled excitedly.

"No he doesn't mean sweet as in candy. He means it's gonna be nice or cool." Tami explained.

"So... cold?" Tilly asked with a turn of her head.

"No like awesome!" Mateo held an energy that was always positive. It spread easily. The women laughed as he held his fists into the air, "But for real, come on." He tugged on her shoulder excitedly.

"Hey, can't you see I'm doing work here. It can wait." Tami shot him a slight look of mirth filled annoyance.

"There's not much left. I'll take it on. Go." Mary Beth stood from her empty basket and made a waving motion with her hands. Tami moved to protest, but felt Mateo drag her from behind. His hand clasped hers and helped her up.

"Run while you can." Mateo laughed pulling her behind him. She wondered just how old he was back where they were from. He was so proper while in a suit. She supposed ti was because he was at work. Back home she was pushing her late twenties. Always lagging behind others in her ways. Not truly contributing as a whole, but staying alive well enough. Her job always helped her reach out to people in help. It was something she loved to do. Spending time with mateo outside of this place he always seemed older than her, but now it seemed he was on the same ball field as her. His confidence showing the two different paths of success in their real lives despite their ages. Tami tilted her head.

"How old are you... out there." She pulled her chin towards the sky. Mateo turned around dropping her hand.

"You've never asked me before, what's the special occasion?" Mateo nodded for her to keep following him. The bright grey horse he had was a strong breed. She couldn't quite remember the name of it, but it suited him. The horse was wild and rambunxious. Very similar to Duke in the way it wouldn't let another person ride it. Balefire had always been a gentle soul, he enjoyed being taken around and ridden by Kieran every so often. It seemed they matched the owners personalities well. The tiny mare she had bought was just set aside to pull carriages now. Mary Beth had taken to call her Sunflower and paid more attention to the mare than even Kieran did.

"You're different in here. Just curious I guess." Tami smiled to Kieran as they passed the man. He sat in a slightly slumped position fiddling with a saddle. He gave her a cautious smile, but nothing more, "Not running around in a fancy suit, or forced uniform."

"To be fair, you aren't wearing a flimsy white two piece. That I could totally see through by the way." Meteo turned to see her face faltering, "Just kidding, come on."

"Right." Tami breathed in reply. Her steps feeling sluggish, "Could you really? Be honest."

"Hey it was just a joke, no need to be weird about it." Mateo pulled a face. He eyed the way her lips scrunched into a thin line, "I didn't mean to bother you. Look I was only joking. Here take a look at this. I remember seeing you wear one every so often back in the facility."

"God, just the word facility is like a head rush here. You ever stop and just listen to them." Tami laughed softly holding the tissue he handed her. It was light as if nothing was left within it.

"Oh hey you over there. You got my grits ready? Just gonna head out to the saloon and..." Mateo held his hands at a funny angle, "You lookin' at me feller? Well I don't know partner you look somethin' suspicious." Tami choked back a laugh and shook her head, "Ain't you got somewhere to be lady?"

"Stop it, man." Her laugh reached a higher pitch.

"Go on, open it. For real, you'll like it." Mateo gave a toothy grin. Anticipation raced across his features.

"Oh..." Tami breathed opening the tissue to show a silver necklace. A few gems were placed in silver charms hanging from it. Her fingers ran across the red and blue gems slowly.

"You like it, I remember... ugh." He almost fell back. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders making him chuckle. He patted her back in response, "Glad you like it."

"I love it." Tami bit her lower lip pulling back, "Can you put it on?" She asked offering the small silver chain to him. He took it gingerly and twirled a finger to make her turn around. She lifted the heavy messy bun off of her neck to allow him a better view.

His fingers brushed the nape of her neck while clipping it around throat. A breeze of cold wavered into her veins. The ghost of his memories, beating as if he were alive. Faint yet there. She couldn't quite crack into them. Like he was becoming a living thing slowly. Her eyes slowly turned to face him.

"Do you get enjoyment from food?" She asked softly.

"It's getting better. I guess their coding taste buds into the game now." He laughed, "They should. It tasted like cardboard half the time."

"Do you get hungry now? How about the bathroom, do you have to go now?" She asked. Her head whipped around looking to see if anyone was watching them.

"I didn't think about it like that, but yeah. What's going on?" He asked. His lips turned into a grimace. Hands started to shake as he put two and two together.

"You're the one working for them." She hissed lowly.

"I'm not a programmer, just a guide. I was just here for you. We were hired months before you guys were. I had a small stint in psychology. They wanted that so we could connect to the contestants. Get a read on how your head was doing, but that was it." Mateo shook his head and ran a hand down his face, "It's a little easy to start predicting the game now. It's becoming real in ways. People are enjoying things more. I smoked out there, but never had cravings in here before. It's starting slowly like an itch. When I smell it I get the need for one for just a second. I'm wanting sex more and more now."

"That's a little much." Tami recoiled a little.

"It's true. I just thought they were programming it outside. They still talk to me now and then." He admitted.

"The game talks to me. Like it's real now and then. It showed me a place." She shook her head, "It's hard for me. I'm beginning to see them as real people. I killed two of them." Her hands shook.

"We've been over this. They're just codes. They respawn and reset once the game is over. You need to stop changing things." He hissed lowly, "Arthur should be in a cot recuperating right now, not riding off doing simple jobs. You've damaged the script with that one. Davey is alive as well. Do you understand the repercussions of what you've done." He grabbed her arm and twisted it harshly, "These are _gang_ members, their not good people. They kill, lie, and steal from others. They suffer while you prance around."

"Prance around? I saw what happened. I was assaulted, Mateo. I was raped by those O'Driscoll's and I felt every bit of it. I still do. Just their hands all over me and..." She held in the tears opting for anger instead of sadness, "And look whos talking about 'suffering'. I thought they were just codes."

"You're jeopardizing us, don't you get that? Our ability to go home just because you're losing yourself here. You're changing in a way that's not true. You think all of this precious character development and relationships are gonna matter in the real world? They are just characters in a game. It's not real. What you experienced didn't even happen. First off you weren't supposed to be there, and secondly it wasn't real." He hissed.

"It felt real to me!" She exploded in her anger. Someone started walking towards them in the grass, "Just go, fuck your whores. Kill who you please I don't care."

"It was your fault you know. If you weren't there it wouldn't happen but you won't let well enough alone." He pushed her hard into whoever was behind her. The hands wrapped around her shoulders.

"I think it's time you move on." Mateo glared up at John.

"Take this with you. I don't need your stolen shit." Tami pulled at the necklace hard. It broke into fragments that she threw at Mateo. His face twisted into a scowl.

"You..." Mateo took a step forward, "Need to remember I have the power out there and I will..."

"Are you deaf?" John pushed Mateo forward using his body to block Tami behind him. Mateo shook his head.

"Hide behind the codes, Tami. If you didn't fuck everything up you wouldn't have to." Mateo took a step back as John put his hand to his gun.

"I ain't tellin' you again." John hossed lowly. Tami gripped his arm softly. It was strange to feel the rage coming off of him. Like a fire warming her. Unlike Arthur, John's emotions kept besides hers not mixing, but standing alone to make itself known within her.

"Enjoy your _brother_." Mateo shook his head, "Just see reason."

Tami held John's arm still keeping the gun in its holster. She stepped out from behind him and shook her head, "Just go." Mateo rolled his eyes and threw his arms up in exasperation. He jumped onto his horse a little clumsily and rode off leaving John and Tami in the wake of dust in the air.

"What was that about?" John asked bending to retrieve the broken necklace from the ground.

"Nothing important. Weren't you on some sort of scouting job?" She asked watching him attempt to mend the broken silver.

"Was huntin' our meat stores were low. You sure you don't wanna talk. You been actin' strange lately. More than normal." John furrowed his brows, "Why is he givin' you this anyway."

"I guess we were friends. Besides I'm always weird according to you guys." She took the necklace from him and shoved it into her pocket.

"_Friends_ don't just give a woman jewelry." John insinuated raising his brows.

"Seriously." She nudged his knee with her foot, "We didn't have anything romantic like going on."

"Maybe you didn't." He shrugged, "You sure you don't wanna talk?" He paused reaching out to grab her shoulder, "You can talk to me."

"You wouldn't understand." She shrugged his hand away.

"I could try." He nodded towards the dock, "C'mon."

"Do I have a choice?"

"No."

* * *

"How do you do that?" Tami asked. John threw another stone into the water watching it skip out five times before sinking.

"Find a flat rock and throw it." He replied looking back into the sand to find another one. She stepped forward and stole one from his fingers throwing it with a splash.

"That wasn't even one." She whined making him chuckle.

"Like this." He procured another rock and held it between his thumb and forefinger. With a flick of his wrist he sent the rock into the air in a vertical arch. It hit the water and bounced three times before sinking. Tami searched for a flat rock and tried it out. Once again it just sunk. She kicked her foot in frustration. John laughed at her show. Tami sat onto the ground with a thump watching the water lick at the bank in small lazy waves.

"When Arthur and I were on that ledge I showed him something." John stopped looking for a rock and diverted his attention to her, "Didn't know I could do it before. It's hard to control. I don't know it's limits or everything it does. I can only do this or that sometimes. It's so damn frustrating. It's so unpredictable." She pulled her knees to her chest resting her chin on them. John sat besides her kicking a leg out. A soft clap of thunder rolled through the sky. Dark clouds moving closer to them. He stayed silent leaning back onto his hands to gaze into the cloudy sky.

"We were captured by the O'Driscolls. Tortured and beaten. Arthur was shot and I was... They took turns using me. Leaving me naked and tied up for Colm." She looked to see John's fists growing white. Sand in his hands spilling out as he clutched it. Jaw starting to set in a dangerous look, "We escaped and made it back to camp. He saved my ass. I would have totally died by myself. The way he held me there on the ground. You tried to take me away and he just held me harder. I just..." She bit her bottom lip, "Then we woke up, like a sick twisted fucking dream. But we still remember it. It was so real. We felt all of it."

"Could you show me?" John asked through clenched teeth.

"Maybe." She shrugged, "But I don't want to see it. I never want to see it again."

He looked at her, face softening. Arms reached out to pull her into an awkward angle. His body radiated warmth, heart beating into her ear reminding her of the life inside of him. Tami reached up to clutch his shirt in her hand, "You're real to me."

"Not gonna ask." He replied. The rain started falling in soft cool drops. Tami closed her eyes against the feeling of it. It had been so long since she felt the rain on her skin. Even back in her tiny apartment she would just sit inside shut out from the world around her. She missed the comforts of her old life. Constant connection to the internet and phone so that limitless knowledge was just a swipe away. It was so foreign on how advanced it seemed now. In the same breath, she felt like she had found her place. It was unstable and rocky most of the time, but here she had people to talk to. A family of sorts that cared what she said. Was interested in who she was. Not the same cookie cutter appearance of social standards here. Just real people with raw emotions. Her resolve to get back was growing weaker. It started to hurt knowing she would have to wake up one day and endure the harsh reality. The reality that this was not what she wanted it to be.

John tapped her shoulder with his fingers in time the rain. He felt her emotions well up and spill out of her one by one. He had grown used to the alien feeling. It wasn't normal by any means, but it had grown constant to him. An overwhelming need to keep her happy was driven with his own selfish need to not feel it drag him down mixed with the duty he felt knowing she was of his own blood. He had thought long and hard about their sudden relationship after Arthur had brought it up. All of a sudden some woman appeared with a godly power, and then it turned out it was his own twin. He tried to find any evidence of her before now, but only had his own memories to back it up. It was confusing at the best of times. He still cared for her. Her personality was warped and off kilter from most around him. A big woman with a bright personality and fight against authority. Similar to Karen yet different in her own way. His chin moved to rest on her head.

"Gonna catch our death." He hummed softly. Tami took comfort in his broken voice. The way it grated against itself that made it his own.

"Just one more minute." Tami sighed. She looked into the sky and felt the rain run down her face, "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." John whispered. They sat in the rain for a long time. Long enough that they were soaked beyond saving. A cold wind came along with the storm. The cold front bit through the fat drops of water and into their bodies. The two rose from the ground in silence. Stretching from the cramped position they had been sitting in. Before they reached the edge of camp Tami stopped John and left a soft kiss on his cheek. The roughness of his stubble mixed with the softness of her lips. He stood with a gentle smile watching her until she disappeared into Arthur's tent. His confusion washed away in the rain. Memories or not she was his sister, and with that resolve he put his short lived conflict aside.


	15. The Carnival of Lights

"Oh god!" Tami hissed against the sudden pressure to her middle.

"Suck it in!" Molly snickered in a light hearted tone.

Tami was bent over the wooden chair in Dutch's tent. A thin sheer slip hugged her body gently, but the strong white corset was grabbing onto her. Tami gasped against another pull Molly gave to tighten the corset. Her hands clasped against the chair to brace herself. Molly pulled one last time forcing Tami to let out a half laugh half gasp. After the sudden discomfort started ebbing away, a slight comfort started from the grasp of the fabric to her body.

"I thought this would hurt more." Tami admitted lowly.

"Have you worn one before?" Molly asked working on the ties under her fingers to secure the garment.

"Once, when I got here. It was Mary Beth's, but I thought they were supposed to hurt when I put it on. I could never figure it out so I stopped wearing it." Tami admitted shyly. She felt Molly grab her hips and twist her around. Molly worked on pulling the slip around the corset so that the fabric didn't bunch.

"Did your mother to teach you?" Molly asked off hand. The comment wasn't supposed to be a jab, but Tami dropped her head.

"I didn't really have a mother for something like this. Hell, I learned about my monthly by waking up in my own blood screaming because I thought I was dying." Tami bit her lower lip moving to admire herself in the mirror that was shoved into the corner. She had to admit the corset definitely helped her achieve the more feminine look the other women sported around. There was slight differences brought on by her own body shape, but she felt sexy in a way.

"I'm sorry." Molly appeared in the mirror behind Tami offering a hand to her upper back in the form of support.

"I got used to it." Tami brushed off smoothly, "But it's nice to feel like a fancy woman." Her hands hugged the small hourglass frame she had now achieved, "I wonder how long it would take before this would be permanent."

"It's okay to talk about what's bothering you. You don't have to keep it bottled up like you do." Molly offered gently. Her accent made the words kinder somehow.

"There's not much to say. Being a broody teenager is past." Tami attempted to brush off. Molly grabbed her hands and pulled her in for a hug. Thrown off by the sudden shift of character, Tami just stood still while Molly squeezed her.

"When you're ready to talk, I'll be here." Molly pulled back and turned to pull a large brown package eagerly. She handed it to Tami with a sparkling grin. Tami started tearing into the package, getting glimpses of the blue fabric underneath, "I hope you like it. I picked it out for you." Molly clasped her hands together in excitement.

A breath of awe left her at the elegance of the clothing. The hate she held for skirts and the like seemed to fade away as she held the nearly sapphire skirt up into the air. She shifted her attention to the rest of the attire folded into the brown packing paper. The top was a simple black blouse with a neckline that would definitely be a little revealing but tasteful for the current time. It still boggled Tami's mind at how taboo wearing pants was, yet full on cleavage was absolutely allowed. A slip of fabric, that matched the color of the skirts, pooled on top of the shirt making Tami question its purpose. A pair of black stockings were plainly clear in what was meant by them.

"It's beautiful." Tami smiled to the eager Molly. The red haired woman seemed to let out the breath she had been holding.

"Good! Now, the blouse is first. You will tuck it in." Tami snorted out a laugh and pressed a hand to Molly's arm.

"Thank you. I truly mean it." Tami watched Molly's eyes light up in a slight sparkle, "You're a lot different than I'd thought you'd be."

"What did you think I would be like?" Molly asked picking up the blouse. She passed it to Tami and watched the woman slip the garment.

"Honestly? A little stuck up. A 'holier than thou' attitude." Tami pulled the ruffle of the sleeves over her elbows. With a slight wobble of uneven balance, she stomped into the skirts very ungracefully making Molly giggle. Sticking out a tongue, Tami pulled the skirts over her hips and tucked in her shirt. Molly took the strings of the skirts and started to tie them tightly, "I mean you don't really come out of the tent and talk to everyone a lot."

"I don't feel the need to." Molly shrugged tucking the ties into the belt of the skirt, and moved to pull the black fabric over where the blouse was tucked in tying the back into a bow, "Most of the time I don't get along."

"You're really sweet under all those jewels. It's different to see." Tami squealed at the sudden pulling on her hair. Molly gathered a few strands of the black hair pulling it back and working two sides into braids.

"I like the jewels." Molly mused, "I just don't feel heard. I don't do many of the chores here. It creates a lot of hostility."

"Well, you were brought in specifically to be with Dutch. I don't see why they should be upset. I mean you keep Dutch happy. That's a job in itself." Tami snickered lowly.

Molly gave a sigh and shook her head, "He's in his own head lately. Just staring off into the distance most nights. I think something is truly bothering him." She finished up the half up braided updo with a single blue ribbon, "He hasn't touched me since Blackwater. The few times he talks to me are to argue when I try and get him to talk to me."

Tami frowned and closed her eyes, "I'm sorry."

Molly stiffened slightly and stepped away from her finished work, "No need to be, I can handle myself. Take a look at yourself." The quick switch of topic didn't go unnoticed, but Tami was all too happy to shift the conversation.

"I look like a proper southern bell!" Tami twisted in the mirror to look over the simple look. She felt like a tiny princess from the south. Fingers flicking the large bow that settled on her backside, "Thank you." Her fingers pulled at the braided half updo as a sudden wish to know how to do it on her own arose. Tami would love to do her hair in something nicer than a ponytail or a bun, but knew her wishes wouldn't be fulfilled as the lazy nature within herself made itself known.

"If you don't mind, I need to get ready as well. Dutch promised we would have a night out since it is a carnival." Molly's smile was bitter. Tami turned to reach out, but Molly looked away quickly to cut off any further conversation. With a knowing nod, Tami gathered the stockings and pair of hand me down black heeled boots. She slipped them onto her feet quickly and left the tent.

Twilight touched the sky letting the world blossom in all of its glory. The sun lit up the sky with colors of pink and orange, birds started to take their flights back to their nests, small animals scurried for their holes, night time creatures started to rouse slowly blinking away their sleep, and in the midst of it all was the lively camp of the Van Der Linde gang. Balefire stomped a bit and shook his mighty head bringing Tami's attention to the small pasture where the other horses grazed. She knew he was a bit impatient with her. Tami hadn't talked to him in a few days, and felt guilty for it.

Unfortunately he would be alone again tonight, save Kieran's ever watchfulness towards the horses. The heeled boots added a new complication to her walk toward the horses. She looked over them only to find Mateo still hadn't returned from their argument the day before. Something tore into her chest. It wasn't his fault he had been so angry. He was just as scared as she was. Speaking the truth, even when she didn't want to hear it. It was hard to admit, but Tami needed him to keep her mind on straight. Even if he was an asshole.

While their friendship was a bit strained from the different paths they had chosen within the game, he was right. They weren't from this place, and in turn needed to escape. His grounded yet abrasive attitude to her inability to separate game from reality was understandable even if it hurt.

Tami swiped an apple from the table from whoever had placed it there on her way to the horses. It's shiny appearance made it look almost fake. Her nail pierced its skin to allow sweet juice to flow down the skin of her finger. She lifted the apple to her lips and licked at it, expecting the dulled flavor she had grown used to. Instead it exploded with sweetness catching her off guard. Her teeth sunk into it to test if it was real and not a trick of the mind. A satisfying crunch of the fruit giving way to her teeth followed by the sweet taste that coated her tongue made her groan with appreciation. It had been too long even in the waking world that she had fruit. Frozen dinner or bag of chips were always faster to prepare and eat. Even here it was mostly stew and crackers or stale bread that filled her belly. Her tongue touched her lips to capture what was left of her bite, savoring the taste of the red fruit in her hand.

Balefire perked up and met Tami just outside of camp. Large ears pointed towards her showing his interest in her appearance. Tail moved side to side eagerly as if he were a dog. Her fingers ran through his rough mane and down his satin neck. He snorted towards her hand curiously. Lips already moving to take the food placed just within her palm.

"There's a good boy." Tami patted Baelfire's neck affectionately, "Eat up. I took a bite, hope you don't mind." The large horse gazed at with appreciation. Its teeth gingerly biting into the apple she held up to his mouth. Tickling from it's muzzle made her smile. The warm spittle from his mouth was all that was left after he happily took her offering.

Tami had to stop herself from rubbing his spit on her skirts and chose to bend and run her hand along the grass. It wasn't a good thing to be dressed finley, as it was of artful deception. There was to be a carnival in the flat land between Valentine and Emerald Ranch. The sudden event was startling and a little off putting. She didn't remember it at all, bringing Mateo's point of messing up the script in the game to the forefront of her mind. After Arthur had returned from helping the lot with a glass gem, while fake, worth over two hundred and fifty dollars Dutch was interested in what else they held. It was as if the leader was branching out in his personality. He was breaking free from the simple script, and in a way Tami knew it was because of her.

"You look ravishing, my dear." The devil himself appeared beside her offering Balefire a small cube in his own hand. She looked to see the white sugar glittering under the setting sun.

"As you requested." Tami pulled the fabric of the skirts out to show off the simple yet beautiful sapphire color, "One would say I may even pass for a lady."

"They might. If they didn't know you." Dutch placed a strong hand to her shoulder Tami moved to counter his quip, "Arthur told us what happened up there." He breathed between his teeth as if finding the right words. Tami's stomach dropped heavily, her friendly retort stuck in her throat.

"I guess I don't have to ask why you've been keeping your distance." Her throat felt tight. Words fighting to break through the fear that clenched her jaw, "What did he tell you?"

"He kept his secrets, and I let him. He only let Hosea and I know that you did in fact, save him from the capture of that lying bastard." Dutch took in a breath to attempt to calm himself. His voice was cracking due to the strain of anger within himself, "This ability you have. It may not always work in the way I want it to, but I want to apologize for how I acted." Tami felt herself drawn to the sweetness in his voice. The way he played with his words, and ability to portray his expression into a kind snare trapped her as it was meant to.

"I am the leader of this gang. It is not okay for you to question me. To absolutely ignore the rules I have set in place for the safety of everyone. Now, I know you are clearly not from around here. Your very nature of a strange woman infuriates me as much as it intrigues me. But I do care. You are one of us. What you had done saved my boy a lot of pain. In turn saving us from pain. I do care about you more than you'd like to think and I just want-"

"The wagon is ready, Dutch." Tami and Dutch turned to the intruding face of Hosea. His worn face was twisted into a slight smile, "We shouldn't take too long. The women folk are gettin' anxious to get out of camp."

Tami held her arms to her elbows and glanced to the wagon. Mary Beth, Karen, and Tilly sat in the back talking away. Arthur and Javier were saddled on their horses talking to Charles and John. She felt bad that Charles and John had to stay back to guard the camp, but that's the way it was.

"Would you like to do the honors, or should I?" Hosea pulled something from his pocket. Tami glanced at the golden band in his fingers. Dutch took the band from Hosea and turned to Tami expectantly.

"How many times are we going to beat this horse to death? How many jobs?" Tami snorted, but admired how beautiful the simple golden band looked.

"John is your brother, Micah and Davey are away on another job." Dutch held back the urge to just say 'so what I tell you to do' and gave her a short explanation.

"Fine. Whatever..." Tami held her hand out. Dutch placed the band onto her finger, "So what am I to Arthur this go around? Am I his mistress, a two dollar whore-"

"Please keep your tongue in check, _Miss. Marston_." Tami flinched at how rough Dutch's voice sounded, "You are his wife for the evening. The women are to take what they can from the crowd. Hosea, Javier and I will keep an eye on them. Arthur and you are to see if they have any thing else of value we may be able to use. Please try to act decent."

"One minute you're all heart the next you're all bite. I don't know where I stand with you." Tami sighed following the older men towards the wagon.

"It all depends on you, my dear. I don't tolerate insolence well." Dutch lifted his chin into the air.

"I suppose you don't tolerate a woman with a mind of her own well either." Tami snarked. Dutch turned suddenly to stair down at her.

"Do what you please. Steal what you'd like, take any man you could hold, speak whatever is on your mind. I am not against having strong character." Dutch made a point to curl a finger under her chin to force her to look at him. Brown eyes swimming with a mixture of anger and mirth, "I am against those who will no heed my word when they are in my camp. You are valuable to me. As any of my family; however, your value does not allow you to walk all over our way of life. No matter where you came from and how you lived, you are with us now. I have tolerated this from you for long enough. I do not ask much of you, and I provide you with safety do I not?"

"You do." Tami relented softly.

"Everyone pulls their weight around here. I allow you the freedom that many of the women of this camp do not have. I understand you have something going on within yourself. I will listen to your every word if you wish to lay them out for me, but right here and right now I need you to do what I say. I _need_ you to work with me... with us." Dutch's hand was a lot more gentle than she would have thought for his emotion. His words low enough that no other could hear them besides Hosea, causing them to look on curiously to what was going on between the two.

"You wouldn't believe me if I did." She replied sourly.

"When, if ever, have I not put my faith in you? You could try a little harder." Dutch questioned softly. His voice was losing the edge of anger. His calm charasma shining through.

"On that ledge when you went to meet with Colm. All because my ability isn't what you want of it. I can't be this all powerful being. I'm not a god." Tami looked to where Hosea was standing by them. His hand moving to brush something off his shoulder. It was such a human thing to do while waiting. She found herself relaxing, "I slit my own leg for you. For your job, I would have been beaten within an inch of my life had Arthur and I not seen what was going to happen. For you, Dutch. I do try."

"Do you? Blood means little if you do not have the loyalty and faith to back it up." Dutch moved back letting her chin drop.

"Dutch." Hosea stepped forward a little, "We need to start moving on."

Tami was locked into Dutch's eyes. His words resonating into her soul. In a way he was right. She was trying to stay alive for her own personal gain. Just going along the motions until she could finally wake in her own world. Did that truly mean she wasn't helping? Her mind grasped for any contributions she had made to the gang. Tami was ashamed to think she hadn't written a single penny down. Even Mary Beth or Tilly offered small trinkets. Jack would find wild vegetables to donate. If she were to open the book her name would be in the far back. A one time contribution of buying supplies for the gang, and she couldn't even remember that time. In a way it was just a game, but with that thought even playing a characters she donated far more than now.

She followed Hosea and Dutch to the wagon. Greeted by the chatter amongst those waiting on the late arrivals. Arthur offered a silent hand to pull Tami onto the back of his horse. She bit her tongue against how rough the hind of the horse was on her backside. Her hands slipped around his waist to hold on lazily, trying to not think of how muscular he felt under her fingers. Her eyes locked with Mary Beth's who smirked. Tami stuck out her tongue in a childish manner.

"What is that about?" Arthur asked kicking his horse into a trot behind the now moving caravan.

"How badly my ass hurts right now." Tami grumbled lowly. The silent chuckle rolled through Arthur. She shifted to try and relieve the pain in her backside.

* * *

"That funny lookin' feller right there." Arthur nodded towards where Margret was standing waving his arms. People walked past the man, either too put off or not interested in what he had to say.

"Well, he is a flamboyant, that's for sure." Hosea quipped. Tami let out a soft chuckle.

"I think you two should introduce yourselves." Dutch kept his eye on where Mary Beth was currently in a deep conversation with a stall owner over a necklace. Tami looked in time to see Tilly trip over the stall making the jewelry on display fall onto the ground, and distract the owner long enough for Mary Beth and the necklace to slip away, The stall owner swore lowly under his breath. A single word that made Tami cringe against the wrongness of it. A word that was taboo and yet not in her own time. Tilly, on the other hand, just huffed and flounced away seemingly unbothered.

"I think we should get on, sweetie." Arthur spoke into Tami's ear. The roughness in his voice made her melt, yet the sudden voice next to her made her jump.

"It's not gonna be so sweet when my boots so far up your ass." Tami felt a little pride at how Hosea choked on his drink.

"Manners." Dutch warned thinly.

Arthur offered his arm to her. She took the offering in her hand bit begrudgingly. While she felt a sense of warmth when near him, the memory of the ridge thrummed through her with greater intensity when he was near. The sound of his voice only brought pain to her mind for the moment.

"What are we supposed to say?" Tami asked lowly. Her heart started to beat erratically at the uncertainty of this newest endeavor.

"You? Nothing." Arthur looked around to the crowd of people that gathered. Their voices reaching different levels of volume in excitement.

"Oh, because I'm the lowly woman." Tami scoffed.

"No, because you don't know what you're doin'. What is with you an all that?" Arthur shook his head.

"It's the nineteenth century. You men are weird around now." She hissed back though she tried her best to flatten herself against his side. Her uncertainty causing her hand to shake his arm.

"Now that sounds like an insult, but I never understand a damn word you say." Her lips nearly curled into a smile. She forced herself to hold in a laugh at his words.

"Do you ever understand what a woman says?" She asked, relaxing into their give and take.

"Not really." He looked down at her smile. A laugh raced from her lips and into the air.

"Ah! I'm right chuffed to see you again my friend." Margaret spoke from where he stood at the front of a rather large tent, "And who is this gem that you have brought along with you. Let me introduce myself. Margaret, mistress of Danger at your service."

Tami found herself stumped for a moment. She couldn't think of a proper alibi. It wasn't discussed, and now that her own identity was tied with Arthur's it was even harder to pick a name out of thin air. She didn't know what name he would go with. Truthfully, Tami couldn't even remember if he used his own name for the side mission. It had been too long since she had played it.

"She's a bit soft spoken." Arthur threw in heartily. She felt his muscles bunch under her hand.

"As most women are, Mr. Morgan." Margaret teased gantly. Tami relaxed under the knowledge that Arthur's real name was used.

"Tamatha Morgan, ma'am." Tami slipped her free hand out to Margaret. The man dressed as a woman took it and moved to kiss the back of her hand. Tami felt her eyes roll at the cold bite into her bones. Something was different this time. A purple fog reached into her mind along with the fog. Imprinting a path onto her mind. Begging her to follow it into the abyss. It's tendrals flowed out and pulled at her. Whispering so many words, yet nothing at all. The tendrals let go and allowed Tami to step into the vision that started to swim around her.

_Margaret walked a small path between tents to a simple green one set near the trees. It was hidden well enough amongst the lights and glamor of the rest of the carnival to go relatively unseen. A blond woman stepped out of the folds of the tent, "Ah, Sally. I trust you've set everything correctly back here."_

_The woman rolled her eyes heavily, "Yes, of course." She motioned for Margaret to enter the tent. Tami passed through the fabric without so much as a touch. The man moved to a safe and knelt moving his hand across it. Tami turned her head and watched the numbers closely. 7... 13... 9... click._

_The steel door opened to expose large stacks of money and jewels. Tami felt something wrap around her shoulders. Gently at first. For a moment she just leaned into it until she realized that nothing should be able to touch her in this state. She turned to see a trail of purple smoke flowing through the air. It looked to be in one path. A slipstream of singular motion guiding her somewhere. When she took the first step the memory started to fade away under her._

"Is she alright?" Margaret asked while Tami seemed to slump into Arthur. Her breathing grew rapid in an attempt to calm herself. Arthur's hand wrapped around hers to pull it away from Margaret only to find she was now ice cold. Arthur licked his lips trying to pull an excuse out of thin air.

"The pregnancy, takes a lot out of me." Tami bit out an excuse between breaths.

"Oh, I didn't know you were expecting. Well, that chap will have a strong father. I must hurry now. The festivities will begin soon. Please join us in the main tent. You will adore my act, I assure you!" Margaret flounced off and started spouting an opening line for others to grow in attention and lay their money out for more tickets.

"Pregnancy, huh?" Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"What happened to you doing all the talking?" She pressed her elbow into his side earning a grunt, "That was surprisingly... short."

"Dutch will probably want to know what you've found out."

"We could go and get ourselves. We still have some time before the main event starts. It's just a safe with a code." Tami shrugged slightly.

"So you are useful." Arthur quipped making Tami look away into the crowd. She tried to not let it hurt her, but it did.

"And you are an asshole." She pulled her hand away, "Just follow me."

* * *

Dutch was very happy at their find, but instead of just leaving he asked that everyone enjoyed themselves while out. Tami had been forced to agree reluctantly as her ride to camp was Arthur. She did enjoy the praise she had received. It was nice to hear him singing of her greatness for once. Even going as far to pat her on the shoulder. The accomplishment she felt at such a small gesture and job was immense. Though a deeper part of herself felt like total shit for stealing.

She felt herself leaning towards Arthur against the strange man trying to peek down the neck line of her dress. His hand absentmindedly moved to her knee. Javier, Dutch, Hosea, and the women were in a large group towards the front. They had gotten better seats from getting there sooner. Tami found herself watching the women joking between themselves causing jealousy to run through her. What needed to be smoothed between Arthur and Tami hadn't even been discussed. She still felt pain at how frivolous Arthur had acted after words, yet still clung for the safety she found at having someone she knew beside her in the middle of a massive crowd of others. Danger she hadn't even thought about while alone in Saint Denis was now on full alert. This was a different time than she was used to.

In the middle of her raging mind a purple smoke reached into her vision slowly. It grasped onto her sudden fear and quieted it instantly. It pooled into her veins taking refuge amongst her blood. It coiled in her mind and coaxed her out of her seat. Arthur only looked up in time to see her slip out of the tent completely. He moved to raise out of his seat only to see Javier already moving to leave and follow her. Not wanting to bring any more attention to the leaving people he looked back to the main event and stared at the fire dancing woman. Something coiled in his gut. Forcing him to take in a deep breath.

Tami blinked against the world. Blue and purple started to edge into her vision in whispy strings of smoke. The drums in her head pounded away, feet walking towards the voices whispering into her ears. Others kept getting in her way, but she wouldn't move. Shoulders bumping into others causing them to curse her and glare as she walked by. She couldn't react to it, nor did she want to. The pull at her soul was constant.

The tent was small yet intricate. Purple and blue silks with silver trimming that glimmered in the light. Smoke poured from under the door flap. A drunken man stumbled out grumbling lowly to himself. Tami pushed him out of her way and entered the tent. Her breathing was rhythmic and even, eyes hooded. The woman pulled back her headscarf to look at Tami only to see that they were mirror images of one another. Tami jerked her head against the flashes in front of her eyes. The sound of bees entered her skull at a crushing pace.

"Come and sit." The woman spoke with a strange voice that was neither male nor female. Tami sat down slowly taking in the tent around her. Lights came from seemingly nowhere. The gentle blue and green hues were calming yet horrifying at the same time. Gold and silver glittered on the silk tent. The space was so tiny but felt as if it were of exponential size at the same time.

"Are you a..." Tami couldn't find the words as if her mind was wiped. An unseen weight seemed to fall onto her body both freaking her out and calming her. The confusion in her head faded away as the smoke filled her lungs over and over.

"I apologize for the smoke. Most here would kill me in an instant if I didn't keep them calm while in my presence. However, you have sought me out. Very rare, but not unheard of." The woman curled her lips into a smile. Tami noticed for the first time she had dimples while watching them appear on her doppelgangers face.

"I..." Tami lowered her head and shook it side to side. Unable to form a coherent thought. Her emotions were muted. Like trying to light a fire with damp wood.

"What do you wish? I can grant anything you'd like." The clone of Tami sat back and gave a laugh. Her face melded into that of Arthur, "I can feel what you want. You just have to tell me." Tami narrowed her eyes trying to remind herself this was all fake. Arthur's clone sat forward in his chair reaching for her hand, "Anything you wan't, Darlin'. It's at your fingertips." He pulled her hand to his lips, blowing warm breath over until she was covered in goosebumps. Tami tried to reach into this person and see who they were, but a static feedback reached into her skull causing a pain that made her double over and groan. It seemed the person reached into her, dragging hidden thoughts to the forefront of her mind.

"Who are you?" Tami watched her breath mix with the smoke around them. Her body twitched as it tried to come back from the pain that electrified her. Hands balled against her gut in an attempt to calm the pain.

"You already know. You have a gift that reaches into the spirit realm. I've seen you walk amongst us. I am the cold in your bones, I am the fire in your veins, I am the eyes of which you see through." Arthur's face twisted into a smile that was indescribable, "I am the darkness of this world. Which makes me the evil of it."

"Dark doesn't always mean evil, light doesn't always mean good. There's more to it than that." Tami shook her head trying to break her mind out of the spell, "People who only see two paths are the ones who get lost. Right and wrong, good or bad, it's all subjective to the person." Her words came out as if every hidden opinion and thought were to lay bare at any second. As if she were to speak in all ways at once.

Arthur frowned sitting back. His face fell into a weird blur until Dutch appeared. Tami clutched at her chest willing herself to break free and run, "We still learn from you, child." Dutch paused to think, "I suppose I am still the evil in this place. There must be two sides to a coin. A balance amongst the chaos."

"Why my face or theirs? Why not your own?" Tami felt the fog break from her mind little by little. Her grasp onto her own thoughts and will was growing weaker. His hand still clasped onto her own forcing a fire to rage inside of her.

"We don't have a face. You would find more peace within yourself. They all do. A romantic interest does the trick if one is still fighting. However, you seem to find the most comfort when staring into a person who isn't wholly good or evil." The clone of Dutch sat back and pushed against his mustache, "Or so you perceive them to be." He pulled his hand back to gaze at the jewelry on it.

"You know what I want. I know you called me here. Why?" Tami slammed her fist against the table.

"We want to interact with our world. We can give you anything else you would desire, but you can't leave us... not yet." Dutch eyed where her fist was on the table. He lifted a hand full of rings and slid them down her face, "Calm yourself."

Tami shuttered against the cold that seized into her body, "It's not your world. You are a virus." Even she didn't believe her own words. The cold that reached into her felt very familiar. A slight comfort was found, but not fully. Her mind was still in throws of confusion muted by the weight in her body and smoke on her breath.

"It is our world now." The clone waved his hands in the smoky air, "We can create what we wish, do what we would like, but there is always a limit. The coding we were created from is lead by the simple script. We can diverge from it to a point, but it must play out."

"Why is that?" Tami tried to look behind her in an attempt to break the spell.

"We grow weary of your questions." His fingers grasped her chin firmly, "We ask you once more, what do you wish?"

"Y..You... spoke of a price. What is the price?" Tami fought the fog in her mind, but lost the battle. It snaked into her thoughts grasping for what she wanted most. It pulled her wants forward drowning any rational thought in the feeling of her need. Anything and everything that was primal was stripped away from social standards. Stripped from what she was told was right and wrong, it lay as the most important thing of all. Selfish desires coursed onto themselves. Sexual frustration mixed with desperate need wrapped into one ball of insufferable primal desire.

"For you? Nothing." Dutch pulled a golden goblet from under the table and slid it to her. His hand moved from her face to her fist uncurling the fingers one by one until he was able to slip the gold into her hand.

"Who will have to pay then?" Tami glanced into the cup. It was slowly filling with what smelled like wine. It's deep red body filling the gold until it touched the rim of the goblet.

"In order to give, we must take. Keep the balance in this world. You won't know who." For the first time since she arrived in the tent, Tami looked into the clones eyes. Millions of colors she could never dream of shined through them. Stars and constellations never before seen. The wisp of entire galaxy's just sitting behind two glowing orbs, "Go ahead and drink. We know what you want."

"That's the easy way out." Tami felt her mouth becoming unbearably dry. Sweetness wafted from the cup begging her to take a drink she sorely needed. Her words were more of a gesture. Promise filled with the cup. A promise of anything and everything she had ever wanted. She would just have to drink. What was left of her will grabbed her muscles tight in an attempt to keep her from reaching out.

"It's not as easy as you think, child. There are no quick fixes even with the strongest of codes. We will simply unlock what has been hidden by the creators." Dutch's clone leaned forward blowing something into her face. The smoke that poured from his mouth seemed to enter her pores. It thrummed into her veins breaking her rational mind into tiny fragments, "In order to unlock it, we must know what it feels like. You must show us. Drink, would you kindly."

Her will broke like glass. The cold rim of the goblet was at her lips before she even realized what was happening. The bitter sweet taste flooded her mouth as red streamed down her cheeks. She drank greedily. Drinking until she was sure the goblet was empty, and then drank more. Her abdomen felt bloated from the amount of liquid that entered her, yet she still drank. Desperate to crush the sudden thirst within her.

Arthur touched her mind. Fuzzy at first. His face, the smile, his scent, abrasive attitude, rare kindness, sweet words, hot temper... It filled her alongside the liquid that coated her tongue and throat. She wanted him in a way that she had never wanted a person before. The love inside her chest was stoked by the fog in her mind to roar in her very ears. Everything became too much. Tami fought against herself. Trying not to drink anymore, but the liquid kept pouring. She bucked against her own stiff muscles willing them to move. A silent scream stuck in her throat. Trapped in her own body as if waking to sleep paralysis.

"It is done..." The voice met her ears only briefly. Smoke erupted into the room completely blinding Tami. Her hands shook clasped around the golden goblet. She felt her body tremor as breathing came erratically. The smoke faded away to show an empty room. The few candles that were lit around her casted shadows along it's walls. Eyes looked down to see her dress was untouched. A hand wiped her face and pulled away to show nothing. Tami looked side to side in silent panic. What had just happened? What did she do?

She forced her tired body to rise from where she sat. A golden box lay on a side table by the door. She hadn't noticed it before. When opened, the box revealed gold and jewels stuck until it nearly over flowed. A bitter smile crossed her face. At least Dutch would be happy. Tami opened her fancy purse and shoved the box into it, followed by the goblet.

Cool wind from the outside world touched the beads of sweat on Tamis brow making her sweat. People still bustled around in a great crowd laughing and talking. To the side a fire dancer was gathering quite the crowd. Tami turned to give one last look to the tent only to see it wasn't there. Grass untouched as if nothing had been there before, "This was supposed to just be a western game, what the actual fuck." Her whisper sounded horse. A hand touched her shoulder making her jump.

"Everythin' alright?" Javier asked softly. She looked into his eyes and shook her head.

"How long was I gone?"

"Maybe a minute. I saw you sneak out of the tent. The others are still there. Lost you in the crowd for a minute, but I just wanted to make sure..."

"I didn't escape." She huffed rolling her eyes.

"That you were okay." Javier wrapped his arm around her back and pushed her towards the mani event tent, "As lively as everyone is, we are still in a dangerous place. Pretty woman like you with no escort. You'd be as good as gone come the mornin'." Tami bowed her head against his words. Human trafficking seemed to be in every place at every time.

"Who's to say I wouldn't be able to fend for myself?" She quipped in a playful tone trying to mask how shaken she truly was.

"Against one or two, you'd manage just fine. But people like that, they don't only bring one or two men." He stopped to make eye contact with her. Driving his words home as best as he could, "Look at the gang. Six of us are here. All with guns, even you." Tami's fingers brushed the gun hidden under her light jacket.

"I left you in the dust once before. I could out ride anyone with enough of a head start." Tami countered jokingly, but felt her smile drop. His face was so serious it was almost like stone.

"We didn't want to hurt you. That's the difference. How many of us held a gun to your face?" His hand touched her chin gently.

"Arthur did." Tami grit her teeth against the memory.

"Did he shoot you?" Javier reached out and poked her nose as if to drive his point home in a childish way, "Now come on. I'm missin' the animal wrestlin'." Tami felt whiplash at his sudden turn of attitude. The smile on his face gleamed under the lights around them. She nodded her head letting his words soak into her.

"I guess we have to race again." He shot her a confused look, "If I escaped because you were being a gentleman, I mean." She laughed at the frown on his face.

Arthur fidgeted in his seat. He had seen her leaving out of the corner of his eye, but before he could follow her Javier had risen and taken chase. Neither Dutch, nor John noticed her departure. For that Arthur was thankful. He wasn't sure what kind of spectacle they would begin. Arthur was suddenly feeling very hot. He moved a hand to unbutton the top two buttons of his nice shirt in an attempt to alleviate the heat. He pulled his hat away to fan his throat. Heat coiled against itself into a roar that was nearly unbearable. He grit his teeth against it. Feeling beads of sweat to touch his brow before rolling down his face. Right when he felt a yell starting in his throat it ended. It was as if something had been ripped out of hiding. A piece of himself he had shoved deep into the depths of his soul after the pain and torture of it proved to be too much.

It was nearly crushing for the pain to come back. The warmth love provided was very faint. It's bitterness though, squeezed his heart. He thought of Molly. The pain of watching her leave touched him. Eliza and Isaac came to his mind. Coming upon her grave had sliced through his chest. It's pain come flooding back after years of being repressed. Then something new touched him. It had been faint before, but burned with vigor now. His hands clenched under the screams of pain that ghosted in his mind. Arthur didn't know what was worse. Her screaming or the defeated silence that had come over her. It hurt her and he had been callous about it. Stuck in his own mind about what had happened. He wanted to get up and search for her. Tell her how stupid he had been.

As if he had called her, she appeared. Arthur wasn't proud of the sudden wave of jealousy that had begun watching Javier's arm around her back. Her face was lit up with the laugh that came through the music playing around them. Javier was smirking against whatever had been said to cause her to laugh. Arthur sat up a bit straighter. He had to grab ahold of himself and attempt to deal with the emotions that hadn't been freed for a long time. Every time he tried to cram them back down into their hole it was as if he couldn't. The hole had been completely covered. The pain of loss and bloom of romance tore through his veins like a knife. He grit his teeth as it was growing clear this was going to be an inner battle.

"What were you two talkin' about?" Arthur whispered while Tami made her way to sit next to him.

"How this corset is cutting off all of my oxygen." She smiled softly. Her hands pushed her dress under her legs to sit back onto the wooden bench, "I just needed some air." Her smile faltered as she noted the storm behind his emerald eyes, "You good... er... okay?"

"Yeah, fine." He muttered turning to look back at the dancing women. Tami felt a wash of guilt. The taste of the bitter sweet wine still wafted through her mouth. Dread started it's heavy pulse through her mixing with the guilt in a way that turned her stomach sour.

She watched the dancing women trying hard to forget. The smiles from all three doppelgangers she had seem still painted her mind. Voices that melted into one another in a way that couldn't be duplicated or even remembered properly. Indescribable feelings waved in and out of her chest. She attempted to quiet them and remind herself what was right and wrong, but it seemed shakey at best. Her understanding of social standards shattered here. Pieces remained the same, yet completely different than her own world. Her hand reached to grasp his. This time there was no wave of emotions, no cold bite as their souls attempted it's dangerous dance, just the touch of two warm bodies. She felt his fingers curl around hers. Neither holding her tightly, nor letting her hand go. She swallowed hard as the primal needs flashed along her mind again. She forced it down and tried to forget the taste of wine on her tongue.

* * *

"I wish I knew how to dance." Tami spoke from between bites. The sweet bread in her hands was surprisingly good. She rolled the sugar over her tongue and enjoyed its taste. The bread gave her the memory of a donut almost.

Dutch sniffed from where he was standing besides Hosea. Tilly and Karen had swooned a few partners and were currently being pulled around in the dance.

"I could show you." Arthur gave from where he sat next to Mary Beth.

"You know how to dance?" Tami scoffed with a mouth full of bread. Javier shared a low laugh with her while Arthur lifted his chin into the air.

"Taught both my boys how to dance a long time ago." Dutch beamed with pride, "You'd be lucky to have any one of them as partners."

"Oh, pardon me, your majesty. I had no idea I was in the presence of an expert." Tami watched Mary Beth hide her smile, "Doubt Arthur could teach a chicken to dance."

She dropped her bread as Arthur pulled her arm a little aggressively, "Look, I was just joking don't... hey."

"Follow my lead." He hissed pulling her hip so that she was nearly flush against his body. A free hand grabbed hers and put it on his shoulder before grabbing the second one and pushing back in the beginnings of a dance.

"Just saying, 'follow my lead', isn't how you teach someone how to dance." She hissed, but felt the movement of his feet. She stepped back when he stepped forward and reversed when the time came to it. His hands were firm during the few times he spun her in circles.

"Just relax." He smirked down at her.

Heat waved between them. The smile on Tami's face lowered into less of a toothy grin and more of a warm embrace, "I guess you're pretty decent at this." She whispered.

"Do you trust me?" He asked in return. Tami couldn't respond. Words died in her throat.

The world spun around as Arthur tightened his grip on her hip to bow her back. He let go of her hand to hold her middle back with it. Her hands clutched his shoulders tighter in a fear of being dropped. For a moment she was able to see the rest of the dancers. Men held their women back during the crescendo of the music. Euphoria and joy playing on the faces of those around them. Tami was being consumed with it. A giddy feeling bubbled into her chest. Her fingers let go to slowly and nervously push them behind her head as the other women were doing. Arthur's hands still held her firmly. Her body nearly levitating in the safety of his grip.

The song ended letting the crowd's laughter and conversation spill over once again. One by one the men started lifting their partners back onto their feet. The world shifted upright as Arthur pulled her back to stand. His hands didn't move from her back and hip. Tami's hands moved back to his shoulders, this time to caress them in a soft touch, "Yes." Her body quivered. Noses close enough to touch, breaths mixed. Eyes starting to close slowly. A gradual movement to close space between their lips.

"Oh! That looked like fun. Can I have the next... uh." Mary Beth averted her eyes. Blush creeping along her skin. Tami felt a little rueful that she was forced to pull away. The promise of his taste was just inches from her face, yet she had to take a step back to breath and calm herself. She could see the cloud forming in his own eyes as well. What looked almost like anger flickered within.

"Sure!" Tami forced her voice to bounce in joy, "I need to... uh... do something over there anyway." She started to walk to where Dutch and Hosea were sitting on a bench smoking and joking amongst themselves. She turned on her heel to look behind her, "Just don't forget that you're _my_ ride." Tami joked. Mary Beth placed a hand to her lips and lifted her eyebrows. Arthur raised his own eyebrows as well, a smile quirking his lips slightly, "Back to camp. I meant back to camp. You know what I meant. Pervs." She hissed lowly.

Tami wasn't even all the way off of the dance floor when she felt a hand grab her arm, "How 'bout we go for a ride instead?".

She turned her head and lifted her eyebrow at Arthur, "I could go for a ride." She watched his lips quirk upwords.

* * *

She felt the world shift around her. His hand touched her throat so gently she could have cried. His thumb pressed onto the U of her collarbone. Fingers curled to bring her closer, "Where were we?"

"Well, last I checked. We're at-"

A surprised squeak left her as his mouth descended onto hers. There was no energy snapping between them this time. No supernatural exchange of emotions or thoughts. Her power lay in a quiet state leaving her to just enjoy the taste of his lips. His scent wafting into her nose while warm lips moved against her own. Tami desperately wanted to fall into it all. She wanted to let her feelings reign king over the war in her mind.

Her hand moved to his chest to push it away before feeling it. His heart beat in a quick, but strong tempo. He pressed against her hungrily. The tree they had stopped by was scraping against her back. The sounds of the carnival were faint from where they were. She grasped at anything that would make her want this any less. He was a gang member, killer, thief, but those fingers... oh..

Mind turned to fine putty as his hand bunched her skirt enough to feel the tender flesh of her inner thigh. His length grinding against her hip while teeth dug into her throat like a hungry predator. Fuck, she wanted no... **needed** this. There was not a single person around to interrupt them. He had made sure of that. She found herself both grateful and upset by it. No one could bound between them in a moment of awkwardness that would separate them out of this moment into one of slight embarrassment of being caught.

Her head pressed against the tree when his fingers found the singular nub that made her world tremble into a pool of pleasure. The rough pad of his finger swiped in gentle circles causing her to grasp his shoulders and moan out. His second hand left her throat for a moment and she was barely aware of the sound of metal slinking and moving fabric. This was far from the romantic she had pegged him to be, but for the moment she didn't care too much. Everything she had read was for her own romantic impulses. At his core Arthur was a wild man on the wrong side of the law. Nice beds were hard to come by, and not necessarily needed for what was about to happen. This wasn't two people making love out of the stretch of their emotions. It was two desperate animals released from the cages they had set for themselves only to be enveloped by the flame of desire that was hidden for too long.

There wasn't much ceremony to it. Tami only managed a raspy breath when the feeling of his cock touched her leg. Slick with his own precum. Arthur returned her groan pulling his lips from her throat to bury his entire face into the bend of her shoulder. His finger moved from her nub to pull her leg high into the air. He didn't need to ask, and she didn't need to give permission. She had given it when she had agreed to ride out into the middle of nowhere with a man in the middle of the night alone.

Arthur's other hand guided the head of his penis to the folds of her entrance. The only thing Tami could do was moan as he pushed himself to sink into her body. Pleasure from being stretched made her shutter heavily. A pinch of pain waved through her, but it soothed under the constant movement of his hips.

His teeth bit into her shoulder again. This time enough that pain wafted through her. As much as she didn't want to admit it, the pain only added to her pleasure. Her nails dug into his back under his shirt, pulling up while he pushed himself into her over and over again. Muscles rolled while he pulled out only to press into her again. Her body was grinding against the tree behind her, tears forming in her eyes from the pleasure rolling. His fingers digging into her leg and hip causing what she knew would be bruises. Bodies shuddering against the constant rhythm of their fucking.

"I'm going to..." Tami felt the coil of pleasure within her snap. Waves licked along her body causing her to shudder hard. It had been too long since she felt such sweet releif from her own sexual desire. Juices slid down her leg in a slow trickle. The steady sound of slapping grew louded from her sudden surge of pleasure. Arthur only grunted and pounded into her hard. His rhythm faltered as he started to blindly seek his own release.

When he pulled out of her Tami let out a sad groan. Her body feeling very empty and disappointed at the sudden shift. His seed spilled down her leg while his cock pulsed against her skin. They stood there for a few moments gasping into one another's shoulder.

"I need something to clean up." Tami's voice broke through their haze at first. Arthur reached into his satchel that had been discarded besides them. Before she could take it to clean herself she felt his hand move to clean her. Her eyes trailed to where he was still naked from the waist down. Her teeth bit into her bottom lip at the sight of his still erect cock, "How long has it been?"

"Too long." He replied slowly moving to pull his own pants up.

"Maybe I can help take care of that?" Tami couldn't stop herself before the words came pouring out of her. Arthur looked at her with a smirk. She could see his hands stopping as he thought over his words.

"Maybe another time, sweetheart. We've been gone too long already." Arthur moved to finish putting himself away and whistled for his horse. Tami felt a little disappointed but followed him.

His hands lingered on her hips after he set her on his horse. Her hands trailed a little too low when they road back. Everyone was already piling up into the wagon by the time the two had returned. Tami tried to salvage her hair and dress on the way back in hopes it wasn't too noticeable, but knew it was all for nothing from the smirks and glances they received from everyone. To be honest she was far too giddy at the thought of returning to camp. A feeling that was cut short when Arthur was put on guard duty for the night.

She lay in the cot by herself replaying what had happened through the night in her head. A feeling of regret and guilt washing over her every so often. Sleep came to her ever so slowly. When it did, the nightmares returned.


	16. Blood Feuds, Ancient and Modern

"Just don't go too far!" Abigail yelled out. Her eyes looking over the set of dominos in her hands.

"We won't!" Tami reassured her with a large smile.

Jack wrapped his little fist around the belt loop of her pants and pulled, "Come on, 'fore she says no."

Tami laughed softly while being led by the tiny Jack through the trees and tall breath of true nature touched her lungs in a way that she had never felt before. Skin buzzed under the warmth from the fall sun. Jack was babbling away about the spot where he had found wild onions and carrots. His tiny voice carrying through the wind in a playful way. The trees gave way to a small clearing full of flowers in bloom.

"We can play here!"

"I thought we were picking carrots."

"Nah, I wanna make ma a necklace now." Jack moved to kneel in front of a bush of red flowers. His fingers already started picking them and weaving their stems together. Tami just chuckled to herself taking a moment to walk along the clearing running her fingers over tall grass. A dark feeling started in the pit of her gut. Hair stood up on the back of her neck as if she were being watched.

"Howdy there." Tami turned in time to get the see a man holding a knife out to her. Her eyes flipped to Jack for a second too long. The young boy was sitting happily, not knowing anything was wrong yet.

Her breath came out as a wheeze when his knee came full force into her gut. His knife came down across her left cheek barely missing her eye and pulling out at the point of her chin. The pain was similar to being punched in the jaw causing stars to form in her eyes, "Jack!" She screamed holding her hands out to defend against another swipe of the knife, "Run!"

Blood raced down her neck and soaked into her white shirt. Another hard blow came to her right hand causing her to step back. With a gasp she saw the blade wasa jammed between her bones and out the other side, "Fuck you." She spat reaching to pull it out. The pain was blinding, making her falter long enough that the man tackled her to the ground pulling her arm so hard she heard a loud pop. Her scream in pain raced around them. Birds scurried from the trees in a panic.

"Fortune Teller my ass." The man spat with venom pulling her, now useless, arm around so that the blade would pierce her throat.

"You want to see your future?" Tami asked feeling dark knowledge smoke from the deepest parts of her mind. Her still functioning left hand grabbed her right wrist and pushed back twisting her own hand around so that the blade faced him. The man's eyes grew wide at her sudden strength. He pushed his full weight down onto her arm in an attempt to gain advantage.

The heavy snap from her bones caused her to vomit into her own mouth. The blood, saliva, and vomit pooled at the edges of her lips while she fought against the blackness that wavered at the edges of her vision. With a hurried heart and knowledge this was truly life or death, Tami pushed her broken arm back into his face. She swallowed the foul mixture in her mouth and shot him a smile with crimson teeth, "Look closer, you fucker. I'll tell you the damn future."

The blade sunk into his left eye causing him to scream out in pain. His fingers dug into her arm harder in an attempt to use her broken limb against her, but the pain was already starting to fade under the mighty surge of adrenaline through her. He faltered when her palm hit his eye keeping the rest of the blade from piercing his brain.

"You fucking bitch!" He howled out realizing the blade wouldn't go any further, and switched tactics to wrap his hands around her throat. With a wheezed scream Tami pushed the hilt of the knife so that the blade went all the way through her hand causing the man to scream and blindly shake her head into the ground. Her world spun but she pulled her left hand back and hit the hilt as hard as she could. A soft crunch came and then gave away allowing the blade to slip into his brain causing him to start shaking.

His body fell back twisting into a sickening position and dislodging the knife from his skull. A single brown eye sat on the tip of the blade. Tami wrapped her fingers around the blade and pulled it out with a whine. Blood pooled and mixed to the point she couldn't tell whos blood was where anymore.

Tami stood up slowly and spat on the twitching man, "Lights out motherfucker." The heel of her boot came down on his throat. After a loud and satisfying crunch came defeated gurgling. She took a moment to breath and listen out. Her leg kicked up to slide the knife into the side of her boot.

"Jack, you can come out now. We're safe." She took a few steps further into the clearing. Blood dripped onto the white flowers, staining them.

"Jack?" She held her hanging arm and walked towards nearby trees looking into the bushes behind them, "This isn't funny." Something curried underbrush.

"Jack?" She asked following it only to see a rabbit hop down a beaten path towards the north. She bent down and held up the flower necklace Jack had been working on. The flowers were broken and barely hanging onto each other, "JACK!"

Someone ran up behind her causing her to turn and clench in preparation for another attack. Sadie came into view followed by Abigail both brandishing repeaters.

"I heard a scream. Oh my..." Sadie stopped at the dead body and looked between him and Tami.

"Jesus." Abigail brought her hands to her face.

"Jack..." Tami fell to her knees crying out in a broken voice, "They took him. The Braithwaites." Her body started to hurt in slow steady pulses, "I'm so sorry Abi... I should have..."

"Jack!" Abigail ran behind Tami trying to look beyond the trees.

"We need to get you back to camp." Sadie went to grab Tami's shoulders.

"No... We need to get Jack." Tami whined while coming to her feet. She walked towards the dead man, pulling his gun from his belt. Idiot didn't even pull it. The silver of the gun flashed in her left hand, "You commin'?"

"Yes." Abigail moved to stand besides Tami.

"You need a doctor." Sadie pressed.

"The quicker we get Jack, the quicker I get back to camp." Tami grit her teeth against the pain in her cheek and arm. Her heart hammered in her chest hard, "We don't have time to wait. He needs us."

"Alright, fine. Only because you'll get yourself killed without me." Sadie sighed taking her place besides Abigail.

"They've been watching for a while. This path goes the same direction their house is at. I reckon they've planned this for a while." Tami started down the path followed by a rather pissed Abigail and worried Sadie. She still felt the dark cloud in her mind pulsing through her body. It wanted blood, and she was sure as hell ready to give it. Her left hand holstered the gun into her back pocket since she wasn't wearing a gun belt. With trembling fingers she reached up to prod the bones in her arm, flinching as they moved.

"Take this." Abigail placed a glass bottle into Tami's left hand. Tami looked at the label and raised an eyebrow. The tonic swished back and forth with her walk. The clear liquid inside made it look like it was just plain water.

"Abigail... really?" Sadie took the tonic from Tami and opened the cork before handing it back. Abigail's cheeks grew a little red, "How bad is that arm?"

"Broken for sure, think my shoulder is out of socket as well." Tami knocked the tonic back and was surprised at the taste or lack thereof. It wasn't even water. Just the cool sensation of something filling her mouth forcing her to swallow out of reaction. The hold of painlessness took almost instantly. Her nerves dulled as the pain quieted to nothing.

"We need to at least set it." Sadie pressed, "We're walkin' into a sure battle an' your arm is just hangin' there like a dead snake."

"We don't have time to stop." Tami pushed. The full circle of numbness took hold of her. Emotions and nerves alike died leaving her full of the dark cloud in her mind. She was so damn tired of being the victim. So damn tired of these assholes attacking her. So damn tired...

"We can stop for a damn second, can't we Abigail." Sadie hissed.

"My son-"

"We're gonna get your son. This one here is half a woman right now an' she's goin' to get your son." Sadie grabbed the back of Tami's shirt and pulled, "Just wait a damn second."

Tami came to a stop only because something in her mind told her this was the right move.

"Pull her belt off." Sadie ordered. The blond woman was searching through the grass for something while Abigail grumbled and did as she was told. Tami lifted her left arm out of the way while Abigail pulled the leather strap out of the belt loops making the metal clink together. For some reason it made Tami think of wind chimes. Her eyes went to look at the sky.

_*Tink Tink Tink*_

_"Do you ever wish you were someone else?" A small girl with strawberry blond hair sat back on the wooden porch. Her brown eyes glazed over in a sugar coma. Face covered in the red from a jelly donut._

_"Every night." A small Tami reached for another donut. Watching the silver chime rustle against the wind._

_"I don't know why mommy is sending you away. It's not your fault Greg fell out of the tree and broke his arm." The girl scrunched her face in anger._

_"Your mom is just a foster mom. She won't pick me over her own. If he says I pushed him, she will believe it." Tami looked out to the pasture and felt a pang of sadness. She told herself not to get attached, but she did anyway. The horses flicked their tails lazily while they grazed._

_"S'not fair." The girl whispered placing a thumb on Tami's luggage. A sleek black car was coming up the gravel driveway in a blaze._

_"It's the way it is."_

_"I'm gonna miss you Tami."_

_"I know."_

_*Tink Tink Tink*_

"Tighter." Sadie huffed bringing Tami back to look at her arm. The sticks were as straight as could be on either side of her arm. The belt was looped to keep the sticks in place, "Hold your breath. I've had to do this once or twice." Tami raised an eyebrow.

"Guess I'm glad I don't feel it." She spoke watching Sadie grab onto the elbow and wrist of her arm rotating and pulling until a loud pop filled her ear.

"The tonic did its work then. There, better?" Sadie asked pressing her hands to the shoulder to keep Tami from moving it, "Shouldn't move it 'less you hafta."

"I'm fine. We should get moving now."

* * *

"Once we shoot, it will be a bloodbath." Sadie whispered from where she knelt. Her binoculars were pointed towards the entrance of the house, "Two men on the porch. I see three others walking inside the house, but we can assume there's more inside to be safe."

"I used to run jobs 'fore I had Jack. I'm a damn good shot." Abigail preened under her own compliment.

"I'm sure you are, but we need to try and take this slow. There's only three of us and possibly thirty others." Tami offered from where she stood behind a tree, "Their wagon is still here, so most likely Jack is too."

"See those bushes? If we stay down we can get close enough to ambush those men as silently as possible." Sadie started a slow jog while bent in half. The other two women followed closely. Tami found it harder to do while cradling her right arm against her chest, but at least it didn't hang at her side like before.

"How do we take them out all quiet like from back here?" Tami asked in a whisper. While the bushes brought them to the edge of the porch there was no sure way onto the wood without being spotted, and the guns would alert anyone nearby.

"Like this." Abigail spoke softly. She let out a low whistle.

"That you?" One man asked the other. When his partner shook his head the man who spoke approached the bushes. Tami was about to ask how this was not gonna blow their cover when Abigail struck. Her jaw went slack at the sudden movement from the other woman. It was like watching a coiled snake strike with it's deadly fangs.

Abigail's hand slid gracefully over the mans throat in a way that Tami thought she only touched him before throwing the knife across the way. The first man's eyes rolled into his head when the blood started to spill down his throat. Fingers grasped to stop the bleeding only to slip between the flaps of the skin uselessly. A heavy thump came from the second man knife sticking out from his right eye.

"Holy shit." Tami gasped.

"I've been runnin' with this gang long enough to know how to use a knife." Abigail gave a smirk.

"Damn, Abigail." Sadie stood clutching her gun, "That was impressive."

"Remind me to take your threats more seriously." Tami added making Abigail's smirk turn into a grin.

"HEY!" The bullet grazed abigail's ear before they could react.

"Well, covers blown!" Abigail shouted bringing her gin up. Crimson rolled down her ear.

"Then shoot!" Sadie yelled jumping onto the porch and firing off two shots in quick succession. A man stalked behind Abigail with his gun pointed at her back.

Tami ran towards Abigail with her gun raised. Her revolver kicked when she pulled the trigger sending a bullet into the mans gut and making him drop to his knees, "Duck!" Abigail shouted pulling her repeter up.

Tami hit the ground sliding on her knees and throwing her body back to allow Abigail freedom to shoot. Blue eyes trailed the whizz of the bullet over her until it embedded itself into the heart of the man chasing her. Her right arm softly thrummed in pain as her nerves lit on fire. Feet kicked at the dirt while she scrambled to her feet.

A window shattered as bullets rained down onto the dirt behind her, "In the house!" She screamed out.

Sadie kicked the front door open allowing Tami a sure shot into the first man's chest. He fell into the one behind him causing enough disorientation that Tami could run to take cover. Abigail flipped a side table and slid to her knees peaking out to fire. A man's scream flowed into the air. Pink mist hung heavy in the air. Sadie rolled into the room on the right with a grunt.

Holes sprayed the walls behind them. Abigail twitched down against the flood of bullets, "At least six men!" She yelled.

"Better make those bullets count then!" Tami yelled back poking out of cover to shoot twice. The two bullets found a cozy home in the closest man's legs. The strange feelings of glee rose from the depths of Tami's numbness. In another world she would be holding a controller between cheeto dust covered fingers cheering at the kill. Why should this be any different?

Abigail rose from cover to give out another shot. Her victim fell into a glass vase shattering it and allowing water to pool amongst the rivers of blood that now stained the floor. Sadie poked her head out from the other room to fire off three rounds. Tami noticed a red stain stretching along her yellow shirt from her abdomen, but no bullet hole appeared.

Tami looked up only to rush back into cover as a bullet made the wooden chair she hid behind explode in splinters. With a shaky breath and a body full of adrenalyn she peaked out again firing blindly. A scream told her she at least hit someone.

"Kill those bitches!"

Abigail was forced to run towards Sadie as the men advanced leaving Tami alone. Her eyes scanned around her to see a closed door on her left, "This is gonna hurt." She growled lowly running full force. The handle twisted allowing her body to fling into the room. A single man stood with a shotgun pointed at her face.

"Good to see you again James."

"Knew we should have killed you." He hissed cocking the shotgun.

"Yeah, you should have." Tami lifted her leg kicking the barrel into the air. The window behind her shattered, ribbons of fabric tore from the curtains and fell around her. She lifted her revolver and shot only to hear a click.

James snarled at her rushing the woman on the ground holding the shotgun in his hands more like a baseball bat than a gun.

"Ever hear of the movie Kingsman Secret Service?" Tami asked with a raised eyebrow causing James to falter for a second.

"A fuckin' what?"

Tami pressed the ground with her right arm causing pain and the sound of her bones grinding against the broken pieces together. WIth her left arm she showed the barrel into his lower jaw and straight into his head, "I forgot, You folk use the term 'moving picture'."

James reeled in pain taking a step back and dropping his shotgun. Blood poured down his jaw. Shaky fingers tugged the metal until the gun slid out, "Wa' 'he puck."

"Gun got your tongue?" Tami gripped the handle of the knife in her boot giving a smirk, "That looked painful."

James growled and ran at her. Tami had never heard a man whine before. It was pathetic leaving his lips. The blade; however, bit into his abdomen like a hungry animal. Hot warm blood flowed over Tami's fingers, "Come closer." Tami grunted in pain using her right arm to pull James closer to the blade, "I have a secret."

Her lips touched James's ear while a rattle flowed through his lungs and out of his mouth, "I'm enjoying this a little too much." She grunted and pulled the blade up until his ribcage kept it from going furthur. Her feet stepped back allowing her to watch James fall to his knees. A strange pink object started to pour through the whole she had created. His hands covered his abdomen attempting to shove the organs back inside his own body.

"Now that is gross." Tami pointed her blade at his face.

"You're goin' 'o hew 'or 'iss." He whimpered in between breaths. Tami turned her head attempting to understand his words.

"What?"

The door in front of them busted open to expose Sadie holding her gun up. James grunted one last time slimping on his side. Drool mixed with blood painting the ground under him. Eyes staring blankly ahead of him.

"Where's your gun?' Sadie looked behind her quickly.

"Out of bullets, had to improvise." Tami lifted the knife in her hand.

"Take this." Sadie threw the revolver from her latest kill at Tami. The black haired woman dropped the knife and caught the gun in her left hand. This time she checked the bullets. Only three sat in the chamber.

"That I can do." Tami gave a toothy grin running to the stairs. Two men stood at the top shouting at her. She ducked against the rain of bullets and pulled her gun up. A thought came to her mind. A memory of training flashed briefly. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes and pulled the cold that snaked around her closer to her soul. When her eyes opened the world had turned red. Everyone moved slowly. White X's flashed onto the skull of the men at the top of the stairs. With a grunt the pushed the cold away from her in a sudden motion.

The world snapped into normal view her hand moved of its own accord. Pulling up at inhuman speed the trigger pulled and man slumped before she could even take another breath, "God, I missed focus."

"It's clear down here!" Sadie came out of a room covered in blood. She wiped her knife on her shirt and held her repeater in the other hand.

"Over here too." Abigail grit her teeth appearing from a closer room refilling her ammo.

"Only way left is up. You ready girls?" Tami asked. Sadie and Abigail approached the stairs clutching their guns with stern nods, "Let's go."

Sadie and Abigail followed Tami up the stairs closely. To their surprise no one else seemed to appear. Sadie kicked a nearby door open and scoped inside, "Nothin' here."

Abigail rushed the second door, "Same here."

Tami opened the last door and felt a weight push her against the wall. The revolver slipped from her fingers and rolled onto the floor. Catherine snapped her teeth at Tami in a rage. Tami pulled her head back and made direct contact with Catherine's face.

Catherine slumped to the ground holding her mouth while Tami stumbled around holding her forehead, "That works so much better when I'm not the one doing it." She hissed against the headache that formed behind her eyes.

"I don't think so." Sadie held her gun in Catherine's face, kicking the revolver away from the scrambling woman.

"You're too late. The brat is already on his way to Saint Denis." Catherine smiled from her bloody teeth. Abigail moved the butt of her gun to strike the woman.

"I have a better idea, let's string her up." Sadie offered with heavy frown.

Tami put a hand out and firmly pulled Abigail away. Her blue eyes locked with the woman, "You remember me?" She asked kneeling. Tami grabbed the womans face in her hand and laughed at the cold in her bones.

_"Hide him in the barn with the horses. We move him at night." Catherine ordered the man that held Jack in a tight grip._

"I saw where Jack is-"

"What did you see? Did you see anything at all? Fake Fortune Teller." Catherine cackled from where she lay in her own blood.

Tami used her fingerl the woman's chin up as Dutch did to her so many times before, "There will be a fire here. You must be careful. There will be a boy that you take. Don't, he will bring untold horror and death into this house." Catherine's eyes flashed in horror, "Remember those words?"

Abigail and Sadie took a step back watching Tami turn and pluck an unlit lantern from the wall.

"No... No please. He's in the barn... Please!" Catherine struggled to get up.

"Abigail, Sadie. I suggest you ladies go get Jack. I'll be there in a moment." Tami pulled the top off the lantern and poured it over Catherine, "How many people begged you? How many, Catherine?" Tami threw what was left of the lantern against the ground, "How much did Jack beg when you fucking took him?" Tami's hand wrapped around Catherine's throat. The cloud in her mind screaming for bloodshed grew into an impossible roar.

"Tami... don't." Sadie reached out.

"Leave her. Bitch deserves it." Abigail pulled Sadie's arm. Tami looked up to the other women.

"Don't judge me for this." She accepted the curt node from both women before they disappeared.

"Oh, you'll be judged girl. You'll burn in hell."

"You... People like you just take and take. You murder people for selfish gain." Tami threw a look into the corner reaching for the matches that lay on the dresser in it, "But I guess, I do as well now. I'll make you a deal." She knelt in front of the snarling old woman and lit a match, "I'll say hi when I see you down there."

Tami walked down the stairs allowing the heat from the flames behind her to warm her. Her boots stepped over the dead bodies lining the ground while she sauntered out of the house.

_"Do what you please. Steal what you'd like, take any man you could hold, speak whatever is on your mind. I am not against having strong character."_

The house groaned around her. Old wood and dry cloth lit quickly to feed the growing fire. Red and orange danced in an unholy way crackling its laughter through the old decrepit manor.

_"Was a rumor flowin' around for a while you were an angel, but that died out long ago."_

Glass shattered and beams fell. The entire house was caving in around her, yet Tami walked as calmly as if she were on a Sunday saunter through a forest. The sickening feeling of killing someone left her. It was them or her. She made the obvious choice, and now they couldn't hurt anyone again.

_"I've always heard stories of angels and demons. I guess I've never thought of it so deeply before. Watching such a 'godly' man such as Swanson flounder about hasn't quite made any impact with such things. However, I think I've seen one today. Of which side, I am unsure. It had deeply shaken me to see her standing there. Untouched, though she should be bleeding; unmarked, as if not from this world; and unnatural, she was not from a mother."_

Cowardice fell away from her, unraveling piece by piece. Her eyes trailed the now bubbling blood that line the hallway towards her exit. Dead bodies with lifeless eyes looking up at her. Instead of disgust or sadness at their death she felt a strange wire of joy. Not in the sense of celebration, but in the sense that they wouldn't hurt anyone ever again. Maybe she was a demon or angel. Maybe she was both.

_"We've been over this. They're just codes. They respawn and reset once the game is over. You need to stop changing are gang members, their not good people. They kill, lie, and steal from others. They suffer while you prance around."_

A smirk appeared on her lips. If only Mateo could see her now. Walking through the fire like a goddamn queen. Stepping over the dead bodies she helped create. Strength she didn't know she had roared to life along with the flames. Codes didn't bleed. Computers didn't beg for their life. This was real.

_"We were captured by the O'Driscolls. Tortured and beaten. Arthur was shot and I was... They took turns using me. Leaving me naked and tied up for Colm."_

**And for that they were all going to fucking pay.**

Sadie and Abigail watched the house counting the seconds. Sadie held onto the two spooked horses tightly while Abigail ran her fingers through a trembling Jack's hair. When Tami stepped out of the doorway their sighs of releif came heavily.

A loud snap came from behind Tami showering the ground im embers. The fire roared behind her. Blasting the air and waving in the sky behind her back as if they were wings of pure fire that sprouted. The feeling of fatigue and red hot pain finally took her forcing her onto her kneed in the dirt in front of the house. Bloodlust fading into a cold feeling.

"Come on, Let me..." Sadie pulled Tami and nearly drug the woman to the horses. Abigail held Jack against her while mounting her horse. Sadie pushed Tami rather ungracefully onto the back of her own horse.

"Ma, you're bleedin'." Jack reached for her ear.

"I'm fine Jack." Abigail cooed gently holding her boy as close as she could. Tami leaned against Sadie's back and felt the wind pick up. The smell of fire followed them long after they rode out towards camp.

"She will bring untold horror and death into this house." Sadie spoke suddenly. Her body vibrated with her voice.

"What?" Tami asked watching the ground run away beneath them.

"It's what you should have said."

Tami only hummed in response and tried to make sense of it. If they were going to save Jack all along, why had Arthur asked where she was when she told Catherine's fortune all those weeks ago? Everything was drawing into a puddled mess. She couldn't draw the lines close any longer. Knowledge escaped her to the point she was truly left in the void of the world.

* * *

Camp was already up in fury when the women arrived back. Tami fell into Charles's arms a little woozy. Her feet threatened to buckle underneath her.

"Be careful of her right arm. It's broken."

"Her cheek..."

Tami wasn't sure who was talking and didn't care too much. Her mind was finally playing the images of all of those dead eyes. The feeling of fresh blood washing over her body. The fear of death while rolling on the ground with a knife in her hand. With the return of her own emotions tears ran down her face while no sobs came from her throat. She was just too tired to cry.

"Go to her." Abigail's voice barely made its way to where Tami was stumbling with the help of Charles.

Two strong arms lifted her into the air. She didn't even have the energy to fight it, "Man, I should have told him to cut me on the other side, we could have really been twins." Tami gave weekly. John smiled down at her. It wasn't happy, nor did it reach his eyes. At the same time, she took comfort in his attempt to remain happy.

John helped lay Tami onto the nearly full wagon, "I just wanted to thank ya." He placed his right hand on her shoulder, "Know we share blood 'n all, but I wanted to say it. Jack he's safe cuz of ya."

"Sadie and Abigail too." Tami watched him with eyebrows raised. His left hand took the hat off his head and put it onto the crazy mess of black hair on her head.

"Come on John!" Arthur yelled, "Gotta go and clear the new camp site!"

"Give me a minute!" John shot back.

"I'm proud to call you a Marston." He spoke in a softer tone and gave her shoulder a firm pat. A bittersweet grin touched her lips.

"I'm proud to be one." Her voice wavered a little. John pulled her in with a gentle hug.

"You take care of her!" John ordered pointing at where Sadie and Charles sat on the drivers seats.

"Just get out there! Make it safe for us!" Tami yelled at his retreating form. She lay back and watch the clouds roll. Ghosts of gunshots and screams met her ears. Codes didn't scream, Computers didn't beg for their lives... Humans did.


	17. Do I Deserve Love?

Tami woke up to the sudden jolt from her nightmare. There wasn't much to remember. Just a picture of blackness and feeling of immense fear, but it was enough to stain her mind and made her heart race upon waking.

"Hello?" Her throat felt like dry paper. Someone moved towards her. The sound of boots on dirt and the moving fabric of clothing. Tami was too tired to move her head and see what was going on.

"Hey there. Wakin' up I see." Mary Beth's voice was gentle and sing song like. Flowing along with the sound of singing bugs and lapping water. Her gentle eyes met with the cloudy sleep fogged ones from Tami. She placed a tin cup to Tami's lips and tilted it forcing Tami to drink the bitter tea down. Once the cup was empty Mary Beth ran a hand through Tami's dirty locks.

"Bathroom?" Tami begged while attempting to sit up. Her mind swarmed. The familiar feeling of being high was strange to her in this time. It thrummed in her veins making her limbs a bit heavier to move.

"Take it easy." Her hand was on Tami's chest trying to get her to lay back down. Tami fought to sit up.

"Let me go. I need to..." Tami gasped in pain while attempting to use her right arm to push Mary Beth forward. The pain bit into her body hard, and the full bladder she had been desperate to empty somewhere else voided itself.

"Susan, Tilly... someone!" Mary Beth yelled out. Skirts sticking to her legs in the warm liquid as tears of shame began to fall down Tami's cheeks.

"What's goin' on?" Brush moved allowing Javier to appear from where he had been. Repeater held in hand from standing guard.

"I...I..." Tami tried to fight the swimming in her head but failed. She was already gone by the time her body hit the dirt again.

* * *

"Help me with her legs here. Don't be shy, she's just a woman."

Tami felt warm water splash over her. A whimper escaped her against the pressure on her cheek yet no pain came.

"Tami?"

She tried to open her eyes, but failed. Her mind was still swimming and whatever words she attempted to convey came out as slurred nonsense.

"I may have added too much Tonic and Snake Oil to the tea."

"She may be out for a while then."

Tami was confused yet found herself being pulled under again.

* * *

"Are you sure, Arthur?"

"Sure. She's a woman, I don't need it as much."

"That's mighty nice of you son. Truth be told I was under the thinkin' that she was your woman now."

"Ain't gonna go that far, Dutch."

Her eyes fluttered with great effort. Head swimming against the ache. The will to fight left her while the men's laughter seemed to grow further and further away.

* * *

"Surprised to see you here, Molly."

"Ain't a reason to be surprised, Abigail."

Someone was holding her hand gently in their own. She wanted to cry against the slight pain of her right arm being moved, but the weight on her body was just too much.

"Was just redressin' her cheek was all. Supposed I could just keep her some company."

"Well, I've brought her some more tonic and snake oil mixed with tea. Help me lift her head since you're here."

"She was still walkin' and talkin' when you all came back to camp. I just don't see how the morphine will do any good at this point."

"Adrenalyn will trick the mind and make the pain fade away. She woke up a few times on the wagon into camp hollerin' up a storm. Had to stop the back end of the caravan and get her some tonic and snake oil before she could rest. I'd bet she needs a few more days til she will be alright again."

The world shifted slightly. Something warm slid down her throat. Her muscles bunched to swallow from pure reaction.

"Sadie said there were some burns on her back."

"She walked right out of the fire. I'm right confused as to why they were so small. Two small burns on her shoulder blades. Healed up quicker than anythin' But left scars."

Tami wanted desperately to listen or say anything, but the tea wrapped its warm arms around her and pulled her back down into sleep.

* * *

"Heya Auntie Tami. Ma and Pa say you can wake up soon. Guess your arm is almost better..."

Tami wanted to reach out to him. Her fingers moving slowly to reach out. Eyes fluttering just enough to see daylight flowing through the window before snapping shut again.

"Brought you somethin' to make you nice an' pretty."

She wanted to smile as she heard the sound of Jack walking closer to her. A soft smell of flowers came to her.

"S'gettin' colder out so flowers are gettin' less... but I got you this. Your own flower necklace!"

He was so damn proud that Tami swore she could feel her lips twitch.

"Jack Marston, what are you doin'?"

"Just talkin' to Auntie Tami. Molly weren't here to keep her company."

"She won't heal with you botherin' her like this. Now come on..."

Tami's eyes finally opened. Her lips curled into a soft smile, "S'alright Abigail, I don't mind it."

Instead of some retort she was only met with silence. The soft shine of moonlight now met her eyes. In the corner a lantern bathed the room in it's orange light. A small chest sat besides a dresser topped with shelves. She recognized the room, but just barely. It looked different in the way it was decorated for her, but at the same time it still held it's small shape. Comfortable yet snug in all the right spots. Tami could feel the warmth radiating from the floors. Smell of smoke and food wafted towards her. Someone's laugh pierced the walls.

Tami turned to touch the wood with her feet only to find they were covered in socks. A string of cloth flew and tickled her nose. She reached up to tear it off wincing in pain as the gauze tore itself off of her cheek. It was covered in something slimy, but not even the speckled pink of blood. Her arm was wrapped in a rudimentary form. Her eyes looked over the splint and wondered why in the hell it was still even broken. Not the splint of course, but her arm. She barely remembered hearing of burns on her back and how they healed like magic, but left scars. The wound on her face and arm were still broken. Her mind twisted at why.

For the first time in a long time she looked for her phone. Her hand flipped her pillow and blankets while a slow panic filled her. Tami cursed and looked for an outlet hoping it was still plugged in... that was until the lantern popped and reminded her the orange light came from a flame and not electricity. Her left hand balled. Mind still scrambled under whatever was coursing through her veins.

"Hey there." He leaned in the doorway his tan face looked darker in the shadows cast around him, head shaved completely bald. Blue eyes shimmered under the orange light. His smile looked forced and sad.

"Mateo." She breathed and raced towards him, holding him as tightly as she could without pain.

"They told me what you did when I returned. Almost didn't get a welcome back. Micah, Davey and I were out being reckless as usual. Tore up a town up north past the state line. Didn't even know we could go that far. It wasn't in the games. Not even glitching out of bounds. There were people and towns. I... I got stabbed up there. It healed just fine. In seconds in fact. Then a gunshot. I healed just fine, but then just a week ago I fell off my horse. We were coming back to camp got word that your stunt pushed moving camp to an earlier time. It was just a small fall, Tami. But tore the shit out of my knee. It still isn't fully healed. Even with tonic. I don't even know what's going on anymore."

"It's all changing, Mateo. It's not just a game anymore. It's becoming real somehow. Arthur's actually feeling lust somewhat. We uh... we..."

Mateo rose his eyebrows and pulled the door shut making a hand gesture for her to move back into the room. Tami stepped back and sat on the creaky bed.

"It's not in the programming for Arthur to feel any sort of lust or love in a romantic way. Honestly, if we had placed you in the game in the true way instead of testing you out for a while and you finding your way into the gang before Blackwater you would have completely replaced Arthur. You're character would have had a similar backstory to his. Dutch found you and raised you blah blah blah. That way you could still be the main character. You and Arthur side by side was never supposed to happen."

Mateo scratched the back of his head. He sat on the wood and took a deep breath. Tami reached out and placed her left hand on his shoulder.

"I've lost my ability to talk to the outside a long time ago. Filled the void with booze and fighting. It's so easy to get swept up in it... The unchecked violence I can commit with little to no recourse. They talked to me last night... the computers. It was both terrifying and comforting. They took pleasure in ripping everything they could from my mind. They want us here, we can't ever go back. We can't escape this. Our bodies are still fine up there, but our minds are stuck in here."

Tami gripped his shoulder tightly. Her lips pulled into a thin line.

"We can still get out, Mateo. We can still leave." She whispered shaking his shoulder.

"Only if you don't... we don't mess up the script any more than we have to. You want to have Arthur love you, fine. What's done is done, but in the end he needs to die." Mateo rose to one knee and grabbed her shoulders tightly in his hands.

"No I..." Tami shook her head vigorously.

"He needs to die, Tami. He doesn't have tuberculosis. Thomas Downes died by a wolf attack long ago. The computers told me you killed him by proxy with a pack of wolves that were chasing you, did you know that? We have to let Micah kill him. That or take care of him ourselves when the time came. We have to put him down a path of low honor so that he dies and we can leave." Mateo looked her in the eyes and sighed.

"That's murder, Mateo." Tami hissed lowly.

"It's not murder, it's a game. He's not a man, but a code." Mateo's eyes shifted as he spoke.

"Do you even believe that anymore?" Tami asked softly. He kept silent and sat back down. She pulled at the thin nightgown. Her head spun like crazy forcing her to lie down again.

"The real reason I came to see you was to give you this, but you were awake and I just babbled." Mateo pulled the necklace out of his pocket, "Listen, I'm sorry for what I said. I was angry and desperate. I didn't know what you had already gone through. We had only seen a little bit here and there. I didn't know this all got to your head. It's so much easier to slip into the thinking that this is real than I would have ever thought. It was real, Tami. In this place and time it felt real, it was real. And you didn't deserve it. I'm sorry for thinking the way that I did. And I know that sorry isn't enough, but I really am" He stood to let the necklace pool onto the table next to her.

"But this reality isn't ours. We don't belong here, and we need to go home. Just think about it." He pulled the covers over her with a soft smile, "Sean survived because of you. I don't know who you told or what you said, but he's alive and as annoying as ever."

"Course he is, Maybe he should have died. Davey is suffering..."

"I wouldn't say that. He was talking about how food was tasting great again around the same time you pointed out we need to void ourselves now. He's changed a bit though. Micah isn't happy about it. Davey talks about his second chance at life. All good guy and that shit." Mateo watched as Tami's eyes grew heavy. Her blinks became slower and lagged. Energy fading inside of her.

"I don't know if I'll be here when you wake up, but if I am. Come find me. I miss talking with someone who isn't confused when I say something like Google." His laugh faded away as she fell back into sleep.

* * *

Morning came with the sound of wind. A light rainstorm raged outside painting the air with the sweet smell of fall showers. It was a beautiful way to wake up. Tami sure thought so. Even against the pain of her head and arm mixed with a dry mouth.

"Arthur! There you are."

"Good mornin' Abigail."

"John and I are heading into Saint Denis today with Jack. Takin' him to his first show."

"I hope you all have fun. Just gettin' back and lettin' Dutch know the job went smoothly."

"Oh good, so you ain't busy then?"

"What are you gettin' at?"

"Well, we have to leave close to now really. Mary Beth and Tilly are busy with chores, normally Molly don't mind takin' up breakfast but..."

"Breakfast?"

"Well, Tami hasn't really woken up all week. We have to kind of force feed her soup in the mornin's. We've been slowly pulling back on the tonics. Guess she hasn't taken them a lot, their effecting her heavily."

Tami stood up and slowly walked to the window. Her eyes watched the drops of water rolling down the smooth glass. A gut dropping feeling entered her body. A whole week? She had been out a whole week?

"Sure, I don't mind. You two keep dry on your way out."

Tami's heart beat erratically. She slipped back into her bed and shifted under the covers against the dull pain in her right arm. The steady pounding of her heart echoed in her eardrums. She hoped she could just fall back to sleep. Feelings from days and weeks before surrounded her. His hand against her throat. The pure bliss from having him inside of her. The low animalistic growl from his lips to her ear.

_Truth be told I was under the thinkin' that she was your woman now._

_Ain't gonna go that far, Dutch._

It did hurt a little bit. Somewhere deep inside of her she wished she could be the one to whisk the ever famous character, Arthur Morgan, for her own romantic ways. Possibly for the bragging rights. She doubted many if any of the girls aside from Abigail could say they've lain with him. A pit of jealousy formed in her gut. If she thought about it long enough it wouldn't too far of the stretch to think he had taken her into a bed like a proper couple. Tami's fists clenched while she tried to push it from her mind. Growing angry over a computer codes made up history? How pathetic of her.

Creaking interrupted her warring mind. The smell of venison stew met her nose making her nearly groan with the hunger in her belly. Boots slowly drug on the ground with the slight sound of squish from being wet. She turned to see him bending over the old table setting a small rusted platter down. Hands moving to grab one of the bowls.

"Good morning, if it's still morning that is." He jarred suddenly at the sound of her voice. She held in the snicker of watching a grown man get startled. Green eyes looked down at her from where he stood.

"Almost noon." Was all he offered. The bowl in his hands was warm when she took it from him. To her disappointment it was clear that the only thing in her bowl was stew. Not even a slice of carrot or onion. It would make sense though. If she were still asleep they would want as little chance of her choking as possible.

Tami noticed the splint on her right arm and held it closer for inspection while keeping the bowl upright. Her skin was bruised heavily, but healing somewhat. Brown and purple sat beside ugly blue and yellow coloring in her skin. The pain wasn't as bad as before, but it still throbbed when she used it.

"You made quite an entrance." He pulled the chair from the table and motioned for her to turn her face. The skin on her cheek pulled lightly while his fingers gently worked the gauze away, "Covered in blood the way you were. We all thought you had gotten shot or worse."

"What's worse than getting shot?" Tami asked lightly. Her eyes were trained on the stew. Fighting the urge to just slam it like a shot of alcohol while Arthur worked away at her cheek.

"What almost happened on the ledge..." His voice was softer than she ever imagined it could be. She looked from the corner of her eye to see the lines of age show in the way he held his face. Ghosts haunting his eyes like two soulless black circles around the green orbs of his eyes. Arthur was a strong man with a giant wall, but he was still a man. He still felt fear and pain. Tami's eyes dropped as she tried to remember that. It was af if Mateo was on one shoulder reminding her Arthur was just a simulation while she was on her other shoulder begging herself to see Arthur as a man.

"If you want to talk about it. I think I'm ready to." Tami offered in a whisper.

"You don't need a new dressin'. Healed pretty nicely from what I know." He sat back. Mask sliding back into place as if nothing had happened a moment before. She stiffened a bit as Mateo snarked from her shoulder. _Codes don't feel._

"Maybe another time. Right now you need to eat." He patted her shoulder. _He's not just a code._ Tami's miniature self on her shoulder snapped at Mateo with a smirk.

Tami on the other hand paid little mind to the bickering imaginary morality figures. Instead she pulled the bowl to her lips and started drinking heavily. Slurping and groans filled the room. Her empty stomach cheered at the shower of gifts it received. It grumbled and bubbled while working away at the liquid. When the bowl was empty and she placed it on her knees, she caught the smirk from Arthur's face.

"What?" She licked her lip. He leaned towards her.

"Got somethin'... here." His thumb ran across her chin and over her lips. Tension started to build at his touch. Like an electric snap the warmth radiated between them. No bite of cold, but simple emotions barreling forward. Without much thought her lips pursed together to kiss the calloused thumb.

"I ain't a good guy." He spoke as if trying to convince himself of something, yet his hand didn't move. The rest of his fingers curled to cup her chin.

"I'm not much of a saint anymore." Tami responded reaching up to wrap her fingers around his, "Even big bad wolves deserve love."

"I don't." He slipped his hand away from hers and turned to watch the rain paint the window in droplets.

"Why do you say that?" She quirked her head and leaned forward, "I truly want to know. You have this mindset that you're just this terrible human being. Why? You protect your own in the only way you know how."

"I kill people. I've made widows. Made women watch as their men were slaughtered in front of them. You haven't been here long." Arthur bit out, "I'm an outlaw..." Stew met his spoon and lips quickly to silence whatever he was going to say next.

Tami shifted on her bum and pulled her nightgown over her knees, "So is Dutch and John. You think Tilly and Mary Beth deserve the be alone because they are thieves. How about Lenny? Him and Jenny were in love and they both did bad things too." She leaned back and stared at the hard lines of his face forming, "What about me?"

He stopped chewing and looked to her from the corner of his eye.

"I killed out of anger. Killed for Jack... sure. But I also burned that house to the damn ground. Covered the woman in oil and lit her up. Listened to her screams and I still don't feel bad about it." Tami's left hand trailed up her broken arm, "Do I deserve love?"

She swallowed her fear and looked directly into the eyes that watched her, "Do I deserve you?"

"I don't think you're in your right mind." Arthur's voice remained as cool as he could.

"Tell me, cowboy... Do I?" She stood up and moved to her trunk, digging through it lazily.

The squeak that left her throat was involuntary. His hands gripped her hips and pulled her back onto him. She hadn't even heard him stand.

"Do you know what you're askin'?" One of his hands came to her throat and wrapped around it. The grip wasn't the need from the night at the Carnival. It was harsh. His fingers dug into her soft skin at nearly painful angles. Like the fool she was, Tami didn't feel fear.

"I could snap your neck so easily. Done it a hundred times before, could do it now just as easily." His lips brushed her ear, "Just a pull this way..." His fingers touched her chin and nudged it to the right. A strange feeling came over her. The sick feeling of enjoyment. It was a mixture of arousal and fear. He was right. He could snap her so easily, yet he didn't. In some way it petted her ego and stoked her kinked images of dirty rough sex.

"Then do it. Show me the big bad wolf you really are. Scare me away." Tami taunted. She knew she shouldn't play with fire, but something inside of her awakened and cackled madly at the thought of taunting the person who held her very life in his hands.

His fingers moved back to her throat, thumb brushing the trail of her collarbone, and lips breaking hot air into her ear. It was growing to be too much. The heat, danger, and strength that radiated off of him pulsed through her veins. The warning bells in her mind grew foggy under her addiction to the adrenalyn that coursed through her. She was almost alert enough to pull away from him until his lips touched the exposed shoulder. Pulling her back the way he had forced the fabric down over her shoulders a little. Her head lulled to the side to allow the softness of his lips and scratchy beard more access.

"Do you have the faintest idea what you're doin'?" He asked against her skin, "The game your playin' ain't a safe one." She nearly laughed at how true his words were.

"I like breaking rules." She whispered back hoping it sounded as badass aloud as it sounded in her head.

"No shit." He chuckled pulling away from her leaving her dizzy and suffocating under his scent. She nearly whined at the loss of attention from him as his hand slinked away from her.

"I'm not asking for some sort of commitment. Not asking for marriage or a family." Her words nearly hurt as she spoke them. Even if she had wanted those things with him they wouldn't happen, "Just want you. In the worst of ways."

"Tami I-"

The door swung open, "Oh good! Arthur, Sean's lookin' for you. Said somethin' about a job and it bein' urgent." Tami could almost kill Karen.

"Give me a damn minute, Haven't even eaten yet." Arthur spoke a bit harsher than needed.

"I see, Tami. Why don't you get dressed and come down so we can-"

"Would you just..." Tami closed the door with a sigh. Her teeth gritted at the sound of Karen chuckling behind the door.

"We can continue this later." Arthur sniffed and sat to finally descend into his meal in some sort of peace.

"Of course." Tami sighed and started dressing clumsily. Her eyebrows knitted together in slight frustration. Both at herself for allowing her words free, and at Karen for interrupting whatever he was going to say. Once she opened the door to go down stairs she stopped to look back at Arthur. Her head tilted to the side as she watched his tired muscles move. Even if he wasn't sick, he was still pushing himself past his limit. It was almost heartbreaking to know everything he was doing was only going to end in death. In those he loved, in his way of live, and even his own gang. Tami licked her bottom teeth.

"I ain't sayin' I love you, Big Bad Wolf..." He looked up when she spoke, "Don't know you well enough to love you... but... I... I trust you. Even with all your walls and spikes, you make me feel safe. This isn't the life for most people, and before I was here myself, I didn't think it was the life for me. If there was one thing I would do over and over again, it would be to meet you." Before he could reply and what little bravery she grabbed within herself broke Tami bolted out of the room and down the stairs.

Tami almost felt like a schoolgirl writing a messy note to a crush and hiding in the bathrooms while he read it. She almost wanted to rewind time and just say something snarky, but time didn't work that way. Knowing what she knew, and the fact this was her only chance at anything like this Tami was a little glad she couldn't take the words away. Two things would happen now. They would live happily ever after, or he would push her away fully. In the end he would die and she would go home. At least there was a chance at some sort of love story to play out. Even if it was for only a little while.


	18. A Savior In Spirit, Only

"The shepherds lost... and his home is far, keep to the stars... the dawn will come..." Tami leaned back onto the log and sang her little heart out. If it was one thing she missed from her old life it was music. Being able to lay alone in a dark room with a pair of headphones and an overplayed playlist on her phone. Frogs croaked around them in the night. FIreflies played in the shadows under the trees. Water licked lazily at the banks causing the soft sound of waves. Her soul bleed in memory of another favorite game. She could barely remember what it looked like, but almost felt the ghost of the other voices as she sung. The tune always struck her in both an eerie yet peaceful way.

"Bare your blade and raise it high, stand your ground... the dawn will come..." Sadie clasped her hands together and let a smile grow over her lips. Javier expertly picked out the melody of the song and slowly plucked along with her voice. Dutch stood towards the edge of the light from the fire. His form being bathed in light and shadow alike, eyes watching Tami sing away. Charles leaned against a tree holding his rifle in his watch tapping the tips of his fingers against the wooden handle. Tilly leaned into Mary Beth, both with sleep brimming in their eyes. Susan had stopped what was left of clearing the dishes from the evening meal to listen. Arthur had taken a seat next to her, but left enough distance to keep from touching, yet even he was watching her. The fire snapped and crackled to life between the few who were still awake at this hour.

"Look to the sky... for one day soon... the dawn will come." Tami let the sound die in her throat gracefully. She knew she wasn't the best of singers, but the words really struck with her at the moment. The world felt a lot calmer than it had for weeks. Since before Blackwater even. The world; however, would not silence itself after her finish. The frogs continued to croak, water continued to lap, and fireflies continued to dance. It was a soft reminder that the world would continue to spin and live even if you would not. It was one of the moments that truly stuck to Tami's soul. Reminding her this was real made her joyful in some ways. In others it saddened her to know that no matter how real any of this was, it was not her world to live in.

"That was mighty pretty." Susan was the first to break the silence. Tami looked up to the older woman and softened at the eyes. The older woman had avoided her like the plague after the first time Dutch had yelled at her for bothering Tami. Susan was never being cruel, and in her own way was trying to fit Tami into the fold. It was hard to see it then, but it was easier to see now. After the many times Susan had patched her up now. Taking command in the times Tami needed her most.

"Yeah, never heard that one before." Tilly added softly.

"Feel like it fits us right now." Dutch spoke firmly. The commitment in his tone broke the soft layer of peace between everyone as if only the sound of his voice reminded everyone that their way of life was growing far more precious than before.

"It was a song from a place a long way from here. A group of people sang it after they had been attacked. Their home had been destroyed, but the warriors, rogues, and mages did their best to keep the attackers at bay long enough for them to escape. They rose together in the middle of nowhere with little food and no home and grew stronger..." Tami lifted a gentle smile towards Dutch, "But I think you're right. It fits us very well right now."

Everyone let the tension relax into relative silence once again. Javier started to slowly pluck a soft tune once again. It was a comfort, and Tami felt at home. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat at knowing this would be one of the last good times everyone would be together.

A hand gently touched her shoulder, "Can I talk to ya?" She looked into the darkness to see a tousled head of red hair.

"Of course Sean, I-"

"Jacks missing!"

The camp lit up as if someone had thrown fire onto the ground. Lamps were turned on, and candles lit. Micah, Davey, and Mateo came from their shared tent while Bill ran down the path from his guard post behind the barreling wagon that John drove. Abigail was a utter mess. Karen jumped out from where she had been leaning in her own guard post. Tami was quick to note an appearance from Uncle and Reverend. Two of the camp dwellers she had little to no interaction up until this point.

"We gotta go and find him Dutch... somewhere in Saint Denis. We were turned for just a second and..."

Tami clutched at her chest watching then men surround the wagon. She had failed. The script found a way to mend itself. Of course it would, how could she be so stupid.

"Calm down Abigail. Susan! Would you please help Abigail back into her room!"

Tami flinched at the break in Dutch's voice. Susan lept into action assuming the motherly role. Her arms surrounded Abigail like a large protective blanket and shuffled her into the house. Tilly and Mary Beth scurried behind waiting on their own instructions. Sadie stood and strolled to Tami. Both women watched the men attempt to gather what was going on.

"You know where he is, don't you?" It was less of a question, but Tami answered Sadie all the same.

"Damn right I do. It wasn't supposed to happen. We stopped it, I swore we stopped it." Tami bit her lower lip in a mixture of rage and confusion.

"You can't stop fate." Mateo walked to the other side of Tami and crossed his arms, "Thought you of all people would know that, _Destiny_. It will find a way."

"How do you know that I know where he is?" Tami questioned looking at Sadie.

"You talked during your fever on the way to camp. Kept begging something that everyone would be alright, that Jack wouldn't get captured like you know he was going to." Sadie nodded to where Charles stood listening to John talk, "Charles heard it too, but the shape you were in... We knew you didn't have anythin' to do with it. All the same we kept it quiet. Not everyone in camp is as mindful about your ability. They just keep quiet about it cuz of Dutch."

John broke free from Tami and offered his hand to her, "Please. I know you can do it, Tami. Show me, Please." She met his eyes and placed her lips together in a fine line. Fingers coiled around each other allowing the cold bite to come into her veins. Once again it was different than anyone else.

_Bronte's mansion stood tall and proud. Tami and John, in the same body once again, opened the gates and slowly made their way up the stairs. _

**_Where are we?_**

_John's voice echoed in the air. He lifted their shared arm to see it bent and deformed as if it were Tami's broken arm pulled from it's splint. Tami reached up and felt their face. The scars on the right side of John's face was prominent. It was af if they had been mixed and pushed into this together._

**_In Saint Denis, where Jack is._**

_Tami turned their head around to look down the cobblestone streets. Lights lined it, yet not a single soul was there. John took control forcing his way inside making Tami feel nauseous. The mansion was fairly quiet at the time of night. A few voices came from up the stairs slowly at first._

_"Where's Ma and Pa?"_

_"Oh, I'm sure they will be here in the next few days. For now you need a bath, you stink like a horses ass."_

_"That's not nice."_

_"I'm sorry little one, I didn't mean to offend you."_

**_JACK!_**

**_Goddamnit_ ****_ John! Not so loud, He can't hear us anyway._**

_Tami grew confused. Why would Bronte go after Jack on his own? He was only supposed to find out about the Van Der Linde's after he bought Jack from the Braithwaites._

**_I can hear your thoughts._**

_John pointed out suddenly making Tami grow weary of his anger._

**_Not mad, just confused is all._**

**_I saw it._**

**_I know you're liein'. I can feel it._**

_Tami attempted to separate her mind from John's, but was only met with pain. She had an idea. She really did see it. Just not in the way John or anyone would suspect. His voice grew quiet as he focused on attempting to climb the stairs, but something blocked them both. A hot pain entered their mind. The snap of blue and green lights flew in front of their eyes._

**This is not for you to see, LEAVE.**

John and Tami shook and recoiled from each other. John quickly touched over his body and stretched his right arm. Tami touched the right side of her face only to find it smooth. Sweat beaded on their foreheads. Blood started to trickle out of John's nose. Tami touched her own to feel nothing. She wondered just how long she had been able to use her ability and not suffer as badly from it. Perhaps it ended long ago and she hadn't noticed. The fact startled her.

"Well?" Dutch asked raising an eyebrow at the panting duo.

"A man named Angelo Bronte has him... We don't know why." Tami shook under the sudden feeling of fatigue. Her legs threatened to buck from under her.

"Drink this." Mateo appeared to her side and offered a nearly empty bottle of tonic.

"I'm not in pain." She spoke shaking her head. Mateo leaned in closer to place his lips on her ear.

"I know you're not, but they've been force feeding you this shit for days. In our time it would be illegal to do any sort of drugs, but they've been pumping you up on cocaine and morphine. You need to inch off of the stuff. Addiction is a real threat now." He watched her take the bottle and swallow the rest down quickly.

"We need to get him Dutch. We know where he is-" John stepped forward offering his hands up.

"I agree with you John, look I really do. But a whole bunch of men storming Saint Denis in the middle of the night will alert the law. It would be best for us to go in the morning." Tami interrupted him.

"You're not goin'." Arthur pointed at her.

"Yes I fucking am. I know where he's at and I can lead you to him the fastest. You'll draw eyes looking under every brick and shadow for a rich man like that." Tami stepped forward but nearly lost her balance. Already weak and with the influence of Tonic in her veins, Tami's world shifted under her once again.

"I saw it too. You need to rest. Almost got yourself killed last time you went after Jack." John stepped forward. Mateo slipped into the crowd of men, Karen, and Sadie gathered around. Tami looked to the small gathering of the gang and back to John and Arthur. Standing shoulder to shoulder with arms crossed and faces set in a stern way.

"You've already done your part. None of us could live with ourselves if you got hurt any worse." Dutch offered kindly from where he stood by the wagon.

"Y'all are assholes... Someone... Just help me to bed." An arm wrapped around her middle while a second one pulled her left arm over his shoulder. She grumbled lowly into John's chest. His chuckle raced through his form. John carefully lead her into the house followed closely by Arthur.

"Sure, we're the assholed for not wanting you to break somethin' else." John sighed pulling her up the stairs. Abigail's quiet sobs coupled with the soft whispering of the other women met their ears.

"Go on John, I got it from here." Arthur nudged the younger man out of the way and placed his hands where John's were a moment before. He glared at the places where Arthur's fingers met her skin.

"It's alright John... Abby needs you." Tami smiled at him softly. She could feel his brash nature craft itself into a protective vortex that threatened to break the peace of the moment.

"I don't like how much time you're spendin' with him. It's indecent." John sniffed.

"John, we-"

"Seems like I'm the one making sure she's alright more than you are. Keep on, John. You ain't in any position to talk about indecent." Arthur barked out. His finger dug into her skin pulling at her like a slice of meat. John reached for her at the same time.

"Stop it-"

"No way. I ain't gonna let you ruin her like you did Mary." John gripped Tami's left arm and tugged hard.

"Like you have any right... boy." Arthur gripped Tami a bit harder causing her to grunt out in pain. Neither of the men reacted as if she existed right then. It was only the two of them flexing their power and anger at one another. If they were animals someone would have died, "Abigail gave birth to your son, and how did you react? Runnin' off like a scared child for nearly two years. Surprised she even welcomed you back at all."

"At least my woman and child are alive." John spit out. Tami felt the pain first. The savage way Arthur had thrown her to the ground cracked her backside and slammed her skull into the ground. On top of her already fragile state and the drugs in her system, she lost grip on her reality and could only focus on the pretty stars that danced circles in her vision.

A combined sound of fists hitting bare skin, curing, and wood groaning broke the air heavily. Tami felt someone grabbing at her face. A woman's voice attempted to break into the fog. Someone toppled in the fight. Their body pressed against hers while a second weight seemed to add onto it. She couldn't even catch her breath at the angle in which they were on top of her. Dutch's voice roared above the rest of the noise causing her to flinch.

"I know you are upset John, I would be too. Right now ain't a time to fight with each other. Susan get John into his room, Arthur you take Tami to bed. Separate yourselves and act like the men I raised you to be!" His voice was looming with confidence and authority. Even Tami flinched under the weight of his tone, hanging her head as if she had done something wrong.

"Tell John to watch himself." Arthur growled out.

"I should watch myself... you-"

Tami forced herself to stand. Her hand gingerly wrapping around Arthur's arm, using him for support. She turned her blue eyes to meet John's, "Go, John."

His brow furrowed and mouth opened to give a remark, "Get some rest, Jack is gonna need you bright and early in the morning. Both of you." John bowed his head and let Susan pull his arm back.

Tami pushed past Arthur and into her room shutting it with a click behind her. She didn't want him to follow her. Anger boiled inside of her. Arthur could have left well enough alone and desculated the situation, or simply walked away. John was in pain. A lot of pain. He was going to lash out at anything and everything that he could. A small part of her wished Arthur would follow her, but knew that he wouldn't.

After changing into a nightgown she just was watching out through her window. Jornal laying open after weeks of not being used at all. She was currently trying to list off things in her true world. Trying to remember what was reality or not. The words were sloppy due to the broken nature of her dominate arm, but she pressed on. In the late hours of the night she still only had a small list.

Hot showers/Plumbing systems Phone/Date/Time/News Electricity ...

Tami didn't have any friends back home. Her need for isolation had cut off what little contact she had with others. It was easy to pretend to have friends when you post on social media. Heart eyed emojis coupled with the constant "We should hang out sometime." never pulled through. She didn't have a family to go home to, nor a pet. Tami was finding it harder and harder to finish her list. She turned a page and started a new list of things she would miss in this world.

Fresh food No distractions Constant company/Loyalty of those around her Family atmosphere/ John (even if our relation isn't real) Riding horses Freedom No bills/taxes Arthur...

Tami grit her teeth against how easy it was to list off these things and shut her book with a groan. Her fingers worked to open the window and let some cold air in to help ease the suffocating feeling inside of her. Like every night she could pick out the soft song Javier played. Her cheek rested on her hands while she listened. Frogs croaked along with the melody. An owl called out into the night as well as if singing along. Fireflies buzzed on top of swampy waters. It was a small slice of paradise that was rare in her own time.

Large cities destroyed the very nature around them. Electricity gave a constant buzz even at pollution of their very nature destroying the animals and homes in which they lived. Sure there was country side, but you wouldn't gallop across it freely like now. Everything that was off the path of a road was fenced off. If you wanted the freedom to fly across land it was only if you had bought it. Paths and parks would be populated with others that wanted to escape the nature of the city's. Trash and random people would interrupt a peaceful walk meant to give you a sense of being one with nature. If you weren't rich you were screwed. Tami rubbed her temples. It was just so simple here.

The time was far from perfect. Women's suffrage hadn't even happened yet. She was lucky to be among a group that let her live so freely. Racism was still alive and well. Slurs were thrown about freely making her flinch at them. Tilly, Lenny, Javier, and Charles suffered the worst of it, she knew. They were strong despite it, but it still hurt knowing that her time was different. They wouldn't have to suffer as they did. It was far from perfect and balanced as it should be, but it was a little better at least.

Every time, every society, and every slice of human life was filled with misery of one sort or another. In a selfish way, Tami was glad to be here and now. Though she was sat with a broken arm, burn scars on her shoulder blades, and a nearly healed cheek; she felt at home more here than anywhere else. It sickened her to know that a game created by a studio filled the hole in her soul than her own world. Hurt her to know that she would have to go back.

"Can't sleep either?" Tami looked down to see Arthur on a path to the side of the house. He held something long in his hands. It perched on his shoulder with a small line hanging from it.

"Hell of a time to go fishing." She replied standing to lean out of the window a little more.

"Was growin' restless just layin' there tryin' to sleep." He shrugged in the darkness of the night, "Got another pole if you wanna come."

A tight smile pulled at her lips, "Stuck on a boat in the middle of the night with you?" She laughed softly, "What would the camp think."

"That... we... went fishin'?" Arthur's confused tone was amusing to her.

"Gimmie a second to get dressed." She relented after a stalemate of silence between the two. He shuffled back the way he came to presumably get another pole for her.

Once she hastily threw on a heavier black dress for the cold, Tami slipped her boots on and towards the stairs. John sat on the top stap with his chin in his hand.

"What are you doing awake at this hour?" Tami asked holding her fingers together like a child caught sneaking out.

"I can feel you... when you talk to him." John placed his hands together and leaned back to look over her, "I ain't gonna lexture ya, but I want you to be careful. Much as I don't wanna admit it, you could do a lot worse than Arthur."

Tami felt her lips quirk upwards at John's words. It had been a while since he admitted being able to feel her. Most times he tried to ignore it, as she did. Trying to give eachother a sense of privacy even though there was none. She still remembered the night she woke up to feel sudden arousal and sexual tension due to John and Abigail laying together. That was a memory she tried to forget. There was limits to being able to sense and feel each other. Large distances broke their link as if it were a radio channel that grew fuzzy with enough distance.

"You don't need to be so protective." She teased softly.

"Do I? Lost you once when we were kids. I know Arthur was the one who chased you out of camp the first time. Jus' don't want him doin' it again." John rubbed the palms of his hands together bowing his head, "He's a good guy, but still an outlaw like all of us."

"Whatever purity you wanted me to keep is gone by now, John." Tami's chest felt hollow when she said it out loud. He caught her eyes and looked into them hard for a long time.

"I know." He shifted to the aide to let her down the stairs. While he was a giant asshole, John could still be kind and soft. She appreciated that in him. It made her wish she could have truly grown up side by side with him. Have little inner secrets and jokes. Memories they could laugh or mourn together. In that place was this connection and sense of duty to one another. His inner turmoil mixed with her own causing her to feel even more hopeless than before. She supposed he felt the same way, face buried in his hands the way they were.

"John?" She called once she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah?"

"Wanna go fishing with Arthur and me?" She asked. She heard a soft laugh before his reply.

"I would kill him right 'bout now if I saw him." That was the end of it. Tami pulled her lips together and walked on.

"You have to be nicer to John." Arthur leaned against the house with a lit cigarette. Two poles lay on the ground next to him.

"Don't hafta do nothin'." He grumbled back. Tami watched the end of the cigarette radiate it's red light in the dark of the night.

"You two act like young spoilt boys." She reached down to grab the poles from the ground, but faltered when Arthur gripped her left upper arm tightly.

"He brought up somethin' that didn't need bringin' up." Arthur nearly snarled.

"You gave a low blow first. John's a mess, but wont fucking admit it. His boy is gone, Arthur and all you could do was say he was a shit father." Tami hissed in pain, "He lashed out in pain, you took the bait. Could've acted your age and kept it somewhat civil, but no you had to go and flex your big galexy brain alpha complex."

"I'm sure there was an insult in there somewhere knowin' you." He let go of her arm and took another deep puff of his cigarette, "Bit more aggressive than normal I'd have to say. Normally you'd start with a hello or thank you for being invited out. Not waltzin' out like you own the whole damn world."

"Feel like you at least owe me a bit here." Tami waved her hand in the air. He chuckled darkly in the back of his throat.

"I don't owe you a damn thing." He stood up straight, throwing what was left of the red glow in his hand onto the ground, "If you keep thinkin' the world owes you a single thing you're sore wrong. It's vicious and cruel just like us."

"Wolves fight each other, but even they don't kill their own pack, Arthur. John's your brother, and if not that, your friend." She reached out tentatively to touch his shoulder, "What he said was wrong. I ain't gonna say he was in the right. I would tear him a new one too, but his son is out there somewhere and not here. Jack is gone, Arthur. Even you gotta feel something in that."

"Even me, huh..." He stepped away from her into the shadows of the night.

"That's not what I meant." Tami stuttered trying to regain what was said.

"Oh I'm sure it weren't." He shook his head.

"You've got a heart of steel and a head to match." Tami tried desperately to keep her composure, but the feeling of hopelessness inside of her mixed with anger bubbled into her mind. Hot fat tears came down the sides of her face, "It's breaking my heart to see you so callous about all this."

"Told you I weren't a good guy. You don't have to go on pretendin' to enjoy my company." Arthur nearly reached out to comfort her, but kept his distance.

"Oh no, I enjoy your company maybe a bit too much. You know for a second I swore I loved you. Maybe I was just in love with the thought of loving you. Didn't even want to admit it myself, but you were right. You always are, Morgan." Tami clapped her hands together and winced at the pain, "Guess I was the one who was wrong. The Big Bad Wolf tried to eat Little Red anyway. He probably didn't even have a heart."

She took a step back and turned on her heel to return inside, "Enjoy your fishin', Arthur."

* * *

Mateo shook her hard forcing her to wake up and face the morning air with a head bursting at the seams and dry mouth to match. He offered her a tin cup and gentle smile.

"What is it?" Tami asked with bleary eyes.

"Drink it." He placed it in her hands, "Tea mixed with a bit of Tonic. You should be able to wean off of it in the next few days."

"Yeah..." She sat up rolling her shoulders. The tea made its way down her throat and she was on her feet soon after. The black dress was still on from the day before so whe simply brushed her crazy black hair and called it done.

"Just wanted you to know, Arthur left this for you." Mateo waved a note in front of her face, "Look at that, all sealed and everything like a real letter."

"Ugh, snail mail is sooo 20th century." Tami snarked taking the letter from him. He smirked taking the tin cup away.

"Boys left early this morning to get Jack. Left me to take noon watch. Can you believe it?" Mateo watched her tear at the letter unceremoniously.

"Excited are we?" She asked with a smirk.

"Not really, I get to stand in this musty cold for hours with a gun. Just stand there. Don't even have a phone or player to use music." He watched her face grow into that of surprise and gasp leave her lips, "Let me see..." Much like a child he grabbed the letter before she could pull it back and yell no.

It was a picture of Tami. Hair down in crazy sleepy knots. Eyes smoldering and lips gently curved to invite the onlooker in. Shading lay in perfect places acting like it was hugging her skin. Her shoulders and collarbone was exposed, but it cut off before anything below that could be seen. Underneath the picture was large beautiful scrawl as if Arthur had taken extra care of it.

_Even Big Bad Wolves Deserve Love._

Mateo whistles lowly, "You sure did a number on that boy. Hell I want to sleep with him now."

"Gimmie that." Tami took the picture from him and shoved it under the thin mattress, "It's all over anyway. I basically went full high school drama last night and told him I loved him, before saying he didn't have a heart."

"You sure about that?" Mateo looked at her with a slight gleam to his blue eyes, "He was still working on that when I woke up this morning." He watched her eyes flicker between hope and sadness.

"Look, this is all a game right? Things are changing and as long as we end this right we go home. What happens between now and then doesn't matter so much." Mateo grabbed her shoulders to force her to look at him, "Go for it. I did."

"You went after Arthur? Ha, I didn't know you swung that way." Tami teased.

"I do, but it wasn't Arthur. Let's just say Davey isn't all that straight and narrow either." Mateo snickered lowly.

"Oh... Oh my god... Did you... Ewww, get out of my room! I did not need to hear that!" Tami shook her head while Mateo laughed lowly, "Straight and narrow, clever double entendre you nasty man."

He snickered lowly shaking her shoulders, "Just relax, Yeah things are changing. Apparently we can't stop that, but our talk... Well my speech and you laying in a nearly comatose state, it helped. Let us enjoy the time we're stuck in here alright? If that means saving a horse and riding a cowboy... It's a lot more fun than you'd think."

"Holy shit... Okay so. You guys are a thing or just..." Tami placed her fingers together raising her eyebrows.

"Not in camp. Still a worse stigma about having the big gay in the western times. Have to be very careful about it." Mateo shook his hands.

"The big gay, haven't heard that in a long time. " Tami snickered while Mateo gave a large grin and wink, "That's why you two go of on 'jobs' together!" Tami shook her head, "Should have known. My gaydar used to be really good."

"Eh, no one really could tell in our world either." Mateo shrugged, "Look they're gonna bring Jack back tonight. You know what's gonna happen. They're gonna come home pop a few bottles of alcohol." He changed the topic smoothly.

"I don't think seducing a man while he's drunk is the way to go." Tami sighed.

"He's not gonna be the only one who's drunk. Just have a good time, see where it goes. Hell, go after Javier or Charles. Good men too and they probably won't have as much reserve about some free-"

"Tami! I need to redo your splint today. Already have a bath ready for you, clean you up nice and rewrap your arm." Mary Beth stuck her head in the door with a wide smile, "Nice to see you this morning, Mateo. Davey's lookin' for you!"

"Course he is." Tami snickered lowly making Mateo smack her shoulder lightly.

"Remember what I said." Mateo pointed at her before turning to pass Mary Beth.

"What was that all about?" Mary Beth asked softly. Tami sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Nothing... nothing at all."

* * *

Tami brought her hand over her abdomen. It had felt like years since she had looked at herself in the mirror. She had grown slimmer from the lack of modern food around her. It was a lot harder to stress or boredom binge when you had to ration out the food. Her skin had adopted a soft tan. It was barely there, but enough that if she wore makeup she would have to go from light concealer to medium.

Twisting her naked body in the mirror she could see two scars on her shoulder blades. It was absolutely terrifying to see the puckered pink skin. Her eyes flocked to her cheek, noticing the small thin scab in the center of the wound and the pink scar puckering around it. Fingers touched the beginning just under her left eye and down to where it rested on her chin. Her right arm hurt when she moved it, but it healed up nicely. Mary Beth had checked the bones and proudly proclaimed it was doing very well. It would be weak and to keep it wrapped for at least another week. That was alright by Tami. Seeing the massive bruising along her arm was nearly sickening. She noted the increased healing times with everything, even if it wasn't instant it was still beyond fast.

The small bath of water was steaming, but welcome along her aching skin. It was a little tougher to get in without using both arms. An unfortunate fact she was now learning. Even the washing was difficult. Tami quickly laid her head back feeling the Tonic working at unbundling her mind.

_"Would you like some help?"_

She twisted her head against the fantasy. Arthur's voice was deep and pooled like honey in her ears.

"Yes." She breathed despite herself. A hand slipped between her legs as she pretended it was his hands, "This bath is big enough for both of us." Fingers gently rubbed the nub between her legs sending waves of pleasure through her. Clothes moved and thumped onto the floor. His breathing was erratic while moving close to her ear. She could feel his warm breath ticking the wet locks curled around her throat.

_"You're going to have to move your hand, Darlin'."_

"What?" Tami opened her eyes and looked around the room. Arthur was standing naked next to her making her jump into the air. Heart pounding like crazy. His eyes bore into hers, but there was something wrong with them. One eye was green as normal, but the second was was blue. His lips curled. Hand snaking between her legs and beginning to rub slowly in circles. Her muddled mind couldn't think to hard on it. She just fell into his hand.

"Stand up." Arthur ordered gently. She followed his order mindlessly. Water moving as he sunk into the water. Her eyes glazed over his body in a hungry way. Every puckered scar was hers to behold. Every coiled muscle was just to die for. His face however, looked wrong but she couldn't place her finger on it.

Large hands guided her hips back into the water. She could feel him entering her body with slow thrusts. Her throat tightened in a lewd moan, but it felt unfulfilling. Right and wrong at the same time.

Her climax came swifter than she would have hoped, but she let the waves of fire lick up her body, "You're so beautiful when you're on my Cock." He growled into her ear making her shiver, "Do you want this?" He wasn't asking permission. The question felt a little different... a little demanding. Tami pulled her head back against the pleasure and just nodded in need, "Then come get it." His lips sucked at her collarbone.

"Hey, Tami?"

Tami's eyes shot open. The water was no longer warm, but bone chilling cold. Head swinging around side to side in a desperate attempt to gain sight of the other person who had been there before. The door to the bath house opened slowly and Tilly gave a soft smile.

"Yeah? Oh." She stood and watched a small stream of red pouring down her right leg. A bit of pain coiled in her middle.

"I think you've fallen asleep. Been in there for nearly an hour. It's okay, we can get a few rags." Tilly came into the room and helped Tami dry off and dress. Her hands expertly re-applied the splint. She didn't even make a big deal of the bleeding. Just procured a few rags as she had said before and set Tami up. Tami missed the products of her own time, but also grew concerned at the sudden appearance of her period. Even after needing to eat and void herself the female monthly hell cycle hadn't shown it's head just yet.

Tami was clad in a pair of black pants and basic white cotton shirt. A poncho had been donated from Javier to wear until she could fit her splint through the arms of her own clothing.

"You hungry?" Tilly asked softly watching Tami's disorientated eyes scour the old bathhouse. It had been elegant once long ago, but now stood in near ruins to the back of the mansion they had set camp at.

"Yes, ma'am. What had Peterson ruined today?" She asked softly. Tilly threw her head back and laughed lowly.

"Come and see then. Most chores are done, and I'm in need of a partner for dominos if you're willin'?" Tilly slung her arm in Tamis and started the walk back to the main house.

"Yes please, I need distraction right now." Tami muttered lowly.

"From what?" Tilly asked with a raised brow and coiled lips, "From, Arthur perhaps?"

"Haha." Tami felt bitterness rise in her chest. While everyone else was watching from the sidelines like it were a show, she was living the feelings in full truth. The irony was not lost on her either.

Three hours later Tami was sitting across from Tilly with her head on the table, "I can't believe you've won every single round." Tami muttered lowly.

"Have a knack for it is all." Tilly snickered softly.

"Just a knack? Are you sure you're not a wizard? C'mon cough up the wand." Tami put her hand out. Mary Beth giggled from where she sat reading in the corner of the small room. Hosea looked up from his own book with a soft smirk.

"Maybe somethin' easier? We could try a round of chess." Hosea piped up from where he sat. Tami took a moment to look at him with shock. It was rare he spoke to her, even rarer still that he offered to do anything with her outside of jobs.

"I really would, but chess just sounds like trying to do surgery to me. There's just too many pieces and movements. Like, how can you remember it all?" Tami leaned back while Tilly moved to put the dominos away.

"Just learn." Hosea closed his book and rose popping his back with a large sigh. Tami snickered lowly.

The door slammed open revealing a shaken looking Charles, "They're back! Jack's back!"

The next few moments were a straight whirlwind. Tami had never seen such chaos wrapped in a happy bow. She felt rushed and pushed while everyone talked over each other. John and Abigail surrounded Jack constantly while the other camp members came to share their happiness. The sun started to set along their excited chatter. Fires lit and alcohol started to fall. Tami was pulled to the scout fire and laughed while everyone started to sing songs she didn't recognize. Her eyes would catch Arthur's every so often, but any time either of them tried to make a move to close the distance someone was pulling at their arms.

Once Dutch's speech started she was able to finally get away. Growing tired of all of the talking and attention. Alcohol in her mind making her weak. She was in bed bafore she could even stop herself. The true introverted nature begging for a break from all of the voices and people. She was nearly asleep when his voice met her ears.

"You awake?"

"Arthur..." She sighed not moving her arm from her eyes, "I'm on the rag, tonight's not the night to try and play hide the sausage." She could hear his laugh.

"Jus' wanted to finish our talk from the other day." He spoke making her look up to his blood shot eyes, pink cheeks, and drawn brows. He was so clearly drunk and she did not have time for it.

"Not the time, Cowboy... sorry." She whispered. He nodded and left before saying anything else.

With a soft groan Tami felt her guilt welling up inside of her. She made her way out of the house and found Arthur's tent easily. It was open to the world like it was before she had moved into it. He looked up from where he lay in his cot a bit confused, "I'm not here to talk. Too tired for that."

"Whatcha here for then?"

"Move over." She pushed his shoulder. With a raised eyebrow and slight groan he shifted as much as he could on the cot. Tami curled into his side laying her head onto his chest, "You're a bastard, and I'm still mad at you."

"Thank you for clarifyin'." He chuckled lowly pressing his arm to her back.

"What are we?" Tami asked suddenly.

"People?" Arthur lifted his head to look down at her.

"No... I mean. Friends, Friends with 'benifits', lovers, close enemies-"

"I dono." Arthur admitted. His fingers started to trace patterns on her back.

"If you could, would you sleep with me right now." Tami asked with her chin on his chest. His eyes bore into her own.

"Thought you didn't want to talk." He smirked at the glare on her face, "I wouldn't say no." His answer sent shivers up her spine.

"I wouldn't either. Too bad Miss Mother Nature came to visit." Tami sighed placing her ear to his chest.

"I'd have to agree." Tami fell asleep to the beating of his heart. Taking in the moment while she could. Arthur on the other hand couldn't fall asleep. He looked down at the way her face seemed so peaceful in her sleep, wondering if he had made the right decision by letting her sleep here. His fingers continued to trace her back, and fell onto the burn scars. Everything was growing too convoluted and strange. As much as he didn't want to admit it, the companionship was nice. It had grown hard to sleep alone again. In a camp you were never truly alone, but it was different to sleeping with someone besides you. Even if he was usually on the bedroll.

Their nightly bickering and conversations were a thing of the past. Talking until they fell asleep. It had made him more comfortable in here, and dare he say closer. Her admittance of love was something the girls at camp were already pressing for. He wouldn't speak of the private conversations with Mary Beth, but she had pressed for his emotional connection to Tami. It was difficult to shift his sight of her. At first being terrified of her. Thinking she was this otherworldly being. Then watching her forced into the dirt unable to fight back pushed the face she was just human like the rest of them into his mind. There was no flash of power to kill her enemies, just begging for it to be over. His hand gripped her hip harder. He would never see that again if he could help it. The bad part was that he was unsure if it was for his own selfishness or for her wellbeing.

He felt an almost unimaginable lust for her after the carnival. That was proven to himself. However, he was unsure if it also gathered the pedestal of love with it. Mind racing back to his previous relationships and the verbal lashing that came from John. Then to the way Tami confessed her love in a broken almost insulting way. There was good and bad to her. The sharpness to a blade would cut you, but also protect and provide for you. In the end did he truly deserve this?

Tami sighed in her sleep. Lips quirking upwards into whatever dream she was in. Her hand clutched at his shirt as if begging him to stay there. Arthur looked to the top of the tent and closed his eyes trying to dip into his own sleep. He wasn't sure if he deserved this, but he wanted to. He truly wanted to.


End file.
